I loved your end notes.  And you are right, abuse doesn't have to physical.  Just like a woman can just as easily be the abuser as a man.   The terrible thing is that most people don't want to believe that the woman can be the abuser in a relationship.    A firend's son was arrested beause his wife accused him of abuse.   She had a bruse on her wrist where he grabed her to stop her from hitting him.  When the cops arrived, he was the one with the bloody face, black eye, claw marks on his face, and chest.  While she only had a hand print where he grabbed her .   Thank goodness the judge saw things differently and he had ordered her arrestd for abuse when they went to court.