The door was never locked. It never needed to be, the man that lived there kept the things precious to him right alongside all his secrets locked somewhere down deep inside himself where no one could get in. Well, almost no one.

---------------

Tony sighed. He had been sitting there on the edge of the bed for a half-hour listening to the sound of the shower running in the adjacent bathroom. He had no way of knowing exactly how long Gibbs had been in the shower before he arrived.

Tony stood and kicked off his shoes and stripped off his clothes. He silently went into the bathroom and pushed aside the shower curtain and said lightly, "There any hot water left?"

Gibbs was standing so that he was facing the tile wall and had his forehead resting on it, his hands braced on either side of his head. The only acknowledgment that he had heard Tony was a tightening of the fist of his good hand.

Tony was glad to see that Gibbs had had the wherewithal to protect his injured hand from getting wet with a plastic bag. Tony could see the tension in Gibbs body, even with the hot water pounding on him. Tony picked up the bar of soap and after lathering up his hands, started to massage Gibbs shoulders. Shoulders that were so tight that they felt like they had the weight of the world resting on them. And the scary thing was that that wasn't far from the truth in recent events.

Tony's sure hands worked out some of the knots in Gibbs' neck and he moved the massage further down Gibbs body. When Tony's hand slipped around to Gibbs' front, he was surprised when Gibbs' good hand clamped down on his. He was even more surprised when Gibbs entwined their fingers, squeezing tightly, and pulled their joined hands tightly to his chest.

Tony pressed himself up against Gibbs' back and tucked his chin on Gibbs' shoulder. He said softly, "None of this is your fault. You know that, right?"

Gibbs spoke for the first time, "I should have seen it sooner. He wouldn't be dead"

"Langer?"

"Yeah."

"He was a good man, a good agent, and you cleared his name. Beating yourself up over his death won't bring him back."

Gibbs didn't reply, but squeezed Tony's hand harder. The quiet moment stretched with just the sound of the shower surrounding them when Tony suddenly made a huge mental leap.

"You were lovers," Tony stated.

Gibbs didn't answer, but his sharp intake of breath affirmed it to Tony.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a long time ago."

Tony pressed a kiss to Gibbs' shoulder and then said sadly, "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say.

Gibbs repeated himself, although this time with a little catch of emotion that he couldn't stop, "It was a long time ago."

They stood like that until the water started to run cool and they got out and dried off. The mood in the bedroom was somber and painfully serious, something it had never been before between the two of them.

The dim light of the bedside lamp softened the lines of Gibbs face and Tony could now clearly see the pain etched there. Gibbs pulled him in and kissed him deeply. The kiss full of tongue and teeth and want and need. And when the pulled back Gibbs pleaded, "Make me feel it."

Tony studied Gibbs' eyes for a moment and replied, "On one condition. I want to see your face. And I want you to see mine. It's just you and me here. Langer's not, and he won't be the one fucking you."

Gibbs nodded and said, "I know."

---------------

Tony made him him feel it alright. He made him feel it physically and emotionally, because even though Tony threw out words like "fucking" it was the furthest thing from what they actually ever did in bed.

Slowly and skillfully Tony brought him to the brink and then took him over it with his mouth and his hands, taking the edge off the tension still evident in Gibbs' body.

Then he took his time in preparing and opening Gibbs' body to receive him. His fingers patiently moving and stretching Gibbs even as his mouth teased and nibbled on various bits of skin here and there. When he felt Gibbs was ready, he settled himself between Gibbs' legs and lifted them to his shoulders, and with a slow and steady forward press, entered him.

Tony knew that Gibbs wanted it hard and deep, something he would feel for days afterwards, and he obliged, though probably not quite as hard and deep as Gibbs might have really wanted. Tony had no intention of hurting Gibbs, not even if that was what Gibbs wanted.

Long, sure strokes that Tony had angled perfectly to brush his prostate with each one had Gibbs hard and aching again in short order. The steady, sure pace was good for both of them and when Tony said through gritted teeth, "Look at me," and their eyes locked it was over for both of them as they came.

---------------

Tony tucked a pillow in front of him for Gibbs to rest his injured hand on and nestled back against Gibbs. Both men were in that relaxed, drowsy place that powerful sexual release bought about. The mood in the room was still somber but the tension had been broken.

Tony hesitated a moment but then asked quietly, "You really cared about him didn't you?"

Gibbs voice was soft near Tony's ear as he replied, "He and I... it was a long time ago, Tony. Things change."

Tony was getting a hunch that there was something else eating at Gibbs, something he wasn't sharing, so Tony prodded. "Gonna tell me what's twisting your gut into a knot?"

Gibbs gently kissed the side of Tony's neck and took a deep breath before answering. "I just can't stop thinking that if Vance hadn't shipped you off that it might have been you that she killed. I keep seeing you lying there instead of Langer. I can't get it out of my head."

Sometimes with Gibbs once you finally got him to talk it was like a dam bursting, and before Tony could say anything Gibbs continued, "He and I never talked about what we felt or didn't feel, Tony. Just like you and I don't. But you gotta know, this thing between us, even if we don't talk about it, it's there and it's real."

Tony swallowed hard, Gibbs was right, they never talked about the what the thing between them was or wasn't. His voice was low and full of emotion as he said, "You know, the day Paula died she told me that life was too short not to tell someone you love them if you do. But I think sometimes love can be there even without the words being said out loud. Like it is with us."

Tony felt Gibbs grin against his skin and his tone was lighter as he replied, "Yeah, like it is with us."

---------------
the end.