He had started to trace the wood with the roughly sharpened pencil when he heard the front door open. The floorboard creaked under the weight of the visitor. He didn’t need to turn to know that his senior field agent was now leaning by the door to the basement.

“I thought you’re done with building boats?”

He grunted. After the ‘Kelly’ had set sail and with the whole Hernandez case buried, he really hadn’t felt the need to do immerse himself in wood - until now. Although it was still heartbreaking when he thought about Shannon and Kelly, the pain no longer had any power over him.

“You didn’t call, so I figured I’d probably find you down here,” Tony walked down and deposited himself at the bottom of the stairs with an easy smile. “Whacha gonna make?”

“Haven’t decided yet.” Gibbs set down the pencil and the square on the workbench and turned his head to look at Tony. He’d obviously gone home, showered and changed before coming over to Gibbs’. Rather than his usual sharp suit, he had on a pair of ripped jeans, Ohio State hoodie and a leather jacket that looked incredibly soft. He didn’t bother gelling his hair; he had opted to simply run his hand through his hair, allowing it to stick up any which way.

“How did it go at the recruitment office?” Tony looked at him searchingly.

“Thought you were with the gang, hanging out with Magnus?” Gibbs pulled over a sawhorse and sat down, changing the topic. “Heard McGee showed him some of his computer magic in MTAC today.”

“Yeah, Tim did good today. They decided to take Magnus out to Chinese afterwards,” Tony smiled. McGee had set up pictures from every case file Magnus ever worked on, and did a whole show and tell with Ducky’s help. Magnus was pretty upset that his favourite Chinese take-out place closed down, so the rest of the team took him to their favourite place instead. And man could the old man talk up a storm! Ducky had commented that he’d never seen Magnus that happy in his life. But… “You didn’t answer my question.”

Gibbs snorted. “Persistent much, DiNozzo?”

“Hey, persistence is a virtue.” Tony shrugged. “Wouldn’t have solved all those cases if I wasn’t persistent.”

“Thought that was supposed to be ‘patience’?” Gibbs quirked an eyebrow. “Ziva rubbing off on you?”

“With you, patience wouldn’t be nearly enough,” Tony chuckled. Oh no, if he was only patient, he wouldn’t be here right now. He looked up, straight into the older man’s blue eyes. No masks, no antics - just genuine concern. He might only have a bachelor’s degree in PhysEd, but he was a PhD in Gibbs. There was something about this case that was clearly bothering the older man. He’d probably be right on the money if he had to guess, but he would prefer to have Gibbs tell him. They both needed this. “What’s wrong, Jethro?”

Gibbs could see the worry in Tony’s eyes. His lover could always tell that something was wrong, even if he tried to hide it behind his seemingly bulletproof exterior. He sighed, and got up to take off the tool belt. Might as well - it didn’t look like Tony’s going to let this one go easily, and he wasn’t going to get any work done when Tony became determined like that.

Not that he didn’t appreciate the gesture. It’s nice to know that he didn’t always need to bottle it up, that he could talk it out with someone he trusted, that he wasn’t alone. Over the years, Gibbs had learned to open up to the younger man, and in turn, received something that was so utterly incredible and wonderful in return: his love. The kind that he didn’t think he’d get another chance at.

But he wasn’t sure if he was ready, or even knew how, to talk about this, whatever this was.

Earlier in that conference room, talking to Petty Officer Craig’s sister, his gut had started to protest loudly, and when he saw the kid’s file in the office, everything had clicked into place. Turned out that his hunches were right.

Gibbs felt a gentle hand cupping his cheek. He looked up to find Tony standing in front of him, a sad smile on his face. In that precise moment, he knew that Tony knew exactly what it was that he didn’t want to say out loud. They both had been there - the faking and the lying, the denial and the anger, the hopelessness and the loneliness. They both knew exactly what the kid felt.

“I was so proud of him today,” Gibbs finally said, raising his own hand to lightly hold the hand Tony had on his cheek. “So damn proud. I just wished that his father could’ve seen it that way.”

Tony didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He leaned in towards Gibbs, wrapped his arms around Gibbs’ shoulders, pulling him into an embrace. Gibbs in turn buried his face into Tony’s shoulder, hands wrapped around the small of his back. Breathing in Tony’s scent - minty, spicy, and something unidentifiable but uniquely Tony. It felt comfortable, warm - safe.

“Fucking stupid waste,” Gibbs muttered into Tony’s sweatshirt. Craig had been a good man, even if he had his own faults. He didn’t deserve to die. Gibbs was shaking with the sudden bout of anger shooting through him, but the hands that started rubbing circles on his back soothed it away.

“Ssh… I’ve got ya.”

He didn’t know how long they held each other like that in his basement. He looked up, gasped slightly at the intensity of the love that was shining through those beautiful green eyes, and in that exact moment, he knew he’d be all right. Not right then and there, but eventually. It’ll take him a while to feel normal again, but as long as that love - the love that he’d do anything to hang on to and cherish for the rest of his life - remains, he’d be all right.

Moving one of his hands to caress the back of Tony’s neck, he pulled the younger man down for a gentle, chaste kiss. Resting forehead against forehead, he let out a small, lopsided smile.

“I seemed to remember that someone mentioned Chinese,” Gibbs placed another kiss on Tony’s lips.

“Got beer?”

“Plenty in the fridge.”

“Perfect,” Tony pulled Gibbs to his feet, fingers entwined. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

He could see it in his eyes. He’s seen it before.

It’s like looking into a mirror. Equal parts pain, loss, anger, defiance, shame and longing, all wrapped up with an unhealthy dose of self-doubt.

He knew it as soon as they spoke to him at the school. The file McGee pulled on him merely confirmed his suspicion.

At the end of the day, they were really all just victims of circumstance.

---

Tony stared at the plasma screen at the picture that McGee pulled up on the Simmons kid. Paul was his name. Then he heard himself giving everyone the stats on the kid.

The picture on the plasma had been taken a while ago. He knew that because the smile on the kid’s face was one of content and happiness. The kid he met had sad eyes. The same kind of sad eyes he saw every time he looked into a mirror.

Looking into the boy’s face, he felt like he got punched in the gut. He knew that he shouldn’t be so affected by what he was seeing. He had buried those emotions a long time ago along with many, many more; he’d adapted to hide behind the teasing and the flirting and the cheap smiles. He’d learned to not let the cases get to him - well, at least he tried to anyways.

But some cases, it just hits too close to home. He could feel the boy’s sense of lost, the pain and anger he felt, his hostility towards the world (and himself), because he’d been there.

Tony sat at his desk, staring at his computer. He couldn’t think. The boy’s sad smile lingered in his mind. Ducky came and went, looking for Magnus. Ziva had retreated to her desk, typing away. McGee was studying some statistics, deep in thought. There was just too much distraction, pulling at him, demanding his attention.

Finally, he stood up and made his way towards the direction of the men’s room, before inconspicuously changing his route and quietly slipping out the stairwell door.

---

Tony was sitting at the bottom of the stairwell outside of autopsy, engrossed in deep thoughts when Gibbs found him. He had his arms wrapped around his legs, looking like a lost ten year-old. The bottom of the stairwell was one of the few spaces in the entire building that security camera didn’t quite cover. It’s the next best thing from pulling the emergency switch in the elevator.

“DiNozzo!” Gibbs barked, “What are you doing here? I want you to go talk to that Simmons kid with Ziva.”

When Tony didn’t seem to register his bark, Gibbs got worried. He stepped over and sat down beside Tony and reached out to pat his shoulder. Tony startled at the touch.

“Hey, ya alright?” Gibbs asked softly.

“Yeah, Boss, I’m alright. Just need a bit of time and space to think,” Tony smiled, but his eyes betrayed his sadness, “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Bull,” Gibbs called his bluff, wrapping his arm around Tony, knowing that they won’t be seen on camera. “C’mere.”

Of course he knew what was wrong with Tony. How could he not? He had known Tony long enough - and well enough - to know how much that Simmons kid’s life resembled Tony’s… and his own. Right now, Gibbs would love nothing more than to drive them both straight home and give Tony all the TLC he needed.

Except - they’re in the middle of a case, still one perp short, and not a lot of evidence pointing anywhere. So he had to resort to giving Tony a quick recharge.

“I missed ya,” Gibbs cupped the back of Tony’s neck, pulling him in for a quick peck on his temple. He dropped another kiss on his lips when the younger man turned to look at him, “you finish this, and you come right back home, ‘k?”

Tony nodded.

“Go get ‘em, Tiger,” strong arms tightened around the younger man, Gibbs dropped another kiss into Tony’s hair.

“On it, Boss,” Tony turned and gave the former Marine a small smile. He buried his head into Gibbs’ neck, breathing in the comforting scent. He sighed as he reluctantly let go, brushing dust off the seat of his pants as he stood.

Gibbs watched as Tony step off to climb the stairs back up to the bullpen. He couldn’t help be feel the pang in the pit of his stomach. Let’s just hope that the day doesn’t get any worse, he thought to himself.

His eyes snapped open, unsure of where he was or what had woke him. His mind was hazy, as it always had after a bad case. And it had been bad; petty officer murdered for wanting to help someone. It had less to do with the case, and more to do with the emotions he held back becoming mixed up with past pains and the feeling of losing control.

He winced as his neck cracked in protest of his attempt at moving.

“Hey handsome,” the tenor voice of his lover rumbled behind his back.

“Hey yourself,” Gibbs smiled, feeling the warmth of his lovers body enveloping him in a tight embrace. They were lying on the couch, with Tony practically wrapping himself around him, watching a movie that he couldn’t remember much of. He must’ve dropped off soon after the movie started because he had no recollection of even the characters. The dinner plates they had their Chinese on was still sitting on the coffee table, beer bottles scattered among the mess.

Tony tightened his arms around Gibbs, bare feet coming up to rub against Gibbs’ own bare feet. He snuggled his face into the crook of Gibbs’s neck, and took a deep breath. Coffee and sawdust. How that combination along with Gibbs’ scent could be both comforting and a turn-on, he didn’t know.

“How you feeling?”

“Better,” Gibbs felt much better than when he first got home, and knew that Tony would take his word for it. At home, where they’re not Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo, where they can simply be Jethro and Tony. No need for masks, stern words and half withheld truths.

Gibbs shuffled and turned in Tony’s arms, plastering himself on Tony’s torso and wrapping his arms around the small of the younger man’s back. He placed his head on Tony’s chest, closed his eyes and listened for the comforting thumping of his lover’s heart. He was starting to understand why Tony had always insisted on using his chest as a pillow when they cuddled in bed on their days off. He felt grounded, safe and secure.

He can feel the vibration as his lover chuckled. He looked up, and lost himself in those loving emerald green.

What could I have done to deserve this? He wondered.

“Leroy Jethro Gibbs,” Tony cupped his hands on both of Gibbs’ cheeks, smiling wide, “you are the most honourable, most decent man I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. You are the quintessential ‘man for all seasons’, so quit pretending to be such a miserable bastard.”

“You deserve to be happy,” looking straight into Gibbs’ icy blue eyes, Tony said resolutely, emphasizing every word, “don’t you ever forget that!”

“Am I that easy to read?” Gibbs ducked his head, smiling.

“If you know the dialect,” Tony shrugged, “and I do have a PhD in Gibbs.”

“Touché,” Gibbs couldn’t help but agree as he nuzzled Tony’s Ohio State sweater, and placed a small kiss where his lover’s heart would be.

“I love you,” grinning like an idiot, he mumbled into Tony’s sweatshirt.

He could hear Tony’s slight gasp at his words. It often surprised him how easy it was for him to express his feelings around Tony. Like it did with Shannon, he hesitantly thought. But what was more startling was how little it took to make Tony happy. A casual caress in the elevator, some small words of praise for a job well done, three pm pastries and hazelnut latte on a long day… It was bittersweet - and almost heartbreaking - to know that he could make Tony happy with the smallest things.

Gibbs moved himself up a bit, sat up straddling Tony’s thighs.

“Tony, you’re the best thing that happened to me since…” he swallowed, “since Shannon and Kelly. I am happy. I’m happy because I have you! There is nothing else I want.”

He cupped Tony’s face the same way the younger man did earlier, blue eyes vibrant with a kind of intensity never before seen, making Tony shudder at his declaration.

“You’re mine. And I’m yours. I love you, so don’t you ever forget that either!”

With that, he leaned forward and kissed Tony with the same ferocious intensity in his eyes. The kiss was fierce and overwhelming, and it all but melted Tony into a puddle. Gibbs’ tongue darted out, seeking entrance, for which Tony granted with a moan.

“Oh God…” Tony shivered with the ecstasy coursing through his body as they parted, coming up for air. He could die, right here, right now.

Before he could say more, Gibbs drew him into another soul-searing kiss. He arched into Gibbs as the pleasure began to build, enjoying the delicious friction. His hands tremble as he reached down to snake his hands up Gibbs’ sweatshirt. Gibbs let out a growl at his touch, forcefully pulling them both up from the couch. “Bed. Now.”

Tony didn’t need to be told twice. He started back towards the stairs, lips still locked with Gibbs, tongues darting and dancing between them. Gibbs moved with him, hands kneading Tony’s ass, grinding his bulging erection against Tony’s own.

They had lost their sweatshirts somewhere along the stairs, their bare chest flush against each other as they stumbled into the bedroom. Words were reduced to groans and moans and sighs, as their hands wondered up and down each other, savouring the sensation of naked skin. Gibbs moved to nibble along the jaw line, drawing out whimpers from the younger man’s lips. He bit the tender flesh just below where the jaw met the ear, sucking then sweeping his tongue over to sooth. Tony moaned loud as he bit down, so he bit it again before moving further down to do the same to the spot where the neck met the collarbone, marking the younger man as his own. Nibbling his way back up to Tony’s ear, he whispered, “Mine.”

They fumbled with each other’s pants, and by some miracle opening them as their lips once again sealed flush. Gibbs snaked his hands inside the waist of Tony’s jeans, one finding the taut globes of Tony’s ass, the other the scorching heat of Tony’s cock. Gibbs sighed while his lover screamed in pleasure when his devilish hands gave his lover’s cock a gentle squeeze.

When the need for more skin-on-skin contact finally won out, Gibbs laid Tony down on the mattress gently, letting Tony shimmy out of his jeans while he divested his own pants and boxer briefs. He knelt one knee on the bed, looking down at the sprawled out form of his lover. It was all he could do to stare in awe at the beautiful man in front of him.

“God you’re beautiful,” Gibbs whispered.

Tony writhed on top of the comforter, hands running up and down his own body, desperate for touch. “Jethro… please!”

Gibbs braced himself on his arms, leaning down to kiss Tony in worship. He bit down again at the hot spot below Tony’s jaw, then nibbled his way down, finding one nipple hidden below the fuzzy chest hair. He grazed his teeth around the little nub, licking and swirling with his tongue, coaxing it to stand erect before moving on to its twin. Tony couldn’t help but moan and arch into the maddening sensation Gibbs was wreaking on his body. Tongue traveled down again, kisses being planted along the way, passing the navel, down towards Tony’s leaking cock.

Gibbs teasingly licked and kissed and nibbled at Tony’s hips and thighs, deliberately avoiding the cock, as he fished out the lube from under the pillow. Spreading generous amount of lube on his fingers, Gibbs eagerly sank one finger into the waiting hole, and before long, he was adding another finger, scissoring and stretching the entrance. His other hand reached up, caressing Tony’s side, massaging another hot spot as the younger man bucked at the touch.

“I want… want you… in… mmm… me… aah…” Tony stuttered out incoherently as he carded his fingers through Gibbs’ slightly damp hair, “’m ready.”

“Tony, open your eyes.” Gibbs said as he pulled out his fingers. Tony sighed at the loss. Straightening his back, still half knelt on the bed, Gibbs swung Tony’s legs up on his shoulders, hands gripping hard on Tony’s hips, bracing his own hardness at the inviting entrance. He’s probably going to feel this tomorrow, but he could care less at this very moment.

“Tony, look at me,” Gibbs said huskily; his blue eyes, darken with lust, trained on Tony’s face. Tony’s eyes snapped open and focused on Gibbs, bright green almost obscured by the black of his pupils.

“Nothing else but you,” Gibbs whispered as he slid home with one smooth thrust, moaning loudly at the satisfaction of being surrounded by the welcoming heat. After giving them both a second to adjust, Gibbs slowly pulled out, followed by another thrust. Twisting his hips slightly, Gibbs managed to hit Tony’s prostate, causing the younger man to gasp and keen loudly. God, he just loved how vocal and responsive his lover could be.

Tony couldn’t think anymore. He tried to say something, but it came out as a string of incoherent moans and groans. His left hand clutched the sheets tightly, while the other traversed his own body, finally arriving at his own cock. He felt like singing as he touched and stroke his own hardness. He no longer had control over his own body as it slowly turned into a puddle of need with every thrust. The only thing that was strumming in his head was the frequency of his lover’s strokes, mingling with the waves of pleasure coursing through his body into symphonic ecstasy.

As the strokes became more and more irregular, Gibbs could feel the tingling at the base of his spine as his own orgasm approached.

“Come for me, Tony,” Gibbs growled, “Come for me.”

The command brought Tony to completion screaming Gibbs’ name, coming all over his hand and body. His orgasm tore through his body, causing his muscles to spasm, drawing out Gibbs’ own climax. With one final thrust, Gibbs stilled and came with a loud howl before pulling out and collapsing on to the bed beside Tony.

Gibbs reached over to pull a barely conscious Tony into his arms and held on tight, and sighed in satisfaction. He started patting Tony gently from the hair to his back, all the while placing butterfly kisses on Tony’s face and damp hair. Tony snuggled closer with what little strength he had left, and let out a throaty sigh like a cat’s purr.

“Ya all right?” Gibbs whispered, clearly amused, as he continued to pat Tony.

“Never better,” his lover answered with a tired but content smile.

At some point he’d have to get up, get them both cleaned and tucked in, but that’s later. For now, Gibbs was content at just lying there with his sated lover plastered over him, basking in the afterglow.