Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS
Warning: this (very slash-y) Tibbs story contains some explicit content. Not for the faint-hearted or under aged or if you simply don’t like slash. Consider yourself warned.
Spoilers: : Tags to Requiem. I know it’s not original but I can’t seem to put it out of my head so.. here you go! :)


ICE COLD FEVER

The bullpen was quiet, having one of its rare, calm days. Gibbs was up in MTAC, McGee had stayed home sick and Ziva was typing away at her computer, every once in a while laughing and then typing again. ‘Probably mailing her boyfriend’, Tony thought to himself as he glanced in her direction and then went back to his work.


Tony sat at his desk, desperately attempting to focus on the paperwork that was laid out before him. He reread the same sentence for what felt like the millionth time but found himself unable to care. His treacherous mind kept throwing him off balance as he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing Gibbs before him, lifeless and ice cold. The feeling of his lips touching Gibbs’ blue ones. What should have stayed a well-hidden secret of his own imagination had turned into a recurring nightmare, where he woke up with the faintest hint of that intense fear still lingering on his lips.

It had been one week, three days, ten hours and fifteen minutes since he had saved Gibbs from that filthy river, the time etched in his memory, his broken watch a physical reminder from the imminent danger that lay beyond the surface of the water as he let himself be pulled deeper towards the car.

His heart clenched tightly in his chest as he realized how close he’d been to losing Gibbs, unspoken thoughts and feelings forever hanging in between them, the enormity of what he could have lost nearly palpable.

Tony gasped softly when he was abruptly interrupted in his musings by a crumbled piece of paper hitting him on the side of the head. He looked up to find Ziva smirking at him. “How does it feel to be on the receiving end, Tony?� she laughed. When Tony didn’t react, her smile faded and she came to sit on the corner of his desk. Tony expected her to push for answers, or at least crack a joke, but she didn’t. Instead, she simply sat there and looked at him calmly, calculatingly, seemingly trying to read his thoughts.

Tony never lasted long under that intense gaze. “what’s up, my sweet assassin chick?â€� he smiled innocently at her, hoping his eyes would show the sparkle they so often had in them when he was teasing his colleagues. Apparently it worked â€" or Ziva decided to let it pass. Instead, she ruffled his hair affectionately, smiling at his pout as he tried to force his hair back into submission.

“Taking a break, ladies?� Tony’s jerked his head to the side, just in time to see his boss coming off the stairs.

Ziva jumped on her feet as if she was stung by a bee. That seemed to please Gibbs, as the left corner of his mouth twitched slightly. He strode over to his desk, grabbed his badge and holstered his gun and put on his suit jacket.

“Do we have a case?� Ziva tried to make eye contact with Gibbs as he walked away from them. “Nope�, he answered gruffly before hurrying past Ziva. When Tony looked up, he just caught Gibbs’ gaze lingering on him before the elevator doors slipped closed and separated them once again.

CHAPTER TWO

For a moment, Ziva doesn’t seem to realize that Gibbs has left, as she’s still staring at the now closed elevator doors with a dumbfound look on her face.

“Probably a coffee-run�, Tony mutters. Whether he says it to reassure Ziva or himself, he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to refocus on his work but when he realizes that he’s already forgotten what he had been reading before Gibbs left, he lets out a frustrated growl and gets up from his chair so fast that it almost falls to the ground.

As he strides towards the men’s room, he hears Ziva mumble something about ‘Americans’ and ‘drama’, but he can’t bring himself to care. He nearly pulls the door out of its hinges as he reaches the restroom and comes to a dead stop in front of the mirror. He clutches the sink so tightly his knuckles are white as he tries to keep his composure. He fails miserably. When he sighs deeply and looks up, the mirror shows his reflection but he hardly recognizes himself. His eyes are red and suspiciously bright and he looks pale, like he hasn’t slept in days. Come to think of it, he hasn’t.

Tony starts to pace around the small room, desperate to calm his nerves. If Gibbs comes back and sees him like this, he’ll know immediately something is up. And Gibbs hates weakness. God, this need he has to please his Boss, it’s gonna be the end of him. How do you protect someone who doesn’t feel the need to protect himself? The mere thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t found Gibbs on time, it kills him. In a burst of anger, Tony punches the wall beside him. “Fuck!� he yells as he grips his fist tightly, more out of shock than pain.

He looks back in the mirror and his jaw clenches. Why does he feel so angry anyway? He should have known that Gibbs wouldn’t play safe and by the book, he should have known that his Boss would rather protect everyone else before he’d save himself. Tony had been looking after his team mates for years now and he could barely remember a life before having Gibbs’ six. Who was he without this job? He had become the job.

He rubs his hands against his face in an attempt to pull himself together. When he’d first realized that his feelings for Gibbs went far beyond loyalty towards his Boss, he’d promised himself that he would never let it affect his work. He couldn’t move to another state, not again. The thought alone of never seeing Gibbs again, was worth the torture of not being able to come forward about his feelings. It was worth saving Gibbs’ ass if he himself didn’t save it. He could never leave.

When he came out of the restroom, Ziva was casually leaning against the wall. “So, what was that about?� she tried to make it sound lighthearted but Tony could clearly hear her concern. He could try to come up with a dirty joke to put her off but his body seemed to have been drained of all energy. “Wow, Ziva, this must be the first time you’ve resisted the urge to join me in there! You must be learning some manners.� “Yeah�, Ziva smirked, “for some reason they do not like it when I go in there.�

Just as Tony sits down at his desk, a familiar sound announces the arrival of the main elevator. He fights the urge to look out for his Boss and keeps his gaze focused on the paperwork that is laid out before him. He could be holding the menu of a Chinese restaurant and he wouldn’t have a clue but still, he cannot afford to be caught eyeing up his Boss every second of every day.

Gibbs doesn’t bother explaining what took him so long but Tony would be more worried if he had. Tony decides not to ponder on it and is finally able to finish his report before they’re sent home. He can’t remember the last time he’s finished work at a decent hour and can’t resist feeling a little lost. Ziva seems to feel the same way, as she hesitates before grabbing her backpack and looking over her shoulder at Gibbs before getting into the elevator.
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“Come on Boss, come on! Don’t make me do this, don’t make me kiss you, Boss!�

Kissing him will just make everything real and he can’t let it be real, can’t face the possibility of accepting he’s in love with a man. Not if that man is dying in his arms. He screws his eyes shut tight and forces himself to get over it, to bend over and let his lips touch those of the man he loves so deeply.

He can’t hold back the sob as he feels Gibbs’ lips against his, ice cold and unmoving.

Tony doesn’t know how long he’s been breathing for him, forcing air in his lungs with an almost tender touch against his lips and then pressing his hands against his chest in a rhythm that has him functioning on autopilot.

He knows it’s not working but it doesn’t register. Even the blearing sirens of the ambulance that rapidly approaches them don’t cut through the thick fog in his mind.

When suddenly he’s pulled up by two pairs of strong arms and carried away from Gibbs’ body, the fog pulls away and he realizes that he’s failed. He promised to keep his six and now Gibbs is dead.

“NO! Please, I need to be with him, let me go! Please!� he screams as he witnesses how Gibbs is covered by a sheet and carried away.

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“Gibbs!�

Tony jolts awake and realizes he’s trembling uncontrollably. He’s been having the same nightmare over and over since the day he pulled Gibbs out of that filthy river. He lies back down but he already knows that he won’t sleep another minute that night. If he doesn’t get a good night’s sleep soon, Gibbs will surely notice something’s very wrong.

He’s fed up with lying and hiding. He’s keeping such a big secret that he feels he can no longer see the wood for the trees.

Maybe he’ll only ever get to sleep again if he faces his feelings.

Maybe that’s what he needs to be able to move on.

Maybe he should tell Gibbs. Yeah, he definitely should. Tomorrow.

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A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter. As I said, I’ve been really busy. This was a bit of a ‘filler’ chapter but I thought it was necessary for Tony to prepare himself for ‘the big confrontation’ ;-). I’ll try to update as soon as I can!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter three

Tony groans loudly as the sunlight starts to creep in between the closed curtains of his bedroom.

Ever since the nightmare he had last night, he’s been wide awake. He doesn’t yet want to acknowledge the beginning of a new day, and it’s not because he’s tired. Well, of course he’s tired, but it’s the prospect of seeing Gibbs that has him on edge.

He sighs as he throws the warm covers off his shivering body and forces himself to get out. As he stands in front of his wardrobe, he smiles. No matter how shitty his day will turn out, Armani will get him through it all. He walks into the adjacent bathroom and sneaks a peak in the mirror. He groans as he takes in the dark circles under his eyes and his tousled hair. He’d better shower before going in or security at the Navy Yard would probably think he was a hobo.

He sighs as the hot water hits his back. He squirts a generous amount of shower gel in the palm of his hand and lathers his chest, slowly but deliberately moving his hand lower. As he grips the base of his hard cock, a mental image of Gibbs smiling one of his rare half-smiles has him gripping it tighter and he starts a steady pace of stroking, every so often flicking his thumb across the head of his cock like he imagines Gibbs’ tongue would feel like. The idea of having his Boss on his knees sucking his cock sends him spiraling over the edge and nearly makes him collapse against the wall, yelling Gibbs’ name.

****
He searches for the roughest towel in his cabinet and dries off his muscular body hard-handedly to get a grip on himself.

Last night he had promised himself that he would tell his Boss about his feelings. After his nightmare had awakened such a strong sense of sadness and desperation in him, Tony had figured that he didn’t have anything to lose if he told Gibbs about how he felt.

He hadn’t been the same since he had saved Gibbs from the river. He had been physically present but his carefree attitude seemed like a memory only, fleeting rapidly until he doubted every part that had made him Anthony DiNozzo.

But how do you tell someone you love them? It’s not like he could just pull Gibbs’ sleeve and blurt it out. Tony grins at the thought alone, he can easily predict how that would turn out: “Hey Gibbs, I’ve been head over heels for you for as long as I can remember, and I just thought I’d confess so you can fuck me hard over your desk.�

Although he’s mocking the situation, he feels his body reacting to the thought of Gibbs doing those things to him. His dick hardening again in his already tightfitting designer jeans, he groans and bans all thoughts on Gibbs to the back of his mind and focuses on the bowl of cereal in front of him.

But, let’s face it, he’d probably get punched back to his own desk and then sent Afloat until he reached the proper retirement-age.

****

The sun is shining outside and Tony arrives at the bullpen with a big smile plastered on his face. When he notices that Gibbs isn’t sitting at his desk, his smile falters and he glances at the stairs leading to MTAC. “Gibbs up in MTAC?� he asks McGee. “Dunno, haven’t seen him all morning. Maybe he was already in when we arrived.� The younger agent doesn’t seem to care as he focuses back on his computer screen without a second glance.

Tony can’t help but feel like something’s not right. His suspicions are proven to be correct when Vance calls them from upstairs. “where the hell is Gibbs?! He should have been here twenty minutes ago. SecNav hates waiting!� he doesn’t look like he’s expecting either one of the Agents to answer him as he starts to pace around the balustrade. Tony pities the toothpick between the Director’s teeth. He doesn’t worry about what Vance is planning to do to Gibbs, though. Only a fool would ever pity his Boss.

Suddenly, he realizes he’s sitting at his desk, staring ahead, with an affectionate smile on his lips and his eyes dreamy. He has to grab his desk to resist the urge to head slap himself on the back of his head. On second thought, he’s happy Gibbs isn’t there. He couldn’t bear Gibbs’ eyes burning two holes in the back of his head when his feelings are so clearly displayed on his face, for everyone in the world to see.

He’s always had his classical DiNozzo-smile plastered on his face but lately, there have been these little cracks in his otherwise impeccable appearance. It’s on unguarded moments like these that he catches himself showing the real Anthony. And he hates it. The thought alone of slipping up and letting his eyes accidentally roam over Gibbs’ body, terrifies him.

“McGee!� Both agents look back up to find Vance standing in front of McGee’s desk. “Y-yes, Director?� the younger agent stammers. Vance seems to notice as he leans forward until he finds himself well in McGee’s personal space. “Trace Gibbs’ cell. Now. And DiNozzo, go get him. McGee, I need you in MTAC.� He glares at the two agents before retreating to his office.

McGee shakes his head curtly as if trying to wake up from a bad dream and then rapidly punches a few keys on his keyboard, his gaze fixed on his screen. Then he frowns and glances at DiNozzo, seemingly trying to decide whether he should tell him what he came up with.

“Jeez, McGee, are you gonna tell me today? This is not one of your suspenseful novels.� Tony rolls his eyes as he gets up from his chair and walks towards his younger colleague, putting on his best brave face. He’d rather not know what caused McGee to look this insecure.

McGee doesn’t seem to hear him. “This can’t be right…� he murmurs. He finally looks up from his reveries as DiNozzo comes to stand behind him and reads the screen over McGee’s shoulder. Now Tony frowns too. “North Capitol street.. isn’t that…� “Yeah, the safehouse from the Jennings-case, I know. What would Gibbs be doing there?� McGee finishes Tony’s thoughts.

They had closed the Jennings case a few days ago. Daniel Anderson, a navy lieutenant, had witnessed the murder of a colleague by some drug dealer. It had appeared that the murdered petty officer, Sam Jennings, had been behind on his payment and gotten punished for it. They had put the lieutenant in one of NCIS’ safehouses near North Capitol street until he could testify against the drugdealer. The trial was supposed to start in two days but now it appeared there was a problem. Why else would Gibbs go there, and why would he go by himself?

Tony sighs and moves to grab his jacket. “Try not to miss me Timmie, I’ll be back before you know it!� He grins as McGee obviously tries to hold back some insult.
****
As soon as he steps into the elevator and the doors close him off from the bullpen, Tony’s smile falters. He’s obviously worrying about nothing if McGee isn’t alarmed by Gibbs’ absence. And yet, he can’t seem to ignore his gut feeling. Since when does he even have a gut feeling?

Tony flicks the emergency switch and as the elevator comes to an abrupt halt, he closes his eyes for a minute. He’d much rather rely on Gibbs’ gut. Something feels off, and he can’t put his finger on it but he instinctively knows that his Boss wouldn’t go to the safe house if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.
****

Tony fidgets in his car seat and his hands feel clammy against the leather of the steering wheel. Better safe than sorry, he floors the gas pedal and grips the wheel tighter, his knuckles white from anticipation. He has no idea what he’s going to walk in on and he instinctively feels for his gun. When he feels it, safely holstered against his side, he lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’d been holding and relaxes a little.

He parks the car a few streets away and wills himself to walk at a normal pace. If he alerts anyone’s attention, Gibbs definitely won’t be happy. Tony seriously doubts whether his Boss will be happy as it is, so he’d better not screw up.

When finally the safe house is near enough for him to see it, Tony glances around. He doesn’t see anyone looking suspicious in the neighborhood so he’s good to go. He walks towards the door and is about to ring the doorbell when he sees the door is ajar. He pushes it open slightly further and is opens his mouth to announce the presence of a Federal Agent when he hears Gibbs’ voice through the open door around the corner.

“You can’t have both, Jason. If you shoot Daniel, you’re dead. And shooting a Federal Agent doesn’t get you very far either.�

Tony instantly backs up against the wall and tries to peek through the door. He feels a shiver run down his spine as he spots Gibbs, his hand on his gun and the other arm held protectively in front of Daniel Anderson, the lieutenant. They’re held at gunpoint by a guy he hasn’t seen before. He looks determined and that’s what frightens Tony the most. Gibbs is right, the guy will either shoot Daniel Anderson and then get shot by Gibbs, or he’ll shoot Gibbs but Daniel will escape. The guy looks like he’s weighing off his options and seems to decide that shooting Gibbs gives him the greatest chance of survival, as he trains the gun at Gibbs, more deliberately now than he had before.

He’s so focused on Gibbs that he doesn’t see Tony coming from around the corner. When Tony watches the guy lay his finger on the trigger, he double taps him in the chest and he’s standing beside Gibbs before the shooter’s body hits the ground.

Apparently, Tony has been staring at Gibbs the whole time and he’s only brought back to the present when the sound of the sirens registers. He watches the coroner move the body away and Daniel getting into the ambulance to get checked out. When it’s just Gibbs and him in the house, Tony is finally able to wrap is head around the events of the past half hour.

“Great timing, DiNozzo.� Gibbs smiles that faint smile of his and moves to leave the house. A raspy sound from his Agent’s throat makes him stop and look behind him. Tony’s just standing there, with a lost look on his face. His blue gaze settles on the suspiciously bright greens of his Second in Command.

“What the FUCK was that, Gibbs?� Gibbs stares at Tony for a moment when he sees how angry he is. He doesn’t answer though, which only seems to make Tony angrier, and the younger Agent approaches his Boss to prod his chest with his index finger. “You never do something like this without backup! What would have happened if I hadn’t come looking for you? You are so fucking arrogant like this, going where your gut takes you, not bothering to wear a vest and certainly not giving a shit about the consequences. This is the second time I’ve saved your sorry ass this month. I can’t sleep anymore, because I’m so afraid that every minute I can’t have your six, you’ll get yourself killed! For fuck’s sake, I love you too much for you to be so careless!�

When Tony realizes what he’s just said, he turns away from Gibbs and closes his eyes. No, no, no. this can’t be happening, he did not just declare his love for his straight-as-nails-and-Marine-too-Boss.

He hears the rustle of Gibbs’ clothes and he doesn’t dare to open his eyes or look at him.

He winces when he hears the front door of the safe house slam shut and he’s left alone in the middle of the room.

****
A/N: so, I know this isn’t what you wanted but I promise it’ll get better!

A/N: First of all, I’m soooo so sorry that it took so long to update! Real life hasn’t been kind to me, to say the least.. But I’m all yours again! � A big thanks to all the reviewers who encouraged me to write this chapter!
Chapter four
“Crap.� Tony runs his fingers through his hair and glances at the door, as if to make sure that Gibbs has really left. The excessive adrenalin from the hostage situation has left his body and he suddenly feels exhausted, like he could sleep for days.

He’s not sure whether he should move. Maybe if he stays here, on the exact same spot, he’ll wake up in a minute and none of this will have happened. Gibbs will have gone back to being oblivious as to Tony’s feelings and they’ll just go on solving murders, happily evading the bigger problem.

But then DiNozzo looks around, takes in the room and realizes that the damage has been done. He might as well go home since he’ll probably get fired anyway. The cool air hits him like a slap in the face as he closes the door of the safe house behind him.

His mind is clouded and his feet seem to move without a conscious effort, until he finds himself in front of his car.

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Tony tosses the cap of his second beer away and slumps on his couch, absentmindedly flicking channels and then deciding on a Magnum PI-marathon. Tom Sellick always manages to make a smile appear on Tony’s face. He’s almost forgotten all about NCIS when his phone rings.

His eyes trained on the screen, he picks up without taking so much as a glance at the caller’s ID. “Yeah, DiNozzo?� he says, cracking a smile at the sight of Magnum picking up a stunning woman in his Ferrari.

When the caller answers, he almost drops the phone.

“DiNozzo!�

“G-Gibbs!â€� â€" ‘Oh my god, I sound like McGee’, Tony winces as he hears himself reply to his Boss â€" former Boss?

“Are you gonna show up here soon or taking a vacation?� the gruff voice replies.

“Wh- do I still have a job?� the words leave Tony’s mouth before he can swallow them. He slaps the back of his head.

Gibbs seems to have heard, as he answers without so much as a hesitation in that husky voice. “Do you have anywhere else to be, DiNozzo? By the way, slapping you is my job.� And with that, Tony hears the ‘click’ indicating that Gibbs has ended the call. That man should really work on his phone manners.

Tony replays the conversation in his mind as he walks to the bathroom to check if he’s decent enough to come into work. He can’t keep a shiver from running down his spine as he thinks about Gibbs, slapping him somewhere else, anywhere else than on the back of his head.

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Crossing the parking lot toward the entrance of the Navy Yard, he winces at the bright sunlight. His head is throbbing slightly and he’s feeling lightheaded â€" although that could be caused by both the beer and Gibbs. He flashes his signature DiNozzo-smile at the security guards and when they don’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, he lets out a breath that had been caught in his chest for far too long.

Tony rides the elevator with Brenda, a cute girl from Human Resources. She’s talking to him, standing closer than appropriate and practically throwing herself at him, but he can hardly hear her over the sound of the blood rushing through his ears. He looks at her, sees her pupils dilate and her breath hitch and he smiles. It’d be so easy to force her against the wall, his knee between her legs and just kiss her senseless until her knees give way. Sometimes he misses his playboy persona. He mostly keeps it up for the team but he has stopped believing it himself a long time ago. He remembers the exact moment he had realized his feelings for Gibbs were more than friendly…


He knows he doesn’t have to knock but still hesitates a moment, his hand on the doorknob, before pushing through and opening the door. The house seems to have taken over the no-bullshit-attitude his Boss carries with pride. Tony feels ridiculous for being impressed by something as ordinary as a door and yet, he wouldn’t be surprised if Gibbs could see right through it. His Boss is like a force of nature, he never backs down for anyone and his fierce blue eyes always carry the same intensity.

But they have caught a case and since they’re a two-man team, he’ll have to wake the beast. Normally the roles would be reversed and Gibbs â€" who practically lives at the office â€" would come and pick him up. But last night, he had stayed late to finish a report and Gibbs had gone home at a decent hour. Another reason why he was so reluctant to wake his Boss; maybe this was the first night in weeks he could get some sleep and instead of that much-needed rest, Tony was here to bug him some more.

The wooden floor in the living room creaks softly and Tony wants so badly to turn around and walk away. At times, Gibbs can be almost impossible to live with, and that’s just in daytime and with coffee. Tony doesn’t want to imagine what he’ll be like now.

He’s been here before but obviously the master bedroom isn’t one of the rooms that Gibbs showed him. He guesses it’s upstairs and he takes the steps two at a time, as quietly as possible. When he notices the first door on the left standing ajar, he carefully sneaks a peek inside. Yeah, this is the bedroom alright. Gibbs is sprawled out on the bed, his naked body only half covered by a thin sheet. The moonlight coming through the curtains offers Tony a glance at his Boss’ defined abs and muscular arms. He looks peaceful like this, the otherwise hard lines around his eyes and lips have softened a bit and Tony can’t keep his eyes from roaming across Gibbs’ toned body.

When Tony’s eyes travel over the older man’s chest and lower, his breath catches in his throat. Gibbs’ cock is clearly visible under the sheet and Tony licks his lips without a second thought. Wait â€" what? He takes a step back, eager to get out of there. What the hell just happened? The floor creaks again, this time harder and then everything sort of happens in a blur. Gibbs jolts awake, his right arm moves under his pillow at the speed of light and he trains his Sig at Tony. “Whoa, easy Boss!â€� Tony yelps.

“Jeez, DiNozzo. Do you get a kick out of watching people sleep?� he appears to expect an answer to that, as his blue eyes settle on his Senior Agent’s. Tony is doing his best impression of a deer caught in the headlights and opens his mouth a few times before he finds himself able to answer, never breaking eye contact with that intense blue gaze.


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Tony gets off the elevator and strolls into the bullpen, carefree smile plastered on his face. He walks straight to his desk and smiles at McGee’s questioning look. “Where is our fearless assassin chick?� he wonders, only now realizing that she hadn’t been at work in the morning.

“How sweet to worry about me, hairy butt!� Ziva teases as she descends the stairs and walks up to the team. She reads the question in Tony’s eyes and shrugs. “Vance needed me in MTAC this morning, Special Agent Balboa caught a case that required help from Mossad.� And then she walks toward her desk, effectively fencing any other questions her two colleagues might have had on the matter.

And then it doesn’t matter anymore, as Gibbs comes down the stairs in a hurry. “McGee, what have you got?â€� he asks, making his way to the big screen. McGee grabs the remote. “Daniel Anderson, key witness in the Jenning-case. He was attacked this morning in the safe house near North-Capitol street. Anderson was upstairs when the intruder made his way into the house and was able to contact NCIS.â€� Gibbs took over. “When I arrived at the safe house, Anderson was being held at gunpoint by a guy, he wasn’t part of the original investigation ‘cause I hadn’t seen him before. I announced myself as a Federal Agent and ordered him to put down the gun, but the guy wouldn’t budge. That kind of dedication probably indicates that he didn’t have much to lose so I think he has ties to the original drug cartel that murdered Jennings. To keep Anderson from testifying against them, it’s very likely that they would send a hit man. But DiNozzo shot him before I could get him to answer any questions â€" Gibbs looks at Tony sharply - so we’ll have to rely on Abby’s DNA-match, as soon as Ducky is done with him.â€�

Tony huffs indignantly. So now it’s his fault that he saved the lives from both a valuable witness and the team leader of the MCRT? He opens his mouth to protest and then remembers what happened this morning, when he tried to convince Gibbs of the value of his life. He takes a deep breath and decides to let it go, but he can’t keep the edge of annoyance from his voice as he speaks. “I’ll go down to see what Abby has found so far.� “I’ll check the neighborhood around North Capitol street, maybe there are witnesses from this morning, or the days prior to the attack.� Ziva offers. Gibbs nods. “I’m coming with ya�, he states and grabs his gear. Ziva moves to do the same and McGee sits down at his computer. “Jennings’ murderer, Juan Cortez, is still in locked up and waiting for the trial to start but I’ll check his financial records, maybe he paid someone to organize a hit on Anderson.� Gibbs nods approvingly and they make their way to the elevator.


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“Abby? Abs! ABBY!� Tony screams from the top of his lungs to the unsuspecting forensic scientist. “TONY!� she screams back with the same amount of enthusiasm, as she lunges herself in his arms. She squeezes him until she’s satisfied with Tony’s squeaky pleas for air and then moves to turn down the volume of the noise she calls music.

“What can I do for ya, hot stuff?� she asks, as she ruffles his hair affectionately. “You never visit me anymore! Most of the time, Gibbs comes down. Don’t get me wrong, I love our fearless leader but I love my Italian stud too!� she grins as she wraps her arms around his strong chest and sighs happily. Tony smiles. That’s typical Abby, she has probably already forgotten that he came down here with a purpose. He pokes her softly in the side and gently tugs a pigtail when she disentangles herself from him.

“You’re here for the Jennings-case, right?� she punches a few keys on her keyboard but her usual thrive and blur of pigtails dancing around seem to be missing. “I got nothing�, she pouts. The DNA we have doesn’t match anyone in the database, but I’ll keep trying. Ducky finished the autopsy but obviously the cause of death was a no-brainer. That must have been badass Tony-boy! You swoopin’ in and saving the day!� “Yeah, glad you appreciate it. Gibbs...not so much.� Tony murmurs as he leans against her desk.

“Awww, don’t worry sweety, he’ll come around. He’s just pissed ‘cause we have nothing to go on â€" for now.â€� She pats his shoulder encouragingly. Tony smiles sadly. Abby’s right, Gibbs will probably come around once they have a lead they can go on. But he knows there’s more to it than that. He wonders how Abby would react if she knew how he feels about their silver haired fox. If she knew that he didn’t race to the safe house to protect their witness but to make sure Gibbs was safe. Of course, they all look out for each other but Tony would be lying if he said that’s all he was doing. He wasn’t there to protect their team leader. He pulled the trigger to protect the man he loves.


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“Goddamnit I want a name! NOW!� Gibbs rages as he downs his tenth cup of coffee and punches his computer. McGee is smart enough to let that one pass for now, and concentrates on his own screen. Juan Cortez’s financial records are clean, suspiciously clean. But then again, that probably would have been too easy. Ziva and McGee found a few neighbors who’d seen the shooter break into the safe house that morning but they hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary in the past few days, so that doesn’t bring the team any further.

It’s eight o’clock and they’ve gone over all the angles at least twice and still come up with nothing. Gibbs sighs. He doesn’t look up from his paperwork but he knows they are waiting for a sign, his blessing, before they go home. He’s being hard on them but throwing himself on this case is the only thing that keeps him from replaying Tony’s words in his mind, over and over. The day’s events catch up on him and he decides to put his Agents out of their misery. “Go home, sleep. I don’t want to see any of you before 8 AM tomorrow.�

McGee and Ziva scramble to pack their stuff and go home. Tony is more hesitant. He checks if his teammates have left and then he slowly walks up to Gibbs, seemingly trying to gather his courage in the few steps it takes him to reach his Boss. Gibbs doesn’t acknowledge Tony’s presence in any way but that doesn’t surprise the younger Agent. Being able to handle his Boss’ moodswings is a big part of his job as Second in Command. He clears his throat. “Look, Boss… About this morning…� Gibbs interrupts him before he can say anything else. “Nothing to talk about, DiNozzo. Get out of here.�

Tony’s heart sinks in his chest and he fights the urge to grab the arrogant man by the collar and shake him up, just to get a reaction out of him. Anything other than his usual indifference. He keeps his gaze trained at the older man, but it doesn’t bring him any further. He sighs and without saying anything else, he grabs his gear and walks toward the elevator. A few minutes later, he’s standing on the parking lot outside of the Navy Yard, and takes a deep breath. At least the day is over and he gets twelve blissful hours without his grumpy boss.


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The blissful hours without his grumpy boss aren’t so blissful after all. Tony revels in the slight burn the gulp of whisky leaves in his throat. Tonight, he just wants to forget about the whole day. There’s a game on but he’s not really paying attention, just waiting for the alcohol to kick in and leave him in a haze of ignorance and happiness that only fools accomplish.

He’s halfway to sleep on the couch when he hears distant knocking on his front door. Slowly sitting upwards and coming out of his alcohol-induced slumber, he realizes the knocking is not so distant. It’s harsh, persistent, working on his nerves already. He knows that second who’s on the other side of the door. For a second, he considers ignoring him. He actually laughs at that thought. Gibbs is the one with his one schedule, trying to force his own timing on his Boss would probably only get him as far as more head slaps.

He gets up from the couch, screwing his eyes shut tight to let the sudden headache subside and then moves to open the door, though Gibbs is one step ahead of him. Just as he reaches the door, his lock gives way and his Boss simply makes his way into his home.

“Oh, by all means, come in!� Tony blurts out. Gibbs simply shrugs. “Should have been faster, DiNozzo.� He answers dryly and settles on the couch. Tony waits for the fog in his mind to go away and he stares at his Boss, obviously trying to place him here, in his apartment.

Gibbs decides that the younger man has been taunted enough for one day. “I just came over to discuss something about the case.�

Tony stares at him. The fog is gone alright, but it’s been replaced by a blazing fire within him. The anger from this morning has returned with full force and it takes all his willpower to keep from manhandling Gibbs out of his home. He looked at the clock. “I still have nine hours in which I don’t have to deal with you. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.� As soon as the words leave his mouth, Tony mirrors the surprised expression that Gibbs is now showing. Liquid courage sucks when it’s directed at your Boss. Stupid whisky. In a matter of seconds, Tony promises himself he’ll never drink again. But the words are already out in the open so he might as well stand up for himself and face the consequences. He straightens his back, tilts his chin a little and undergoes the fierce blue gaze his Boss settles on him. The intensity weakens his knees and he leans against the door in an effort to hide it from him. Tony knows those eyes see everything, but he’ll be damned if he just hands his thoughts on a silver platter.

He bites his bottom lip to keep from blurting out an apology. The last thing he needs right now is to be seen as weak. Gibbs gets up from the sofa, never breaking Tony’s gaze, and walks up to him until they’re standing so close that Tony feels his body heat. He can’t help it, and his eyes flutter shut for a moment.

“Tony…� Gibbs whispers as he reaches out to touch his Agent’s arm, but Tony takes a step back, effectively dodging his Boss’ touch.

“Don’t say it� he pleads. Gibbs sighs. “Look, I never talk about anything. But I can’t ignore what happened this morning. You know you’re a valuable asset to the team, and I respect you. But I’m not gay Tony, I just don’t feel the same way.�

“Don’t you think I know that? The whole Marine-attitude and three divorces gave me a few clues. Thanks a lot for the pep talk but can you please leave now?� Tony forces the words out of his throat, his voice strangled. He looks away from Gibbs, showing a great interest in his floor when he opens the door and waits for Gibbs to get out.


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A/N: Again, sorry for the long wait. The next chapter will probably have less angst in it, but I felt it was necessary for the story to go down this road first. Let me know what you think!
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A/N: Thank you for the wonderful feedback, you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter! (Mind the change of rating, not kidding, it’s VERY explicit…)

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Chapter five

Tony thinks of Abby as he’s standing there, holding the door open and keeping his eyes shut to avoid the confrontation with his - very heterosexual - boss. The forensic scientist likes to believe that if she screws her eyes shut tight, the threat will have gone away when she reopens them. Tony always thought that was kind of cute but idiotic nonetheless. Now though, he understands why she does it. It’s the last possible hope of a good outcome he can hold onto. If you’ve tried everything else and run away from the problem for so long that you don’t remember a time in which you weren’t afraid, it suddenly seems like you can only get peace of mind when you’ve tried absolutely everything.

“You know that doesn’t work, right?� Tony groans when he hears Gibbs’ husky voice. “One can only hope.� He retorts, as he opens his eyes and looks straight into the mocking eyes that always have him feeling so lightheaded. If asking him to leave doesn’t work, maybe he should just ignore the other man. So he walks into the kitchen, starts the coffee machine and tries not to glance in Gibbs’ direction. Ignoring him is harder than he thought, especially if he keeps making stupid comments. “You’re trying to make me leave by making coffee? How well do you know me exactly?� Tony doesn’t miss the hint of laughter in his voice. He doesn’t know whether he should be annoyed by Gibbs’ persistence or amazed by his determination to talk about this whole situation. He decides on annoyance because he doesn’t get why Gibbs would want to know the details of his feelings.

“I know you well enough. You’d rather drink coffee from NCIS than my so-called ‘hazelnut crap’ and since I don’t have anything other to offer… I guess this will work.â€� He wonders why he’s being so bold â€" and why Gibbs isn’t already headslapping him into oblivion. He can’t resist turning his head to cast a glance at the older man. Gibbs is leaning against the counter now, a lot closer to him than he thought and Tony gasps. Gibbs just keeps looking at him with that calculating gaze that makes you want to confess your innermost thoughts. So he’s using his interrogation tricks now? That just annoys him even more and yet… he can’t help but feel special for being the center of Gibbs’ attention.

He sighs. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t treat me like a suspect in my own home. Look Gibbs, we’ve been friends for years now. You know you can count on me at work to accept your leadership and you know I don’t overstep that boundary. But in here, after hours, we’re equals.� He takes a deep breath and waits for the storm to come. When the other man simply agrees with him, Tony jerks his head towards him, unable to hold back the words as his eyebrows rise. “What do you mean, ‘you know’?�

“I know.� Gibbs repeats. Of course, leave it to him to be stubborn on the worst possible moments. When Tony doesn’t react, Gibbs elaborates. “You just said it, we’ve been friends for years. But every time you’ve spoken up tonight, I see you cringe like I’m about to head slap you any moment. I guess I missed the moment where you could no longer be at ease with me. Why are you looking at me like I just grew a third eye?� Gibbs tilts his head slightly, obviously trying to understand is Senior Agent better. Tony sighs. “You’re talking too much and I’m not saying anything. It’s like my world view has just been proven totally wrong. This is more shocking than the time where people found out the earth wasn’t flat!� He starts to pace and looks up sharply when Gibbs snorts. “You’re still a dramaqueen so my world view hasn’t changed�, Gibbs teases back.

Tony can’t help but crack a smile at that. He can’t remember the last time he was with Gibbs without having to worry about exposing his feelings. Gibbs is right â€" he hasn’t been at ease with him anymore. But maybe it’ll be okay. Even if he can’t have the man in his bed, he can still enjoy their friendship…right? Then why does it feel like he’s selling himself short? Is it wrong to want more, to expect more? And of course there are other fish in the see, but Tony always wanted to hook just one and keep onto it for dear life. This might not be bad, being rejected. Maybe this is what he needs to move on and focus on other fish. Great, now he’s seriously philosophizing about fish. He’s officially lost it.

Being caught up in his musings caused him to lose track of Gibbs, and he’s suddenly made very aware of the other man’s body heat when Gibbs opens the cupboard behind him and moves to grab another can from the top shelf, effectively trapping Tony between his chest and the sink unit. Tony whimpers when he feels the broad chest pressed up against his back and he has to clutch the sink tightly to keep himself from leaning into the touch. He jumps away from Gibbs like he’s burnt and knocks the can out of his Boss’ hand in the process. It falls to the ground, losing its content of instant coffee all over the wooden floor. Okay, so maybe it’ll take more than just his common sense to get over this fish. Apparently, his body reacts to every touch from the silverhaired man and Tony swallows thickly when he feels his cock straining his pants.

“What the hell just happened?� Gibbs manages to get out, his eyebrows shot up in his hairline. Then his eyes travel down Tony’s body and his mouth falls open when he spots the bulge in Tony’s jeans. Tony lets out a sudden and harsh laugh when he sees Gibbs’ expression. “Great, I finally got you to shut up!� he tries to joke it off, desperately trying to pretend he’s not standing in front of his boss with a raging hard-on.

The silence in the room is suddenly deafening. Tony can’t take it anymore and he throws his arms up in defeat. “Great, you got me, you can run off now.â€� But Gibbs just keep standing there, like he’s suddenly nailed to the floor. Tony sighs â€" this night just keeps getting worse. He retrieves a hand vacuum cleaner from the cabinet behind him and bends down to clean up the coffee powder that’s lying at Gibbs’ feet.

He kneels to check if there’s any coffee powder left behind in the cracks in the floor and he suddenly realizes that all this time, Gibbs hasn’t made a sound. He looks up at him, about to ask if he’s okay when he sees the otherwise blue eyes are now almost black. His breath catches in his throat and he has to clear it several times before he finds his voice again, raspy from desire. “What’s wrong?â€� he tries not to focus on the fact that he’s kneeling between Gibbs’ legs â€" or that his heart is practically beating out of his chest.

Gibbs shakes his head curtly, not finding the strength or the presence of mind to answer the man at his feet.

“Tell me, please� Tony pleads, almost losing his sanity in the desire to reach out and cup Gibbs’ cock through his pants.

He loses himself in Gibbs’ steel blue eyes until the older man finds it in him to speak. “You’re always so eager…� he manages, just above a whisper. He says it like it amazes him. At any other moment, Tony would have laughed but now he finds himself unable to do anything but stare at Gibbs. “I’d do anything for you�, he replies hoarsely, “do you have any idea how much I want to suck your cock right now? Just swallow it down and letting you come down my throat, and then just keep sucking and licking until you’re hard again and ready to fuck me?�

Gibbs thrusts up his hips involuntarily at Tony’s words and stares down at him, running his hands through his own silver hair in a gesture of despair. “What the fuck, it feels like my chest is so tight I can’t breathe. Why do I want to force my cock between your lips when the normal reaction would be to push you away?�

Tony is close to panting now, palming his own cock through his jeans and looking up at his Boss. “Do it.� He whispers, involuntarily biting his bottom lip.

“Tony, stop�, Gibbs groans, “we can’t do this. I can’t do this, not with you.�

Tony shrugs and claws at Gibbs’ leg. “Please, I want you so much. I don’t care if you’re not gay, just let me have this.� He begs, not caring if it makes him sound weak. He moves his hand up to Gibbs’ covered erection, rubbing his balls through his trousers.

Gibbs growls, pushing Tony’s hand away with force and undoing his belt. He unzips his pants and takes out his dick, which is now rock hard and leaking with precum. Grabbing it by the base, he reaches out with his other hand and takes a firm grasp of Tony’s hair, forcing him to come closer by pulling hard. Tony moans hard and moves to take Gibbs’ cock in his hand, only to have his hand pushed away again.

“Hands off, I want those pretty lips on my dick, now.� Gibbs’ otherwise controlled manner has long gone and his voice sounds tight. He takes his dick and rubs it against Tony’s cheek, gasping for air when he sees how eager Tony turns his head and opens his mouth to take him in. He grips Tony’s hair again and pulls it so that Tony’s head is tilted back, his mouth open and inviting.

And then the man by his feet licks the tip of his cock, smearing the precum gathered there all over his lips, all the while not breaking their eye-contact. “Fuck!� Gibbs yells, gripping his cock harder to let the desire to come subside. Tony licks the head again and sucks it lightly. “Do it�, he moans, “fuck my mouth, please� he’s begging uncontrollably now, licking the head of Gibbs’ cock again and again, waiting desperately for him to take the lead.

Tony’s words break the last of Gibbs’ resolve and he growls again. He grips his cock tight, grabs Tony’s chin and forces his dick between the glistening lips, reveling in the way Tony opens up his mouth without hesitation and licks the underside of his erection. Gibbs pulls back until only the tip of his cock touches Tony’s lips and then he plunges back in, forcing almost his entire length down Tony’s throat. Tony is now moaning constantly and sucking so eagerly that Gibbs can only stare at him, hypnotized by that soft tongue lapping his cock like it was made for that purpose only.

He sets a steady pace and when he notices that Tony relaxes even more, now making constant mewling sounds, Gibbs fits his entire length between his soft lips. Then suddenly, Tony sucks harder and stops licking, moaning hard and trembling all over. Gibbs pulls back, concerned that he’s done something wrong but then he sees Tony’s eyes, glazed over and his lips swollen, panting hard. “Did you just come from sucking my cock?� he tilts up Tony’s chin and forces the younger man to look him in the eyes. “Y-yes�, he moans, between breaths.

That’s enough to send Gibbs over the edge. “Open up�, he warns. The second Tony takes him in his mouth again, he comes so hard he nearly blacks out. His knees give way and he slides down on the floor, beside Tony. His Senior Agent is now blushing fervently and still gasping for air.

Tony is still trying to wrap his head around what just happened, when he realizes Gibbs is staring at him. “What?� he asks softly, already threatening to get lost in those blue pools.

“Come here�, Gibbs answers, his voice husky. Tony looks at him questioningly and moves to sit closer to him when Gibbs cups his face, and then softly brushes his lips against Tony’s.

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A/N: So, what did you think? Hope I didn’t traumatize anyone… More soon!
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A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! The previous chapter turned out different from what I originally planned, but apparently you guys love dirty every once in a while :D

Someone told me that it seemed like Gibbs was taking advantage of Tony. And I can understand why it would seem that way but I never intended for it to come over like that. The way I see it, Tony makes Gibbs feel things that no man has ever made him feel before, and it kinda drives Gibbs nuts � I appreciate that you’re looking out for Tony though :D hope you like this little chapter, I’ll write more later today!

Chapter 6

The moan that escapes Tony’s lips as they touch Gibbs’, seems to break the spell and Tony pulls back, staring at Gibbs. His Boss is mirroring his expression and neither of them seems very eager to break the silence.

Gibbs frowns as he searches Tony’s features, as if he’ll find the answer there. The younger agent snorts. “What are you staring at me for? I’m the gay one.� It’s meant as a joke but when Gibbs winces at his words, Tony sighs. “Look, Gibbs, I told you I wanted this. I don’t expect to see a bouquet of red roses on my desk tomorrow but I don’t need your pity either.� The edge in his tone gives away a lot more emotion than he wants to display. He gets up from the floor and holds out his hand, waiting for Gibbs to accept it.

The older man’s gaze is settled on Tony but he doesn’t seem to focus on his Agent, just staring ahead. “Okay, Gibbs, you’re scaring me now.� Tony laughs nervously. “I’ve never traumatized anyone with a blow job before. Now get up ‘cause you’re not getting any younger and your knees are not going to be happy.� That comment makes the left corner of Gibbs’ mouth arch slightly and he finally accepts Tony’s hand, groaning as he stands up. Tony laughs at the sound. “Jeez, maybe I should drop you off at a home for the elderly instead of the Navy Yard.� Gibbs slaps the back of his head but it just makes Tony laugh harder.

Then he realizes that Gibbs is still observing him, a thoughtful look on his face. “What?â€� Tony asks impatiently. “It’s just… it’s nothing. I’ve never been on the receiving end of your playboy-smile, that’s all.â€� Gibbs smiles slightly as he says the words, suddenly showing a great interest in the floor. When he looks back up, it’s hard to not get lost in Tony’s sparkling eyes. They’re full of mischief and Gibbs has no trouble imagining all the women â€" and men â€" who have let themselves get lost in there before him. Tony laughs again. “You’re one to talk, you collect ex-wives!â€�, he exclaims and ducks for the head slap.

Tony had expected this to be a lot more awkward but instead the atmosphere in the room reminds him of his days with the Baltimore PD, when he first met Gibbs. Back then it had all been like a dream; Gibbs had made him feel like he truly belonged somewhere â€" at Gibbs’ side. He’d discovered a piece of himself he hadn’t known was there; he liked to follow commands. He strived for the older man’s approval and it wasn’t long before Tony wanted to be the only one keeping the man’s six. When Vivian Blackadder had joined the team, Tony struggled with having to share Gibbs. Luckily for him, the woman’s incompetence had made it unnecessary for him to worry about her being his competition. And over the years he’d had to learn to deal with new team members, carefully disguising his eagerness to please his Boss as fear for his sternness instead of jealousy towards the others. He loved Kate, Tim and Ziva but the love he felt for Gibbs reached a whole new level.

It killed him to know that he’d never be the only one, but he had been forced to deal with it for years so he’d gotten quite good at hiding his emotions under a dazzling smile.

The fact that Gibbs doesn’t know him enough to see through that cover, hurts him more than he’d imagined it would. Apparently he’s gotten so good at it that no one really knows the real Tony anymore. It makes him realize that this was a mistake; how can Gibbs know the extent to which Tony loves him if he hadn’t even realized his Senior Agent is gay â€" and in love with him at that.

“This was a mistake.â€� Tony doesn’t recognize his own voice â€" it’s tight with tension. Gibbs’ brow furrows. “Shouldn’t that be my line?â€� he grins, carefully checking Tony’s reaction for the real emotion hidden behind the mask that is Anthony DiNozzo. Tony doesn’t return Gibbs’ smile and breaks the eye contact between them, instantly feeling the loss. He moves to enlarge the distance between them when Gibbs grabs him by the wrist and tugs him against his chest. “What’s wrong?â€� he whispers in Tony’s ear.

Tony shivers when he hears Gibbs’ voice and fights the urge to press himself closer to the other man. He gently pushes Gibbs away but he can’t bring himself to get his hands of his Boss’ chest. “I don’t need to be cuddled Gibbs, I’d rather you go right now if you’re not planning to stay anyway.�

He diverts his eyes from Gibbs’ intense blue ones, swallowing hard when Gibbs keeps his gaze trained on him. Finally Gibbs looks away and brushes past Tony, stroking his shoulder softly in the process. He doesn’t expect his Boss to stay, he wouldn’t want him to stay out of pity. And yet, he can’t keep the tears from welling up when he hears the front door being shut. He brushes them away, blinking angrily. DiNozzo men don’t cry. He’s so absorbed in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the knocking at his door.

The sound finally registers when the lock on his door is picked and Gibbs walks in again, hesitantly standing there. Tony looks at him and his breath stutters as he watches the expression on the Marine’s face. He’s seriously pissed. Gibbs’ eyes lock on Tony’s and he slams the door shut, striding over to Tony in a few deliberate steps.

Apparently, Gibbs’ orgasm-induced haze has just lifted and what just happened has finally registered in his foggy mind. It doesn’t look like he’s all too happy about it.

Tony opens his mouth to apologize but no sound comes out. He doesn’t know what he should be apologizing for exactly, but staying quiet seems worse than being weak. Gibbs breaks the awkward silence.

“I know I don’t have the right to be jealous, I know what I said before. But.. damned!� he yells, grabbing Tony by the collar of his tshirt. “I want to be the only one you smile at like that!� he hisses before kissing Tony with a passion that makes him have to hold on to Gibbs to keep standing on his feet.


A/N: I just wanted to give you this, I’ll write more later today! Hope this reassures a few worried readers :D do you think Gibbs means what he says or is he temporarily blinded by Tony’s smile? ;)
BTW: how much did you guys love ‘Baltimore’?! :D

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews, they send me straight to my happy place! � now, without further ado, on with the show!
Chapter seven
Tony gasps against Gibbs’ lips, desperately trying to hold on to his last shred of dignity. “Gibbs…� he moans against the soft lips that are caressing his, his hands coming up to rest on Gibbs’ chest. He gently pushes the man away but doesn’t remove his hands, gripping Gibbs’ shoulders instead. He smiles at the other man, a real smile this time. Gibbs seems to notice the difference too and his pupils dilate in response. When he moves to kiss Tony again, the grip Tony has on Gibbs’ shoulder strengthens and he keeps his Boss at a safe distance. He manages to spot the flash of hurt in those intense blue eyes, before it’s covered up again.

“Gibbs..� he repeats. “I understand that you’re confused about all this, anyone would be after such an amazing blowjob.� His grin falters under Gibbs’ hard gaze. “I just mean that you can’t possibly have changed your mind in the minute it took you to leave and then barge in again. And I loved every second of it, but kissing me like this makes it incredibly hard for me to think of this as a one-time thing.�

Gibbs hands come up to encircle Tony’s wrists and he tugs him against his chest. “Didn’t you just hear what I said?â€� he growls. Tony sighs. “Yeah, you don’t want anyone else to see my amazing smile â€" he flashes his white teeth in a big smile â€" but the fact that you’re threatened by that idea, shows that you don’t really know me anymore. If you did, you’d know that smile is just a mask. And you are one of the very few I trust enough to let go of the mask. Hearing you say that you want me to be like that… it hurts. It’s like you’re asking me to be someone I can’t be. I’ve been there and I won’t go back, not even for you.â€� Tony pulls at his arms but the older man only holds him tighter.

“Sit down.� Gibbs pushes Tony towards the couch and sits next to him, keeping quiet until Tony shuffles awkwardly on the couch and glances in his direction before focusing his attention on his shoes.

“I knew.� Gibbs’ voice is husky and Tony shivers involuntarily. Then Gibbs’ words filter through and Tony frowns at his boss, trying to read what he knew exactly. Gibbs smirks at his expression and ruffles Tony’s hair, his soft smile never leaving his features. He looks years younger like this and Tony can’t help but take in the man next to him. Gibbs’ otherwise hardened expression now shows little wrinkles near his eyes and the corners of his mouth, a physical reminder from a time where Gibbs didn’t feel the need to wear a mask in front of other people. That’s when Tony realizes exactly how much they have in common. He’s not the only one pretending. Maybe they never gave each other the chance to really get to know the other.

“Yeah…â€� Gibbs whispers, once again seemingly reading Tony’s mind. “Tony, the last person to see me laughing unguardedly was Shannon. When I lost her, I was devastated. It’s no secret that I tried to replace her multiple times, and that I failed at every single one of those attempts. I was always caught up in work, chasing bad guys and sleeping at the office until I had closed the case. And it drove my ex-wives crazy, but ultimately, every single marriage failed because I refused to let them take down the walls I had built around myself â€" all the while glorifying everything about Shannon until no one could compete with that image anymore and they just left me alone. I thought that was what I preferred. But along the way I started to notice that your smile would make my day more bearable, that I started to look forward to your ramblings because they lightened the mood, and I found myself seeking your company. That’s when I knew that you were going to mean more to me than any of my ex-wives did, that maybe it would be okay, even with Shannon gone, because I had you as my friend. I’ve thought of you as a friend for years… what?â€�

Gibbs frowns at Tony, unsure as to why his agent is staring at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Do you know how much you just said? I don’t think I’ve heard you say that much in all the years we’ve worked together. Oh my god, you always smack me on the head because I ramble. Maybe I should smack you!� Tony laughs nervously.

“Tony�, Gibbs sighs, “you’re doing it right now. What’s wrong?�

Gibbs was prepared for a lot of things, but not for this. Tony starts crying. He stares at his younger agent, frozen on the spot. Tony’s bottom lip trembles slightly and he looks Gibbs in the eyes, letting all emotion show in his. “You just said it, you’ve seen me as a friend for years. And now you know and I’ve ruined everything�, he lets out a heartbreaking sob and Gibbs wants to kiss the tears of his cheeks there and then. “That’s not what I was going to say, you idiot�, he brings his hand up to the back of Tony’s head, and then strokes his hair softly, smiling at the way Tony instinctively cringes and then visibly relaxes under his touch.

“What I was going to say�, Gibbs stresses the words as he takes Tony’s hand in his, “is that my view on things changed when you pulled me out of that river. I haven’t told anyone this but I saw them, I saw my girls that day.� Tony gasps, but keeps quiet. Gibbs takes it as a sign that he can go on. “The urge to go with them was so incredibly strong, but something in me was holding me back, and they were telling me that it was okay to stay here. At that moment I didn’t know why, but I thought of you, and suddenly I wanted to stay. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I chose life over my memories of the girls. It was like I could see things from another point of view and it suddenly seemed so obvious. That the friendship you had been giving me wasn’t what pulled me through, it was the realization that finally I found myself close to someone, without feeling the overwhelming urge to push them away.� Gibbs hesitates. “It scared the crap outta me�, he whispers. “I hid behind rule twelve and you being a man, but I just didn’t know how to handle it. I had been trying to move on for so long, and now I didn’t seem to want to let Shannon and Kelly go. So I bolted. I shut myself off from you and refused to face what was happening. And when we were at the safe house and you told me about your feelings, I couldn’t handle it. I hadn’t even found the courage to admit it to myself and there you were, claiming a part of my life like you had been doing since we met, only now it seemed to mean so much more. I was ready to deny everything and wait for you to get over me so I wouldn’t have to face things anymore. But as soon as left earlier, I finally realized what I was about to throw away, so I came back. And I don’t expect you to keep smiling like DiNozzo the womanizer does, I just love seeing you smile because that smile alone makes my day every time I see it.�

When he looks up at Tony, the younger man looks unusually composed with an unreadable expression on his face and he’s observing Gibbs calmly. “Are you done?� he asks quietly, the rough edge in his voice the only betrayal of the underlying emotion. Gibbs stares at him for a moment and then nods, taking his hand as Tony stands up from the couch and offers it to him.

Tony pulls Gibbs with him towards a door that’s standing ajar. He kicks it open and roughly pulls at Gibbs’ hand. Gibbs is barely able to register that they’re in the bedroom before he finds himself pushed on the bed and straddled by Tony. The younger man grabs his hands, pins them above his head with one hand and backs up a little to look at him. Gibbs shivers under Tony’s gaze and arches his back, craving more contact but not attempting to fight for dominance. Tony kisses his way over Gibbs’ throat, along his neck to his ear, which he bites and sucks softly until Gibbs is squirming under him and gasping with every touch. Tony grins and rubs their erections together, reveling in the loud moan coming from the man under him.

“I could go on about how much I love you but I’ve waited long enough, too long. I want you. Now.�

Gibbs is amazed by how easily Tony says those words. His hands fall to Tony’s hips and he forces his groin against Tony’s, fisting the younger man’s shirt to keep from losing control. He cups the back of Tony’s neck, pulling him down for a heated kiss that quickly has them both gasping for air. He rips Tony’s shirt open and caresses the toned chest underneath, slowly going down and following the line of his boxers with the tip of his index finger. He quickly unbuckles Tony’s belt, pulls the zipper down and swallows hard when he notices Tony’s boxers are already wet with precum. He pulls the boxers down just enough to free Tony’s rock hard cock and flicks his thumb across the head, smiling when Tony’s breath hitches. With newfound confidence he grips the erection a little tighter and starts to stroke it at a torturously slow pace, rubbing precum across the tip with every few strokes and palming his balls through Tony’s jeans. After a while, Tony is moaning constantly and he grips Gibbs’ hands tightly. “You’re gonna make me come if you keep doing that.�

Tony takes in a shaky breath as Gibbs’ piercing blue gaze settles on him, and for a moment he worries the older man is going to run off. “Do it, I want you to… you know…� Gibbs is horrified when he realizes he’s blushing. Marines don’t blush, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry, what?� Tony laughs. “Was that a secret code or something because I didn’t exactly understand that.�

Gibbs grabs Tony’s hand and presses it against his own cock, bucking up to let Tony feel the effect he has on him. “Fuck me, now!� he growls as if daring Tony to say no. Tony whimpers and palms Gibbs erection through his pants. “You sure?� he whispers. Gibbs nods without hesitation. “Gimme some of that DiNozzo-magic� he smiles broadly. Seeing Gibbs smile like that almost makes Tony come on the spot and he leans down to kiss the older man, losing himself in the taste of those soft lips. He slowly undresses Gibbs, taking his shirt off first and kissing every piece of skin he uncovers. He unfastens Gibbs’ jeans and moves off of Gibbs body to kiss his legs, starting at his knees and softly scraping his teeth across the tender flesh when he moves towards Gibbs’ impressive length. He softly sucks at his balls and licks the underside of his dick while his hands keep caressing his thighs.

Gibbs moans hard and fists the bedcovers to keep from forcing his cock deeper between Tony’s lips. When Tony sucks at the tip of his dick and then sinks down, taking in most of its length, Gibbs almost forgets how to breathe. Then he feels a slick finger softly stroking his hole â€" when did Tony grab lube? â€" and he holds his breath, waiting for the pain to come. But it doesn’t, and he hears himself exhaling hard when he feels a pleasurable tingle start where the tip of Tony’s finger gently enters him. He can’t concentrate on the intrusion as Tony keeps sucking and licking his cock, expertly driving him nuts.

Tony releases his cock, adds a second and then a third finger and kisses Gibbs’ stomach and legs. Then he glances at Gibbs, satisfied to see him in a haze of lust, his eyes glazed over and his kiss-swollen lips slightly parted. “he lies between Gibbs’ legs and starts licking his cock again. “Ready?� he asks. “Ready for wh- FUCK!� Gibbs yells as Tony takes in his entire length and angles one of his fingers so that it brushes what he guesses is his prostate. He bucks off the mattress and Tony starts to lick him almost obscenely, lapping his tongue over Gibbs’ cockhead and then sucking it lightly. Gibbs grabs Tony by his hair and yanks him off his cock, forcing back the need to come down Tony’s throat. “Please, take me!� he groans, pressing his body against Tony’s.

“Please? Did you just say please?� Tony snorts. He crawls closer to Gibbs, coming up to sit on his knees. He grabs Gibbs’ hips and yanks them towards him, finding it increasingly difficult to take things slowly. He places a pillow under the other man’s hips and lifts Gibbs’ left leg over his arm. He grips his own cock with the other hand and softly caresses Gibbs’ ass with it before placing himself against his hole and pushes gently. Gibbs holds his breath and exhales when he feels Tony’s cockhead entering him. Tony pauzes and then inches further in Gibbs’ tight ass, biting back a groan at the heat that surrounds him. Just a few more inches.

Tony holds Gibbs’ gaze. “You’re mine now, got it?� he growls, not prepared to see Gibbs walk out the door one more time. But this time there’s no hesitation in the older man’s clear blue eyes as he nods. At that, Tony bottoms out in one movement and moans loudly, gripping Gibbs’ legs to keep himself from coming. He waits, carefully listening to Gibbs’ breathing to check for any discomfort. He slowly inches out and then moves back in, going out a bit further every time until he can enter Gibbs’ tight hole in one single move.

“You’re so tight, I can’t wait to come inside you.� Tony pants as he lifts Gibbs’ leg a bit higher so he can go deeper.

He changes his angle and rubs Gibbs’ prostate, reveling in Gibbs’ moans. “Want…more…� Gibbs forces the words out of his throat, barely able to force down the pleas and moans.

Tony pulls out almost entirely and then plunges back in, hard, moaning at the feeling of his balls rubbing against Gibbs’ ass. He sets a rapid pace, bottoming out every time and hitting Gibbs’ prostate as many times as possible. He slows down for a moment and reaches behind them until he finds the bottle of lube. He squirts a generous amount in his hand and then he resumes the pace, now also jerking Gibbs off in a tight wet fist.

It’s only a few seconds before Gibbs stiffens in his grasp, throws his head back and yells Tony’s name, squirting his seed over his chest and Tony’s hand. Tony keeps jacking him off, enjoying how sensitive Gibbs has become to his touch. He tightens until Tony thinks he’s losing his mind, and he shoots his seed deep down Gibbs’ ass. “Ahhh, Jethro�, he groans as he moves in and out a couple more times before his arms give way and he slumps down on Gibbs’ body.

The only sound in the room is the labored breathing from both men. Neither of them speaks and when finally Tony stops feeling like his heart’s going to jump out of his chest at any moment, he carefully pulls out and disappears in the adjoining bathroom for a moment, coming back with a damp washcloth. He cleans both of them up with a soft smile on his lips and then throws an arm across Gibbs’ chest, nestling his head against the other man’s chest. He lets out a satisfied moan when Gibbs holds him tighter and kisses his forehead.

“Get some sleep, or your Boss will be pissed if you fall asleep at the office again.� Gibbs murmurs against Tony’s skin, smiling when Tony snorts. “It’s his fault, he shouldn’t have exhausted me in the first place…� he doesn’t hear Gibbs’ answer anymore as he’s already drifting to sleep.

“I love you too.�


A/N: Sooo, I know this was kind of explicit, hope it made up for the long wait. I think there will be one or two more chapters after this one, handling with the case and the team. Hope you liked it, thanks again for the feedback! X