Title: Sometimes You Do Get Your Hearts Desire
Fandom: Television
Genres: Pre-Slash, Family
Warnings: Family, Genre - Preslash, m/m, Romance
Parings: Leroy Jethro Gibbs/Anthony DiNozzo
Ratings: FRT Young Teen

Disclaimer: Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross, To see a fine lady upon a white horse. Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, She shall have music wherever she goes. AND I still won't own anything N.C.I.S. The boys are theirs but Michael is mine.

Summary: Sometimes, when it looks the darkest you get your heart's desire. Tony's past comes at him full force and he needs Jethro to get through it to the happy ending that awaits.

It had been a rough few days and Tony was taking a well-deserved rest while waiting for Ziva and McGee to bring back lunch. Gibbs was with Abby, which was how he was able to take the breather he was now enjoying. He heard a cleared throat and looked up. "Can I help you?"

"Are you Anthony DiNozzo?" the man asked.

Tony looked him over before answering. He was a well-dressed, obviously cultured, man. "As I said how can I help you... who are you?"

"If you are Anthony DiNozzo I am prepared to answer all your questions, however I am precluded by confidentiality to disclose who I am and why I am here to anyone else but Mr. DiNozzo" the man continued.

"Well I'm Tony DiNozzo so start talking. Who are you and what do you want with me?" Tony said his voice tight, knowing in his gut this man would change his life forever.

"Is there a place where we can talk privately?"

"Sure follow me" and Tony led him to Interrogation Room 1. Opening the door he indicated the man should sit in the chair across from him and he took a seat. "So Mr..... so what's so secret you need to be in this private room?"

Putting his briefcase on the table, and opening it he took out his file folder and opened it. "Mr. DiNozzo" he said looking up from the papers. "My name is Stanley Sanders and I am an attorney. Do you remember a young woman named Jeanne Benoit?"

Now there was a blast from the past, and not a very good one either. "Why do you need to know?" Tony asked cautiously.

"Come now Mr. DiNozzo I don't have all day and I believe I have important news for you concerning Dr. Benoit" the man said curtly.
"Ok, ok yes I know Jeanne, now why do you need to know?" Tony again demanded.

"I am the attorney handling Dr. Benoit's estate and I have a letter she left for you. Considering the delicate nature of the letter, I needed to ascertain you were in fact the Anthony DiNozzo I was looking for" Sanders said handing the letter to Tony. "Please read this it will explain why I am here. Then I will answer any questions you might have."

Tony took the letter, opened it and began reading:

Tony; if you are reading this then I have died and the secret I have been keeping from you can no longer be kept. Mr. Sanders is there to bring you your son. I swear Tony I did not know I was pregnant at the time I let, however I do not think it would have mattered. I still would have left. Since you never came looking for me I assume you made your choice. I am sending our son to you because there is no one else I can give him to. My father is dead and neither my Mother nor I desire him to be raised by her. You may have been playing me to get to my father but I do believe you have a caring heart and would raise Michael Thomas to be a fine man. I am sorry to drop this all on you but I really have no other choice.
~Jeanne

Tony looked at the man sitting impassively at the table. "What happened to Jeanne?" Tony asked quietly.

"She was killed in an automobile accident last week, by a drunk driver. As she directed we read her will as soon as we were notified of her death, and in it there was the latter addressed to you" Sanders said
nodding his head toward Tony and the letter. "Naturally we made all due haste to resolve this matter as quickly as possible. I have Michael Thomas with me, well actually he is at the hotel with my assistant, and I have all the paperwork you need to sign to take custody of your son."

"Wait... just wait a minute. Why am I just finding out now and getting custody?" Tony asked.

"I don't know" Mr. Sanders replied. I only know she left instructions that the infant be brought to you in case of her death, and I have done so. I will turn him over to you and return to LA in the morning."

"Wait... wait how am I just supposed to take a child into my life. How old is he anyway?"

"The child is two months old" came the dry unemotional reply.

Tony became incensed "THE CHILD has a name. What is it?" he asked letting the anger and confusion he felt come to the top.

"His name is Michael Thomas Benoit, although you might want to change his last name. Now if you'll follow me to my hotel I will turn him over to you."
He had to think, he couldn't just take this child into his life and let him turn it upside down... could he? He had never thought he's have a child and definitely not with the undercover mark he had fallen in love with. "What happens if I don't take him?"

"Then I return him to California and he becomes a ward of the state" Sanders said in his still emotionless dry tone.

His tone caused Tony to shiver, he couldn't let a child of his be raised in foster care. "I will come and take him but I need to get something's first. What hotel are you staying at?"

"I am at the Hay Adams penthouse suite. Please come as soon as you can Mr. DiNozzo, the child in interfering with my Assistants work" and with that parting comment he left.

Tony quickly exited the room and asked the guard standing outside to escort Mr. Sanders out of the building. Then he returned to the interrogation room and fell into the chair head in hands
wondering what to do now.

What he didn't know was Gibbs had seen the two men head to the room initially and had followed them. His first thought was to insure Tony's safety. At the mention of Benoit's name he decided to stay in order to make sure nothing bad was going to happen to his agent As a result of
their former Director's obsession with René Benoit... La Grenouille. As soon as Tony returned to the room alone Jethro hurried to it. Tony was going to need him and he intended to be there for him, just as Tony had always been there for him. Opening the door he said "Tony? You ok?"

"I don't know Boss, I don't know. Jeanne's attorney was just here" he looked up at Jethro's face his full of pain. "She's dead Boss, I thought I had gotten over her but I guess not. It hurts ya know that she's dead. Like it's the final death knell on the relationship we could have had."

Gibbs could hear the anguish in the young man's voice. "But you have a son out of it Tony and he is coming to live with you."

"Yeah a son... Boss how did you know I mean did Jeanne get in touch with you or the director or something?"

"No Tony nothing like that. I was in the observation room and heard him tell you." At the upward snap of Tony's head he quickly added "I didn't intend to listen to your conversation. Initially I just wanted to make sure you were safe. But when I heard Jeanne's name I had to stay to make
sure nothing of that fiasco was coming at you again" Gibbs said hopping his look said enough.

"Oh um ok. Boss?" Tony looked at Gibbs with a little boy lost look in his eyes. "What do I do now? I mean I don't know anything about baby's, I don't even have a place for him to sleep. What do I do now?"

Gibbs stood tall and lifted Tony's face up to look at his. "Well here's what you are going to do. First you are going to a baby store, I will text you the address of a good one. Then you are going to buy everything I tell you to get on the list I am also going to test you. Then you are going to the Hay Adams and get your son. You will them bring everything, all the stuff from the store, and Michael to my house were we are going to settle in for a least a week."

"We are… I mean I am? What are you going to do Boss" Tony asked in awe of how quickly Gibbs had settled everything and calmed his fears.

"I am going to go to the Director and ask for the next 7 days off for both of us. I'm going to have to tell him why but that'll be ok. Then I am going home and bring all the baby furniture down from the attic and place it into the second bedroom. Then make us some dinner so we can sit
down an plan a little further. Now let's go get that boy of yours."

While Tony was getting everything put away in preparation to leave Gibbs made a list for Tony: Diapers lots, bottles, formula (ask a sales rep for the best kind), baby powder, a car seat (ask the sales rep to help you install it, a baby monitor, about 20 little sleepers (the sales rep will have an idea of the best size), 5 baby blankets and a bassinet mattress. Then he added the name and address of the closest baby store and left to talk to the Director.

It was about three hours when a much frazzled DiNozzo opened the door and came in with a baby who was crying furiously. "I don't know what to do Boss. He started crying almost as soon as I got him into the car and nothing I have been able to do has stopped it."

Gibbs thought Tony looked like he was about to cry to. Taking the baby, still in his car seat, Gibbs sat the car seat on the coffee table and began to free Michael from it. As soon as he did, he realized what the problem was. "Well Tony I think Michael here is throwing you into the deep end of the parenting pool... and quickly too. He has poop all over him, and needs a bath. Come on Michael let's get you a nice warm bath. DiNozzo bring the diapers, and a little sleeper and follow me. Gibbs enjoyed Michael's bath. Michael enjoyed Michael's bath. Tony did not enjoy Michael's bath. Gibbs told Tony put everything he had next to the changing table in the guest room and follow him to the bathroom. He placed as towel down on the sink then placed Michael gently on
the towel. He tickled the baby's tummy to entertain him until Tony appeared. "Ok Tone first adjust the water temperature. Use your elbow to make sure it's not too hot or cold, it should be about body temperature. Then put one of those washcloths in the bottom of the sink and let it fill. Now the sink is full come over here and remove Michael's clothes. It's probably best if you take another washcloth and kinda get him clean a little."

Tony looked at Michael, the mess and smell and said "you have got to be kidding me." Seeing the ‘do I look like I’m kidding’ look on Gibbs face he knew he wasn't. Looking down at Michael he said "ok little man let's
get this done as it looks like big bad Uncle Gibbs isn't going to help. Man how can such a little guy make such a big mess and smell so bad?"

Jethro continued on with the washing up instructions and soon a drenched Tony had Michael clean. Dressed and ready for a bottle, Jethro showed Tony how to make a bottle and heat it. Telling Tony "don't heat the bottle in the microwave. The formula will heat unevenly and become too hot." He showed Tony how to determine it the bottle was the right temperature and followed him into the living room to sit on the couch at one end while Tony sat at the other feeding Michael. "So tell me
Tony how do you feel about all of this."

"Not sure Boss. If you'd asked me an hour ago I'd have said not good at all. But now sitting here like this... even with my soaked Boss slacks soaked… I'd say everything I have had to do or will ever have to do is worth whatever it takes. Was it like this for you with Kelly?" Tony realized he had gone where they had always never tread and tried to back track "sorry Gibbs didn't mean to ask that just forget I said anything."

"No Tony it's ok. You deserve an answer to that question. Before Kelly was born both Shannon and I were a nervous wreck. Me more so than Shannon, she had a younger brother and sister so she had some experience with children. As you know I'm an only child. I had been in Columbia
and didn't get back until Kelly was about eight hours old. By the time I got there, Shannon was an old hand but me? I panicked when she had me sit down and put Kelly in my arms. I was terrified but Kelly looked up at me with those clear blue eyes and I was a gonner... just like you. I'd have
done anything for her" his voice faded to a soft whisper as the memories encroached.

Tony waited for a little bit not wanting to intrude but not wanting Gibbs to become entrapped in his memories either. "Boss... um Boss the little guy's done what do I do now?"

Gibbs shook himself out of the past and turned to Tony "first of all at home I'm neither Gibbs nor Boss. Call me Jethro. As for what's next let's see if we can put little Michael her down to sleep. Then maybe we can get some dinner and make more plans."

"Ok Bos... um Jethro? Nope can't do it. Can't call you Jethro with a straight face. Umm Jeth… nope not gonna work either. Jet no that reminds me of Peter Paul and Mary." Looking at the scowl on Gibbs face he quickly went on "I guess I could do J no LJ yeah that's it LJ. That work for you?"

"Sounds like you've thought of this before. But I can live with LJ can you live with Tone?" LJ asked him.

"Yeah sounds like we both have put some thought into this. Now about putting Michael somewhere to sleep?"

"I brought the cradle down so let's put him in there. When he gets a little bigger we can move him into the crib. We'll need to get a new mattress for it but we can do that later as well." He kept up a steady stream of talk as grabbed all the baby gear and went up stairs to the room he now thought of as Tony and Michael's, although if he had his way it wouldn't have been Tony's much longer. 'Stop it' he told himself. 'Tony is a friend and you are just helping him out until he can take care of the baby on his own. He isn't interested in you he's straight as an arrow remember?'

They ate a dinner of spaghetti and what passed as red sauce for Gibbs.

"Tomorrow night I'm cooking Bos... I mean LJ. Then you'll see real red sauce." Later they continued their conversation and came to some decisions not the least of which was Tony's answer to "I really think you and Michael should move in here. I mean I have plenty of room for both of you and then you would have help with Michael too. What cha think?"

Tony's answer had been a grateful "yes." Everything continued on shaky grounds until two nights later the house of cards came tumbling down.

LJ was in the basement working on the boat giving Tony a little time to solve the crisis himself. Gibbs knew he had been rushing in a little too soon and it was causing Tony to doubt his ability to care for Mikey. Of course Gibbs had his baby monitor attached to his belt so he heard
Tony's cry of desperation and Mikey's increased frustration and ran up the stairs two at a time to find Tony sitting in a heap on the floor crying holding a crying Michael. "Tone? What's wrong?"

In between hick ups Tony said "he hates me... every time I try to comfort him he stiffens up and starts crying and he won't stop. He hates me."

"Tone" Jethro said "he doesn't hate you. He hasn't known you long enough to hate you. Look how long I've known you and I don't hate you and we all know I hate everyone" LJ added trying to make light of the situation.

"Well he hates me, I can't ever get him to stop crying all I ever seem able to do is make him cry louder."

Jethro knew it was time for the big guns. Shannon had used this on him when he was in the same mind set and it had worked. Walking over to the rocking chair, he sat down and held out a hand to Tony. "Mere Tone" he said quietly. "You and Mikey come here." When Tony was standing in front of him he said "sit down, yeah sit on my lap and hold Mikey." After he got them both situated with his arm wrapped around Tony he began to rock all three of them. Within a few minutes, Tony was relaxing into Jethro's shoulder and Mikey was drifting off to sleep.

Tony held on to Michael but also snuggled down further into LJ so that his head was nestled on Jethro's shoulder. A short while Jethro startled awake realizing they had all three fallen asleep. Settling himself deeper into the rocking chair he turned to look at Tony as the younger man
sighed and nuzzled his neck. Unable to resist he gave the young man a kiss on his forehead. As soon as Jethro's lips hit Tony's forehead he froze in horror. What had he done he thought, he hopped Tony was still asleep and wouldn't know anything. He knew Tony didn't have any feelings for him other than friendship making this a gigantic mistake. Pulling back, he saw the most beautiful green eyes staring at him. "CRAP" he said "look Tony I'm really sorry... I mean I know you don't swing that way. Ahh look it won't happen again, I promise. Just tell me you won't move out with Michael... I promise it won't happen again."

"Who are you and what have you done with my Gibbs? I mean LJ. Stop just stop, what if I want it to happen again? What if I do swing that way? What if I want more?" Tony asked him his eyes never leaving the heated blue ones.

"Do you?" Jethro asked and he held his breath for an answer.

"Yes to all three LJ yes" then Tony leaned in and kissed LJ's temple. As he did he felt Michael squirm as they had had crushed him a little between their bodies.

Jethro caressed Tony's cheek "go Tone put Mikey in bed and come with me we need to talk." Jethro waited until Tony stood then he got up and headed toward his bedroom. Gibbs went to sit in the rocking chair that had always been in this room as well. He wondered where this was all going to lead… but he had hop it would lead where he had wanted it to go from the first time he had seen almost four years ago. Sensing Tony had come to the door he looked up and reached out a hand "come Tone, come and sit with me."

Tony walked over to the rocking chair and sat on Jethro's lap facing him resting his knees on either side of Jethro's hip. It might not be the most comfortable way to sit in a rocker but he needed to watch LJ's face. "Ok it's your turn speak to me. Tell me what you are thinking."

“Well I guess I should get the most obvious out of the way first. You obviously didn't know I was bi and I didn't know you were either" Jethro said with a calmness he didn't necessarily feel. "I think if I had known I might have tried a little harder to find out how you felt about me and if you were interested I'd have pushed a little... no make that a lot harder."

"I think" Tony said "I would have definitely pushed harder. What does it say about our investigative skills that we didn't figure it out before this?"

"I don't think it says as much to our investigative skills as it does to our life experiences. I mean with three ex-wives under my belt and a father like yours we're lucky we even got here. But I don't want to dwell on why we shouldn't have gotten here I want to talk about what we do now.
You said you were interested, what ... what do you want from me?"

Tony looked at the cerulean blue eyes and fell into them wanting to lock his green ones so tight they fused, to make Jethro understand he was telling the absolute truth. "I want to see if we can have a relationship, a family for Michael. Three days ago I couldn't see either of you in my life, now I can't imagine my life without either of you. Your patience at teaching me how to take care of Michael, the way you have taken care of me all of it has made everything I feel for you fill my soul. I know this has been hard for you with Kelly and Shannon. That you have really never seen yourself in the light of family again, but I'd like to try. I know I'll never take Shannon's place and Michael will never take Kelly's and that as it should be. We can however, make a new family, a companion family."

Jethro was amazed by the maturity and depth of Tony's feelings. "You're right Tony I haven't thought about a family in a very long time. I realized today when you were trying to comfort Mikey that I was wrong. When I remembered how Shannon had taught me to comfort Kelly I realized all those memories were there for me to use now. To share them with you and Mikey and to make new ones. You know I don't believe in pre-destination but maybe this once Shannon has been keeping me moving along until I met you, until Mikey came into our lives. By the way how did Mikey come into our lives?"

"You remember Madam Director making the comment 'you aren't supposed to fall in love with them'? As you know, she was talking about Jeanne. It seems, according to the letter the attorney gave to me, that Jeanne found out she was pregnant about a month after she left. Just long enough to know I wasn't going to choose her and her father was dead. When she talked to her mother she discovered her mother wasn't interested in anything that might jeopardize her career. Jeanne then contacted the attorney and had a will drawn up giving me custody of Michael Thomas Benoit if anything should happen to her. Little did she know that less than two months after Michaels birth she would be hit by a drunk driver and killed. So Mr. Sanders showed up at N.C.I.S. looking for me to give me the news and my son. Jethro I didn't know she was pregnant, I wonder if Jenny did but of course I can't ask her now. If I had I known would have either convinced her to come back here or I would have moved out to LA. I would have taken care of her and my son. I would have stepped up."

Jethro reached out and caressed Tony's cheek "I know you would, I know. The thing is we have him now and we can make a good life for him. A life full of love, and laughter."

"AND movies, LJ don't forget the movies."

"I won't forget the movies if you don't forget the boat. He has to learn to work on the boat."

Jethro continued rocking Tony and rubbing small circles in his back. Tony continued to lay his head on LJ's shoulder and enjoy the moment in time they were experiencing. Michael slept for about two more hours until he demanded attention. Apparently, he demanded both of them because he wasn't satisfied until they were both in the room. Having both his father's around him at the same time became an obsession with Michael. One he never really grew out of.

AND the rocking chair? Oh that was a family secret. By the end of that first week they had additional rockers in the living room, and two in the den to add to the one in Mikey's room and the one in theirs. The rocking chairs were where they always went for comfort. The one on the bottom was
the one giving the comfort and the one sitting in the other's lap was getting comforted. It was something they depended on and thanked Shannon for introducing them too often.
^-^ ^-^ ^-^
A/N Baby Michael was named Michael Thomas for two reasons. One Michael is obviously for Michael Weatherly. The Thomas is actually Mark Harmon's first name. My homage to my favorite N.C.I.S. characters.

There is more to be written about LJ, Tone and Michael not the least of which is Little Bunny Foo Foo.