Promises



He promises himself this is the last time. Just like he promised the last time, and just like he’ll promise after the next time. The bed whines and creaks with each shove. Tony wonders if one night the bed will fall apart; the footboard, headboard, and the mattress falling to the floor with a crash. Maybe he’ll fall apart before the bed does. The room is dark, but a streetlight outside creates shadows that seem to watch the two men on the bed. He grips the smooth wood on his headboard and lets out a desperate whisper.

"Faster."

Hands clench tighter on his waist and Tony gets his wish. The man busy sinking into his body speeds up. Tony closes his eyes, ashamed of the need that thrums through his body. Sex with Gibbs is always intense. There is nothing in the world like it.

Tony hisses in pleasure when Gibbs reaches around and grips his cock. The touch is merciless as it pumps him in rhythm to the thrusts that are driving into his body. Soft, barely heard mutters spill from Gibbs’ mouth and Tony tries to concentrate on what he’s saying. The words disappear into the hot air before he can catch them. He grips the headboard tighter as if it’s the only thing keeping him anchored to the bed. Behind him, Gibbs shifts, and now each thrust strikes off sparks behind Tony’s eyelids.

Tony squawks in surprise when Gibbs pulls out. He turns his head and opens his eyes, but the look he receives makes the protest die in his throat. Seconds later Gibbs has him on his back, Tony’s legs over his shoulders. Lean hands hold onto his upper thighs. Now Tony has nothing to hold onto and he needs something, anything so he doesn’t fly into a million pieces. He closes his eyes and grips his sheets.

"Open your eyes."

He obeys the command before he can even think about it. Blue eyes full of hunger look into his, and Tony wonders what Gibbs sees. Do they reflect the craving need that makes his body shudder with pleasure? Through the sparse lighting Tony can see Gibbs above him, his hair damp with sweat, muscles flexing as he fucks Tony.

"Jerk yourself off."

The order clears away some of the fog from Tony’s brain. His right hand lets go of the sheets and flicks one of his own nipples before sliding over damp skin to his cock. He can’t read the look in Gibbs’ eyes but it doesn’t matter. Every thrust, every slam into his body, is hitting that sweet spot, and Tony knows he’s got seconds before he comes. He can try and hold off but he’s greedy and he’s never been one to deny himself gratification.

Gibbs’ hand shoots out and squeezes the base of Tony’s cock. Tony shakes his head and moans. The smile Gibbs gives him has a cruel twist to it. For a moment Tony’s hand on his cock is joined by Gibbs’ hand, and Tony gasps at the sensation. Gibbs lets go and holds onto his legs again. Through all the feelings bombarding his body Tony realizes Gibbs thumbs are gently circling around and around on his thighs. It feels weird, like something Gibbs would never do.

A hard shove into his body makes Tony cry out, and Gibbs likes it because he does it again and again. He never lets Tony catch his breath, and Tony can only make involuntary grunts. Meaty smacks of Gibbs hips against his ass echo around the room. Gibbs nods at him and Tony doesn’t have to ask what it means. He pulls on his cock, his hand almost a blur and seconds later come shoots out of his cock to land on his chest. Pleasure and a dark hint of pain flow through him, intermingled, until he can’t tell the difference.

Tony narrows his eyes and watches Gibbs speed up. His body is sated and he wants to sleep. The fast stutter of Gibbs hips tell Tony he’s coming and he watches as Gibbs turns and rests his forehead against Tony’s ankle. His eyes close for a moment before he withdraws and pulls Tony’s legs off his shoulders.

Tony stretches and turns on his side. He looks at the man lying next to him and resists the urge to touch Gibbs’ sweaty back. The other man is on his stomach, his face turned towards Tony, one hand under his head. With his eyes closed and face relaxed, Gibbs doesn’t look like he’d harm a fly.

"This is the last time."

Gibbs snorts.

"You’ve said that before, DiNozzo."

"I mean it this time."

"Yeah. So next time you invite me over for pizza and a movie I should turn you down? Or when you show up at my house, should I shut the door in your face?"

Tony frowns. He can barely make out the expression on Gibbs face but he’s not sure he wants to see it. He sounds angry.

"Why do you keep coming back, Boss?"

A short laugh is his answer.

"Are you serious? I don’t have to take you out to dinner. I don’t have to watch some chick flick I have no interest in, and I don’t have to apologize when work gets hectic."

"What about rule twelve?"

"Were not dating, DiNozzo. It doesn’t apply."

Suddenly Gibbs sits up and leans over Tony, trapping him beneath his warm body.

"Do you actually think you’re the first man to come sniffing around me, Tony? The first one that wants me to fuck them so badly I can smell their desperation and fear?"

Tony shakes his head in denial, and Gibbs grabs a hold of his jaw. His voice is soft, almost gentle.

"You’re not. You’re not even the first to tell me it won’t happen again." Gibbs waits, his body pressing lightly into Tony’s.

"I’m telling the truth this time. I’m tired of this."

Gibbs sighs and stretches over to reach the small lamp sitting on a table next to Tony’s bed. The light barely breaks through the darkness that’s overtaken the rest of the room. Gibbs slides off him and lies next to him, a hand supporting his head and a patient look on his face.

"Tired of what, Tony? Getting laid? Telling yourself you don’t really enjoy getting fucked? Tired of sucking my cock? Because I have to tell you, you do a really good job. I mean, did you take a class or something? Or did you practice back in that prep school you went to?"

Tony sits up and turns away from Gibbs and his words. His feet are on the floor and he’s ready to go take a shower or do anything to get away from this conversation when Gibbs grabs his arm. Tony refuses to turn around.

"Come on, Tony. What do you mean by ‘this?’ I’m curious if you’ve even admitted the truth to yourself, much less if you have the balls to tell me."

Tony pulls away from Gibbs arm and turns around.

"I thought we were just letting off some steam. Fuck buddies don’t get into all this crap. Why are you saying all this stuff?"

Gibbs stands up, and the bed between them seems a mile wide.

"Because you’re not being honest, DiNozzo. We’ve been doing ‘this’ for three months and I’m getting tired of your nervous virgin act. Every time you tell me this is the last time or we shouldn’t be doing this. Every time! I’ve kept silent but that line has gotten so old I’m surprised it doesn’t turn to dust as soon as it comes out of your mouth. Why don’t you just admit you like it? Admit that ‘this’ is the best thing that’s ever happened to your sex life?"

Tony wishes Gibbs was shouting, but his voice is calm and confident. He sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. Tony figures he’s the reasonable one, the one with all the answers and the ability to stop their get-togethers, not Gibbs. He knows the ex-marine can see the sneer on his face.

"Best thing? Awfully big ego you got there." Gibbs walks around the bed and gets close enough that Tony can see the look on his face. Even though Gibbs’ voice sounds calm, the look on his face is saying something else. It’s saying Tony is about to get his ass kicked.

"Do you think I don’t hear you when I’m inside you? All the begging you do, the pleading? You don’t think I see how embarrassed it makes you, or the shame that flickers across your face when we’re done. Do you think I’m stupid?"

Tony wants this conversation over right now. He never wanted to have it and the sneaky way it just seemed to pop up is throwing him off balance.

"I never said you were stupid. I just want this to be over." He sits back down on the bed and jabs at the carpet with his feet. Gibbs sits next to him and places a hand on Tony’s knee.

"If I really believed that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation."

Suddenly Tony is tired and angry. This Gibbs is acting too rational. He wants the Gibbs that yells at him and makes snide remarks. That Gibbs never shows up when they’re having sex and Tony never stopped to question it.

"This conversation is over and I won’t be dropping by to see you or inviting you over here again." He starts to get up, but the grip Gibbs has on his knee tightens.

"What are you so afraid of Tony? Are you afraid that if you stop talking about all the pussy you get, someone will figure out the truth?"

Tony pulls at Gibbs’ hand, but it doesn’t budge from his knee. He stops and wipes his hand over his face.

"I’m not afraid of anything. Maybe I’m bored. Maybe I want to move on, you ever think of that?"

Tony waits for a reply, but the one he gets has him on the bed with Gibbs straddling his body.

"Get off me."

Gibbs leans in close, the smirk on his face promising Tony he won’t like what comes next.

"I can prove you’re not bored, Tony, right here, right now. How about it?"

Tony doesn’t reply and Gibbs gives him a look that goes past all the layers Tony wraps himself in. Tony jerks back from the kiss Gibbs gives him, but Gibbs just follows him and presses against his lips until Tony opens his mouth. They never kiss. It’s not something Tony was after when he started this and Gibbs never tried. The tongue invading his mouth and making itself at home causes Tony to press back, exploring Gibbs' mouth. The kiss is sloppy and they bump noses once or twice.

Gibbs pulls away and moves down Tony’s body until he reaches his reawakening cock. His hands grip Tony’s and keep them still next to Tony’s hips. Without warning Gibbs licks Tony into his mouth and starts to softly suck. Tony gasps and pulls against the hands holding his. Gibbs tightens his hold and sucks faster. The tongue bathing his cock with wet heat has him hard again in seconds. Gibbs stops sucking to lick and tease his balls before going back and sucking on his cock. Tony loses track of time. He sinks deep into the sensation of Gibbs licking and sucking him.

Tony murmurs a protest when Gibbs stops and raises up. He watches Gibbs prepare himself, slicking lube over the condom he slips on. He groans softly, all his attention on the hard cock that slides, thick and heavy, into his body. Gibbs thrusts and the rhythm he sets is unyielding. The shadows in the room paint Gibbs’ body, and Tony thinks he looks like a satyr he saw in a book once. The smile on Gibbs face only adds to his lustful look.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Tony shakes his head.

"Say it Tony. Tell me not to stop."

Tony stays silent until Gibbs pauses. Their breathing is loud and the only sound in the room. Tony licks his lips.

"Don’t. Stop. Please."

Gibbs speeds back up, his cock brushing over Tony’s prostate again and again.

"Tell me you like this Tony. Tell me you want it."

Tony nods his head. "Yes, I want it."

"Do you like what I’m doing? Tell me or I’ll stop."

Tony nods again and knows his movements look frantic, because if Gibbs stops, he’ll go insane, he knows it. His blood feels like it’s on fire and a tight knot of something curls up at the base of his spine.

Gibbs pushes his legs wider and jackhammers into his body. One hand strokes his dick and Tony opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

"Say it."

Tony swallows twice.

"I like it, I like it. Don’t ever stop. Oh god, I love it. I love you."

Tony cries out, a ragged sob that changes to a shout as his vision whites out. He feels like lightning is streaking through his body. He comes and it feels too good and Tony thinks he might die from the pleasure that inundates his body. From far away he hears Gibbs groan and his body stops moving.

Endless minutes or hours later, Gibbs pulls out and Tony turns over onto his side. He knows what he said, what he spouted out in that moment of unadulterated ecstasy. He flinches when Gibbs curls around his body, his hand lazily patting Tony’s stomach.

"I plan to hold you to your words, Tony."

"Great. That’s perfect. Just sign me up for the Gay man’s newsletter. Do I get to go and give fashion advice to some poor misguided straight man now?"

The hand rubbing his stomach stops. Gibbs pulls at him until Tony rolls over onto his back and glares at him. He wants this to be the ex-marine’s fault, but knows he’s been on this path since the moment he met Gibbs.

"Is that what this is about? You think you have to act a certain way now that you’ve admitted you like sleeping with men, with me?"

Tony stays silent but Gibbs is smart and reads the answer in his eyes. He sighs and rubs his hand over Tony’s chest. The touch feels like comfort and reassurance.

"That’s not true and you know it, Tony. You don’t have to subscribe to any stereotype. You can be who you want and act how you want."

Tony swallows the lump in his throat. "This is not how I see myself. I shouldn’t want you, but I can’t stop."

The smile Gibbs gives him makes him fall deeper, if that’s even possible.

"Would it help you to know I never expected to feel this way about you either? I’m a very stubborn man set in my ways, and you’re like this tornado that I know will twist every part of my life up and spit it out into something that will drive me crazy." Gibbs’ hands touch his neck and drift over his ear before sliding through his hair.

"But I’m okay with that, Tony. Know why?"

Tony shrugs. He tries to tell himself he doesn’t care.

"You’re worth it. It doesn’t matter what craziness you bring into my life. I want you."

Gibbs pulls the thin sheet over both their bodies. "Think about that, Tony and ask yourself if you deserve to be happy, to have what you want and not what people expect you to want."

Tony thinks about it. He doesn’t like not knowing the next step. With women it’s easy. Easy and boring his brain reminds him. That’s why his attention goes from one woman to the next, quicksilver fast. He sees no way out and even if he did, he wouldn’t take it. He wants Gibbs in every form, from angry, focused and stubborn to the rare smiles and sarcastic remarks. Tony senses something inside him lessen. A pressure he never acknowledged eases, and he feels like he can breathe for the first time since he set out to seduce his boss. One question is bothering him and Tony takes his newfound courage and just asks.

"Do you love me?"

Gibbs moves closer and kisses him deeply. Tony kisses him back and his body is telling him it’s tired but to keep going because this is incredible. Gibbs eases off the kiss and looks at him.

"If I didn’t love you I would have broken this off before now." Tony tries to smile but a yawn interrupts him and Gibbs pushes him towards the lamp.

"Turn off the lamp. We both need sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow."

Tony turns off the lamp and shifts around on the bed until he’s comfortable. He gets even more relaxed when Gibbs pulls him closer. He listens to Gibbs fall asleep and follows.

The End.