Tony heard his door open and continued washing dishes. He was almost done. His entire body felt wrong. His hands were cold underneath the warm water. He'd felt dizzy earlier, but that was gone. He could feel Gibbs behind him. He took a deep breath.

"I thought you weren't coming over tonight." His only answer was a hand smoothing his hair, brushing his neck. Gibbs opened the refrigerator. In the stark light Tony thought he still looked the same as the first day he'd met him. It'd been four years and the ex-marine was still handsome and his eyes still showed only what he wanted you to see.

"I think you know why I'm here, Tony."

Tony nodded and let the water out of the drain. He walked into his bedroom knowing Gibbs would follow. Inside, the king-sized bed he'd shared with Gibbs for over a year looked smaller than normal. He crossed his arms and leaned against his closet door.

"I followed you tonight. I wanted to see where you went, what you did."

Gibbs stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. He looked a lot more relaxed than Tony.

"I thought I saw you."

Tony noticed Gibbs was wearing different clothes than he'd seen him in earlier, in that warehouse. Gibbs noticed him looking.

"I burned the other clothes. I didn't plan on wearing them again."

Tony swallowed and tried not to think. He'd seen Gibbs. Seen him clear as he could in that barely lit warehouse shoot two men, dismember them, then… he had no clue because he'd left. But he knew routine when he saw it. Gibbs had done it all before.

"How long?"

Gibbs looked relaxed but his eyes told a different story. They held a wild light that reminded Tony of the suspects he was used to interviewing in a small room.

"Around ten years. All of them, they don't deserve to live. Some have been to jail repeatedly; others hurt kids and don't care. I've never killed an innocent person there."

Tony waited for more, but from the look on Gibbs face that was all he would get. His stomach twisted and it felt like he was going to throw up. He loved Gibbs. Hell, it'd taken him a long time to admit it and he knew Gibbs loved him. His first thought wasn't to arrest Gibbs, but to protect him. The small laugh that snuck out was harsh.

"I used to wonder how people could stick by some thug's side, stay on some monster's side as information came out about all they'd done." He laughed again and didn't notice it sounded like a sob. "Now I know." He stepped closer to Gibbs. "Why? No, I guess I know that because I know you. Not enough evidence?" Gibbs nodded and stepped closer to him. Tony smelled nothing but warmth, and the woodsy scent that Gibbs always carried. It made him think of home and safety.

"That or slick lawyers who get off on getting them off. I'm sorry you had to see that, Tony. I never intended for you to know about it."

Tony pressed a hand to his head. Nothing was mentioned about Gibbs being sorry he killed those two men. Tony hadn't had a migraine in months but it felt like one was on its way. "No, no I guess you didn't. I should have just left it alone but I got nosy. I-I thought you were cheating on me." He headed for the bed and stumbled. He felt Gibbs hands on his arms. He didn't flinch away. "God, I wish you were cheating on me."

Gibbs shushed him and helped him lay down. Warm hands undressed him. The knife he'd hidden was taken away. Gibbs sat beside him and stroked his face. The touches soothed him and he wished they didn't.

"Did you think you needed this?"

Tony nodded. His head felt better. Not a migraine then, just confusion and sadness and so many things mixed up in his head. His whole body hurt and he still felt nauseous.

"I'd never hurt you. Even if you go to the police. Is that what you intend to do?"

Tony shook his head. "No. I couldn't to that, but I have no clue what to do now."

He watched Gibbs stand up and get undressed. "You don't have to do anything right now. This is a big, big shock. It'll look different in the morning."

Tony thought about all he knew about Gibbs, and really was this that big of a shock? Gibbs often wanted justice at any cost for those hurt or killed. As much as he served and believed in the system it was far from perfect. Too far. Gibbs as a vigilante wasn't that much of a stretch. The rest; killing and disposing of the bodies were just the next step. Tony felt like slapping the back of his own head. Was he trying to justify murder?

"It's murder, Gibbs. No matter what, it's murder and you're a killer." I love a murderer, Tony thought, I should be more horrified.

"I've been a killer for a long time, Tony. My country taught me and I took to it very well. I'll have to pay for it one day, I know that." Gibbs slid into the sheets beside him and like he'd been doing for months Tony turned and put his head on his chest. Gibbs hugged him and Tony knew even after he got everything straight, or whatever, in his head he wouldn't turn him in. He'd destroy himself first because turning Gibbs in would be the same thing.

It was selfish and wrong not to turn Gibbs in, but he just couldn't do it, and one day Tony would have to pay same as Gibbs.

The End.