Frantic by joshgroban
Summary: Gibbs, Tony, and suppressed feelings
Categories: Gen Characters: Anthony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs
Genre: Angst, Challenge
Pairing: None
Warnings: Dark story
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1564 Read: 4554 Published: 03/12/2007 Updated: 05/22/2006
Story Notes:
Written in response to a challenge with an injured Tony, a worried Gibbs, and feelings Gibbs usually keeps hidden

1. Frantic by joshgroban

Frantic by joshgroban
Author's Notes:
Gibbs, Tony, and suppressed feelings
They were both tense.

Poised just outside the door of the warehouse, guns drawn, the two of them exchanged glances.
Gibbs nodded slightly. Taking a deep breath, Tony backed up and kicked the door in. Gibbs entered then, keeping low, eyes sweeping the dimly lit space, Tony at his back. The two agents entered the warehouse warily, circling around the empty pallets and stacked boxes. As far as they knew, no one was inside.

It was a pity, really. The information had seemed sound at the time.
Once they had done a round of the building, Gibbs sighed and holstered his piece. Tony however, hesitated.
‘I don't like this.'
‘Something bothering you, DiNozzo?'
Tony shrugged. ‘Someone went to an awful lot of trouble to set us up, Boss.'
‘You think it's a set up?'

It wasn't that Gibbs didn't believe him. If there was one thing he had learned about the younger agent, it was to trust his instincts. Tony seemed to know instinctively if something was off.

‘I know it is. Right off the bat, there was the email. Whoever sent us here went to a lot of trouble to send us an anonymous email from a server in Northern Bangladesh that Abby spent three hours tracing. Not only that, but this place hasn't been touched in months. The only footprints here are ours, and there's a clear inch of dust on the pallets and machinery.'
Tony smiled grimly. ‘It's a set up, all right. And we walked right into it.'

Before the silver haired agent could reply, shots exploded around them. Without hesitation, Gibbs threw himself at Tony, knocking him to the ground. In the ringing silence that followed, a part of him took in his surroundings.

The rest of him noticed with a detached sort of horror that Tony wasn't moving. That… and the dark stain slowly spreading across the grey sweatshirt Tony wore.

Gibbs dropped his gun, swearing with a fluency that would have made a sailor blush. DiNozzo was right. He had made the fatal mistake that he chastised rookies for making, and Tony had suffered as a result.

Gibbs rolled Tony over onto his back, the blood draining from his face as thick, dark blood pooled across Tony's stomach.
‘Hang on, Tony.' Gibbs told him urgently. ‘Don't you dare die on me, do you hear me?'
Tony forced his eyes open. ‘Did… he… hurt you?'
Gibbs shook his head, hand pressing against the wound as he reached for his cell phone. Flipping it open, he dialled a number, requesting an ambulance.

Tony's usually bright green eyes were dulled with pain, his breathing hitching in his throat as he fought to remain conscious. Every movement hurt.

‘I… I wanted… to say thank you.' Tony whispered, grabbing Gibbs' arm. ‘You… always had time… for me… you… never acted like… I was wasting your… time. I know I haven't been… the best of agents… but… you were always there… for me.'

‘DiNozzo, this is crazy.' Gibbs told him. ‘You're a damn good agent, you wouldn't be here otherwise- and you're going to be ok to prove it. Stay with me, Tony.'
‘I wanted my death to… mean something. I wanted to die doing… something… right… for a change. I was never… the perfect son… my father was never happy… with me. He disowned me… cut me off from my family, my friends, disinherited me… he told me I would end up on… the streets, or dead… he'll never know how…sorry I am to have proven… him right…'
Tony's voice trailed off and he began to cough, deep hacking coughs that brought up blood.

Gibbs tilted Tony's head to the side, preventing him from choking on the blood. ‘Tony, you're not going to die.' he said harshly. I'm not going to let you, so you can forget it.'
‘Anything you say, Boss.' Tony whispered weakly, his eyes sliding shut despite his efforts.

Without hesitation, Gibbs slapped his forehead. ‘Talk to me, Tony!'
‘I screwed up again, didn't I?'
In the dim light, Tony smiled sadly.
‘When you hired me, I thought… I had been given a chance… to start over… you were the one person I… looked up to, the one… person… I tried so hard to… please… I wanted you to approve of me… of my work… of my life… I'm not the best man to be around… too lazy, too… juvenile… but I've always tried… living up… to your code.'

‘You have, Tony. You've made me prouder than I have any right to be. I may not have approved of your sense of humour but I've always approved of you.'

‘You… never showed it. All this time, all I ever wanted… was to be… worth it… to know if you understood…'

‘Understood what?'

‘Why… I took the most dangerous assignments… why I was so reckless…'

‘You're not suicidal anymore, Tony. I do know.'

‘You've been like a father… to me. I wanted to… prove myself to you… I still want to… you raised me, you… taught me to live… with honour.'
Tony closed his eyes. Yes another thing he had screwed up with. He should never have said anything, should have just tried harder to prove he was capable of being someone.

‘Tony. Tony, listen to me. It's true that I ride you harder than anyone else, that I expect more from you, and I know you think it's because I don't approve, but you're wrong- this time, anyway.'

‘I… don't understand.' Tony confessed.

Gibbs pressed harder on the wound, listening for the EMTS. Where the hell were they? Tony was not going to die under his hands. There was simply no way.
‘You've never needed to prove yourself to me, DiNozzo. I've always been able to see the real you under the bluster. You're a good agent, and a damn good man. I've come to rely on you, to trust you to watch my back… and to trust your judgement. I need you around, to lighten things up, to listen… to just be there. You're more important to me than you realise.'

‘I didn't…know…'

‘I'm a marine, DiNozzo.' Gibbs said dryly. ‘In case you didn't notice, feelings- emotions- are not my area of expertise- which is probably why I'm divorced. But the way I treat you… the way I try to get more out of you… it's what I would expect from my own son.'

There. It was out. Funnily, he didn't even feel embarrassed by the confession.

‘I've tried to show you in my own way that I care about you, that you mean more than you think, and so help me, DiNozzo, if you die, you're going to have to answer to me!'

In answer, a faint smile crossed Tony's face. ‘Anything you say, Boss.' he repeated softly. ‘I won't let you down.'

‘Damn straight.' Gibbs said shortly. ‘Damn straight.'
~~~~~~
A week or so later:

Tony walked furtively out of the elevator, glancing around for Gibbs. There was no sign of him anywhere. Letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding, Tony walked into the bullpen and dropped his backpack behind his desk.

‘You're late, Tony.' Kate told him. ‘Gibbs has already tried to get hold of you.'

Tony grimaced. ‘I know. I know, dammit!' he repeated when Kate opened her mouth to speak.

‘You're late, DiNozzo.' Gibbs barked, slapping him upside the head.

‘I know.' Tony repeated wearily, perching himself on the corner of Gibbs' desk. ‘I was at the hospital.'

‘It go ok?'

Tony nodded. ‘Fine. He wanted me booked off until Wednesday, but I convinced him to clear me for duty.'

‘ Wednesday? What the hell are you doing at the office now?'

‘I thought I would check my email, clear the backlog of work… maybe see if anything else needs to be done… please, please don't send me home again… I think I'll go crazy.' Tony pleaded.

‘You're halfway there already.' Kate said snidely- and winced as Gibbs slapped her upside the head.

‘Back to work, agent Todd.' he ordered. ‘Here, Tony. You need this more than I do.'

Tony swallowed past the lump in his throat as Gibbs handed him his coffee. Looking up into the cool blue eyes, he could see the warmth and concern that the older man had previously hidden. Gibbs smiled slightly.
‘Three hours, DiNozzo, and three hours only. Then I'm taking you home myself and you will damn well stay there until Wednesday- or don't bother coming in.'

A grin ghosted over Tony's face. It was just bluster. He knew that now.
The phone rang before he could respond. Picking it up, he answered curtly. ‘Special Agent DiNozzo.'

When he put it down, he glanced at Gibbs. ‘We got a case- dead marine hanging from a lamp post.'
Gibbs' eyes narrowed, and without warning, he slapped Tony upside the head again.
Tony looked wounded. ‘What was that for?'
‘Answering my phone, DiNozzo.'
For a moment, the two men glared at each other, and then, surprising Kate, Gibbs laughed suddenly.

‘Welcome back, Tony.' he said, smiling.
End Notes:
Written in response to a challenge with an injured Tony, a worried Gibbs, and feelings Gibbs usually keeps hidden
This story archived at http://www.ncisfiction.com/viewstory.php?sid=5623