"I love my job!" Tony shouted, standing from behind his desk.
Kate rolled her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me, Gibbs."
"We need to talk to his sister and his brother's dealer, Kate," Gibbs said, taking his gun from his desk. "Johnny Keller wasn't just Emma's boss. He's Dean's dealer as well. I want to know what happened that night. And I don't think you're going to pass for a customer in a strip club."
Kate scoffed. "Well, why DiNozzo? Why not Burley? McGee?"
"DiNozzo's our best undercover operative. Besides, Stan's going to be there to baby-sit."
"Great," Burley mumbled. "I get to spend the night slapping DiNozzo's hands away from girls' bare legs?"
"Yeah," Gibbs said. "You might also think about trying to do your job while you're there."
"Can we drink, boss?" Tony asked.
"Yeah. Coke."
"Gonna look kind of suspicious if we're not drinking at a club, boss."
"Gonna look kind of suspicious if you're desk's empty by the time you get back here, DiNozzo."
Tony's lips quickly snapped shut.
Kate continued. "Alcohol won't make a difference. As if Tony's going to be able to concentrate anyway - - "
"We could send you in as a dancer if you'd like, Agent Todd," Gibbs interrupted. "Apparently Keller's bouncers let some in each night out the back."
"I'd be up for that." Tony grinned wickedly.
Kate walked over to him, leant into his face and sent an icy glare. "I have training, DiNozzo. I can hurt you."
He smiled boyishly. "Well, you know that could work in your favour in a place like The Crimson."
- - - -
DiNozzo and Burley stepped out of the van, leaving Kate, McGee and Gibbs inside, wedged uncomfortably between monitors and keyboards and a whole range of other surveillance equipment of which none of them had any idea to use.
It was a cold night now, and both undercover agents pulled their jackets quickly around their bodies as their feet slipped unheeded into the puddles from the evening showers.
"Come on, Burley, you're not the least bit excited for this op?" Tony said, grinning through the cold.
"I'm trying to find Harry's killer, DiNozzo. I'm not here for a night out."
"Yeah, but technically, when you think about it, you're just getting both in one." Tony smiled, smoothing down his shirt.
He heard McGee's voice crackle through his earpiece. "Tony, would you stop fidgeting with your hair and smelling your breath? You're screwing up the communication equipment."
"Sorry, McGeek," Tony said quietly. "But do you want me to pass for a realistic customer or not?"
"Tony, would you just keep your mind on the case," Burley said beside him. "I'll identify Emma, we'll take her aside and question. Please don't make this last any longer than we have to."
Gibbs' voice suddenly came through the earwig. "Don't do anything stupid, DiNozzo."
"Like what, boss?" Tony asked incredulously.
"Blow your cover. Or get yourself killed."
"Yeah," Tony said, now a little concerned. "I'd like to try and avoid that too, boss."
The two agents walked casually up to the club's door. The Crimson was by far the seediest, and yet somehow the classiest looking strip joint that DiNozzo had ever seen. And that was saying something. It projected an air of panache and originality, starting right with the name. No cutesy title like "The Playground" or "The Tramps". Nothing that just screamed "See Naked Women Here". "The Crimson" was written in blood red letters across the top of the brick wall, lined with an aluminium and jet black trim. No flashing neon. Just a fluid cerise bulb.
A very large bouncer pressed a firm hand against DiNozzo's chest as he began to enter the club. "You on the list?" he asked.
Tony's eyes widened slightly, trying to cover his horror. "Uh . . . "
"So, no," the bouncer answered immediately. "You'll take the side door. Ground rules first. You get enthusiastic about giving tips to any of the dancers, and I reserve the right to give you the same treatment. Secondly, you insist on offering money to her to get her to make out with another dancer, she reserves the right to offer you money to do the same with your little buddy here." He nodded in Stan's direction.
Now it was Stan's turn to freeze in horror. "I don't think you have to worry about that happening tonight," he growled in Tony's direction.
Tony swallowed hard and smiled weakly toward the bouncer. He stepped into the side door behind Stan. Most strip clubs he'd visited seemed to work under the assumption that it was eternally 1985, with lots of pleather, lots of mirrors, interior decorating done by the House of Stallone, with consulting by Liberace and Bros, Inc. The Crimson was low-key, much like any other "regular" nightclub, with low lights, tables and chairs, a mahogany bar and an elevated stage. There were no animal prints, the name of the club wasn't spelled out in neon tubing anywhere. The only indication or reference to the fact you were in fact inside The Crimson was the high flooded lights spilling the same blood red colour from outside all around the room.
Within a matter of seconds, DiNozzo's face had melted to a heavenly look of pleasure. "Oh. My. God."
A tall, rich-skinned brunette sauntered slowly up to him, dressed in a black lace corset and stockings. She wrapped an elegant arm around his neck. "Hey, handsome. Welcome to The Crimson." She leant over and gave Burley the same introduction, not smiling, although her eyes glinting playfully. Tony dry swallowed, his eyes wide with hunger and his mouth slightly open in shock. Even Stan's eyes had begun to gloss over. His words choked in his throat before he quickly coughed to clear them. DiNozzo was too preoccupied with the room around him and what was inside it to even notice his partner's apparent faltering undercover special agent status. He sent a brimming smile toward the brunette, before he allowed her to lead him out into the room. Stan followed quickly after.
"DiNozzo." Gibbs' voice rustled through Tony's earpiece. Tony didn't hear him. His eyes and ears were fixated upon a half-naked blonde woman strolling lazily by the bar.
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked.
"Hunh?" Tony's voice was heavy and clouded. "Wha... Yeah, I'm here, boss," Tony said dreamily as the blonde walked by him.
"For God's sake, DiNozzo, keep your voice down!"
Tony watched as the woman walked behind a curtain out toward the back.
"DiNozzo! Do you want to have a job at eight tomorrow morning?"
Tony finally snapped out of it. "What? Sorry, yes, boss. I'm clear. We're inside."
"Gee, I couldn't tell." Gibbs' voice was laced with sarcasm. "Now find Emma. And find out what the hell is wrong with Burley's earwig, he's not answering."
Tony looked over to the bar. Burley was sitting there with, what he assumed was, a lemonade in his hand, watching a short redhead climbing the bar, fetching drinks, with a broad, dumb grin on his face. "He's uh . . . He's gotten himself a drink. It looks like his earpiece has . . . fallen out behind the bar or something." DiNozzo winced at his attempt at a cover up.
"Jesus, DiNozzo," Gibbs said. "You don't think I can't tell when you're lying by now?"
"I'll just get him, boss." Tony grimaced and walked over to the bar and stood next to Burley. The other agent leaned back in his chair as he watched the girl reach once more for a dark alcohol-filled bottle, a small smile forming below those absurd, entirely unnecessary pair of sunglasses.
"We're inside a club, Burley. Take those ridiculous things off." Tony ripped the pair of sunglasses off Burley's face, which seemed to catch his attention. "Gibbs wants to know why you're not reffing back to him." He whispered so that only Burley could hear.
"What? Oh . . . damn it," he coughed. "My earwig must be . . . "
"Please don't start apologising for having testosterone running through your blood, Burley. The only person I know who could make himself completely oblivious at a place like this would be Gibbs. Actually, that's not true. McGee probably could too."
"Hey!" McGee yelled through DiNozzo's earpiece.
"Sorry, Probie. Of course you couldn't. If the girls were dancing on fifteen by fifteen foot plasma screens with high definition audio and six point one surround sound."
He could almost hear McGee's brow furrow in frustration. DiNozzo smiled. "Now, Burley. Time for business. I say you go for the Amazonian looking brunette in that far left corner," Tony nodded his head in the direction.
"DiNozzo, seriously, I think we need to - - "
"Agent Burley, do you really think we're going to pull off two casual strip club customers if we don't show a little interest in the product?"
Burley glared at him. "Fine. At least it's on record that it's your idea and not mine."
"You see Emma," Tony began, "and you come . . . "
His words suddenly dropped off as he felt a soft hand slip up his inner thigh.
He looked up to see a girl with honey-coloured hair, and with eyes so blue that Tony felt like taking his clothes off and diving in. "You, uh . . . you come . . . get me . . . " he trailed as the girl lifted him from his seat, smiling. "Maybe . . . If I'm not otherwise . . . occupied . . . "
Tony smiled toward the girl's back as she led him over to and gently pushed him down into a chair. His grin broadened as she slowly stretched a leg either side of his hips so his nose was almost pressing into her belly-button. He tilted his head back and looked up into those eyes again, letting his mouth loll open. His eyes glistened as he watched her lean down in to his ear.
"Now, what the hell are you doing in a place like this, cowboy?" she whispered.
Tony laughed silently and his grin widened even further, if that was possible. He cocked his head backward in pleasure as the girl slowly began nuzzling her nose and lips between his neck and jaw line.
"What's your name?" she asked.
"What's your's?" he replied in a gravely voice.
She tilted her head to look at him, letting a small smile creep across her plush lips, and wrapped one of her legs down and around his. She slowly slid into his lap and slipped her arms around him. "Victoria," she said softly, still looking deeply into his eyes. Her hands travelled down his back, over his shoulder blades, sliding in a ladder pattern down his spine.
"Ah." It was more an exhalation of breath than an actual acknowledgement from Tony's end. "Pretty name."
Her eyes bore into his playfully as she hooked some of her fingers up underneath Tony's shirt and let them begin working their way up his sides. She felt his hips buckle underneath her and heard the almost silent, throaty moan vibrate throughout his chest. Her smile twitched at the effect she was having on her customer.
A voice crackled through Tony's earpiece. "I'm not paid enough to do this job." He wasn't focused enough to even comprehend who it belonged to.
Victoria gently pushed downward onto Tony's lap, grinding further into him, forcing him to release an even louder groan of satisfaction and his eyes to begin clouding over. He was breathing heavily now, his breaths more panting than steady.
"Do you know if . . . " he began. Victoria began running a hand through his hair and forced his head backward so that she was now looking down onto his face. DiNozzo smiled in wonder at those eyes once more. "Do you know if . . . " he breathed.
"If what?" she asked sweetly.
"If . . . any girls . . . named Emma work here?"
Victoria suddenly stopped her petting, looking down at him with a hurt expression in her eyes. "Fine then. If you don't want . . . " She began to remove herself from Tony's body.
"No, no, no, no!" DiNozzo said, grabbing her around the hips and pulling her in again. "I didn't mean that. I meant . . . "
"What?" Victoria asked.
"I, uh . . . " Tony furrowed his brow in desperation. "I think I know her . . . ?" His Trying-Lie-To-Gibbs expression made another brief appearance.
"She's served you before. I understand."
"So an Emma does work here?"
"I don't know any of the girls' real first names. We all work under aliases . . . " Victoria leant back down and ran her fingers under his collar, apparently already over DiNozzo's wandering interest. She pushed her hands up and around the back of his head, and then began skimming them down his neck and chest until they found their way to his crotch. His eyes rolled backward as he inhaled deeply.
"I think I'll just . . . forget Emma . . . " Tony said, as Victoria ground her thighs into his sides.
She returned a seductive grin, slowly lifting her legs from the ground and beginning to wrap them around his back. She pulled his shoulders closer into her chest when he suddenly heard something shouting his name.
"DiNozzo!"
Tony ignored the voice and slowly began running his hands from Victoria's waist down her thighs.
"DiNozzo!" the voice came again. This time it was louder. The person was getting closer.
"Your friend can come play with us too." Victoria smiled sweetly.
"Who . . . ?" Tony asked, still preoccupied, running his eyes furiously over her body.
Victoria turned her head so that Tony could see Burley striding toward him.
"What? No . . . !" Tony whined. "You've got to be kidding me Burley. Just as I was beginning to forget I was . . . "
"I found Emma," Burley said, striding up to him. He looked awkwardly at the stripper sitting in Tony's lap.
The world suddenly shifted back into focus. "Here?" he said, shooting his attention up to the other agent.
"No, DiNozzo. At the burger joint across the street. Of course she's here."
Victoria stepped up from Tony's lap. "What? Who are you? Why are you looking for Emma?"
Tony looked up into her eyes again and he suddenly felt himself melt, enveloped once more in the cool blue of a Caribbean ocean. His idiotic grin once more placed itself across his face and the words he'd planned to say seemed to still be stuck in his voice-box.
Burley rolled his eyes at Tony and turned to the dancer. "We're no one. We just came here to find a friend."
"No you didn't," she said. "Why do you want to find Emma?"
"So you do know her?" Tony asked.
"Of course I know her." Victoria scowled. Tony recoiled at the dancer's sudden change of character. "Now why the hell do you want to talk to Em?"
"No reason," Burley said. "Tom, I think we ought to leave now."
Tony raised an eyebrow at Burley's name for him, before remembering his undercover identification. "Fine then, Sam."
"No!" Victoria shouted. A few people around the bar were now beginning to look in their direction. "Tell me why you're looking for Emma!"
Tony slowly lifted himself from the chair he'd been seated on and walked over toward Burley. "I think a calm, casual exit from this area would not go amiss right now," he said quietly.
"Hey," Victoria shouted. "How the hell did you know her name was Emma?"
"Told you," Burley answered. "Friend."
"Then why did you come here to see her?"
"Well, we didn't know . . . " DiNozzo began. Burley elbowed him hard in the stomach to shut him up. Tony winced and glared at Burley.
"Oh my God," Victoria said, with a look of horror forming in her eyes. "You're cops."
Tony and Burley looked to one another, each trying to figure out how the other was going to play this one.
"No," Tony finally said. "We . . . "
"Oh, please. I felt your weapon," Victoria said, putting a hand on her hip.
Tony's eyebrows could've hit the ceiling if his forehead hadn't been there to block them. "You felt my . . . Well it's certainly an interesting talent you have when you can recognise a cop just from feeling his . . . "
"DiNozzo!" Burley shouted. "She felt your Sig, you idiot!"
"Oh," Tony mouthed in embarrassed realisation.
"Mickey!" Victoria suddenly yelled.
"What?" Tony shouted. "Wait! No, Victoria!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Burley saw a very large man's form, akin to Arnold Schwarznegger's body type, begin to emerge from the shadows behind them. "DiNozzo, would you just shut up and let's get out of here! Now!"
But it was already too late. Burley felt a large hand grip his two together behind his back. From DiNozzo's wince, he assumed the man's right hand was grasping his in the same way.
"Is there a problem here, Victoria?" the man asked.
"They're cops, Mickey," Victoria replied.
Tony's expression sunk. "Okay, firstly, we really aren't cops, we're special agents working for . . . "
"Even better!" Mickey said. "The boss will have a field day with you two."
Burley sent an icy glare toward Tony, attempting to elbow him in the gut with his mind. "Look, Mickey," he said turning his head back.
"We're not here to bust you or your girls or your boss with anything illegal. We just want to talk to someone who works here."
"Oh, well you're in luck tonight," Mickey said with a broad smile. "Johnny's invited you two for a chat."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.