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They picked up Joshua and went to the park for the afternoon with a Frisbee. Tony liked the fact that Joshua didn't hesitate to hold his hand. He also liked the fact that the little boy liked to horse around, something Tony was particularly good at. They all laughed and carried on the whole afternoon and when they were all tired out, especially one previously rambunctious five year old, Tony's smile couldn't have gotten any bigger when Joshua held his arms up to Tony to be carried.
Claudia watched Tony pick up Joshua who snuggled up to Tony and promptly fell asleep. She noticed the look of awe on Tony's face and how gently yet protectively he held onto Joshua. He really did have the makings of being a great father, even if he didn't know it.
Tony's mind was reeling. Being someone's father had been a huge question mark in his life. Did he want it? Would he be good at it? Would he screw it up? The little heartbeat next to his was a feeling he never thought he really wanted, and more importantly never thought he'd have. Yet he knew at this moment that he wanted this, this irregular regular life. Claudia and Joshua. A family. And all the insanity that it brought with it.
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She thought she saw him through the window of the diner on Wednesday. But when she looked again he was gone. Claudia shook her head and sent up a silent prayer to whatever benevolent deity was listening to keep her ex-husband far, far away from her and Joshua.
Heading out to her car to pick Joshua up at the sitter's after work her cell rang with Jethro's name flashing on the caller id. She smiled as she answered and leaned up against her car as she talked to him.
The pair of eyes watching her from down the street narrowed as he took in her body language. She was laughing and he just knew she was flirting with whoever was on the other end of that call. She was in love. How dare she.
Jethro's team had had a rough couple of days and the director ordered them to take Thursday and Friday off and knowing Claudia wasn't working on Thursday he wanted to spend some time with her and Joshua. They opted for a quiet day at Jethro's house and cooking out on the grill. She knew Jethro was dying to show Joshua the infamous boat in his basement, he was at times a very easy man to read.
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Claudia collected Joshua from the sitter's and they made their way home. Pulling into the lot at the apartment she smiled seeing Tony pulling in alongside her.
"Tony!" Joshua exclaimed as Tony opened up the back door of Claudia's car to let Joshua out of his booster seat.
"Hey, squirt!"
Claudia grabbed her purse off the seat and got out. Tony had Joshua out and had grabbed Joshua's knapsack out of the backseat. No one saw the angry man watching them from the car across the street.
"Hi." He said leaning in to give Claudia a light kiss. Not meaning to but unable to help it his nose wrinkled up at the smell wafting from her uniform.
She caught the look and apologized, "Hi. Sorry about Greasy Spoon No. 5. I got stuck working the grill all day. I may have to take two showers to get rid of the smell."
"Bet you aren't going to miss that when you start working in an office."
"Not a bit. You look tired."
Tony nodded lazily, "Yeah, rough couple of days. Nothing a hot shower and twelve hours of sleep won't cure."
"You better rest up for Saturday." Tony had seen a flyer on the community bulletin board in the break room at work advertising a kid's carnival complete with rides, ponies, and special guest appearances by some favorite cartoon characters. He had pinched the flyer from the board and made a quick photocopy of it before anyone saw his interest in it. Claudia loved the idea and they decided not to tell Joshua but would just surprise him with it on Saturday.
"Hmm…maybe eighteen hours of sleep instead. I'll try and store up some energy like a battery."
Claudia chuckled, "I've been trying to figure out how to do that for years. Let me know if you find a way."
Tony walked them to their apartment and they said quick goodbyes in the doorway, both of them needing a shower, some dinner, and sleep. Tony really liked the fact that Claudia wasn't a clingy type of woman that demanded his full attention all the time. It seemed to make the time that they spent together all the better. And he really was looking forward to Saturday.
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The next morning broke sunny and pleasant and Jethro was up early as usual. Coffee mug in hand he headed out to the shed to inspect his barbeque grill. It had not seen any use in a very long time he realized as he took in the rust and cobwebs decorating it. He realized it wasn't just the grill that bore the signs of disuse, his whole house did. It was clean and tidy. The lawn trimmed and neat. But it was just a place he came to when he wasn't working. It had no warmth, no personality. It was just a house, not a home.
He sat down on the back step and tried to take stock. His marriages to his three ex-wives had been unmitigated disasters. None of them could understand his passion for his job, nor could they understand what it took from him to be face to face with the worst society had to offer on a daily basis. None of his ex's would just give him space. They wanted him to talk and share and they wanted to coddle him to the point of nausea. They couldn't understand that he just couldn't share the horrors of the things he experienced with them. The resented his need for privacy, resented the time he spent working, and resented his refusal to be coddled. His last relationship with Hollis he thought could have been different. But in the end she wanted more of him than he could give and he had suffocated. And he was back at square one.
But then he met Claudia and for some reason she was different. She took what time he could give her. She didn't press for details about the ugly cases he had been working on, and didn't prod at him when he really just wanted to be alone to try and sort out the demons scratching at him. She had just reminded him to eat and told him she was there if he needed to talk. If he needed to talk she had said, not a demand, not a whine, just an open-ended offer of support.
And then there was Joshua. Joshua, who had wormed his way into Jethro's heart instantly. All of those paternal yearning and desires Jethro had thought he had hidden away so well had come back in a flood.
As he gazed down into his empty coffee mug Jethro realized with stunning clarity that he was falling in love with Claudia. And with the idea of having a family again. But he just didn't know if he were up to the challenge of doing full-time. Families needed time and attention and didn't need fathers that sequestered themselves in the basement with a half-finished boat for nights on end. He sighed heavily and went inside for more coffee, hoping that maybe in time he would have more perspective on the situation.
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tbc...feedback adored ;)
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