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Around ten o'clock Claudia and Joshua pulled into the drive and were greeted by Jethro coming around from the back yard.
Joshua ran straight to him and was scooped up and held upside down and tickled. Claudia had walked over to them in a more sedate pace and was given a much gentler greeting with a warm kiss.
With Jethro still holding a laughing Joshua upside down they started walking towards the back yard and he said playfully, "You want the good news or the bad news?"
Claudia shook her head, "Let's start with the bad."
"We don't have a grill."
She laughed not exactly expecting that, "Um. Okay. I think we can rally around that. So what's the good news?"
He tickled Joshua one final time and carefully turned him right side up, "I get to drag you shopping for a new grill."
She rubbed her temple in mock protest, "Oh really."
He knelt down next to Joshua, "Whatdaya think, Joshua? Want to help pick out the new barbeque grill?"
"Are you gonna get a big one?"
"Well, we'll have to see what they have at the store."
She looked at the expectant looks on both their faces and laughed, "It's got to be genetic. Men and their grills. "
Jethro teased her, "He's starting young. I waited until I was twelve."
"It's definitely in the genes."
Both adults almost had tears running down their cheeks from laughing so hard at Joshua's next very serious comment as he patted his pockets, "Mummy, I don't have anything in my jeans."
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A short while later they pulled into a mammoth home and garden store and they found themselves in barbeque grill heaven. Or hell in Claudia's case. A grill was a grill right? Jethro and Joshua had a grand time inspecting all the display models from top to bottom with Jethro patiently explaining all the inner workings to a very impressed Joshua. Claudia entertained herself by snapping pictures of the two of them with the digital camera she always carried in her purse. She had decided a long time ago to always carry a camera because happy little moments in life come and go too quickly and she didn't want to miss any of them.
Eventually her two experts decided on an averaged-sized, averaged-priced grill and loaded up the box into the cart and they headed for the check out. Joshua was completely enthralled with the idea that they had to assemble the grill and he really wanted to know how they got the big, tall grill in the short, fat box. Claudia was avoiding the discussion completely and leafed through a home decorating magazine while they waited in line. She glanced up at a peal of laughter from Joshua and smiled with her gaze falling to the crowd of people near the far end of the store.
Her heart skipped more than one beat when she saw her ex-husband standing in the crowd, glaring at her. She dropped the magazine and frantically checked to be sure Joshua was next to her and when she looked back up towards the crowd, Rick was gone, if he had been there to begin with. Claudia knew that for the longest time after she left him that she saw him everywhere and that it was a fear driven creation. Jethro picked up the dropped magazine and looked at Claudia, "You okay?" He noted that she had gone very pale, like she had seen a ghost or something and he could see her scanning the crowd at the far end of the store, as if looking for someone.
She took the magazine back, "Um. Yeah. Just thought I saw someone I knew."
She was saved from further questions by it becoming their turn to check out, Joshua instantly charmed the cashier and she presented him with a bright orange balloon to his delight. They got the box wrangled into the trunk of the car and headed for the grocery store. Jethro noticed Claudia scanning the parking lot as they were leaving, again looking for someone.
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The experience of a grocery store trip with an active five year old was something Jethro had forgotten. There were just too many choices and he wanted them all. They grabbed some watermelon and stuff to make homemade potato salad and some chicken and headed for the checkout. On the way, Claudia realized they forgot barbeque sauce back at the other end of the store. Seeing Jethro holding the basket with one hand and Joshua's hand in the other she offered, "You guys head go ahead and get in line, I'll run."
Jethro and Joshua continued on their way to the checkout when they ran into someone completely unexpected at the end of the aisle, Hollis Mann.
"Jethro." Came her cool greeting.
"Hollis." He replied equally coolly.
Joshua didn't say anything but looked between the two adults, never let it be said that a five year old can't read body language and the tension coming off the two adults was almost tangible. He didn't know who the lady was talking to Jethro but he could tell she made him nervous and he squeezed Jethro's hand in support.
Jethro felt the squeeze and looked down at Joshua who beamed a smile back up at him. Hollis looked down to see Joshua and a new understanding of Jethro was formulating in her mind. "Joshua, this is my friend Hollis, Hollis this is my friend Joshua."
She forced a little smile on her face and said kindly, "Hello, Joshua. It's nice to meet you."
He was suddenly a little shy but in a small voice answered, "Hi."
Jethro desperately wanted to slip away from Hollis before Claudia came back. His luck wasn't that good. Joshua saw his mother at the far end of the aisle and slipped his hand out of Jethro's to go skipping towards her.
Hollis looked at Claudia and Joshua and saw the tender expression on Jethro's face as he watched Joshua safely arrive at his mother and even more understanding bloomed in her mind.
Turning back to her he said, "Hol…"
She interrupted him, "Don't. You don't owe me an explanation."
"I never meant…"
She just wouldn't let him get a word out edgewise, "We've said all there is to say, Jethro. I just wish I had been the one to put that expression on your face." She reached over and brushed a non-existent piece of lint off of his shoulder and looked him square in the eye, "Don't screw this one up, Jethro. You're running out of second chances."
"I'm sorry, Hol."
She nodded and turned to go, "I know. Me too."
She walked away and he turned to meet Claudia and Joshua, she could tell by the hangdog look on his face that something about the woman that he had been talking to was bothering him. She didn't press the issue, figuring that he would tell her in his own time. She just put the barbeque sauce in the basket and putting a gentle hand on his back she gently rubbed while they waited in line. It only took a minute for him to turn to her with a wane little smile and say quietly for her ears only, "Hollis."
It was all he needed to say. He had told her about Hollis they day they spent at the beach. She knew he had cared for Hollis and that they were very similar people but in the end she wanted things from him he just couldn't give her. Claudia just nodded to him and kept rubbing his back knowing full well that Jethro was another one starved for comfort and affection.
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They got back to the house and Claudia commandeered the kitchen while the boys headed to the backyard to assemble the grill. She looked around a little and realized that something was bothering her and it took her a while to figure it out. There was no color in the house. Everything was a neutral shade, no warmth anywhere. Not even a random red potholder. She put the potatoes on to boil for the potato salad and wandered into the living room. She was met with more shades of tan and beige. Even her dentist's office had more color than this.
A bookshelf tucked in the corner drew her attention and she saw a couple of photos tucked in between stacks of old western novels. One picture in particular caught her eye and she lifted it down and smiled, it had to be Kelly. The little girl had little red, white, and blue stars painted on her face and she was wearing an American flag t-shirt waving around a big cotton-candy, the photo's background looked like some sort of parade or carnival. The little girl had a beautiful smile that was all Jethro.
Jethro and Joshua slipped in the back door for Joshua to take a much needed potty break and after showing him where the bathroom was Jethro realized that Claudia wasn't in the kitchen but was wandering around his living room. As much as he wanted her and Joshua here, in his house, he didn't know if he were ready for her to see that much of him, to be so exposed, for her to see how much he didn't have to offer, how empty his life had become, how sterile. Her apartment with its unpacked moving boxes stacked in the corners and no curtains was homier than the house he had lived in for years.
Somehow though when he saw her standing at the bookshelf looking at the picture of Kelly all those fears and self-doubts went away when she turned to him, smiled and said, "She was a beautiful child, Jethro. I see your smile right there."
He had a huge lump in his throat as he took the few steps towards her to close the distance, and he looked down at the picture she was holding. Clearing his throat he told her, "She was five there. It was the big Fourth of July parade. I was marching with my unit and Kelly and Shannon were watching. I still remember hearing her yell ‘Daddy' when we went by. It was a great day."
Before she could say anything Joshua stuck his head between them and asked, "Who's that?"
Jethro gave Claudia a panicked look, not knowing what exactly to say. She knelt down so Joshua could see the picture better, "This is Jethro's little girl Kelly."
"She doesn't live with you?" Joshua asked brightly. He knew other kids on the playground like him that lived with their moms or dads and not both.
Claudia hooked a finger under his chin so he would look at her, she only did this when what she was saying was important so he listened hard, "No, Joshua, she doesn't live here. Kelly is in heaven with the angels, sweetie."
His little face grew sad, "Like Grandma?"
"Yes, like Grandma."
Joshua turned to Jethro and flung himself around one of his legs, "I bet you miss Kelly. I miss Grandma."
Jethro scooped him up and squeezed him tight, "I do miss her a lot, Joshua. But she and your Grandma are in heaven watching over all of us."
Joshua twisted around to look at the picture, "Kelly's pretty."
Claudia reached over and ruffled his hair, "Yes, she is. Now is the grill put together yet?
He giggled, "No, Mummy we just started."
She put the picture back on the shelf and with and with an exaggerated throwing up of her arms teased, "What are you doing in here goofing off. Back to work you!" She gave him a little poke in the belly causing more giggles.
He slid down and out of Jethro's arms and grabbed his hand pulling him towards the kitchen. Claudia followed them and after checking on the potatoes, grabbed her camera and went out to watch the Jethro and Joshua show.
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It seemed to take an inordinate amount of time for them to assemble the grill. Although she suspected a lot of goofing off with a certain wooden lady downstairs when the boys would make "tool runs" to the basement. Realizing that it couldn't possibly take more than a wrench and a screwdriver to put the grill together and also realizing that the boys had been missing for a half hour while she made the potato salad, got the corn on the cob wrapped and ready for the grill and had the chicken marinating in the barbeque sauce. She finally gave up hope of seeing them again until hunger drove them from the basement and went outside and picked up the assembly instructions.
Twenty minutes later the grill was assembled and the packaging picked up. She didn't light it; she drew the line at that. Charcoal and lighter fluid was definitely a household chore that fell in the "male" category in her book, right up there with killing spiders and mowing grass. Instead she made her way down the basement steps and teased the two sawdust coated boys, "Should I just put the chicken in the oven?"
Two sets of eyes turned towards her and Jethro looked a little sheepish, "Sorry. We got a little distracted."
"I see that." She chuckled
The two of them reluctantly put down the sanding blocks and brushed off their hands. They followed Claudia upstairs.
The boys walked outside and she laughed out loud when she heard Joshua's little piping voice exclaim, "Mummy put it together."
Jethro's deep laugh joined in, "Yes, she did. I guess we'd better light it so we can eat sometime today."
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The grill was carefully lit and when the coals were hot the food was cooked to perfection. Sitting at the picnic table in the backyard that hadn't seen use in years the three of them ate with Joshua explaining to his mother all about the boat downstairs and how much work was left to be done on it. Claudia looked at Jethro sitting next to Joshua and saw that he looked very relaxed, the same relaxed she had seen when he was standing barefoot in her kitchen.
They finished eating and cleared the table, bringing everything inside. She could see they were both itching to go back to the boat and she finally shooed them out of the kitchen. Without them underfoot it only took a few minutes to put everything away and load the dishwasher. With a final wipe of the counter she grabbed the camera and snuck downstairs.
After watching them work for a while and taking loads of pictures she found herself sitting on the stairs leaning her head against the wall and dozing off contently listening to the soft country radio station Jethro had playing downstairs.
Claudia forced herself to open her eyes when she felt someone rubbing her arm and calling her name. Jethro's blue eyes came into focus and she smiled. He teased, "You're going to fall on your nose trying to sleep on the stairs."
"Mummy needs a nap." Joshua gave his opinion from the other side of the boat.
Jethro chuckled, "Yes, she does. I'll be right back. Keep sanding." He pulled her into a standing position and led her upstairs and then upstairs again to the second floor where he opened a door to what she somehow knew was his bedroom.
It would have broken her heart if his bedroom had been more bland diet tan, instead she got a goofy grin seeing the rich navy blue tones in the comforter and curtains, the baby blue walls and sheets complimenting the navy. He had framed paintings of schooners on the walls and a real-life ship in a bottle on the dresser. It was serene. This was who he was. Her smile broadened as she thought about it. He pushed her to sit on the bed and he slipped off her shoes and swung her legs up. He saw her expression and asked, "What's that grin for?"
"I like the blue."
Somehow he suspected it was more than that but he left it alone, "Take a nap. We're going to play a while longer downstairs."
"Okay. I won't argue." She snuggled down into the pillow that smelled faintly like his shampoo and sawdust and was asleep instantly. It had been a long week and it wasn't over yet.
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Claudia woke with a start, not realizing immediately where she was. It took a moment to sort out that she was snuggled up against Jethro's chest as he lay stretched out on the bed reading one of his many dime-store western novels by the dim light of the bedside lamp. She also took in the fact that it was now dark outside, and she had no idea how long she had been asleep.
His strong hand stroked her back, "Hi. Have a good nap?"
"What time is it? Where's Joshua?"
He chuckled, "It's only nine o'clock. Joshua and I ate some leftovers and he had a bath and is now out cold across the hall in the spare room."
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "I think you were running on fumes, Claud."
She didn't want him to see her like this, to see her exhausted and at the brink. No one knew how tired she was all the time. It all just wore her down and as much as she tried to stay upbeat and happy eventually she crashed. She really hoped that the switch to an office job would help, with regular hours and more money so she wouldn't have to work overtime. Joshua starting school soon would help too. But she just had to hold it all together a little while longer, finish getting all the pieces of her life in order.
She gave him a little grin, "Some company I am. Sorry."
"No complaints here. We wanted a quiet day remember?
"Well there's quiet and then there's comatose."
"It was a good day. I enjoyed it. Joshua enjoyed it. And I'm willing to bet that the part you were conscious for, you enjoyed."
She dropped her head back to his chest and chuckled, "Brat."
A few minutes later she crawled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom pausing on her way to check on Joshua. He was curled up under the covers and out like a light. She pulled the door almost closed and found the upstairs bathroom. She smiled when she saw that Jethro had dug out a new toothbrush for her and left out a t-shirt for her to sleep in on the bathroom counter.
Making her way back to his bedroom she paused in the doorway when she saw him already under the covers. Sliding in next to him she didn't hesitate to snuggle up against him. He reached over and clicked off the light, bathing the room in darkness. They could have made love but they didn't. He wanted her, and she him. But sometimes your soul doesn't need the fiery passion, sometimes it just needs to be cocooned in the arms of another and soothed with the sound of another heartbeat keeping time with yours.
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tbc...feedback always appreciated!!!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.