When McGee set foot in the bullpen, the silence was almost deafening. His body tensed as he walked over to his desk and sat down, placing his bag on the desktop. He opened his mouth to say something, but his reluctant throat refused to break the silence. The uncomfortable air around him seemed to stifle any sound that came out, and the result was McGee opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish. Tony seemed to notice this amusing action and the silence was broken.
"Practicing kissing Abby then, Probie?" he joked. The joke sounded almost forced; the words were Tony's usual style, but the way he said it lacked his customary childish attitude, his eyes remaining cold and hard. Nobody challenged him about it; they all knew what he was going through, what they were all going through.
"No," McGee said, his cheeks tinged with the slightest bit of colour.
"Well, if you kiss like that, then it's no wonder Abby still doesn't want to date you," Tony said, surprising himself when he laced the words with spite and malice.
"Don't take it out on McGee, Tony." Ziva said in a quiet monotone that was uncharacteristic of the Ziva they had all come to know and like.
"Take what out, Ziva? Tell me, precisely what can't I take out on Probie?" Tony asked, temper rising in his voice.
"We all feel bad over what happened to Gibbs, but we need to stick together as a team," Ziva said, her tone hardening against Tony's angry voice.
"Oh, so you feel ‘bad' do you? We are all supposed to feel ‘bad'?" Tony asked, blood rushing to his face.
"I didn't mean…" Ziva began
"Well you haven't been here that long, you're not as close to Gibbs as we are. So while you feel ‘bad', we might be feeling slightly more than that," Tony spat at Ziva. Ziva's face blanched and the hurt at what Tony had just said shone through in her eyes. She rose from her seat without saying a word and rushed from the bullpen. A pang of guilt hit Tony's heart as he realized the full effect of the words that had just exited his mouth. He fell silent and looked at the floor as he sank into his chair.
"That was uncalled for Tony," McGee said quietly, "She may not have been here as long as we have but we all feel the same. I haven't even been here as long as…" Tony looked up and attempted to say something but McGee didn't let him, "as long as you, but I'd like to feel that I'm part of this team as much as you are."
"You are, we all are…I didn't mean…"
"Well, then, why did you say it, Tony?"
"I don't know…I didn't think…"
"You need to apologize to her," McGee said quietly, some of the earlier strength draining from his voice as he had said his peace.
"I will…why haven't you gone off with her…and left me on my own?"
"I'm your friend Tony, and I will always be here for you, but that doesn't mean I won't be Ziva's as well."
Tony looked at McGee and gratitude filled his gleaming eyes. Tony paused slightly before saying his next words, "Thank you."
McGee nodded his head silently before standing up and walking to the edge of the bullpen. "I'm going to find Abby; I don't know where Ziva would be…" McGee said as he exited the floor via the elevator.
Tony sighed deeply before jumping up and grabbing his coat. ‘What happened to Gibbs may have been his fault, but there was no way he should have taken it out on her like that.'
***
Author's Chapter Notes:
Feeling come to the surface as tension runs high in the bullpen in the aftermath of the tragic event