Chapter Five
Tony’s return to consciousness was brief but spectacular. He’d struggled a little, settling only when he heard Gibbs and Ducky’s voices before collapsing back into unconsciousness a few minutes later. Eight hours had now passed and the younger man was still unconscious. While he was still, Gibbs had talked himself hoarse, had pushed himself beyond exhaustion, knowing Tony needed him. The coffee and Caf Pow Jenny had sent were gone now and the only indication Gibbs had that time had passed were the movement of the hour and minute hands on his watch.
Abby was curled up on his lap, having come back just after Tony had awakened, barely getting a glimpse of his emerald eyes before they fluttered shut. They spoke to him together throughout the night, Abby rambling on about this club or that band she wanted Tony to check out. Ducky joined in with stories from his past. Normally Gibbs would have shushed the ramblings but right now they were his lifeline. And quite possibly Tony’s.
Their voices meant he didn’t have to think too hard, didn’t have to catalogue DiNozzo’s injuries and what it all meant. They’d changed a couple of the bandages in his presence and he was horrified by what he saw. And Jethro Gibbs did not horrify easily. He remembered what Ducky had said about it being a marathon and finally realized what that meant, the truth of his friend’s words.
It wasn’t enough that Tony had awakened; he had to heal. He had to heal! He was a fighter. Gibbs knew the kid had guts. Now he just needed strength and they would give it to him. They had to. A life without Tony was unfathomable.
“My turn, Duck,” he interrupted, his own panic starting again. He shifted a sleepy Abby"there wasn’t enough Caf Pow in the world to keep her going forever"and stood on cramped legs, taking the chair right by the bed that Ducky had vacated and sinking into it.
He started stroking what he was beginning to think of as his spot, that section of skin covered with surprisingly soft hair that bordered Tony’s collarbone. Tony was still a little cool to the touch but Ducky had assured Gibbs that it was normal given the blood loss.
He touched Tony gently but firmly, letting him know more with touch than with words that he was there. He couldn’t talk intimately with Ducky and Abby here. Those words were for him and Tony only.
“Jethro, don’t you think you ought to get some rest in a proper bed. You hardly have a voice any longer.”
Jethro shook his head, setting his jaw firmly.
“Oh, my dear Jethro, you really must"“
“Save it, Duck. When he’s awake, we’ll talk. Until then, here is the only place for me.”
Ducky arched an eyebrow. “So if you were to get the news that the monsters who put Tony here had been…Jethro! Sit down! They haven’t. Remember? Richmond Vice didn’t have any luck last night. They’re trying again tonight.”
He felt like a fool but settled back down. “Duck, take Abbs somewhere where she can stretch out. Give me an hour or two with Tony here.”
Ducky started to protest and Gibbs shook his head, waving off his friend’s concern. “No, Duck. Don’t argue it. Last time, I got him to the surface. Can’t argue with those results.” The hint of a self-satisfied smirk started to appear before he crushed it.
Once Ducky and Abby were gone, he tugged the other chair over and rested his feet on it, extending his hand again and finding another of his areas on Tony, the right bicep, just above where the IV line was taped against his skin.
“Gonna make it, Tony. We’re gonna make it, work it all out.” He rested his hand on Tony and closed his eyes but before he could find any more words, exhaustion finally claimed him.
Tony had been watching and listening as much as he could. At the diner he’d found himself back in the darkness, whatever sort of astral projection had brought him there ending or going wrong. So he’d drifted. He wasn’t in pain and sometimes he heard and understood what they were saying. Abby wanting to take him to a new club, Ducky’s story about the healing powers of pygmy goat milk, and Gibbs’ encouragement even as his voice got more and more hoarse.
Tony knew Gibbs wasn’t gay or bi and yet the man had said they’d figure it out. Tony wasn’t quite sure what that meant but he wanted to reassure the older man. He had a lot of time to think and wondered if he could pay a visit to Gibbs in his dreams.
Tony got the opportunity when Gibbs drifted off into a deep sleep. He didn’t know how he knew these things, but then again he didn’t know how he’d connected with Kate and he sure had. Some things were beyond his comprehension or at least his consciousness.
Right where Gibbs was touching him tingled and Tony focused his energy there, feeling himself becoming misty, much as he had beforehand. Then all of a sudden he was in Gibbs’ basement, the other man stroking the ribs of his boat.
“Hey, Boss.”
Gibbs’ head snapped up. “Tony! You’re here!” His voice was higher pitched, almost excited, something Tony couldn’t remember hearing in years. Gibbs took two steps closer and then stopped suddenly, extending his hand. “You are here, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, much as I can be, I guess.” Looking at Gibbs in this place had his every vulnerability coming to the surface. “Boss, I’m scared. I messed up bad and I’m scared.” His voice was shaking.
Gibbs moved closer. “Can you move? Can I touch you?”
Tony swallowed hard and nodded, waiting for the headslap, but it never came.
“Okay. You know where my room is. Go there. I’ll be up in a minute.”
“B-boss?” What was he saying? Gibbs just stared him down so Tony swallowed his unease and went up to the master bedroom on the second floor. He was suddenly cold and pulled on one of Gibbs’ sweatshirts, breathing in the masculine scent he attributed to his boss.
He looked up when Gibbs came in and just watched as the other man sat on the bed and patted it gently.
“You sure, Boss?” Tony still didn’t have any idea what Gibbs was up to.
“Yup.”
Once Tony was on the bed, Gibbs pulled him gently down until they were lying together face to face. The older man’s hand clenched his bicep before smoothing through Tony’s hair.
“I’m scared too, DiNozzo. Seeing you like that shook me up real bad.”
“Boss, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Tony. You can’t help how you feel. It’s okay. You and me, we’re gonna figure it all out. Not angry. Not firing you. Not gonna beat you up or whatever Abbs thinks I might do. Can’t promise anything, but this. You heal and we talk.”
“Okay, Boss.”
“Gibbs. Never call me “boss” in bed. Power trip.” He gave Tony a small wink and Tony chuckled.
“You’re really not mad?” It just didn’t make sense to Tony. How could Gibbs not be furious, both at the chances he’d taken and the fact that he was in love with Gibbs. When Gibbs just shook his head, Tony continued. “About any of it? The chances? The choice of club? Me having feelings for you?”
Gibbs sighed and Tony tensed, waiting for it. “Not mad. A little disappointed that you thought I’d fire you over being attracted to me. You know me. You know how I protect and defend my team. Who you find pretty or who you sleep with hasn’t ever mattered to me. Just didn’t want to hear all the details.”
This was it. Tony had to ask this question. “How do you feel knowing it’s you I find pretty, Gibbs?”
He studied the other man, cataloguing everything, every muscle movement, the slight shrug and frustrated sigh. There wasn’t rejection or disgust in any of the movements, just a bit of overwhelmed confusion. “Not sure. Never had another guy feel that way about me. Never really thought about it before. And right now I’m kinda busy trying to give you the strength to put yourself back together again. Not much time to think about anything but you being alive.”
Tony looked down at his whole body, knowing he wouldn’t ever look like this again. “How bad, Gibbs? Am I gonna have to live in a home or something?”
“Why? Ya thinking about moving out of your bachelor pad?”
Tony knew his expression had remained grim when Gibbs sighed.
“Tony, I don’t know what to tell ya right now. You’ll be fine living alone. You’ll be able to work, date, watch movies, eat pizza. I just don’t know if you’ll be cleared for fieldwork. Your hands…they’re bad. Depends on how well you heal.”
He frowned deeply, touching Tony’s flank now, the seriousness pressing deep creases into his face that Tony wanted to smooth away. “And you’re gonna have some scars. From what I saw they got you pretty bad on the stomach and legs and between ‘em. Plastic surgery comes after ortho and we gotta get your hands fixed first.”
“My…” Tony looked down.
Gibbs winced and nodded. “Yeah. Haven’t seen first hand but Duck is keeping me informed. And your face is fine. Coupla bruises, that’s all.”
Tony started sniffling then, giving the fear and panic a chance to get out.
“Hey, hey, DiNozzo! You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m here.” Gibbs pulled him into a tight hug, hand stroking his bicep and they drifted off to sleep together.
“Jethro! Jethro, really, this is quite a sight! This is not helping Tony. Jethro! Get up!”
Gibbs opened his eyes slowly, orienting himself, trying to ignore Ducky poking a finger into his kidneys. He was still in Tony’s room, he must have fallen asleep and shifted position. Gibbs was half in the chair, his upper body resting on the bed, his head next to Tony’s and his chin resting on the other man’s shoulder.
Gbibs sat up, stretching, flexing clenched muscles. He was still holding Tony’s bicep, he realized, uncurling his hand from the warm and slightly damp skin. Something seemed… off, but he was too tired to analyze it at the moment.
“Jethro? Where in heaven’s name did this come from?” He looked up, blinking sleepily as Ducky held up his oldest, most worn and comfortable sweatshirt. It had been draped over DiNozzo but was now in Ducky’s hands. The heart monitor sped up a few beats.
The dream came back to him in a flash. Tony’d worn that same sweatshirt, the very same sweatshirt that was in his bureau back home in DC, two hours away. “I…don’t know, Duck.”
But he thought he did understand, even if it stretched the bounds of everything he’d believed before. What was a shared dream when Tony’d seen Kate multiple times? And Gibbs didn’t doubt that for a second either.
He leaned in close to Tony, draping the sweatshirt back over the younger man, his certainty growing when the monitor slowed back down to Tony’s normal range. “Dunno, Duck. Some things you just can’t explain.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony awakens and brings his relationship with Gibbs to a different level.