Chapter Eight
Tony’s eyes slipped closed, Gibbs’ words echoing in his ears. He had a chance with Gibbs. He just had to get strong and heal. There was no way he was going to die and screw this up. A lot of movie scenarios ran through his exhausted brain before he pushed it all away with a mental shake of his head. He just wanted to savor Gibbs being here after everything that had happened. He wanted to savor and cherish the feel of the man’s body next to his, the way he hadn’t left and was so protective of him. Like the father he’d always wanted but so much more than that.
Gibbs’ breathing evened out, and his hand relaxed where it rested on Tony’s collarbone. Tony’d never thought about that small place before, but with Gibbs’ hand there, the skin felt alive. Tony knew his injuries were muted by pain meds running through his system. Everything was faded and misty, but Gibbs, where he touched Tony’s collarbone and arm, those areas came into sharper focus, the skin and muscle underneath accepting the gentle touch. If he’d had the strength, he would have strained into Gibbs’ warm hand. It was as if Gibbs knew he needed the anchor of someone not only physically close by but actually touching him.
And the fact that after all this it was Gibbs here, Gibbs not pushing away, not freaked out that Tony had very un-boss-like feelings for him. It gave Tony hope that he didn’t know how to deal with. It had all gotten so screwed up and it seemed crazy for him to be able to think about the future.
But Gibbs had ordered him to heal. It wasn’t the first time Gibbs had pulled him back from the brink against the odds. Tony sure hoped this was the last time, that the rest of his life would be a hell of a lot more mundane.
He breathed as deeply as he dared and tried to find sleep. With Gibbs here he could relax. Boss wouldn’t let anything else happen to him.
“Love you, Gibbs,” he whispered again, surrendering to a darkness that was comforting this time.
Gibbs had been dozing himself when Tony’s whispered words touched his ears and he couldn’t help smiling and running a thumb over Tony’s collarbone. Maybe it was the drugs or the fact that Tony’s secret was out, but he Gibbs found himself being more open than he had been in a long time. With anyone, Gibbs supposed.
“Shhh, Tony. Sleep.”
He glanced down at Tony, wondering again if he should call the DiNozzos and order them down. It wouldn’t change anything, the elder DiNozzo hadn’t even returned his message. But the fact remained that it meant something to Tony…Gibbs knew it.
“I’ll be just outside, Tony. Five minutes. Sleep…”
Ducky, Jen, and Abby were hovering around when he stepped out and he had to physically block the door. “He’s sleeping. Let him be,” he said in his most commanding tone, his voice kept low though the steel in it let them know he wasn’t going to accept anything except full compliance.
Abby pouted, flopping down into a chair and staring at her fingers, but Ducky and Jen continued to watch him and Gibbs knew he was facing his first challenge. Everything had shifted there in that room. Maybe his reality had changed a long time ago, and he was only now realizing it. Maybe this had been fate’s plan all along. He didn’t know, was too damn tired and strung out to work it out.
What remained were him and Tony. A unit. More than partners, more than boss and subordinante. They’d had some close calls before, had saved each other’s lives. They’d been pissed, had argued and even bantered. Before this had happened, he would have sworn he knew Tony better than anyone. He’d been the first to see beyond the frat boy and to the talented and whip smart agent who he’d wanted on his six from the day they met.
But this new protectiveness and possessiveness was a shock, the way he was feeling that it was the two of them alone against the world. This was a new reality for him, different even than any of the marriages. On some level he was binding himself to Tony more tightly than he had to his ex-wives"as tightly as he had with Shannon. And that shook him up, so he reacted defensively instead of being the calm leader he wanted to be.
He folded his arms over his chest, closing himself off physically. “Don’t cross me, either of you. I’m his power of attorney and I’m making the rules in Tony’s best interests. Duck, you need to rest. Tony is sleeping, he’s as stable as he’s gonna get for now. They have some hotel rooms for us near the diner. Get down there and take four hours minimum. The doctors here will take care of him until you’ve rested up.”
Ducky started to protest and Gibbs put a hand up, cutting off the stream of words before they began. “No arguments or I’ll have you banned from his room, Duck. I couldn’t be more serious.”
Ducky met his eyes for a few tense moments and then nodded. “Well, yes, I suppose I ought to check with the nurses at home to see how Mother is getting on.”
Gibbs nodded. “And when you get back, tell me when we can get him to Bethesda. I want him close to home.”
“Oh, that will probably take some time, but I’ll schedule a meeting with his medical team and we can discuss options.”
“Good.”
“But Jethro?” Very few people could get away with touching his arm at a time like this and yet Ducky didn’t hesitate, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Whatever this bond is between you and Anthony, do not isolate him or yourself. He will need the strength and courage of the entire team in the coming days and weeks and months. And you will need us just as much in your own way, especially since he’s leaning so completely on you.”
“He said he loves me.” Gibbs didn’t know why the words escaped but once they were out, he couldn’t pull them back. Jen and Abby exchanged a look that he saw out of the corner of his eye and Ducky stood a fraction taller.
“Well of course he does, dear boy.”
“I don’t think Jethro meant it the way you’re thinking, Ducky,” Jen said quietly and Gibbs turned to her, nodding slightly. He refused to break her gaze until she finally gave him a tender smile.
“In love, Duck. In love with me.” Gibbs had the idea that it had been the worst kept secret though nobody’d ever seen the depths of it.
“And how did that make you feel?” Ducky asked. It was precisely the wrong thing to say and got Gibbs’ back up. He was not gonna have his head shrunk by his friend.
“Fine,” he finally bit out. He knew that would convey that he was okay with it, all things considered. “Now get lost.” The words held more heat than the tone but Ducky did as requested.
When Ducky was gone, Gibbs angled a look at Jen. “Sit with Abby. If his vitals change, you come get me. There’s a waiting area down there,” he said, gesturing down the hall. “I’ll be there.”
It was also an area where he could use his cell.
“Jethro?” Jen asked, compassion brimming in her eyes. He knew she was asking if he was okay and he shrugged.
“Dunno. Yes, no, maybe.” He repeated what he’d said to Tony earlier. “I’m gonna get his useless father on the phone, see if I can’t bribe him to come down here and visit his kid.”
“Do you love Tony?” she asked quietly.
He replied to her without hesitation. “Yes.”
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