Tony stared out into the distance, not really seeing anything as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He wanted to be pissed at Levon for putting him in this situation---except Levon wasn’t doing this to be an asshole. He was tying help, and Tony knew that. It was Gibbs’ motives Tony wasn’t sure of.
Tony didn’t turn around when he heard Gibbs step out on to the deck. He knew it was him, not Joe or Levon; the scent of coffee and sawdust were a dead give away. Tony frowned, idly wondering how that combination could still be in play. Gibbs couldn’t have done any woodworking in at least the last 24 hours. And he hadn’t had coffee with dinner.
Tony turned to face his old boss. He’d have bet money that Gibbs would have chosen to leave rather than be forced into talking to him. Gibbs wasn’t known for letting anyone dictate his actions. Tony smiled to himself. He had to hand it to Levon, the man certainly knew how to make things happen. Tony knew it wasn’t fair to manipulate people that way, but then Levon did what he thought was right for anyone he cared about and fair wasn’t always a prime consideration.
If he wasn’t still a little pissed, Tony might have felt sorry for Gibbs. He wasn’t sure what the other man expected when he came to Houston, but Tony was fairly certain what he’d gotten so far wasn’t it.
Tony leaned back against the railing, folding his arms over his chest. He kept his expression neutral, giving away nothing. Tony knew Gibbs expected him to say something. Unless it was to dress him down for some reason, it was usually Tony who spoke first. Tony decided he’d just keep his mouth shut and for the older man to begin.
Gibbs moved toward him. Tony resisted the urge to move away. He wasn’t going to give Gibbs the satisfaction of letting him know how uncomfortable his getting closer made him. He wasn’t afraid of Gibbs, but he was on guard, not knowing what Gibbs wanted from him.
Tony realized he must have telegraphed his unease because Gibbs stopped well out side of striking distance. It occurred to Tony that he might not have given away anything as much as Levon’s earlier action in the interrogation room could have made Gibbs cautious. Levon and Joe were not standing in the doorway watching---and Tony was grateful they’d offered at least the illusion of privacy---but he had no doubts they’d be monitoring this conversation. Gibbs was likely equally aware of that fact. Gibbs might have thought discretion the better part of valor and elected to stay far enough away from Tony so as not to incur any more interaction with Joe and Levon.
Knowing Joe and Levon wouldn’t be totally ignoring them should have annoyed Tony. He didn’t need babysitters, but Tony found it comforting to know he wasn’t flying solo. It was decidedly reassuring to know he had back up he could call on if he needed it.
Levon was obviously not totally against Gibbs, or he wouldn’t have forced this conversation to happen, but he was still clearly in Tony’s corner. Hell, Levon had put Gibbs into the wall earlier for trying to head slap Tony; it was the only time Tony could remember anyone going to that extreme to stand up for him with Gibbs. Joe obviously wouldn’t hesitate to stand beside him, ready to kick Gibbs’ ass. But he was also willing to respect Tony’s wishes and make nice…with a little re-enforcement from Levon. It wasn’t entirely unexpected that Levon would have to add his two cents to keep Joe in line. Tony’s cousin was hotheaded, but his heart was in the right place. Tony made a note to ask exactly what that bit at the table had been about between Joe and Levon.
Tony watched Gibbs as he continued to wait. Gibbs still hadn’t said anything. He almost looked uncertain, but Tony chalked that up to the lighting. He’d never known Gibbs to hesitate or lack confidence. But then he’d never seen Gibbs forced into anything without reacting with a display of anger either. It was definitely a day of firsts.
After several minutes, Tony huffed out a breath, annoyed with Gibbs’ silence. Evidently whatever the hell it was Gibbs had to say it wasn’t too important or terribly pressing. Tony moved to step around Gibbs, heading for the door. If Gibbs didn’t want to talk, he had things to do before they flew to D.C.
“Tony…wait.”
“Does that mean you plan to actually say something or am I supposed to read your mind?” Tony turned to face Gibbs. “If it’s the latter, then now would be a good time to mention my physic powers are rather limited.”
Gibbs jaw tightened. He looked like he wanted to give Tony a head smack. Tony’s eyes narrowed. He might have defended that action earlier, brushing it off as no big deal, but he was in no mood to be so forgiving now.
“You’re not making this easy.”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to.” Tony arched an eyebrow, holding his hands out, palms up and a classic ‘what’ gesture. “What exactly do you want me to do? I don’t have a clue as to why you wanted to talk to me or what it was you wanted to say. I gave you time to tell me, you apparently don’t feel the need to use it.”
Gibbs growled, fingers curling into fists and then opening again. “I want to know why you quit.”
Tony frowned. Gibbs had raised that issue before, but Tony hadn’t answered him. He’d talked around the question then---not deliberately, he just couldn’t see why it would matter to Gibbs.
“Why do you care?” Tony cocked his head to one side, studying Gibbs. “It’s been three months. By now, it should be like I was never there. I mean---“
“Just tell me!” Gibbs didn’t quite snarl, but he came close. He also shifted, clearly wanting to move closer. Tony stepped back, maintaining the distance between them. He wasn’t afraid of Gibbs, but he couldn’t help the instinctive need to be wary in the face of the other man’s anger and agitation.
To his surprise, Gibbs looked almost chagrined by his outburst. The former Marine sighed and Tony could almost see him reining in his temper. When he spoke again there was no anger in his voice. “Tony…I need to know. Will you tell me, please?”
Tony couldn’t remember Gibbs ever saying please or ever actually asking for anything. It was always orders, directives, or commands. Never a request.
Tony forced himself to make eye contact and hold it. He gave the older man a bitter smile. “If I had to sum it up in ten words or less, I’d say I quit because I was tired.”
Gibbs brow furled in confusion. “Tired?”
“Yes, tired.” Tony shot back, suddenly angry. “I know to you that’s probably insufficient, petty, selfish or whatever you’d care to label it. But I’m not going to dress it up into something more just so you won’t think less of me.”
“What?” Gibbs stared at him, mouth open. “Tony…No. That’s not…I don’t understand. What do you mean tired? Explain it to me.”
Tony sighed. Of course Gibbs didn’t get it. How could he?
“Tony…please.”
Again with the please. Maybe the word really was magic. Tony shouldn’t have to explain this, but obviously Gibbs wanted him to, so he found himself telling the other man what he asked.
“I spent four months pretending to be you. Not because I wanted to be you. I did it because that was what the team needed. Someone had to pick up the slack and hold it together, give them a sense that everything would be okay, normal even. And I was the lucky bastard nominated to do the job.”
Tony glared at Gibbs. It wasn’t his fault, Tony knew that, but he felt an irrational desire to blame Gibbs just the same. “They wanted me to be you. And I did my level best to give them what they wanted. Not that it made much difference. It wasn’t good enough because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be you.”
Forgetting his earlier wariness, Tony stepped closer, using his height to intimidate, anger radiating from his expression and posture. He was savagely pleased when Gibbs actually moved back. “Any time I tried to do things differently, I was setting myself up for ridicule. ‘Gibbs didn’t do it that way. Gibbs won’t like that. Don’t strain yourself trying to be your own man, DiNozzo, we all know you aren’t Gibbs. Do you have any idea how damn old it got hearing I wasn’t you? Like I didn’t know that!!”
Tony spun away from Gibbs, stalking toward the railing. “So you come back. Hurray. Break out the brass band and the ticker tape. I’m back to playing second fiddle and I was okay with that. Except I got used to being in charge. The transition back to being a peon wasn’t exactly smooth. Of course, my coworkers were oh so helpful with putting me back in my place. Not that you gave a damn.”
Tony gave a derisive snort. It had been pretty damned obvious none of them ever thought he had what it took to be team leader in the first place. Hell, McGee had come right out and said so. Ziva had run to Gibbs at the first sign of trouble. And Abby had her shrine to Gibbs, not to mention giving Ziva the number to call Gibbs in the first place. And Gibbs…he tried to act like nothing changed, when the truth was everything had. If Gibbs ever ran interference, told his teammates to knock it off and cut Tony some slack, it wasn’t done where Tony could hear it.
Tony shook his head. “They didn’t even notice you weren’t firing on all cylinders when you came back. To them you were the Great Gibbs, back from the dead and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Christ.” The curse didn’t come close to encompassing his level of disgust and disappointment.
Tony grimaced, gripping the railing hard enough to bleach his knuckles white. “Never mind that you lied to them. Abandoned them. Left without a good-bye. Waltzed back in without a ‘hello’, ‘hi how are you’, ‘kiss my ass’, nothing. Just show up like you’d never left. And all was forgiven.”
It must have been nice, Tony mused silently. His mistakes were never brushed off so easily. Nor were they ever forgotten or forgiven so quickly.
Tony turned to face Gibbs again. “I should have left then. Spain wouldn’t have been a bad assignment. Start fresh as the leader of my own team. A team that wouldn’t spend every minute comparing me to you and finding me lacking.”
Tony ran his fingers through his air. “But I thought they needed me. I thought you needed me. And I was already in play on the La Grenouille case, working as Tony DiNardo. I thought I should stick around and see it through.”
Tony’s lips turned upward in a twisted smile that had little to do with humor. “If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have taken the transfer. Hindsight is a real bitch.”
He sighed heavily. “I was never needed. It was stupid to think so. But then no one ever accused me of being the brightest crayon in the---”
“Tony, you were needed. You are needed.” Gibbs sounded earnest, like he might even mean it. “It’s what I came to•“
“Shut up,” Tony ordered. He didn’t want to hear it. Words meant nothing when actions spoke louder. And the team’s actions had spoken volumes already.
Gibbs gave him a look that at one time would have had Tony babbling an apology, but not any more. Green eyes measured the former Marine, his expression dispassionate. He didn’t work for Gibbs any more. He didn’t have to take or tolerate what Gibbs saw fit to give. And it was high time the other man understood that.
“You asked me for an answer, and an explanation. You can damn well do me the courtesy of keeping your mouth shut and listen to me until I’m finished.” Tony’s chin came up defiantly. “Or you can leave. Choice is yours.”
Gibbs seemed to hesitate, and for a moment, Tony thought the other man was more proud than pissed that he’d stood up to him. But that seemed decidedly unlikely. He also might have looked just a bit hurt that Tony hadn’t believed him. But again, Tony figured that was just his imagination.
“I’ll get to say my piece when you’re through?” The question was uncharacteristically diffident.
Tony hesitated, then nodded. “Sure.” He smiled slightly as he realized Levon probably wouldn’t let them back in the house if he didn’t at least hear Gibbs out. He said as much.
Gibbs smiled back. “He can be a real pain in the ass.”
“That he can, but he’s a good guy.”
“I’m beginning to see that.”
“Can I finish then?”
“Certainly.”
Tony rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “I was working twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. It was exhausting. Even when you leave out losing two friends along the way.”
He swallowed hard. He tried not to think about Paula Cassidy or John Carson if he could help it. “Did you know I never made it to Paula’s funeral?” He hadn’t made it to John’s either. “I couldn’t take the time off.”
He cast a bleak look at Gibbs, all his sense of loss and sorrow over their deaths showing in his eyes. He took no pleasure in seeing Gibbs wince. Gibbs hadn’t forced him to keep working, but Tony knew it was expected that he’d suck it up and do his job, no matter what. Unlike Gibbs, Shepard had taken time out to actually tell him the job came first. She made it clear too much was riding on him for him to lose focus. Down time to grieve simply wasn’t on the agenda. It hadn’t been when Kate died either.
Tony wasn’t entirely sure he’d have appreciated it if he’d been given time off, but in hindsight he knew he should have taken it. It might have kept him from telling Jeanne he loved her---and while he had loved her, dearly, telling her so was just one more mistake in a long line of them.
“No.” Gibbs answered his question. “I didn’t know you hadn’t gone to her funeral.”
Tony wasn’t surprised Gibbs hadn’t known he’d missed Paula’s funeral. As far as Tony knew the rest of the team hadn’t gone; if they had, it was never mentioned. They never spoke to him at all about Paula. It was like she never existed.
“Jeanne had some hospital function. I was her date. I tried to slip away. Find an excuse, but DiNardo was a college professor. Not like he had any real reason to---”Tony grimaced, and forced himself to stop babbling. He was making excuses, looking for absolution that couldn’t be given. He was getting off track. He needed to refocus.
“By the time Paula…died…I knew I was in over my head with Jeanne and La Grenouille. I was getting closer to drowning. But there isn’t anyone I can talk to because the only person I have to turn to for help is the same one who shoved me into deep end in the first place.”
Tony kept his voice even. He didn’t want all the anger and remembered disappointment to show. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. It wasn’t like he hadn’t wanted to tell Gibbs. But like a fool he’d let Shepard convince him the operation was need to know. Need to know was apparently her code for ‘this isn’t kosher and I don’t want to get caught’.
“I knew it would end badly. There was really no other way for it to end.” The expression on Jeanne’s face still haunted him. She’d been devastated; finding out both her boyfriend and her father weren’t the men she believed them to be couldn’t have been easy.
“I’d just kept hoping it wouldn’t be quite the disaster it turned out to be.” It was a spectacular mess when it was all said and done. This latest bit with the FBI was just further proof of that.
“Then it’s done. Fucked up but finished. And I thought things would get better. I kept telling myself that it would get easier. I just had to give it some time.”
He shook his head. Thinking about all the ways things hadn’t gotten better was depressing. It wasn’t something he’d really thought much about over the last few months. He had tried to let all the hurt, bitterness and anger fade, choosing to focus on his more positive memories. Talking about it now stirred up things he’d ignored but not really forgotten.
Tony squared his shoulders. “I decided a leave of absence would be a good idea. Thought if I took some time off, I could wrap my head around the fact that my team didn’t trust me and probably never had. I could come to terms with the fact that they didn’t respect me, and likely never would.” Tony ran his fingers through his hair again. “I wanted time to accept the fact that my boss was a hypocrite with a do as I say not as I do attitude.”
Gibbs’ head came up sharply, blue eyes focusing like laser beams. “Wait a min•“
“I’m betting rule twelve was in place before you were in Paris with Shepard. A blind man could tell you slept with her.” Tony curtly cut him off. “You have fifty rules. It’s a safe bet rule twelve wasn’t a last minute add on.”
Tony’s voice was flat and hard. “And it was okay for you not to tell me personal stuff…I could respect you keeping what happened to your wife and daughter to yourself. But there was a whole lot of shit with Franks you didn’t share, and god only knows how many other things you kept to yourself that were case related. You don’t get to make me feel two inches tall for following orders and keeping an undercover operation under wraps when you went out of your way to keep me in the dark for no good reason that I can see. And I sure as hell wasn’t the only one on the team keeping secrets, but no one else got dressed down for it, or handed a shit task that was clearly nothing more than punishment.”
Tony pointed a finger at Gibbs. “It was okay for you to go all lone wolf and not let your team act as back up, more than once I might add. Hell, that crap with Maddie wasn’t exactly new. Meeting Ari alone ring any bells? How about when you helped Fornell fake his suicide and never said a word to me? You’d have slapped me silly for doing the same thing.”
Tony glared at Gibbs. “If there is another word that would cover telling me not do exactly what you’ve done and are still doing, well feel free to enlighten me because the only one I know is hypocrite.”
Gibbs actually flinched. “It was necessary•“
“Bullshit.” Tony shook his head. “It wasn’t necessary. You choose to leave me out of the loop. And I don’t take it personally because you left everyone out. But you don’t get to preach to me about the right way and the wrong way to do things when you won’t follow your own damn rules.”
Gibbs jaw closed with an audible snap. He looked…Tony wasn’t even sure what to call it. He’d never see the older man look embarrassed or ashamed, but he thought he might just be seeing it now.
“When Shepard refused my request for a leave of absence, I wasn’t willing to take no for an answer. Not from her.” Tony sneered, thinking about that conversation. “Bitch saw nothing wrong with letting me be collateral damage in her own personal war but wouldn’t give me time to get my head on straight. I wasn’t her fucking lapdog.”
“You were my St. Bernard,” Gibbs said quietly.
“I was yes.” Tony agreed. He’d been loyal to a fault, willing to do whatever Gibbs needed whenever he needed it. “Until you left.”
Gibbs looked as though that hurt him to hear. “I couldn’t stay.”
“I know.” Tony tried to smile and then gave up. “I don’t blame you for that. I understand why you left.” It had taken him some time to come to terms with it, but eventually Tony had understood why Gibbs felt the need to leave.
Tony sighed softly. “I don’t understand you not saying good-bye, but I get why you had to go. And I even get why you wanted things to be the same when you came back. But you had to have known the world wasn’t going to stand still, that things changed while you were in Mexico.”
“They didn’t change that much,” Gibbs said, but he didn’t sound at all certain.
“It was enough.” Tony managed to smile this time. “If you use a big enough hammer and a lot of force, you can get a square peg into a round hole, but there will be damage done along the way.”
Gibbs frowned. “I wasn’t trying to be a hammer•“
“No but you were just the same.” Tony nodded. “You turned a blind eye to anything that didn’t fit what you thought it should be. It’s why you didn’t ask more questions about where I went and what I was doing. I know you had to have wondered.”
“I did.”
“But you never asked.”
“Would have told me?”
“Yeah.” Tony shrugged. He would have told Gibbs everything if the man had asked. “I left things out, but I tried not to lie directly, Gibbs.” He couldn’t resist adding a small dig. “Same way you never lied to me.”
Gibbs’ eyes narrowed, but he nodded slowly. “Sins of omission.”
“They will still damn you, or so Kate told me.”
“If Shepard had given you the time off would you have come back?”
“I don’t know.” Tony shook his head. “She was the final straw, but it wasn’t just Shepard, Gibbs.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Did you?” Tony blinked. “You don’t sound sure.”
“Well…I’m beginning to.” Gibbs smiled wanly. “I didn’t realize you thought we didn’t trust or respect you.”
“You thought I should have just said something?” Tony snorted. “Like saying anything wouldn’t have made me look like a whiny asshole wallowing in self-pity.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that.”
“Right.” Tony gave him a hard look. “Because telling me it would be okay if I died as long as I was quiet about it would make your caring, understanding nature so apparent.”
Gibbs flushed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Damn right you shouldn’t have.” Tony resisted the urge to smack Gibbs one. “I know I went a bit nuts on the Chimera, but I nearly died a dozen times since I started working for NCIS. I had the damn plague, you asshole. Did it occur to you that I might just have found that situation more than a little fucking stressful? That my going a little insane wasn’t because I’m a coward or an idiot, but that I had a damn good reason to think my number might well come up?”
“I never thought you were a coward.”
“No, but I was a moron, right?” Tony snarled. “I had to have been to be there so long and not get the message.”
“Message?”
“After my Mustang blew up, how did I get home?” Tony asked abruptly.
Gibbs stared at him, clearly not following. “I don’t•“
“How did I get to work?”
Gibbs looked at him blankly. He obviously had never given Tony’s mode of transportation a thought.
“Not one person I worked with asked if I needed a lift. No one offered me a ride home or to pick me up.” Tony sneered. “The message, Gibbs, was quite clearly that I didn’t matter and my life didn’t matter as long as the job got done.”
“That’s not true.”
“Kate’s desk sat unmolested for months,” Tony stated coldly. “The guy you thought was me wasn’t even in the ground yet and they were taking my stuff. I’m surprised you weren’t already looking for a replacement.”
Gibbs paled. “DiNozzo, it wasn’t like•“
“Ziva follows me into the men’s room to give me her personal brand of pep talk and advice. It’s a lot like having salt and lemon juice rubbed into an open wound.” Tony wanted to pace but forced himself to stay in one place. “And when I return the favor, give her back what she’s dishing out, the bitch wants me to apologize! Like I didn’t warrant getting the same from her? Where the hell does she get off?”
“Ziva meant well.”
“That’s not the point!” Tony yelled. “And you know it.”
Tony took a deep breath, forcing himself to hold it, trying to stay calm. He glances toward the door, realizing his raised voice had been enough to make Joe and Levon check on him. He wanted to wave them off, but he didn’t think he could convince them he was okay. They didn’t look ready to intervene; there was no harm in letting them stay.
Tony’s tone was level and even when he spoke again. “I saved your life, and it didn’t even warrant a thank you.”
Gibbs swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Tony.”
Tony sighed. He never thought he’d ever get an apology from Gibbs, and now that he had, Tony found himself suspicious of the reason for it. He eyed the other man.
“When I was a kid, and I got in trouble, I was always sorry. Wasn’t really sorry for what I did, I was just sorry I got caught.” Tony cocked his head to one side. “That how you’re sorry?”
The question could almost have been a physical blow from the way it rocked Gibbs back on his heels. Gibbs suddenly looked older and worn down.
“You said the team needs me. What exactly do they need me for?” Tony raised both eyebrows. “You’ve gotten along just fine without me.”
“We have not gotten along fine without you!” Gibbs waved both hands in a frustration gesture that was more Abby’s style than his.
“It’s been three months, Gibbs.” Tony shook his head. “If you really needed me you’ve have found me long before now.”
“We looked for you every day.”
He hadn’t been hiding. They obviously hadn’t looked that hard. Tony couldn’t help asking cynically, “So it’s just a coincidence you found me the same time the FBI is looking for me and starting to investigate the whole team?”
“Yes.” Gibbs’ chin came up in a clear challenge. “And they aren’t investigating the entire team.”
“You always told me there was no such things as coincidence.” Tony shook his head, meeting Gibbs’ challenge with a tight smile. “And he might not have started to look at the team yet, but if Fornell really thinks Shepard was their shooter, he’ll look at everyone on the team involved in the case. Hell, if he had any brains at all he’d look at entire agency since she could have used anyone in it.”
Tony turned to walk away. He’d heard enough. This was all pointless.
“Abby never opened your gift.”
“What?” Tony spun around, shocked. Abby had always torn into presents like a small child on Christmas morning. She always said she loved his gifts. “Why?”
“She didn’t want it to be the last thing she ever got from you. If we couldn’t find you, there might never be another ‘absolutely perfect Tony present’. She has dozens of pictures of you taped to the wall, and an ongoing count of every day you’ve been gone.”
Gibbs stepped closer, his movements almost cautious. “No one has touched your desk. It’s got an inch of dust on it. I didn’t hire anyone else not because you weren’t needed, but because I don’t want anyone else to take your place.”
Blue eyes met green. “McGee checked your phone logs. He’s looked at your bank account every day since you left, searched every computer database and record he could think of. He refuses to use the mug you gave him, but he keeps it on his desk like some kind of talisman.”
Gibbs licked his lips. “Ziva signed up to take an American Cinema class so she could finally understand your movie references and work on her grasp of slang. She broke the nose of a Metro cop who insulted you.”
Gibbs let out a shaky breath. “I never thought to check our personnel file because I thought I already knew what was in it. It was a stupid mistake. I should not have assumed but I did. I forgot about the trust fund you hadn’t touched in years. No one thought to talk to your frat brothers until we got a flier from the alumni organization at Ohio State.”
Gibbs stepped closer. “I dropped the ball. I should have seen how stressful things were. I should not have expected you to take the crap I handed out whether you deserved it or not simply because you always had. I knew how much Paula meant to you. How much you loved your car. How much damage the La Grenouille case did. I ignored what I didn’t want to deal with and I let you down.”
Gibbs reached out to lay a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “That’s what I’m sorry for.”
Tony stared at him, speechless. He had no idea what to say.
“I was already planning to come to Houston when Fornell came to my house. It really is a coincidence that we found you the same time the FBI started looking for you. And I know how unlikely that sounds, but it is the truth.”
Tony wondered if this was what it was like to step though to the other side of the looking glass. Nothing Gibbs said was what he’d expected. Did it change things, Tony asked himself. That they went to such lengths in his absence didn’t negate the fact they had dismissed him when he was there, did it? Had he misread things that badly? If what Gibbs said was true the team had acted far better about his quitting than they had when they thought he’d died. What the hell did that say about him…about them? Tony found he didn’t have an answer.
“Tony?” Gibbs shook him slightly, breaking his reverie. “Are you okay?”
“I really don’t know.” Tony chuckled at the irony. It wasn’t all that long ago he’d been asking himself that same question. “I’ll need to think about it for awhile.”
He looked over his shoulder, calling out softly. “Joe?”
“Yeah, Tony?”
“You mind running with me?” Tony had already gone earlier in the day, and as tired as all this had made him, he needed to move, to find some way to compartmentalize everything into manageable bits and pieces. All the emotional turmoil needed an outlet or he’d never be able to sleep, and he’d need to get some rest if he was going to face down Fornell. He would go alone if he had to, but he’d rather have Joe go with him. Knowing him as well as they did, neither Joe nor Levon voiced an objection.
“Give me time to change my clothes.” Joe said before turning and heading into the house. Levon stood in the doorway, brown eyes relaying both concern and support.
Tony started to step away from Gibbs, but the older man held on. Tony raised an eyebrow, silently asking Gibbs what he wanted.
“Are we okay?”
“I don’t know that either.” Tony shook his head. “All I know at the moment is that tomorrow I’ll be flying to D.C. to deal with the FBI. Hopefully, at some point, I’ll have a more definitive answer for you.” For me too, Tony added silently.
“Tony•“
“I can’t do any better than that right now, Gibbs.” Tony pulled away. “You’re just going to have to accept it.”
“I was going to say, let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”
“Oh.” Tony smiled sheepishly. “My bad.”
“It’s okay.” Gibbs smiled. “Not exactly unrealistic to expect me to be a bastard.”
“It’s what the second ‘B’ is for, after all.” Tony nodded, giving Gibbs a quick, understanding grin.
“Yeah, well, I’m trying.”
“That, I do know.”
As Tony headed into the house, he whispered to Levon, “Look after him will you? He’s not a bad guy, just--”
Levon nodded and lightly slapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll see to him. Don’t run too far. Not good for you to push yourself too hard.”
“That’s why I asked Joe to go along. He’ll keep me in line.”
“Good.” Levon smiled at him.
Tony found it reassuring to know that Levon and Joe would have his back. At the moment, they were the one thing he could count on. They never doubted him, and he’d never doubted them. It was nice to have a lodestone.
“Thanks, Cowboy.”
“You’re welcome, Slick.” Levon patted his shoulder again. “Go do what you gotta. I’ll hold down the fort.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs and Tony finally talk.