Tony wasn’t sure if they’d planned it, if it was by accident, or a byproduct of their normal work routine, but he was grateful that he could speak to each of his former coworkers alone. He hadn’t wanted some big, group good-bye that would ultimately be a meaningless show. He wanted his parting from them to be personal and private.
He found Abby in her lab. Saying good-bye to her was surprisingly painless. There were no tears, for which Tony was decidedly grateful. There were several hugs, one or two of which made breathing momentarily difficult but Tony still enjoyed them. And there was more than one repetition of all his contact information.
Abby now had in her possession every possible means of contacting him known to man---and probably a few unknown. Tony knew she has some strange beliefs, but he trusted that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, so he didn’t baulk at giving her a clipping of his hair when she asked for it. He wouldn’t put it past her to put some sort of voodoo mojo something or other on him. If it made her feel better, he didn’t mind. And knowing she cared enough to bother made him feel better. It was a win/win he could live with.
McGee, Tony found loitering in the hallway just outside Abby’s lab. It was obvious he’d been trying to give Tony and Abby a moment alone. It was equally obvious he didn’t want to miss a chance to have his own moment alone with Tony.
Saying good-bye to McGee was almost abrupt in comparison to Abby’s. A handshake, a pat on the shoulder and they were good. Tony promised to stay in touch and meant it.
He had McGee’s cell phone and work number; neither one had changed. Tony even had his e-mail address, both work and personal. After McGee’s revelation about his online gaming Tony had indulged his curiosity, researching what and where McGee played. Figuring out his username and ID had been a piece of cake. Tony hadn’t done anything with that knowledge, but now he just might have a good reason to put it to use. It would be nice to surprise McGee by showing up in his game when he was online. Tony had gotten reasonably good at it before abandoning it once his curiosity had been satisfied. It would be fun to see if he could keep McGee on his toes in cyberspace.
Saying good-bye to Ducky required a stop in the morgue. It was strange, given how autopsies and mutilated bodies still made him uncomfortable, but the NCIS morgue had been one of Tony’s favorite places in the building. Ducky always made it seem like more than just a repository for the dead.
Ducky had smiled when Tony walked in. His kind blue eyes were alight with understanding. He knew why Tony was there without having to ask. He held out his hand for Tony to shake. Tony took it without hesitation.
“Now that a few fences have been mended, my dear boy, I expect you’ll be a bit freer with your communication in the future.”
It wasn’t exactly a question, but Tony answered it as one anyway. “I’ll try to do more than just send an e-mail once in a while, Ducky.” He had wanted to do more than that, but hadn’t wanted to put Ducky in any more of an awkward position than he already had.
Ducky nodded. “You know the number, Anthony, call any time you like.”
“I won’t bother you at work.” Tony was quick to assure the older man. He knew Ducky took his work seriously and needed to be able to concentrate. Not to mention the fact that while personal calls at the office weren’t forbidden but they were frowned upon…at least by Gibbs.
“You do have my home phone number,” Ducky pointed out with a gentle smile.
“I’ll try to call too late. I don’t want to disturb Mrs. Mallard and I know she goes to bed early.”
“Not to worry, Anthony, if she asks, I’ll simply tell my mother it’s the Italian gigolo furniture mover she was so fond of. She’ll understand.”
Tony laughed, and pulled Ducky into a quick hug. “Thank you, Ducky. For everything.”
“You are welcome, Anthony.”
Leaving the morgue, Tony headed back up to the bullpen. He eyed the observation platform that lead to MTAC and the Director’s office and was relieved to see it empty. There wasn’t anything left for him to say to Shepard. She’d messed up his life, but in some ways she’d done him a favor at the same time. Going to Houston had been very good for him; it was the best decision he could have made. Tony supposed finding a way to let her get away with murder made them even. Although he was sure Gibbs would keep looking for away to make her pay for killing Rene Benoit---if for no other reason than the trouble she’d caused his team.
Tony wished Gibbs the best of luck with that, but it didn’t matter much to him. Making Shepard pay wouldn’t change anything for Tony, not really. Rene would still be dead, Jeanne would still hate him, and there was no real career for him at NCIS any more. His future was in Houston.
Tony sighed silently, shifting his gaze to the bullpen. He wasn’t surprised to find Ziva at her desk. She faced him as she got her feet. Her expression was calm, but her eyes were not. It never ceased to amaze Tony just how turbulent and passionate her eyes could be while so little of it ever showed anywhere else.
“You are going back to Houston?”
“I am.”
Tony hesitated. He didn’t want to shake her hand the way he had McGee’s. Some how a handshake wasn’t going to be enough, but he wasn’t sure she’d welcome a hug the way Abby and Ducky had. Finally, Tony just ruffled her hair, making her smile before he placed a quick kiss on her cheek.
“Be well, Ziva.”
“Shalom, Tony.”
When he turned to walk away, she grabbed his right arm. “You are welcome to write…or call…e-mail if you prefer. I would not mind if you stayed in touch.”
“I’d like that.” Tony smiled, his left hand rose to cover hers and squeezed once. “Abby has all my contact information. Feel free to ask her for it.”
Ziva smiled. Her relief was nearly tangible. “I will.”
Tony nodded, letting go. Maybe they could forge a genuine friendship now. He hoped so. For all their differences, he liked her.
Tony headed for the elevator. He wasn’t sure where to find Gibbs. He hadn’t seen the man since he’d brought Kort in. Tony bit his lower lip nervously. He didn’t want to leave without saying good-bye to Gibbs. He hadn’t minded doing it before---then it was a way of making a point, but now he wanted the chance to do it right. As he waited for the elevator Tony debated whether or not he should just call Gibbs’ cell, or waste time searching the building in vain hopes of finding him.
He sighed softly. Maybe Gibbs didn’t want to talk to him. The man hadn’t said any good-byes of his own. It was possible he dreaded hearing them as much as he avoided saying them.
As the doors to the elevator opened, Tony blinked in surprise to find Gibbs inside. Tony shook his head. He should have known. The elevator was Gibbs’ preferred private meeting place after all. Tony smirked when he realized Gibbs had probably been loitering in the elevator much the same way McGee had hovered in the hallway outside of Abby’s lab.
“You been hanging out here long?”
“Couple of minutes.” Gibbs shrugged and looked just a bit sheepish. It made Tony feel warm inside to know Gibbs had made a point of making a claim on the elevator just to be able to talk to him, probably scaring the hell out of everyone in the building while he was at it. That would explain why for as busy at the building was no one else was on the elevator with Gibbs, and they weren’t anxiously waiting around to get on either.
Gibbs looked around Tony, eyebrows rising. “What happened to your guard dogs?”
Tony chuckled, amused by the description knowing Joe and Levon would not only agree but probably approve. “They are waiting downstairs.”
It had taking a bit of doing to convince them that he could do this on his own. Tony knew Joe and Levon weren’t worried about his coworkers reactions; they might have been ‘guard dogs’ initially, but they no longer thought anyone at NCIS meant to harm Tony physically or emotionally. They had simply wanted to be close by to support Tony in what was likely to be a bittersweet parting. He appreciated their support, and was grateful they were willing to respect his wishes.
Gibbs stepped back, mutely inviting Tony to join him in the elevator. Tony stepped inside. He waited for Gibbs to hit the first floor button and then for him to pull the emergency stop once the elevator was in motion.
Tony watched as Gibbs seemed to struggle with what to say. It was only the second time in the years he’d known the man he’d seen him have to work at finding the right words. Tony shook his head. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“You don’t have to go back to Houston,” Gibbs said finally.
“No, I don’t have to,” Tony agreed.
The FBI no longer breathing down his neck; for better or worse, the La Grenouille case was finished as far as Tony was concerned. And as Ducky had put it earlier, ‘fences had been mended’. Tony could get his job back at NCIS. It wouldn’t be that hard. There was still a spot available on Gibbs’ team, one he knew he could have just by asking for it. Not even Shepard would deny him that regardless of how pissed she might be over the way things worked out. Technically, she owed him, and they both knew it.
“I want to go back,” Tony said softly. There was more for him in Houston than had ever been in DC. He wasn’t so big a fool he’d pass that up. Not after he’d spent most of his adult life looking for it.
Blue eyes searched green. “You’re sure?”
Tony didn’t hesitate to answer. “Positive.”
Gibbs cleared his throat. “You won’t reconsider?”
“I’ve already thought about it a lot.” Tony shrugged one shoulder. “It’s better if I go.”
“Better for who?”
“Me.” Tony smiled ruefully. “It’s selfish, I know, but I’ve gotten used to putting myself first when it comes to my own life.”
Gibbs smiled. “Not necessarily a bad thing.”
“Not really, no.”
Gibbs reached out a hand; instead of the head smack Tony expected, Gibbs gently cupped his face. “I never said it before, and I should have. Before I miss out on another chance…I am proud to know you, Tony DiNozzo. And I am very proud of you.”
Tony stared at Gibbs. He had never expected to hear Gibbs stay anything like that. And he never expected to have them mean so much.
“Thanks, Boss.”
Tony impulsively pulled Gibbs into a hug. The only other time he’d hugged Gibbs has been after he thought the older man had died in an explosion. Gibbs had tolerated the contact then, not returning the gesture, but this time he wrapped his arms around Tony hugging him back.
“You make sure they look after you,” Gibbs said as he released Tony, pulling back to look him in the eye. His tone made it sound like an order.
Tony chuckled. “Don’t really think you need to worry about that.”
Gibbs glared at him. “Tony.”
“I will be careful. And I’ll make sure I’ve always got back up. I promise.”
Gibbs nodded, satisfied. “Good boy.”
Gibbs hit the emergency button putting the elevator in motion again.
“I hear the gulf is a nice place to sail,” Tony tossed out casually, not looking at Gibbs.
Gibbs gave him a slant eyed look. “I’ve heard that too,”
“Never tried it myself, but you might want to give it a go if you ever get that boat out of your basement.”
“You think so, do you?” The question didn’t have any of Gibbs’ usual sarcasm.
Tony just smiled and shrugged. “By the time you get around to it, I might even have a spare room you could use when you need a break from being on the water.”
It was as close to an outright invitation to come visit as Tony could bring himself to make, unwilling to risk total rejection. The only time Gibbs had taken time off, in all the years Tony had known him, was his four month stint in Mexico. Tony tried to brace himself for whatever brush off Gibbs would likely make. He told himself it didn’t matter. It was enough that Gibbs had said he was proud of him.
Gibbs turned his head to look directly at Tony. “When you get a place of your own, give me a call. And you better have a real bed for me to use, DiNozzo, because I’m too damn old to be sleeping on that ratty couch you had.”
Tony grinned, a sudden rush of happiness making him feel almost lightheaded. Feeling more confident he couldn’t resist teasing Gibbs a little. “You slept under the boat, Gibbs, my couch is way better than that.”
Gibbs smiled at him. He raised his hand to very lightly cuff the back of Tony’s head. It was more of a caress than a slap. “A real bed, DiNozzo.”
“Got it, Boss.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened on the first floor. Joe and Levon were waiting, leaning against the wall in front of the elevator. Levon was sipping from a cup of coffee; Joe was playing with an empty bottle that had probably held his favorite flavored water at some point. They both stood straight, shoulders square as Tony and Gibbs stepped off the elevator.
“Everything go okay, Slick?”
“Fine.”
Brown eyes and turquoise assessed him. They nodded at the same time, assured that Tony had told them the truth. What they would do if things hadn’t gone well upstairs with his old team or with Gibbs standing beside him, Tony wasn’t quite sure, he was just glad he didn’t have to find out.
“We good to go then?” Joe asked
“Yeah, we’re good.” Tony nodded. He held out his hand to Gibbs. Gibbs took it, his grip firm.
“Take care of yourself, Gibbs.”
“I will.” Gibbs smiled. “You do the same.”
Tony smiled and nodded.
“Gibbs,” Joe said by way of a good-bye, giving the former Marine a two finger salute.
“LaFiamma.”
Levon lightly patted Gibbs’ shoulder. “Next time you come visit, call first. Someone will get you at the airport.”
Gibbs frowned. “Who said I would"“
“You will.” Levon grinned, confident without being smug.
Tony had no idea how Levon would know Gibbs had even agreed to come to Houston again. He’d known Tony long enough to know he’d at least make an effort to ask, but Levon didn’t know Gibbs well enough to be so confident of his acceptance of the invitation. But then, Levon had always been a decidedly good judge of character.
“We might just break out the good china for dinner.” Levon chuckled, winking at Gibbs.
Joe laughed, bumping Levon’s shoulder with his own. “Paper and plastic worked well enough, Cowboy.”
Levon snorted, bumping Joe back. “Asshole.”
Gibbs eyed both of them. “Some day you’ll have to tell me what the hell that’s about.”
“You come visit, and we just might.”
Tony wasn’t sure if that was added incentive or not, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Gibbs made a point of asking when he came to Houston the next time. The man didn’t like unsolved mysteries.
“See if you can’t get the others to come with you,” Levon said.
Gibbs arched an eyebrow. “They’d be welcome?”
“Wouldn’t have offered if they weren’t.”
Gibbs shook his head. “I will never understand you.”
“Long as you understand you owe me one, you’re fine.” Levon grinned. Gibbs rolled his eyes but didn’t argue.
Tony snickered. Joe was right. Everyone ended up owing Levon.
Joe looked at Tony. “You ready to go?”
“I’m ready.” Tony was more than ready to go home. He nodded to Gibbs, getting a nod in return. Tony walked out with Joe and Levon, feeling no need to look back.
“You okay?” Joe asked, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulder.
“I’m good.” Tony smiled, realizing just how much he meant that. This time he was leaving with no regrets, with no pain or feeling of loss. His old teammates could and would be part of his future, but NCIS was his past. His life was in Houston now and he was eager to get back to it.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony says his good-byes.