“That went well.” Tony grimaced as he set his cell phone down on the coffee table.
“Sounded like it.” Levon’s tone was dry as he handed Tony a beer before sitting down on the couch.
Levon and Joe had gone into the kitchen ostensibly to give Tony privacy, but the house wasn’t that big, and Tony knew they were bound to overhear some of his conversation with Jenny. He wouldn’t have minded if they’d elected to stay in the same room. It wasn’t like they hadn’t already discussed his options and what he was going to talk to her about. He had never kept secrets from Joe and Levon. They were possibly the only people he could honestly say that about, and he wasn’t going to start hiding things from them now.
Tony sighed, sitting down in the recliner and taking a sip of the cold beverage. “I really thought she’d just give me the time off.” Time off to get his head on straight had seemed like such a reasonable request.
“You weren’t bluffing on the resignation, were you?” Joe asked, sitting next to Levon on the couch, casually draping one arm around his shoulder.
“No, I wasn’t bluffing.” Tony shook his head, more disappointed than angry.
Joe nodded. “Good.”
Tony appreciated his cousin’s endorsement. It was always nice to know someone else he respected thought he’d made the right decision, especially when he’d made his choice in the heat of the moment.
He hadn’t intended to just quit that way. But Shepard’s complete lack of understanding coupled with her being so focused on her own needs sealed the deal. He was done taking a back seat when it came to his own life. Obviously going above and beyond the call for her for months had meant nothing. It was just more shit like he got from his teammates.
It was always what have you done for me lately? And for her to think he didn’t know a lie when he heard one. Christ, did she truly think him that stupid? Things were not getting better at the office. His teammates didn’t trust him completely now. How was he supposed to keep doing his job when everyone around him second guessed his motives, intelligence, and ability? Tony could understand how they might feel resentment or betrayed about the La Grenouille case….but if anyone had the right to be resentful or suspicious, it was him. Shepard had played him. And it wasn’t as if the others could claim they’d been completely forthcoming about all aspects of their lives either. At least he had orders to keep things secret; they didn’t have even that much of an excuse.
Tony sighed. He’d given up or outright lost a lot in the past year and a half. They were changes he needed time to adjust to. Tony had simply wanted a chance to come to terms with how things were now. It was obviously more than Shepard was prepared to give him.
Tony’s jaw clenched. He’d meant every damn word about quitting. He wasn’t Gibbs. He did have more in his life than his job…or at least he had before he’d started working for Shepard, and the job consumed so much of his life. She shouldn’t have assumed NCIS was all Tony cared about. Or that no one else cared about him. Fucking bitch, Tony thought savagely.
Fuck his entire team too, just for good measure. He might be a bit of a goofball at work, but damn it, he wasn’t a joke. Four months he’d been responsible for them, but the first sign of trouble it was Gibbs they turned to. He pulled his weight, never let them down before or since, and not one of them had balls enough to look him in the eye and tell him he did a good job or admit to having any sort of faith in him or his abilities. He wasn’t looking for accolades, or a medal, but it was obvious McGee, Ziva, and even Abby didn’t think he was worth anything.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He would miss them just the same. They had been an integral part of his life. There was no denying that. And even being so shabbily treated, he hadn’t truly been planning to quit. A little time off, get some perspective, and get back into the game. That had been his plan.
“I wish it hadn’t come to this.”
“Ya can wish in one hand,” Levon said quietly.
“And piss in the other,” Joe added.
“It’ll be a sure bet which one gets wet,” Tony finished. He gave them a wry grin. They were right. Wishing didn’t mean much of anything. It was better to suck it up and deal with reality.
“I love you guys.” They grounded him the way no one else ever had.
”Feeling is mutual.” Levon saluted Tony with his beer. Joe just grinned at him.
“Not sure what to do now,” Tony admitted hesitantly. For all the jobs he’d left over the years, he’d never done so without knowing exactly where he was going next. It was almost overwhelming to think about what to do with his life now. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. Starting over sucked.
“Yeah, it does.” Joe’s agreement let Tony know he’d actually said the last part aloud. “But you don’t have to do it alone.”
“I know.” Tony smiled, grateful that he was in Houston, with them, when he’d made his stand. He wasn’t sure he’d have had the strength to resign if he’d still been in D.C. He would have worried too much about what he might be losing. Here at least he could focus on what he still had, and might be gaining.
“You going to hand deliver your resignation to her?”
“No.” Tony smiled. “It’ll piss her off more to just walk in and see it on her desk.” He’d considered just e-mailing it, but if there was one thing Tony had learned working for the government…it was always a best to back up everything with a hard copy. And his return flight put him back in DC late Saturday night. That was plenty of time to go to the office, drop of his resignation, his badge and gun. He could be in and out in under an hour and no one would even think it strange his showing up in the wee hours of the morning.
“Anything o’ yours ya need to get from the office? Personal stuff in yer desk?” Levon asked. “Be best to get that then, too.”
Levon was definitely right about that. They’d jerk his clearance the second his resignation became public knowledge. For all he knew Shepard had already pulled his clearance to prevent him from gaining access. He wouldn’t put it passed her to be that petty. But the security guards all knew him. It would be a piece of cake to get someone to let him in---he could always claim it was another clerical error. Like when administration declared him dead two years after he started working at NCIS and had locked him out of the building, computer system and everything else they could think of.
Tony did a quick mental review of what he had at his desk and then shrugged. “Nothing there I couldn’t replace.”
He kept things he enjoyed at the office, items that gave him a sense of ownership and marked the desk as his, but nothing of true personal significance. It was a habit he’d never outgrown after moving around so much early in his career. It was a lot easier to just walk out the door unnoticed if he wasn’t carrying a box of things with him. In the past, his relationship with most of his coworkers hadn’t always ended well. Better to just slip out unnoticed than be forced into any sort of confrontation. Or worse yet, in Tony’s opinion, to get trapped in some lingering goodbye that he didn’t want or need.
“Got a few things I’ll want to give away though.” He’d make sure McGee got his American Pie mug, Ziva could have his letter opener, and Ducky would get his Mighty Mouse stapler. He grinned to himself. It would be poetic justice to leave those items on their desks with a brief good bye note. They were after all the things they’d shown a preference for. And apparently all they cared about when they thought he was dead.
He had to give Gibbs back his medals. Tony was never sure why the former Marine had entrusted them to him in the first place. He figured Stan Burley had kept them before Tony was hired and keeping them was just one more responsibility that came with being Gibbs’ senior agent. Gibbs could give them to McGee or Ziva or maybe he’d just pass them on to Tony’s replacement. It really didn’t matter.
“What about your apartment?” Joe asked. “Do you want to pack that up yourself or have movers do it?”
Tony hesitated, thinking over his options. It was a foregone conclusion that without a job, he wouldn’t be staying in D.C. What he had in savings and the small trust fund from his grandmother that his father hadn’t been able to cut him off from was enough to live on, at least for a little while, but it wasn’t enough he could be unemployed indefinitely. Joe and Levon had already invited him to stay for as long as he liked when he’d simply been planning a leave of absence. But he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t object to him moving in for longer if he had to. He didn’t want them to think of him as a mooch.
“You are the only person who uses the guest room, Tony.” Joe gave him a pointed look, clearly knowing where his thoughts had been headed. “It is your room. And you can stay as long as you like.”
Tony felt his face warm, nodding his understanding. For as close as he was to Joe and Levon, their innate generosity still managed to surprise him at times. He simply wasn’t used to people giving so freely and expecting so little.
“Moving my stuff•“ Tony trailed off as he thought over which would be better, packing it himself or hiring it done. He’d acquired some things he’d prefer not to have someone else move. They were not necessarily fragile, but he didn’t want just anyone packing up his wardrobe or handling the lockbox he kept his guns in. And packing himself would save money.
“We could help ya pack everything, if you want,” Levon offered calmly. “Yer bringing it all here to store it anyway.”
Tony shook his head. “I couldn’t ask you to•“
“Ya didn’t ask. We offered.” Levon smiled, brown eyes sparkling with good humor. “Not like flying up ta DC and driving home would be a big deal. We could think of it as a road trip…without the site seeing.”
Tony stared at Levon. “But a plane ticket•“
“Won’t cost that much.” Joe pointed his finger at Tony. “And it will be money well spent, so I don’t want to hear any argument from you.”
“What about work?” Joe and Levon had a sizeable caseload. It wasn’t like they could just take a few more days off without someone objecting. Tony didn’t want helping him to cause them trouble.
“Beaumont won’t mind us taking another few days.”
As head of the Major Crimes Squad, Lieutenant Joanne Beaumont was Joe and Levon’s boss. She and Levon had been partners at one time before she’d decided she wanted to advance her career and worked her way up the ladder. Unlike Gibbs and Shepard, there had never been anything romantic or even remotely sexual between Levon and Joanne. He liked and respected her, and thought she was a capable, qualified leader. Tony knew they had an excellent balance between being their working relationship and their friendship. If he said she wouldn’t mind, then he was probably right. But Tony still wanted to be certain.
“She really won’t mind?”
“We got time on the books she been after us use up.” Levon shrugged. “She is always telling us to take the time allotted before she has to force us to take it.”
“I’m thinking she meant you should take a vacation” Tony sighed. “Helping me move isn’t exactly a vacation.”
“Ain’t something we do every day either.” Levon grinned. “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Leave me sitting around all day with nothin’ to do, and I’ll just get into trouble.”
Joe chuckled, ruffling the curls at the back of Levon’s neck. “Truer words were never spoken, Tony.”
“If you’re sure about•“
“We are,” Joe and Levon answered in unison, no doubt or hesitation from either of them.
“Okay.” Tony nodded. He smiled shyly. “Thank you.”
“Don’t have to thank us, Slick.” Levon made eye contact and held it. ”Yer family. Around here, we do for our own, because it’s the right thing to do.”
Tony could feel his face warm. Not for the first time did he consider himself lucky to have people like Joe and Levon in his corner.
“Can you get us seats on Tony’s flight?” Levon asked Joe.
“Should be able to book on line. As long as there is room still available.” Joe got up, heading for the room that served as a small home office.
To Tony’s knowledge, the office PC was Joe since Levon never used the computer at home. He wasn’t ignorant of how to use it, and from what Joe had told Tony, Levon was actually good with technology…when he wanted to be. Levon simply preferred to let Joe take the lead when it came to anything that required more than basic technological savvy. And since Joe was nearly as good as McGee when it came to computers, it made sense to just let him handle it.
They took the same approach to their finances. Levon was far better at handling money than Joe would ever be. So Levon was the one who made sure the bills got paid and the checkbook balanced. Tony idly wondered if he’d ever have a relationship that trusting and so equal.
Levon reached for the cordless phone that sat on the end table. “I’ll call a buddy of mine who works for a rental company. If they don’t have something we can use in the area, he’ll know who does.”
“This buddy someone else who owes you a favor?” Tony asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Nope.” Levon laughed. “Not everyone does, Tony, no matter what Joe says.”
Tony snickered. He had a feeling Joe was more right than not. Levon had a way of making people feel indebted to him without really meaning to. Tony certainly felt like he owed the blond a lot. Levon didn’t have to treat him like family welcoming him with open arms, or readily agree to let him stay, or offer to help him move.
“We get done with this, we’ll fire up the grill. Have us some steaks.”
Tony gave Levon an incredulous look. Steaks were something Joe and Levon tended to reserve more for special occasions or in celebration.
“I just burned some bridges, Cowboy.” And he was likely going to set fire to a few more by not saying good bye in person or letting his teammates take whatever last shots they wanted to get in. “That’s not usually the sort of thing you celebrate.”
“Burning the bridge means you got no other option than to sit and stagnate or move forward.” Levon cocked his head to one side. “You are moving forward. I’d say that’s reason enough to celebrate.”
“I’m moving forward with help,” Tony pointed out, not sure he warranted the praise he could hear in Levon’s tone. He thought he was weak. “Gibbs wouldn’t have needed any help,” Tony muttered.
“Gibbs never actually quit either,” Levon pointed out reasonably, his better than average hearing obviously picking up on Tony’s last comment. “Maybe if he’d had a little help, he’d have been able to really leave NCIS for good.”
Tony shook his head. “He was needed there.”
“No. It was more like he needed to be there or he’d have never come back at all.” Levon snorted. “They survived four months without him…safe bet they could have made it longer.”
“Might have survived but they didn’t like it.” The team needed a leader it could trust, and respect, and that clearly hadn’t been him.
“No one likes it when things change, Slick, but that don’t mean change isn’t good for ‘em..” Levon’s brown eyes focused squarely on Tony. “Change is constant. It’s better to be to roll with it than get run over by it.”
“You think I’m rolling with it?”
“I do.” Levon leaned forward. “In the time you worked there…you risked life and limb, heart and soul. Knowing when to say enough is enough isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s just good sense. And I really don’t give a shit what Gibbs would say about that.”
Tony laughed. Levon had never met Gibbs, and he’d made it clear he wouldn’t think much of him if he did. It was liberating for Tony not to be measured by what had become an impossible yardstick.
“Thanks.”
“Told ya, Slick, yer family.” Levon smiled. “O’ course that don’t mean you won’t owe me a stiff drink or two after we get done packing and hauling all yer stuff.”
Tony nodded, smiling back. A good bottle of Levon’s favorite whiskey, even at more than a hundred bucks a bottle, was a cheap price to pay. For what he and Joe had done for Tony, and had so willingly offered to do, a case of the good stuff would still leave Tony owing them.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony, Joe and Levon talk about what to do now.