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Abby stood in the kitchen, humming a cheerful heavy metal song under her breath as she made a coffee. Silly Australians â€" how did they live without Caf-Pow? She allowed her mind to wander dreamily and admittedly a little wistfully to McGee… She missed him, she realised. He was always so… Tim. She smiled and shook her head, then put the coffee down on the bench, wandering over to the window to look outside. It was such a beautiful day. Summer was such a nice time of the year â€" and she thought that Jason had gotten her a nice place. Even if it was temporary. She sighed, unusually down. Maybe she’d call the team. But first she wanted to finish her coffee…
“Abby.”
She smiled and shook her head again. She could have sworn…

McGee woke up, breathing heavily. Dreams often haunted him, but this one… He shuddered. He was too upset to even try and remember the details. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, and in an attempt to distract himself he sat up and swung his legs off the bed, stepping lightly onto the cold marble floor. Marble. What kind of hospital could afford that? Then again, it might have been fake. He glanced at Jason, who was sleeping comfortably on his right side, the arm that hadn’t been shot. That meant he was left handed. That was interesting…
Ah, the triviality.
He wandered down the halls silently for a while, and had finally decided to turn back when a soft voice beside him said, “Do you want to see Abby?”
He jumped violently and whirled around almost completely before realising that it was Jason, and that he was beside him and not behind. “Jason â€" I, uh â€"“
“You don’t have to explain.’ He chuckled. “I’m up too aren’t I?”
“I didn’t hear you.”
“I know.” He winked, then began walking again, in front of him now. McGee realised his eyes were drawn to -
He blushed and followed him, fixing his eyes on the back of Jason’s head.

The pair of then sat down beside Abby’s bed. She still had her pigtails in â€" McGee was shocked and saddened to see her like this. No smile, no bounce in her step… no makeup. He picked up one of her hands… and felt dizzy as he saw the burns and scars on her arms. She looked so… weak. Like the lightest touch -
He reached out automatically as Jason lightly touched her cheek as if to stop him. When she didn’t crumble before his eyes he relaxed a little and squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Has-”
“No.” Jason said softly, instinctively knowing what he was going to say. “She hasn’t so much as stirred for two weeks.” He sighed sadly â€" then froze. “Wait…” He picked up the report beside the bed. “This says she did. Just briefly…” He continued to study the report in the half-light, sitting on the chair beside the bed.
McGee left him to it, eyes fixed on Abby’s face. After a while he felt his eyes drift closed… he quickly opened them again.

He woke up to Jason shaking his shoulder gently. “Come on Tim.” He said quietly. “Back to bed before the nurses turn up… we’ll come back when Gibbs and co. get here okay? Pretend we didn’t visit. They might be hurt if we saw her first.”
McGee nodded tiredly, standing and following Jason back to bed.
-x-

“Tony.”
DiNozzo moaned softly and rolled over.
“Tony!”
“What?” Came the mumbled reply.
“Are we going to visit Abby or not?”
Tony was up in an instant, looking around the floor for his pants. “Right. Yes. Abby.” He stopped for a moment in his flurry of movement to glance back at her, then smiled. “Damn.” He murmured.
Ziva raised one eyebrow at him in silent question.
“You got dressed.”

Soon enough all four of them were standing out the front waiting for a taxi. Ducky was unusually silent, and Gibbs was stony-faced. DiNozzo seemed much more cheerful then usual, and Ziva looked... worried, almost. But she tried her best to smile, mostly for Tony’s sake.
“Why so dull?”
“What?” Ziva asked, looking up.
“What’s wrong?” Tony asked her gently.
Ziva shook her head, smiling. “Nothing.” She said quietly. “Just… you know. Abby… and being here… yeah?”
Tony seemed to sober up a little. “Yeah.” He agreed quietly.

They got into a taxi and were driven to the hospital. Despite multiple attempts to initiate conversation, the driver dropped them off with barely a few words in conversation. Gibbs paid and they went inside â€" to the dreaded waiting room.
It was another hour before they were let inside. First they went and saw McGee and Jason â€" both of whom were still asleep.
“Should we wait?”
“I don’t think so.”
“But Jason â€"“
“They’ll be fine. Abby might not be.”
“You know.” Jason said as he sat up. “I’m not asleep.”
“Oh.”
He yawned and got out of the bed, perfectly at home in the hospital-issue nightgown. He went over to McGee and shook him lightly. “We’re going to go see Abby now.”
McGee blearily opened his eyes, and nodded, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I’m coming.”

Soon the whole group of them were crowded into the ward Abby was in, Gibbs, Ducky, Ziva and Jason standing while Tony and McGee sat down.

“Abby.”
She turned around, and bit her lip. “No.” She whispered.
“Yes.” He grinned. “I’m glad to see you still know me… well. I’m not sure that it’s me you’re remembering…” He winked. “Oh, he loves you so much he’d follow you to the end of the world. It sickens me, you know.”
“Alex, what are you talking about?” Abby asked nervously, stepping back and gripping the bench with her hands, back pressed against it as if it might help. He had a knife…
“I’m not Alex.” He chuckled.
“You are!’ She protested, a little weakly to be sure. What was wrong with him? Stalker or not, she was scared…
“Nope. I’m Jesse.” He grinned, a maniac grin which made her stomach drop.
Her eyes were wide with fear. He could almost taste the emotion that was filling the room, he felt like he was the king of the world. At the very least… her world.
“I’ve always hated you.” His voice was a hiss. “But Alex… oh, no. But he doesn’t know about me. I’m all on my lonesome in here â€"“ He tapped his head “- at the moment.”
Before anything more was said he jumped forward right as she tried to duck. The knife didn’t pierce her skin, but the handle rapped her in the temple hard and she collapsed against the bench, hitting the back of her head as she fell â€" hard enough to cause bruising to her brain.
He looked down at her, then went over to the fire, taking out the hot iron.
“Now… now, you are going to pay.” He knelt down. “For everything you did to me â€" to Alex. To us.” He lay it across the inside of her forearm and watched the flesh around the poker boil and redden before he finally took it away leaving a horrible red and pink welt across her skin which was already blistering.
“I hate you, Abigail.”

“She’s dreaming.” Jason said softly, reading off the monitor beside the bed. “Stable. Well... that’s a good sign. She may well wake soon.” He leant against the wall, looking at his older sister. He loved her so much… it hurt him to see her like this.
Gibbs seemed to share his sentiment. He looked like he was about to cry â€" Abby was like a daughter to him. She was beautiful, she was his. And he missed her… even now, inches away from touching her pasty skin, she wasn’t there, there. She was just… there. He shivered at the thought.

They stayed until the lights went low and Abby’s face was cast into deep shadows. Dracula, awake â€" Tony thought wryly. She’d have loved that one. All she needs is a coffin… His eyes slowly drifted to Ziva. He was now reassured Abby would be okay. And despite how determined he was to find the would-be killer, his mind was wandering.
Sharp breath, a flash of cream skin, her hair crossing her face. Her eyes, oh her eyes… She was everything to him, she was just…she was perfect.
Ziva, I love you.
But he just couldn’t say it out loud.

Ziva, feeling his eyes on her, glanced at him and smiled, then looked back at Abby. She was still uncomfortable with the whole thing with Tony. She was scared, and she was ready to admit it.
I don’t know what to do. He loves me, but what if I’m not enough? What if… what if I just can’t do it?

McGee too was silent, staring at Abby. His eyes were uncharacteristically unreadable as his pupils unwaveringly lay on her face… She may as well have been sleeping. No, he amended. There was no way she was sleeping. There was no way. She looked too still, too pale and clammy, too… frail.

Abby lay on the bed, absolutely oblivious to the painful thoughts she was causing those around her. Her chest rose and fell shallowly and her eyes flickered beneath her lids.

A doctor joined them, looking disapproving of the crowds around her. “Excuse me.” He said curtly, finding a path to her bedside and looking at all the monitors. “I’m afraid it’s time for you to leave, this many people can do her no good. Out. Out!”
-x-

Jason and McGee remained behind that night, and the next after each visit from the rest of he group. Of course they had to evade doctors and nurses, but beside that they were virtually uninterrupted.
It was on the third night of their vigil â€" the fourth night after getting back â€" that Abby made a turn for the better. By that time they’d both been discharged with the orders not to use their hand or arm too much, and were therefore basically unable to visit except during the day.
So Jason took them to his house to save time. He lived close to the hospital â€" within walking distance, at least. It was a huge place, on the verge of being considered a mansion. There was an individual room for all of them bar two, and though Jason offered to take the couch Ziva and Tony waved him off, telling him they didn’t mind bunking down in the same room and that he needed a bed to rest his arm. So Jason accepted reluctantly, knowing they were right…

“Tony?” Ziva whispered after the night’s carousing.
“Yeah Ziva?”
She snuggled up to him, not minding that the sheet slipped off her a little as she pressed up against him. Her hair fell across her face and she hummed softly under her breath, smiling. “I love you.” She whispered.
He grinned. “In what way, Ziva?”
She opened her eyes. “Tony...” She said disapprovingly.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“I love you Ziva. I love you… so much.” He fell silent, then whispered, “I can’t even begin to explain what you mean to me.”
“I’m not just a movie quote?”
“Well… I dunno. That ‘whistling is easy, you just put your lips together and blow’…”
“Tony!”
“Sorry.”

McGee, in the next room over, didn’t hear what was going on one room over. He was lucky. But his thoughts were on Abby and Jason. Typical he’d be attracted to the whole family…
I don’t know anything anymore. Nothing’s set in stone… I can’t decide anything. He sighed softly, staring at the ceiling. The calming blue walls made him feel a little better… he’d chosen this room especially. Blue was such a nice colour. He hadn’t noticed the symbolic choice of Red by Tony and Ziva.
My heart is with Abby. He realised. Abby... she was his light, she was just… He smiled and shook his head. Well. That was to say she was his darkness. His. He loved the sound of that…
His.
His…
His?
He groaned aloud and got out of bed, carful not to hurt his shoulder, still wrapped in a tight bandage,. It itched horribly but he ignored that and the stiffness, opening the door and walking downstairs on silent feet. He needed his laptop. Maybe Jason had wireless and he’d be able to connect up to an RPG site.

-x-

The next day McGee, Ducky and Gibbs had gone with Jason to visit the director of his agency â€" Australian Criminal Investigation. The director was happy to meet the NCIS agent Gibbs, joining the conversation with Jason, while Ducky was quickly sidetracked by swapping stories and tips with the medical examiner who worked there. McGee was immediately commandeered by the team computer nerds.

Meanwhile Ziva and Tony sat in the hospital room with the comatose Abby. They were currently making out. Ziva had protested at first, but Tony had won her over quickly and they now had their tongues in each other’s mouths.
“Ew, you guys!”
They jumped violently, head-butting each other. Tony wince but Ziva moaned and clutched her head. “Tony your head is like a rock.”
“It’s all the working out I do.”
“Or is it all the rocks you eat?” She shook her head and looked over at Abby â€" who was smiling, her eyes open.
“You â€" her â€" Ziva, no way.. and Tony… Ziva, Tony? Tony! Ziva?” She clutched her forehead. “I’ve lost you Ziva. You have been pulled in by the metaphorical seamonster…”
“Abby!”
“Sorry.” She winked.
“Can you remember anything?” Ziva asked worriedly.
“I’m pretty sure I can. But think about it, how would I know? If I’d forgotten that is. I mean if I’d forgotten I wouldn’t know, would I? Because I would have forgotten. No.. the last thing I remember is the lab fire, I remember being stuck down there… and Gibbs… wait, where’s Gibbs?” A touch of panic touched her eyes. “Oh god! And McGee? Ducky?”
“Abby! They’re all okay.” DiNozzo said quickly, eyes filling with pain. “But…”
“Don’t say anything.” Ziva said softly. “It will be too big of a shock to her system. She might be thrown into a psychotic episode or it may cause deterioration… to the condition.”
Tony stared at her, then sat down beside Abby, who was still fretting. “They got called out.” He said gently. “The director sent them to check the damage with the experts â€" they’re checking out how the fire started.”
“So they’re all okay?”
“Yes Abby. And â€" your brother’s here too.”
“Jason?” She asked, brightening immediately. “Really?”
He nodded slightly. The happiness on her face… it made him feel polluted to have lied, even if it was for the best.

“She’s awake?” Jason asked, horrified he hadn’t been there. What if something had gone wrong, what if she’d been scared and he hadn’t been there to protect her?
“Yeah, but…”
“She does not remember anything. Her mind is stuck in the past, to when the lab nearly burnt down.” Ziva said quietly, finishing for Tony.
Ducky nodded. “It’s very common,” He informed Jason. “Why, I remember once when â€"“
“Ducky,” Gibbs said tiredly.
“I’m sorry Jethro. Well Abby’s condition is, as I said, a common one. Often after a trying or traumatic experience the brain will find another excuse to be in fain or to be in the place they are and effectively block wipe everything that has happened since one such plausible even… just like you Jethro.”
“I don’t like to be reminded, Duck.”
“Sorry. But it should be temporary, just while her mind comes to terms with the, ah, traumatic experience.”
Jason wanted to scream at him. She is not a thing! He wanted to cry. She’s my sister, not a statue, not a textbook case!
But he didn’t.
He knew that this hurt all of them, not just him â€" especially McGee. He hadn’t said a word.
“However surprise or shock may restore her memory without further trauma.” Ducky added thoughtfully.
Jason shook his head. “I don’t want to risk it.” He said firmly. “No. If she doesn’t get better on her own within a few weeks, then we’ll try… alternate ways of bringing back her memory. Okay?” He looked at all of them, silently pleading that none of them would argue.
No one said a thing.
-x-
Chapter End Notes:
Abby is dreaming through the chapter.
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