After a morning spent indulging Abby and an afternoon spent indulging themselves Tony knows he should be relaxed and comfortable. The looming dinner with his father and stepmother weighs on him a bit too deeply for that to be the case. His father will likely follow his wife’s directive and mostly keep quiet. Jessica on the other hand is likely to make a heavy handed attempt at social interrogation.
“You’re over thinking this Tony,” Gibbs murmurs as he reaches around Tony to retrieve his razor.
“And you know that how exactly?” Tony grumps.
Gibbs kisses the back of his neck, “You look like someone ran over your dog.”
Tony sighs, “I’ve been thinking about the questions Jess is going to ask. Thinking about us from an outsiders perspective.”
Gibbs stops and really studies Tony at that, “What are you saying exactly Tony?”
Tony’s eyes go wide when he realizes what that may have sounded like, “Not that. I have absolutely no problems with us Jethro. I guess I’m just realizing how quick we’ve taken things.”
Gibbs wraps his arms around Tony and meets his eyes in the mirror, “How long had it been since you’d had an actual date before I kissed you breathless and told you we were going out for that Friday’s dinner because it was a date?”
“More than just a drink at the same table?” Tony muses on it for a minute, “Not sure. More than a year.”
“How long had we been having at least one private dinner a week together at that point?”
“Eight months.”
“Exactly.”
Tony snorts, “So making me steaks cowboy style and forcing me to cook for you was what, dropping hints?”
“More like hoping we could both make due with friendship.”
“So we were dating and both us were in denial about it?”
“Something like that. And we’ve known each other a long time, that always makes things more intense.”
“This where you tell me you married one of the redheads quicker than this?”
“Nope. Always wait until I’ve dated someone at least at year,” Gibbs quips. “It’s up to you what you tell them but saying we’ve been dating for over a year wouldn’t be a complete lie. We were certainly doing things that could count as dates.”
“For the record you did a much better job after you admitted they were dates.”
“Had it on good authority that cooking for your date and curling up in front of a roaring fire are both quite romantic.”
Tony laughs and relaxes completely into the embrace. “Where are you taking me for our anniversary then?”
“If I can get us out of Abby’s clutches I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
Turning his head for a kiss Tony notes the slight stubble burn he gets from the action and gently ends the embrace, “If we don’t get moving we’ll be late.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After some clumsily maternal questioning from Jessica Dominic steps in, “You didn’t mention you were seeing anyone when we spoke on your birthday Anthony.”
“Have I ever told you such a thing?” He shakes his head, “You’ve never given a damn Dad, and I’ve never felt the need to inflict you on anyone.”
“How exactly is telling me you’re seeing someone inflicting me on them?”
“You want me to be blunt and speak my mind for once?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, anger getting the better of him, “You’re a mercenary bastard who cut me out of your will when I was child to protect your assets and your life when I chose to help others not myself. Exposing even the existence of someone in my life to you is exposing them to your regard. What you really want to know is how they affect you. Well the answer is really simple in this case, how it affects you is not at all. Jethro and I will come around to visit my sister or brother but you don’t even have to be there. I’m an adult and I sure as hell don’t need your approval. If you suddenly decide it somehow benefits you to have a gay son keep me out of it. I will never be your press piece, do I make myself clear?”
“Anthony,” Jessica calls gently, “Please do calm down.”
Gibbs takes Tony’s hand but addresses Jessica and Dominic, “If it’s honestly Tony’s welfare you’re concerned about in all this I can assure you there’s nothing for you to worry about. The years we spent as friends gave us a strong foundation of trust and respect. I will love and protect Tony until the day I die, or the day he demands that I leave his life. And should I be stupid enough that he makes the demand that I leave Abby will step in to beat me over the head before mediating the dispute most likely in Tony’s favor.”
Tony gives a weak laugh and pulls Gibbs’ hand up for a kiss, “I think she’d back you actually Jethro.”
“Not if I screwed up. She loves you too much to let me get away with anything that doesn’t make you happy.”
Dominic is watching them contemplatively as Jessica smiles as though looking at a basket of kittens. He draws himself to his full height before speaking, “You’ve been together long enough for Anthony to get that close to your daughter?”
Tony fields this one with more composure than before, “I’ve know Abby almost as long as I’ve known Jethro. We share a love of B movies and poorly written actions flicks. As much as she’s been a presence throughout our relationship she’s also a friend of mine in her own right.” He catches his father’s gaze, “I will never expect her to see me as a father figure, she has two of those already. That being said she is family, I will always love, respect and support her.”
“I’m sure she knows how very much you both love her and appreciates it,” Jessica offers a little shakily.
“You’re family too Jessica. Especially now, and I would love to try to establish a friendship between us. Because surely you know that trying to establish yourself in a parental role in my life is a little absurd, don’t you?”
“It did always feel heavy handed to try and behave that way,” She allows.
“So don’t.”
“This is the choice you’ve made for yourself then Anthony?” Dominic asks in the following silence.
“Yes Dad. This is the life and the family that I’ve chosen for myself. Jethro, Abby and being an NCIS Special Agent. If you can accept that maybe we can find our way to speaking terms again too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They don’t discuss dinner at all when checking in with Abby, not that either of them has much chance with Abby’s excited chatter filling the room. Only once they’re alone together does Gibbs ask, “Are you ok?”
“I’m good,” Tony’s answer is truthful and just a little questioning.
“You let him get to you back there. That doesn’t happen often.”
Tony rubs his eyes, suddenly tired, “He’s always known how to push my buttons.”
“Gonna let me in on which one this was?”
“He was implying that we were lying to get under his skin. That I was pretending to be someone I’m not to get his attention. He’s accused me of it so many times… And this time he had to know it wasn’t true. Hell he met you by walking in on us making out.”
“I admit I can’t claim to know the man at all but from what I’ve seen Dominic DiNozzo thinks the entire world revolves around him. Even the way he never refers to Jessica by name proves it. Everything is about him.”
“I know. And I know his issues are his alone and have nothing to do with me. Doesn’t stop him from having the ability to piss me off like nobody’s business. But I meant what I said to him all the same. If he’ll accept the life we’re making together maybe we can get back on speaking terms. It‘s an old story, I love my dad I just don’t like him very much.” Feeling that he’s said enough the last two days, and hoping for some reciprocity he pulls Gibbs down on the bed and comments, “We never did get around to you telling me why you don’t get along with your dad.”
Gibbs sighs and pulls Tony close, “We never really got along, no specific reason. At first we were just too different. But when Mom was alive we managed. I always knew he loved me, still do truth be told, but that wasn’t enough to make us see eye to eye. After Mom died every decision I made was wrong. The points where before Mom would intervene became shouting matches that left both of us out of sorts for weeks.” He pauses to kiss Tony and take a deep breath, “Final Leroy, Dad’s best friend and business partner, took over as our mediator. He was pretty good at knowing when to side with who and when to stop the fight from even starting.
“I was just shy of my seventeenth birthday when Leroy caught me making out with Kevin Jones rather than working on my car like I said I would be. He sat me down and we had a long talk about hard paths. I guess he saw me a little more clearly than I did myself. Dad nearly decked him when he found out later that Leroy knew and didn’t tell him. I’d never seen them fight before that.
“Dad asked if I wanted to get a reputation for ‘that sort of thing’ the day he found out. When I told him I didn’t give a damn about my reputation he went on for three days about not being selfish. Started talking about how it was fine and well for me to do whatever the hell I wanted but didn’t I even think about what I was doing to Kevin’s reputation? This was after he’d started chasing off anyone I dated by the way.
“When I told him Kev and I weren’t dating, just lending each other a helping hand in a long and dateless summer you’d have thought I burned the store down. Leroy finally told him he was being a jackass. Couldn‘t manage to keep me from joining the Corp or Dad from making an ass of himself with Shannon be he sure tried. Might have even been able to keep us from becoming estranged if he’d lived long enough.”
He buries his face in Tony’s neck a moment before going on. “In the end it was a straw that broke the camel’s back sort of thing, only the straw in question was the size of a sequoia. The whole estrangement that is. He brought a date, not a new wife or girlfriend, a date to the girls’ funeral. He couldn’t have the fucking respect not to treat it as some social occasion.”
Tony drops his head to it’s habitual perch on Gibbs’ shoulder, “I’m sorry I brought it up.”
With a gentle finger Gibbs tilts his head to make eye contact, “I’m not. For the first time in a long time talking about the girls is a good thing. Because I know you understand that who I was and who they were to me is an important part of who I am and who you are to me. As for the stuff about my dad I offered to tell you. All you did was pick when. And it’s best you know before we’re sitting at a table with him.”
“Then can I ask one more thing?”
“Anything Tony.”
“Is this going to ruin your chances of making up with him? That you‘re with me?”
“He never had a problem with me being bisexual after that first fight so I don’t think so, but if it does that’s his problem. I’m not hiding or giving you up in my own damn home Tony.”
Tony smiles an acknowledgement, “You know back when we started spending time together off the clock I would have called someone a liar if they told me we’d talk this much.”
“When you only knew me as your boss we wouldn’t have. If there was one thing fighting with Jackson my whole childhood taught me it was that words have power, and sometimes it stems from withholding them.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby arrives at the house the next morning while Tony’s off getting some more clothing and holiday movies from his apartment. “Pop?”
He calls back “I‘m in the den.”
When she enters the room he’s moving books and small decorative objects off the center shelf of the bookcase closest to the new TV.
“Sudden urge to organize?” She teases.
“I’m not having company with the leaning tower of DVDs on the floor.”
A glance toward the TV confirms that the stack is now knee high. “Wow. Um, I didn’t realize-”
Gibbs cuts her off, smiling, “Think he’s finally decided ‘slow’ means moving in piecemeal, and after clothing the DVDs are the top priority.”
“Other way around,” Tony announces from the doorway. “I’d be happy naked but entertained.”
“And you need your DVDs for that?”
Tony laughs, “You can’t entertain me 24/7.”
“Fair enough.”
“Besides, you like watching them with me.”
“Some of them,” Gibbs concedes.
“Want me to finish this? It’s my mess.”
“We’ll be in the kitchen,” Abby announces immediately and pulls her father away.
“What’s on your mind Baby girl?”
“Grandpa Jack arrives tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we’d have lunch, clear the air before the big day…”
“Chester propose after we left you last night?”
She punches his arm, “You know what I mean!”
He sighs, “Just the three of us, at or near the hotel.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby hangs around for about two hours reviewing the menu and game plan for Thanksgiving day before offering her father and Tony each a kiss on the cheek and leaving. When she’s gone Gibbs seeks Tony out in the den and finds him dusting the books individually with a soft cloth. “Tony?”
Tony smiles at him, “Did Abbs actually leave or just go to her car for her list?”
“She left this time. There some reason you’re dusting?”
He blushes, “I know I don’t live here or anything but I feel like any mess they find around here is automatically going to be attributed to me.”
Gibbs grins at that, “Which is why I took a page from your book and hired someone.”
Tony studies him in mild disbelief. Gibbs values privacy despite habitually leaving the door unlocked and the idea that he’d invite a stranger to pick through the house and by extension his life seems, frankly, a little ludicrous.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had the kind of company that would care about the dusting and frankly I don’t want to waste a whole day of our vacation doing it. But at the same time I’m not about to have some stranger change our sheets and pick through our laundry. The only thing upstairs on my list for whoever they send is the guest bathroom.”
“Which service did you hire?”
“Speedy Clean.”
Tony nods, “So I can stop this now but I need to make sure to wear pants around the house tomorrow.”
“You damn well better.”
That earns a pleased kiss, “You’re cute when you get all possessive.”
“You’ve said yourself that you’re mine.”
“And you’re mine. Didn’t say there was anything wrong with the possessiveness.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby is frankly quite relieved that they’ve made it though the meal without raised voices or stony silences. So much so she misses the change in Jackson’s bearing when he squares his shoulders and instructs, “So tell me about your boyfriend then.”
“What is it you want to know Dad? Who his parents are? What my intentions toward him are? His stats as a running back for the Buckeyes? His favorite color? His most embarrassing childhood memory?”
“You could answer all that?” Jackson sounds a bit impressed.
Which actually seems to please Gibbs, “To start with.”
Jackson nods, “Actually I was thinking more along the line of what’s so special about him you’d abuse your position to have him though.”
“Because it just couldn’t be that our personal and professional lives are simply separate things.” Gibbs shakes his head, “I should have known you’d do this. Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Jack. Just to be clear, Tony pursued me. Not all that aggressively, but persistently. We’d been flirting the entire five years and about eighteen months ago I got it in my head that a little platonic companionship would settle him and stop tempting me to throw the rules out the window. So we started having dinner together on Fridays. One of us would cook, we’d have a few beers and talk about anything at all that wasn’t personal or particularly important. It was nice, safe, comfortable. But it didn’t stop him flirting with me or the pointed references to true love and soul mates when other people hit on him. And when I was honest with myself I was relieved. So I bit the bullet, kissed him senseless, and took him out on an honest to god date.”
“You were lying to me!” Abby protests indignantly when he pauses uncertain as to whether to continue or not.
Deciding facing Abby is less volatile Gibbs asks her “How is any of that me lying to you?”
“I kept telling you that you belonged with Tony and you kept telling me you were better off as friends when you knew the whole time that wasn’t true.”
“No I honestly thought friendship was enough. And maybe I was a little afraid of him getting what he was after and being disappointed.”
“Oh Daddy,” She scolds fondly, “Tony is completely in love with you.”
“I know that now Baby girl.” At the look she give gives him he chuckles, “You’re somehow surprised I’m dense all of the sudden?”
“So you do love the boy then?” Jackson’s question is a little pointed, like it’s the one he’s been working up to.
“With all my heart,” Gibbs intones quietly.
“That’s all you had to say.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His father’s reaction to the simple and honest admission that he loves Tony rocks Gibbs more than it perhaps should. So much so that he’s still thinking about it on the drive home. About halfway there he comes to the conclusion he hasn’t said it to anyone else that mattered to him before. Dominic DiNozzo certainly didn’t count. “Have I been hiding him?” He doesn’t realize he’d asked the question aloud until Abby responds.
“I wouldn’t say that. You told me, Ducky, Liz, Jackson.”
“Not that we’re together,” He’s hesitant to discuss it even though he’d brought it up. “That I’m serious about this, that I love him.”
“I knew, but no, you never did actually say so.” She notes his expression and continues, “But Tony knows you love him.”
“That I’m sure of.” He murmurs absently and she takes it for the dismissal of the topic that it is.
“You and Jackson got along pretty well,” She tries instead.
“I’m not as angry as I thought I was. I’m still hurt that he disrespected the girls that way but as long as he’s respectful of Tony I think we’ll get through it.”
“He seemed surprised that was why you were mad.”
“I was angry over a lot of things at the time. Mom or Leroy would have made us talk about it but left to our own devices as we were, there was no chance of either of us starting that discussion. Although I did think I shouted it at him at some point.”
They both let the silence settle for a few blocks before Abby declares in a sadly wistful tone, “I know it’s silly but sometimes I, well, sometimes I miss them.”
He watches her in concern for a few seconds before asking, “How so Princess?”
“When you tell me or Tony about your life with them it’s obvious how much you loved them and how much you loved life when you had them. Even when you’re talking about losing them you just light up. When it comes down to it maybe what I really mean is that I miss the idea of them, of being part of that happiness. That family.”
He pulls over and hugs her tightly without a pause but considers his words carefully before speaking, “They would have loved you just as much as you would have loved them baby but that’s not what’s important. I can’t turn back time, I can’t give them to you. And I love you differently than I did Kelly but that would have been the case no matter what. When I talk about loving my girls and keeping them close that includes you. It may not be what I wanted when I was twenty two but the life our little family has is exactly where I want to be. But I am sorry if you don’t feel the same.”
Abby stiffens clearly alarmed, “That’s not what I meant Daddy. I love my life I just-”
He hushes her with a gentle finger to her lips, “You just want that too.” She nods.
She bites her lip and declares softly, “But that’s why you and Grandpa have to make up. You never know what will happen tomorrow and what chances you’ll lose.”
He hugs her again, “I get it Abbs. I promise. And I will continue to make an effort with Jackson but you have to realize he’s not at the top of my priority list by a wide margin.”
“He doesn’t get one of those coveted spots above work, then?”
“Only you and Tony do.”
Chapter End Notes:
Because the annoyance caused delayed this chapter I am going to make a statement I usually wouldn't: If your review has to do with the formatting not the content do not leave it. I write in book format. I post in the same. That will not change. Thank you for the concern.