Chapter One
He’d been bored; playing online while Gibbs had been working on the boat. They were supposed to spend a weekend together, just him and Gibbsâ€"and the boat. But Tony had gotten tired of sanding and logged into the game McGee played. He’d been quietly checking it out for a long time now.
Tony couldn’t explain why he did it. Maybe he was feeling a little deprived, maybe it was just sheer boredom, but he began creating a character he named Claire. And within a couple of hours, he was chatting up McGee, his cock hardening under the warmth of the laptop.
“What’re you doing there, Tony?” Gibbs asked. Tony swore the man could smell testosterone in the air.
“Just messing around with the laptop.”
Gibbs’ gaze turned hooded and he flicked his eyes to Tony’s crotch, which was hidden. “With women?”
Tony was able to answer honestly. “No.”
“Good,” Gibbs said in a near purr that had the hair at the back of Tony’s neck standing to attention.
They’d been adapting to a routine, Gibbs working on the boat, putting the finishing touches on the cabin. For weeks Tony took what he'd learned about the game, the training sessions he'd done, and parlayed them into a strong character. He was starting to get a reputation in the gaming circles.
All the while, he was getting into the role of Claire, and getting more and more interested and emotionally involved with McGeek. Gibbs didn't know about it, only that Tony was playing a game. He probably wouldn't have understood anyway. Gibbs' way of burning off energy was to work with his hands or work out. Running, sparring, working on the boat, even whittling, those things made Gibbs happy. He'd never settle in front of the computer and fight other worldly creatures. The most Tony could hope for was Gibbs reading a book and that usually only happened just before bed, the reading glasses slipping on and giving Gibbs a completely different look.
Tony had to watch himself at work when Tim morphed into geek speak. It was far too easy to agree, to nod in understanding even though he didn't dare. And thankfully, Gibbs never let on that he knew Tony was playing games. For all Tony knew, Gibbs thought he was playing solitaire or online poker. It wasn't as if anyone at NCIS knew about their relationship as it was. Gibbs wanted to keep that strictly between them and Tony didn't mind. Rule Twelve and all that.
But he had a problem he was keeping from Gibbs. It had gone well beyond a joke now and into “I need to see him” territory. Tony had it bad for Gibbs, but he was starting to have something for McGee as well. Something he couldn't explain or describe, but something that drew him to Probie in new and somewhat scary ways.
They'd been cyber friends for a while, Tony easily taking on the female persona. He understood women well and rationalized that in his relationship with Gibbs, he was more the woman than the man anyway. He was not the top, would never be the top even if Gibbs let him play at it sometimes. Not to say that he was female or feminized at all, but a blind man would have known who was the Alpha male in the relationship and who his faithful sidekick was. Tony was perfectly happy with their roles; he didn’t want to be the one in control of the relationship aspects. Not with Gibbs anyway.
This had gone on for months now and things were starting to become tense between Tony and Gibbs. More and more nights Tony caught Bossman looking over at him, sadness in his eyes. Gibbs seemed to be deep in thought a lot and Tony knew the bossman had an idea something was wrong. It was why he stayed home a couple of nights a week, offering a new excuse each time, trying to squelch the flash of pain at the look in Gibbs' eyes. It was as if Gibbs knew he was losing Tony.
The cisis point came when Tony as Claire asked McGee out for a drink. He asked McGee to go to a club that catered to all lifestyles down in Richmond. Tony hadn't figured out how it was all going to work...but he couldn't resist. As it was, Claire had been telling Tim that she had some secrets and that she was conflicted. Tony had no idea how involved McGee was, but he suspected that Tim had reached emotional involvement level too. And that made it so much harder. Tony hated the idea of hurting McGee.
Times like these, Tony didn't know where Claire ended and DiNozzo began, emotionally anyway. Claire had a lot of his qualities, the ones he hadn't shown anyone in many years, the ones Gibbs and Abby had wormed out of him by sheer force of will. And right now, Tony wasn't sure he cared where Claire ended and DiNozzo began. He just knew he had to figure this out for his own health and peace of mind.
He wasn't being disloyal to Gibbs, not exactly; at least that was what he told himself as he applied a little bit of eye makeup on. Tony knew he wasn't thinking clearly, but he couldn't find a way through this. Maybe he could come clean to Probie and they could start over, or Probie would deck him, or...
This could never work and Tony knew it, but he was compelled to see it through. He looked at his appearance in the mirror one time, styling his hair and nodding in approval. White shirt, brown suede jacket, blue jeans. A little eye shadow and liner because he could pull off the glam thing sometimes. And it was getting mainstream anyway.
Closing the front door to his apartment had its own sense of finality. Whatever happened, everything would change tonight. Tony just had to hope that he didn’t screw everything up. If McGee got so pissed he went to Gibbs or quit, Tony stood to lose everything. And yet he couldn’t stop himself. His shrink called this his self sabotage complex. Tony usually liked to think of it as living on the edge.
Tony had to fight the urge to call McGee, to offer him anything if he'd cancel the date. But then again Tony DiNozzo didn't know McGee had a date, only Claire Brown did.
Tony pulled into the club’s parking lot and nodded in satisfaction. There were a few people outside, which made for a likely good crowd inside. He'd been hoping for the best, couldn't imagine what it would be like if things went down in an empty bar. That wouldn't be comfortable at all. At least with a crowded place, he could take off if it got uncomfortable. McGee would only think he’d been stood up.
Tony was an hour early by design and he walked around the exterior of the club, making sure everything was in order. He had no reason to do that, only a law enforcement officer's sense of self preservation. Satisfied that everything was fine, Tony melted into the shadows.
"Tony." The softly spoken word made him jump out of his skin and he whirled to find Gibbs there, blue eyes brimming with emotion and sadness.
"Jethro," he began, swallowing hard. "I..." What the hell could he say?
Gibbs jerked his head to one side. "My car. Full disclosure."
Tony had never seen that look in Gibbs' eyes before, that mix of sadness and pain, the vulnerable way he was working his lip between his teeth. Jethro Gibbs wasn't supposed to be anything but bulletproof. He wasn't supposed to have these kinds of emotions. He wasn't supposed to hurt like this. And Tony was never supposed to hurt him.
The pain of his own betrayal was almost a physical blow to Tony. Yeah, he and Gibbs weren't exactly exclusive, but they still had something between each other, something special, something...unique. And just because they hadn't uttered the words didn't mean that Gibbs might be more serious about it than Tony had thought. Gibbs had always allowed Tony his out, but Tony realized when he saw that look in Gibbs’ eyes that he’d been completely mistaken about Gibbs’ emotional investment in them. Gibbs was intensely involved and Tony’d just betrayed him.
They didn't say a word as Gibbs walked to his car, Tony trailing after him. Even though Gibbs' walk was purposeful, the way his shoulders were rounded and the way he looked down said a hell of a lot more. Gibbs always had perfect posture and this defeated gesture was almost as hard to take as the pain in Gibbs' eyes.
And there had been pain in Gibbs' eyes, Tony had seen the glimpse before Gibbs masked it. It was entirely possible that Tony had seen more pain in Gibbs than most people. Bossman spent so much of his life walled off from everyone. It had taken a lot of time and effort to get inside, and now Tony had the feeling that the door had closed behind him, never to be opened again. And he’d caused that! God, he was such a complete asshole for hurting Gibbs and an idiot for screwing this up.
Tony settled in the passenger seat, wondering how he hadn't known that Gibbs had followed him. It seemed kinda silly now that he thought about it. Him driving down the highway, the law enforcement officer with no idea that he was being tailed by his boss. At least it would have been amusing and ironic if Gibbs hadn't been the one being hurt. Tony would do anything to fix this, to change that look in Gibbs’ eyes. But Gibbs wasn’t a fan of apologies and hated betrayal even more.
"Who ya picking up tonight, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked quietly. The question was delivered without anger or fury, just a gentle request for answers. That bothered Tony more than anything else. He could deal with Gibbs' anger and fury with a lot more ease than he could this.
"Someone..." Tony wasn't ready for this, didn’t know what to say.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said in that same gentle voice. He cupped Tony's chin in his hand, forcing Tony to stare into his eyes. "Don't I have a right to know?"
Tony shrugged, closing his eyes so that he didn't have to see the pain in Gibbs’. "Guess so," he whispered.
"This a blind date or she know who she's meeting?"
"He," Tony corrected automatically and Gibbs stilled. Tony almost forgot how to breathe as he realized Gibbs was working it all out in his head.
"You met someone--a guy-- on the computer and you're coming down here to fuck him. You made a choice and it was him rather than me, right?" Even now, Gibbs wasn't accusatory.
"Not quite."
"What is it then? Make me understand." Tony had never heard Gibbs this quiet outside of an interrogation room, but Gibbs wasn’t accusing, which made it so much harder.
Tony opened his mouth and words started tumbling out. "I was playing the online game. The McGee thing. You know. Elf Lord and all that. And I started to...I don't know, Gibbs. I don't know and don't ask me to describe it, because I can't, but I kind of...started..."
"Started what, Tony?"
"I made a character in the game, a sorceress. She's not a newbie any more. And the character...well, me. I started talking with McGee, just casual stuff. But then it got more intense and I..."
"You what?"
"I set up a date with him, Boss. Here, tonight. He thinks he's meeting a girl named Claire."
"But instead..." Gibbs trailed off with a sigh. His thumb ran over Tony’s cheek and he released his chin. "Hell, DiNozzo. You really screwed up this one."
"I know." Tony fell silent then, staring at his hands and blinking back his own emotion. “I never meant to screw things up. I just…needed.”
“Attention.” Gibbs said with a heavy sigh and Tony had the feeling that the bossman had been through this before. “And you need more than I can give.”
“Not like that, Boss. Not breaking up or…”
“Aren’t you?” Gibbs asked quietly. “Been pulling away for a while now.” He pulled in a breath. “We’ll talk about us later on. How do you feel about him? Are you trying to humiliate him, Tony?”
"No, Gibbs, I..."
"Tony, this can't go well. Whatever intentions you have, you've humiliated and deceived McGee. How do you expect him to take it when his online girlfriend becomes his male coworker?"
" I think he’ll punch me in the nuts," Tony said quietly. "Boss, I screwed up so badly with both of you, and I don't know how to fix it."
Gibbs let out a huge sigh. "You trust me, DiNozzo?"
"Yeah, Boss."
"You trust me to help you with this?"
Tony nodded.
"Not sure I should but..." Gibbs sighed heavily, deep in thought, clenching and releasing the steering wheel.
"Okay, Tony. Here's the game plan. We're down here because we're dating and we wanted an out of the way place."
"We're what, Boss?"
"Dating. Down here, you and me."
"We're outing ourselves?" Tony asked quietly, knowing his eyes had to be wide.
"We're outing ourselves," Gibbs affirmed. "You have a problem with that?"
Tony shook his head. "No, Boss."
"And you heard someone mention this place and you looked it up on the computer. It interested you, and you convinced me to come down here for some drinks and dancing. When we realize McGee's date stood him up, he can join us."
Tony blinked a few times in shock. "You're helping me with this scheme, Boss. This is not like you. Why?"
Gibbs regarding Tony at length, sighing. "Because I don't want McGee hurt, DiNozzo. And because I know you well enough to know you got in over your head. And..."
"And?” Tony prompted, but Gibbs didn't say any more. He didn't need to. Tony could read the truth in his eyes. Gibbs had deep feelings for him. Even though Gibbs hadn’t said the words, Gibbs was completely invested.
"I'm a complete idiot,” Tony muttered, moving closer, needing to touch Gibbs.
"Yeah, but you're my idiot," Gibbs affirmed quietly. "And I'm not letting you go, DiNozzo. Not now. Not for a damned long time. You try something like this again and I will whip your ass so raw you'll think the spanking your dad gave you for the Halloween costume was a picnic. But I’m not losing you. Not unless you really wanna be lost deep down inside. Understand me?"
"Yeah, Gibbs."
“You wanna be lost deep down inside, Tony?”
“No,” Tony whispered, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry, Gibbs.”
“I know,” Gibbs replied. “Now let’s make it better.”
Story Notes:
Notes/Warnings: Threesome, slash, kinky (slight domination, threesome, clubbing, makeup on boys)
Special thanks to Carina for the sanity read and Hilde for the beta!
Written for the Kink BigBang Live Journal community.
Author's Chapter Notes:
When Tony befriends McGee anonymously online, he sets into motion a chain of events that could destroy everythingâ€"his job, his relationship with Gibbs, and the trust between his team. A wild impulse could make or break him.
Chapter End Notes:
Notes/Warnings: Threesome, slash, kinky (slight domination, threesome, clubbing, makeup on boys)
Special thanks to Carina for the sanity read and Hilde for the beta!
Written for the Kink BigBang Live Journal community.
Special thanks to Carina for the sanity read and Hilde for the beta!
Written for the Kink BigBang Live Journal community.