Lisa raised her eyebrows in surprise when she saw her friend lean over to kiss Gibbs before getting out of the dark sedan. Sarai waved as Gibbs sped off, and sighed when she noticed Lisa waiting for her by the door. The brunette’s smile only grew when she spotted the love-bites that Sarai had done her best to cover up. “Not important my ass.” She announced, crossing her arms. “Let’s hear it.”
“Hear what?” replied Sarai sweetly, deliberately provoking her friend.
“Damnit Kyra!” exclaimed the younger woman. “You can be so evil sometimes!”
“His name is Jethro.” Laughed Sarai, taking pity on Lisa. “I have known him...” Sarai frowned, counting back the years. “A very long time.” She finished, deciding she didn’t care about the actual number.
“Is he good?” asked Lisa pointedly, pushing the classroom door open.
The two women stepped inside and Sarai dropped her bag on the oak table. “At what?”
“You make girl talk really difficult, you know that?” sighed Lisa. “Is the sex good?”
Sarai shrugged vaguely. “It’s nice.”
“You’re putting out for sex that’s just nice?” demanded Lisa incredulously. “Honey, you’re going to have a problem if that’s true.”
“I just do not really see why you want to know about my sex life.” Replied the Israeli, grabbing a piece of chalk and starting to write on the board.
Lisa sighed. “I don’t. What I’m interested in, is my friend’s life in general, and since this Jethro is a new part of it I’m interested in why.”
“He’s not a new part.” Sarai flushed a little as she turned away from the board and sat down on the edge of the table. “We were together about eight years ago as well, but...he got called back to DC and I could not see a way to leave Israel.” She bit her lip thoughtfully, flashing back to the day she’d left Russia, the plane trip that she’d spent in silence trying to convince herself that she’d done the right thing.
“Called back?” asked Lisa curiously. “What, is he a Senator or something?”
Sarai shook her head. “A federal agent, NCIS. Just goes to show, I guess. Raise a girl in chaos and she falls in love with a cop.”
Her laugh had the slightest bitter tang to it, but Lisa was too focused on the earlier part of the sentence. “Whoa, in love? Kyra, that’s...” The TA struggled to find the correct adjective. “Those are big words, use them carefully.”
“Believe me Lisa, I do.” Sighed Sarai. “Let’s continue this conversation later, alright?” She glanced pointedly at the students that were beginning to trickle in, most looking half-asleep and like they’d rather be anywhere else.
Lisa nodded. “I think you need a better cover-up by the way.” She teased lightly, tapping her own neck to make the point. Sarai glared at her and she laughed, pulling a small container out of her purse and setting it on the table. “I always keep some around. You might want to step out before class starts.” Sarai rolled her eyes at her friend’s back and pulled out her class sheet.
She paused, glancing at the little bottle on the table and grabbed it, striding out of the room. “Oh, shut it.” She muttered to Lisa as she walked past the giggling younger woman.
Sarai was curled up on the couch with her head in Gibbs’s lap, neither of them really paying that much attention to the show they had on. “What made you decide to leave, Raz?” asked Gibbs, watching her face cloud over with something he couldn’t quite read.
“I shot someone.” She replied quietly.
“What was different about it?” he asked, puzzled.
She was silent for a minute before answering. “When I pulled the trigger, I did not feel anything. Not regret, pride, revenge, not shock. Taking his life felt the same as taking a step, like something unimportant that happened every day. And my sister was there and when she looked at me, I knew she could tell, and it scared her to see me like that. I just turned and walked away, left her there, came to Quantico. And that’s when I realized I had never really meant to go home at all. I had not taken anything with me, I had visited my youngest sister’s grave before leaving Tel Aviv, I had even considered calling you.” She glanced up at him apologetically. “No one knows where I am, and I don’t intend to let them find out.”
“I guess that means no one at work can find out either.” Sighed Gibbs. “Because of Ziva and Jen.”
“I hear she is Director now.” Murmured Sarai. “She’s got the head for it, I suppose. Are you up for more secrets, Jethro?”
“Depends.” He replied dryly. “Am I keeping for you or for Jenny?”
She smiled, slipping her hand into his. “Me.”
“Then yes, I absolutely am.” He petted her dark head gently. “I promised I’d keep you out of it, and I will. So, how do you like being a teacher?”
She stifled a laugh at the change of subject. “I find it very entertaining. I am teaching twenty year olds the PR version of things I was involved in. It is quite ironic, don’t you think?”
“I think it’s perfect.” He agreed with a smile. “Who better to teach the subject after all? Just don’t go trying to teach them what really happened.”
“Damn, that was why I took the job.” Teased Sarai. She reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes. “Are you staying tonight?”
He nodded. “Whatever you want Razi.” He promised quietly.
Four months later.
The last few months had been very different from the first few. Lisa had noticed the change and she was quite pleased for her friend. The Israeli had spent her first three months in Virginia either in her classroom or at her apartment, but then the boyfriend had arrived. Aside from that first conversation where she’d gotten his name, Jethro, Lisa hadn’t managed to get anything more out of her friend about the man. But he was by no means invisible. Lisa had seen the two lovers around town and he would drive the professor to work every morning and pick her up every afternoon, he just never seemed to stick around for an introduction. It actually worried her. She may only have met the Israeli a few months earlier, but she and Sarai had become fast friends, and men who weren’t interested in meeting friends were often not interested in anything real, at least in her experience. So when she recognized her friend’s mystery-man in the store, she made her way over in a very nonchalant fashion. “So you’re Kyra’s new friend.” She observed brightly, putting herself right in his way.
Gibbs looked up, surprised and momentarily confused by his lover’s alias, but his face lit up with understanding when he recognized Lisa. “I guess you could say that, yeah. Lisa, right?”
The brunette nodded. She was vaguely impressed by the aura of dominance and power that surrounded him, recognizing the pull to obey this man’s orders. “I guess she’s told you about me. Nothing too awful, I hope.”
“She says you’ve been a great help since she got here.” Replied Gibbs. “And a great friend. I’m guessing from your position,” he gestured towards the way she was blocking his path. “That she hasn’t told you anything about me.”
“Good guess.” Replied Lisa sweetly. “Kyra’s my friend, and I’d like to know something about the men in her life.”
“That’s very admirable.” He said, amused. “I’m not sure what you’d like to know, though.”
She shrugged carelessly. “Oh, you know, the basics. Do you have a job, are you married, any history of insanity in the family, that kind of thing.”
“I see.” Laughed Gibbs. “Well, yes, no, and I don’t think so. It’s nice to know Kyra has someone looking out for her.” He didn’t like using the other name, but he knew he had to.
“Just one more question.” Prompted Lisa.
He nodded. “Shoot.”
“Why don’t you ever stick around? You seem to always be in such a hurry to get in and out.”
“You think I’m not involved because I haven’t spent any time with Kyra’s friends.” Realized Gibbs.
“It did cross my mind.”
He cast her a curious glance. “My job doesn’t leave me very much free time, it’s not a flexible schedule, so I haven’t really gotten to meet any of Kyra’s friends. But I can assure you that it’s not because I’m not serious.”
Lisa smiled, semi-appeased. “Good. Then you won’t mind my saying that if you hurt her, I’ll give you a clip you’ll never forget.” And with that, she disappeared into the store.
Gibbs considered this and chuckled to himself, heading for the check-out line. Having been through four marriages and three divorces, he’d heard such threats before, but he had to admit that the petite brunette had certainly come up with a new way to make them.
“So, I’m officially your boyfriend now.” Commented Gibbs vaguely as Sarai dropped kisses down his chest that night.
“What changed?” she laughed, nestling into him.
He reached down to pet her dark hair contentedly. “Your friend, Lisa, she cornered me at the store today and threatened me if I ever hurt you. Somehow, it’s a little more intimidating coming from someone who’s a good foot shorter than you.” He added thoughtfully. “She was quite matter-of-fact about the whole thing, I’m actually pretty sure she’ll do it too.”
“How sweet.” Murmured Sarai, stifling laughter. “Really quite unnecessary though.”
“I’d be terrified to break your heart.” He agreed. “But apparently she was worried that I was just playing around because I haven’t stopped in to say hello when I pick you up from work.”
Sarai rolled off to lay beside him and tucked her body up against him. “I guess you will have to visit then.” She said lightly.
Gibbs played with her hair quietly for a while, lost in thought, before he finally spoke. “How long are you planning on waiting before you say it, Raz?”
She glanced up at him curiously. “I love you Jethro.” She said softly, pressing her lips to his shoulder.
He turned a little and kissed her gently. “I know that. You’ve said it every day for the last four months. I wasn’t talking about that.”
“I do not have anything else to say.” She said quietly, knowing it wasn’t true.
“This,” He pressed his hand flat against the faint rise of her belly. “Says differently. When were you going to tell me?”
Sarai pushed away, getting out of bed and pulling her nightgown over her head. “I was going to save you the disappointment.” She replied, unable to look at him. “I will lose it anyway.”
“You were a spy before, Raz.” He laughed. “Stress causes miscarriages, and I highly doubt that being a college professor is anywhere near as bad.” She dragged her fingers through her hair, folding one arm under her breasts and muttering to herself in Hebrew. He sighed and got up, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his hands on her belly. “Isn’t it worth a shot, baby girl?” he asked gently, kissing her neck. “Did you want us to just date and make love for the rest of our lives, or did you want something more? We’ve been making love for four months with no protection, I figured you wanted this.”
“Do you?” she asked uncertainly.
“I’d thought about it, yeah.” He replied slowly. “The way I pictured it, I’d at least gotten you to move in with me first, but yes, I want us to be a family, and kids would’ve been a part of that at some point.”
She turned in his arms, doubt and fear in her eyes. “Your last three marriages have ended in nasty divorces. I do not want to be just another alimony Jethro.”
“Please?” he asked quietly, putting on his most pleading face, the one that had never failed him yet where the beautiful ex-spy was concerned. “Just trust me, Razi. Let me take care of you.”
Her expression softened and he knew he’d won. “I will make an appointment to see the doctor.”
He tipped his forehead down to hers, smiling gratefully. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.” He assured her, touching his lips to hers for just a second. “And I’m going to take really good care of you and our baby, I promise.”
“You are making a lot of promises, my love.” She warned softly, her eyes still full of doubt. “Do not make more than you can keep.”
He showed up at the college in the middle of one of her classes, leaning against the wall with an amused smile as he listened to her lecture on the history of relations between America and Iran. He had to suppress laughter at some of the questions the students asked, especially the ones that were meant to get a rise out of her Israeli temper. She handled them well, and he realized that she had been taught to keep her cool and to be a diplomatic politician. It impressed him and he began to wonder just how many talents she’d built up over the years. When the class ended and students approached Sarai with last-minute questions and conversations, Lisa stepped over to Gibbs, glancing at him approvingly. “You took my advice.” She observed.
“You made your point well.” He replied, nodding. “The last thing I’d want to do is lose Kyra because I was too proud to take advice.”
Lisa smiled at the deferential tone and politely disappeared as Sarai made her way over. She leaned up to kiss his cheek, a soft smile on her lips. “My handsome marine.” She murmured as he tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “What can I do for you Jethro?”
“Try this on, see if it fits.” He replied carelessly, tossing her a small box.
She opened it curiously and froze. “Wha....” she stared at the ring, astonished. “You....I do not....” People were beginning to notice the look on her face and she masked her shock carefully. “Are you proposing?”
He gave her one of his signature lopsided smiles, crossing his arms nonchalantly. “Not the most romantic proposal in the world, but I figured you’d be less likely to argue with me over it here.”
Sarai chewed on her lip thoughtfully before plucking the ring out of its box and slipping it onto her finger. “Perfect.” She smiled up at him, more delight shining in her eyes than she was allowing to show anywhere else.
“You have very talkative eyes, baby girl.” He told her, pleased. “Have I ever told you that?”
She laughed gently and looked down, folding her arms over her belly. “No, I do not think so.”
“Ah, well you do, and they talk more now than they used to.” He replied. “I can tell you right now that I’ve never seen anything but good things in these eyes. And I promise I’m not going to let that change.” She could read the double meaning in his words and he wiped the tears away with his thumb. “Okay?”
She nodded and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “Thank you.” She muttered, her voice thick with emotion. “Now go, I have to find a way to stop crying before my next class.” She pushed him back gently, biting her lip. And he gave a tiny wave to her and Lisa as he headed out.
Lisa was at her friend’s side in a second, snatching her hand up and staring at the delicate white-gold band with a small ruby on it. “Oh my God.” She breathed. “It’s beautiful. Only four months in and he proposes.”
Sarai tried to control the giddy feeling rising in her chest. “Eight years.” She corrected, barely aware of her surroundings.
Lisa glanced at her friend curiously for a moment. “What was that thing about the eyes?” she asked.
Sarai paused, almost wanting to tell the truth, but she held her tongue. “In Israel, it is mandatory for every citizen to serve two years in the military after they turn seventeen. Jethro and I....We were together shortly after I finished serving mine and....” she closed her eyes briefly, curling her fingers around the star at her throat as she pushed back the memories. Lisa’s face clouded and then cleared with understanding. “I am not proud of what I did, but war does not leave you many options. For a long time, though, I couldn’t look in the mirror without seeing a monster. Sometimes I still do. He understood, more than most, what it was like to do something you hated to protect your country, and he understood what it was like for me to leave.”
“Did you two serve together?” asked Lisa. It was the first time she’d gotten Sarai to talk about her past and she was very curious. “I mean, did you ever end up assigned together?”
Sarai nodded, her eyes and mind far away from the classroom, in Queens, in Russia. “I was just a teenager the first time we met. He’d seen me on duty once, and I guess he was curious, as was I. But I was just a child to him at the time.”
“I guess so.” Agreed Lisa. “If you were seventeen, he’s definitely more than a year older, that would have been dangerous.”
“Not in Israel.” Shrugged Sarai vaguely. “Seventeen is the age of majority there, but he would have thought it dangerous, yes. I did not see him again for several years, he had joined NCIS and I was still deployed, so we never crossed each others’ paths. When I was twenty-one, I wanted to see the world from the civilian side of things and there he was, just as sweet, just as curious.” She glanced up at Lisa, suddenly back in reality. “It was the only stupid, thoughtless decision I have ever made, and I don’t think I have ever regretted it.”
“You went home with him?” Lisa was incredulous. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” agreed Sarai quietly, twisting the delicate band on her finger. “Stupid, reckless, and impulsive, everything I had never been able to be. And then I fell in love and got scared. I went home, to my father, and I tried to forget, to prove it was not real.”
“That’s so sad!” fawned Lisa, awed by the story. “It’s just like a faerie tale. True love, star-crossed lovers, a tragic end and a second chance, it’s beautiful! What does your family think of all this?”
Sarai looked away, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully. “I have not spoken to my father since I left Israel. My father and I....We had a disagreement about how I should live my life. I tried to help my sisters as best I could, but it was too late for me to do anything, so I did not stick around to watch. Mamá and I fell out when I was sixteen and I ran away from home, so no one really knows about Jethro, but I know they would disapprove.”
Lisa frowned. “Don’t you think you should tell them you’re getting married though? I mean, whatever happened between you couldn’t be that bad could it?”
“Bad enough for me to not tell them where I was going when I moved.” Replied Sarai shortly. “It is better for everyone this way.”
“Why don’t you ever talk about your past, Kyra?” asked Lisa curiously. “It seems like it would be better if you did, let out some of the feelings you’ve got all bottled up inside.”
“I talk to Jethro.” Sarai began walking back toward the front of the classroom and Lisa followed. “But I am not nearly as interesting as people seem to think I am, I just don’t like to dwell in the past, it distracts me from the present.”
“Well,” observed Lisa, taking the note that Sarai was done talking. “The present is looking pretty good for you right now. A good job, a good man, good friends, what more does any girl really need?”
“You look quite pleased today Jethro.” Observed Ducky curiously as the glass doors swished closed behind Gibbs.
The agent dropped into his old friend’s computer chair with a smile on his face. It was the day after he’d proposed, and he was really looking forward to this new life. A case had kept him out very late last night and his now-fiancé had already been asleep when he’d gotten to her apartment, so he’d left a note on the table and gone home. “I ever tell you about Moscow, Duck?” he asked thoughtfully, itching to share his good news, but not sure whether he should or not.
“I believe it did come up once or twice.” Replied Ducky.
“What’d I tell you about the agents on the case?”
“That one was Director Sheppard and the other was Callen.” Ducky glanced over, more interested than ever now, and pulled off his latex gloves. “Why?”
Gibbs waited for him to shut off the tap before replying. “We’ve been friends for a long time now, haven’t we?”
“Yes.” agreed Ducky, puzzled. “We have shared much, but I get the feeling that there is something you haven’t shared.”
“I trust you Duck, but some secrets you have to be especially careful with. I don’t want to screw this up, you know?”
The ME leaned against one of the stainless steel tables and crossed his arms. “I would never betray a confidence Jethro.” He assured his friend. “What’s going on?”
The agent was quiet for a moment, deciding. “I’m getting married.” He said finally.
Ducky burst out laughing and Gibbs glanced at him sharply. “Oh.” The Scotsman was surprised. “You’re serious. Well, my dear Jethro, that certainly seems like more of a reason for celebration than secrecy, unless there’s something I don’t know.”
Gibbs got up, clasping his hands behind his head as he paced the length of the autopsy room, and turned back around to face the ME. “She’s incredible, Ducky. Beautiful, smart, one hell of a fighter, and a temper to match anyone’s. She’s a teacher now, works down at Waverly.”
“But I take it she wasn’t always.” Observed Ducky.
“Yeah.” Gibbs nodded. “She used to be a spook. At least sixteen years, probably more like twenty. You know how that business is, once you’re in, it’s damn near impossible to get back out. I promised not to let her get dragged back in.”
“Thus the secrecy.” Agreed the Scotsman. “So why bring it up with me?”
Gibbs sighed. “I need somebody at work to know.” He replied. “In case something happens, you know? I don’t want her to have to find out over the news if I....” he trailed off but Ducky understood.
“I’m honoured that you chose me.” Said Ducky. “And I shall take my job very seriously. Do I get to meet this lady?”
Gibbs smiled, relieved. “I can ask. Would you like to?” When the other man nodded, Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and dialed.
‘Hello Jethro.’
He smiled at the sound of her voice. “Hi. I was wondering if you’d mind having a guest later this week.”
He could hear the panic in her voice when she spoke. ‘Who did you tell?’
“Just Ducky.” Soothed Gibbs. “I wanted someone to know, as a precaution, and he’s my best friend, he won’t tell.”
She sighed. ‘I understand. Alright, when could he come?’
“Friday?” Gibbs was asking both of them at once, and Ducky nodded again.
‘Sounds good.’ Replied Sarai. ‘Do you think you’ll be out late tonight?’
“Shouldn’t be. We haven’t got any cases so far and shift’s over in another couple of hours.” He promised.
‘Good.’ She sounded much more pleased. ‘I will make dinner tonight then. Bye my love.’
He smiled. “See you soon Raz.”
She hung up and he pocketed the phone, glancing up to see Ducky watching him curiously. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this Jethro.” Commented the ME. “She must be quite special.”
“She’s....” he shook his head thoughtfully. “Razi’s something else, Duck.”
Ducky saw the look in his eyes. “There’s another reason you chose to tell me this, isn’t there?”
“I’m worried about her.” Admitted Gibbs quietly. “I think something happened that she won’t talk about, and I’d like to find out if there’s any trouble there. Do you think you could sort of look into that when you come over?”
“Of course.” Agreed Ducky kindly. “I shall be glad to.”
Sarai laughed as his arms closed around her waist, hands sitting gently over her belly. Gibbs kissed her cheek softly, watching her cook. “I’m sorry about earlier.” He murmured. “I just really needed to tell somebody and Ducky would never tell anyone. I wanted to make sure that if anything happened to me at work, you wouldn’t have to find out through the news or have to go talk to one of your contacts again. Are you angry with me?”
She smiled and transferred the food from the pan onto a plate. “If you trust him, so do I.” she reassured him gently. “But please do not talk like you expect something to happen, I do not want to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, baby girl.” He promised. “Just being thorough. So, what does your incredible talent for knowing things tell you about Ducky?” he teased.
“Doctor Donald Mallard.” Recited Sarai, amused. “NCIS’s medical examiner. Mid sixties, used to live with his mother who is in her late nineties and in the last stages of dementia, but he put her in a care facility recently. It really was for the best, and he does enjoy his freedom. Like Abby and yourself, he’s one of the best at what he does, and his services have been requested many times out of house. He is studying to perform psychological autopsies as well as physical ones, and he has a gentle manner usually but will occasionally lose his temper. What did I miss?”
“Nothing I can think of.” Replied Gibbs, impressed. “How do you do that?”
She turned around in his arms, kissing him softly. “It was once my job to know things.” She pointed out, picking up the plate. “Open.” He opened his mouth obediently and she fed him one of the pieces she’d just finished making.
He’d discovered very quickly that she was actually an excellent cook, and he’d gradually become accustomed to trying new things. “That’s good.” She smiled, pleased, and he released her. “So, how many more months do you have on your lease here?” he asked casually.
She glanced up from serving out a couple of plates. “I pay by the month, I was not sure that I would be able to stay long enough to warrant a lease. I figured that if I was still here by the end of the year then I would get something more permanent.”
“I think you should move in.” said Gibbs. “It’s only a little farther from the university.”
“You are really serious about all of this, aren’t you?” she realized, setting down the plate.
“Completely.” He agreed. “I wouldn’t have proposed otherwise.”
She bit her lip gently. “I worried that it was because I was pregnant.” She admitted. “That you were just being kind. Or that...I was a replacement for Shannon and Kelly.”
“You’re not.” He promised, rubbing his thumb across her cheek comfortingly. “When I saw you that day, in Moscow, I don’t know what happened, but something made me look at you differently. And then you looked up at me with those damn eyes of yours and that sweet face and you asked me what I was thinking and if I’d like to come home with you. I shouldn’t have done it, any of it. It made no sense that I didn’t just turn you in right then, but I didn’t and then it was too late.” He set her arms around his neck, tipping his forehead down to hers. “You looked so pissed that afternoon, and it was the most gorgeous and adorable thing I’d ever seen.”
“No one had ever said something like that to me.” She told him quietly. “No one had ever been so blunt or so kind. It annoyed me, because I thought I had you all figured out and then you surprised me anyway. I did not know what to do with you.”
He smiled, amused. “And when I finally got my act together and realized that you loved me and that I loved you too, I felt like I shouldn’t be so lucky, but I was going to be selfish enough to hold onto you anyway. Yeah, I miss Shannon and Kelly, but that’s no reason to hurt us both by pretending I don’t love you. I want to wake up every day and see you there next to me, and I want to know that I’m the one who gets to piss you off by looking after you, okay?”
She laughed, tears in her eyes, and kissed him softly. “I would like that.” she murmured. “So, I take it you want Ducky to be coming to your house this Friday.” He nodded firmly and she smiled. “I guess I’d better start packing then.”
Sarai was just finishing a few last minute details when the front door opened and Gibbs and Ducky came inside. The older Scotsman blinked in surprise when he saw the young woman with her back to them. He glanced at his friend sharply and Gibbs shrugged apologetically. “Would you like anything to drink Dr. Mallard?” she asked, her soft voice startling him with its clarity as she turned around to face them, tucking a lock of hair back behind her ear.
“No thank you my dear.” He replied, getting over his initial reaction.
She held out a hand to him. “Razi.” She introduced herself.
“Ducky.” He said, doing likewise. He made an old-fashioned bow over her hand and she smiled, blushing a little. “It is a pleasure to meet such a lovely young lady.”
“Is it a requirement for NCIS employees to be so charming?” she asked, amused.
“Only the Medical Examiners.” Replied Ducky, eyes sparkling with laughter.
“I see.” Laughed Sarai. She gestured for the two men to follow her. “Dinner will be finished in a couple of minutes if you’d like to sit down. No guns at the table Jethro.” She reminded as she disappeared into the kitchen.
He rolled his eyes and put his Sig in the top drawer of the side table. “I’ll bet she’s still carrying hers.” He muttered, more to himself than Ducky.
“I’m not at the table, now am I?” she called from the kitchen.
“Busted.” Laughed Gibbs to Ducky. The two of them sat down at the table and Sarai came back out with a couple of plates. She handed one to each of them and then went back for her own. She set it down on the table before pulling out her seven-shot.
She snapped out the clip and locked the trigger, dropping both pieces in the drawer with Gibbs’s, and sat down. “I take it he knows, then.” She said to her fiancé, taking a bite.
“That you used to work in the intelligence business, yes.” agreed Ducky. “But not that you were an Israeli. Ex-Mossad?”
“Kidon.” Sarai nodded grimly. “Not the most pleasant side of the business.”
“I will admit, my dear,” said Ducky kindly. “You’re not what I’d expected by Jethro’s professional description. I pictured someone....” he paused, trying to come up with a way to say it delicately, but she said it for him.
“Older?” she smiled. “You are a doctor, how old would you say I am?”
Ducky was taken aback by the question. “Well, I would not dream of doing such a thing, but if I had to venture a guess, I would say...no more than thirty-five.”
“And you would be right.” She told him conspiratorially. She watched the shock spread over his face as he counted and realized that Gibbs had given him a number to work with.
“But, my dear girl, that would have made you no more than....”
“Ten years old,” She finished for him. “When I took my first assignment. Nothing about my family was particularly...conventional. A bastard child with an Israeli father, an American spy mother, and a marine grandfather. I suppose the simplest way of saying it would be that my birth sort of...slipped through the cracks. There’s no better ghost than one who has never existed.” Even Gibbs was surprised by this comment. He’d never heard her speak so bluntly about her family before. “But really, that’s all in the past now. Have you had any interesting cases cross your desks lately gentlemen?”
“We had a sailor who turned himself into a super-marine.” Replied Gibbs thoughtfully. He saw Ducky’s glance and shrugged. “Oh really, Duck, Mossad will already have the case from Ziva, and who else is she going to tell Duck?”
“Careful, love.” Said Sarai quietly. “Asking such questions invites answers, and I’ll thank you to have a little more respect for Officer Davíd. She is a good woman, and loyal to a fault. Not to Mossad, never to Mossad, but to the people there that she cared about. It is a loyalty that she has transferred to you and your team.” Gibbs looked properly abashed from the scolding and she took a careful sip from her glass. “My apologies for being so blunt, Ducky.”
The ME dipped his head, respectfully acknowledging the power he read in his hostess. “I don’t suppose you have any stories to tell from your time in Israel.” He asked, tactfully changing the subject back to the topic he’d come to observe.
She thought for a moment, and then her face lit up with amusement. “My little brother and sister, they...didn’t always agree to say the least. Michael would have done anything I said, no matter what, but my sister, she was much more headstrong. We were in London, the four of us, and Michael and I were trying to figure out how to approach our contact without tipping off his friends. By the time we looked up, the girls had come up with their own plan and they had the poor man three blocks away from the rest of the group, probably thinking he was the luckiest bastard alive. A couple of very friendly Italian girls who snuck away from their big sister and brother-in-law.”
Ducky chuckled at the story. “I would guess that your sisters got an earful for that little escapade, if not from their brother, then certainly from their big sister.”
“Michael did the honours.” She smiled. “Scared the hell out of contact, the man was convinced that he’d thoroughly pissed off an Italian businessman, and my sisters never really crossed Michael after that.”
“They’d never crossed you to begin with.” Observed Ducky.
“I went easier on them then some of the other agents.” Replied Sarai thoughtfully. “I think everyone did, really, which may have been a mistake. The three youngest, they got places because of our father, Michael got places despite his father, and I....” she paused, whetting her lips. “I did not have to fight nearly as hard as Michael did, but it certainly wasn’t easy for me.”
“How many siblings do you have, Razi?” asked Ducky, surprised by the seemingly-growing number.
She shrugged carelessly. “Three at any given time, I suppose. Until I left. I abandoned Michael in Israel and my youngest brother and sister are both dead, which really just leaves the two older girls, my sister and I.” Suddenly, she looked up at Ducky, curiosity in her eyes. “Are you trying to read me, Doctor?”
He nodded, apologetically. “I’m afraid I am rather, my dear. It was really just too fascinating an opportunity to pass up. It’s quite difficult though, I will admit. You, Ziva, and Jethro all seem to have a very good poker face. Is it something they teach you in the military environment?”
She watched him for a moment before going back to her dinner with a quiet reply. “You learn it there, certainly, but it is not something they teach. When you watch the people you trust most dying beside you, you learn to stop being afraid just long enough to tell them it will all be alright one last time. You put on a strong face and hope that they keep their faith in your promises right up to the end. You have to.”
“Yes.” sighed Ducky, his eyes turning from his young hostess to his friend and back again. “I can see how that would be the case. I suppose the only thing that can bring back our more innocent days is time.”
Later that night, Sarai got up to wash the dishes, but Gibbs caught her arm and shook his head. “I’ll get ‘em.” He told her. He squeezed her hand gently when she looked like she might argue. “You’ve been on your feet all day.”
She sighed and went out to the living room with Ducky, curling up in an arm chair across from the ME. He watched her intently for a while, and there was something in his expression that told her he’d finally gotten past her poker face. She leaned forward, murmuring conspiratorially, “You know, I could save you a lot of trouble if you would just ask the question you are afraid to hear the answer to.”
Ducky also leaned forward and matched her tone. “Who violated you, my dear girl?” he asked, his gentle manner and underlying protectiveness reminding her of her grandfather for some reason.
She leaned back without answering, and just then Gibbs came back into the room, handing out drinks to his fiancé and his guest. Ducky nodded to himself and settled back into his chair and Gibbs was left to wonder what exactly had occurred between them.
She stood, arms wrapped protectively around her belly, alone at the window and Gibbs watched her quietly. “You’ve never talked this much about your family, Raz.” He said quietly, concern in his eyes.
She turned her head to look at him for a moment before turning back to the window and rubbing her arms. “Ducky reminds me of Grandperé.” She murmured, half to herself. “I have been wishing I could talk to him lately. He always knew me better than anyone else, maybe because I never had to tell him anything, he was there for all of it, watching it happen.”
“He understood what was going on without your having to explain and relive all the memories.” Observed Gibbs. He came over and put his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. “Yeah, I know baby. You could go visit him, his grave I mean. It’s not the same thing, I know, but it might make you feel a little better.”
“I might do that.” She agreed softly. “He would have liked you, I think. You would have lost points simply for loving me, but he would have liked you anyway.”
Gibbs laughed quietly, kissing the top of her head. “It’s nice to know someone in your family would like me.” He said, amused.
“My sister likes you.” She whispered.
“Hmm?” He hadn’t quite caught her words.
She shook her head sadly. “Nothing.” She turned to kiss him softly. “Let’s go to bed,” she sighed. He nodded and guided her up the stairs and towards the bedroom. She moved around the room, familiarizing herself with it, as he stood in the doorway. A solid wooden bed-frame with a gold comforter over the sheets was the focus of the room, but there was an oak dresser and mirrored closet doors as well. Finally, she sat down on the edge of the bed, running her hand over the fabric absently. She felt his weight behind her, and his hands sat heavy on her shoulders as he moved his lips over her neck, enjoying the sound of her ragged breathing. He wasn’t all that surprised, though, when she pushed him back gently. “Not tonight Jethro, I am tired.” She murmured.
“Goodnight baby girl.” He petted her hair softly until she fell asleep, and for once she didn’t look peaceful with her eyes closed, she just looked small and vulnerable. He sighed and got up, heading down to his basement for bourbon and his boat.
Gibbs locked the glass autopsy doors behind him and sat down in Ducky’s computer chair. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re pushing your own boundaries a little too far with this one, Jethro.” Replied the doctor, not looking up from his autopsy. “The girl is a good decade younger than you and just as stubborn. Either your marriage will work out perfectly, or it will turn into your worst divorce yet.”
“That’s not what I meant Duck.” Sighed Gibbs, rolling his eyes. “My mind’s already made up on that.”
Ducky picked up his needle and thread and began sewing up the body in front of him. “I’m not sure I feel comfortable being used to help you read your fiancé, Jethro.” He said, finally glancing back up at his friend. “It just seems a little invasive. But, seeing as I’ve already done it, I may as well share my findings. I’ll give you a preliminary warning, however, I still have much to learn on this subject, so not all of my conclusions may be accurate.”
“I’ll bare that in mind.”
“Alright then.” The Scotsman set down his needle carefully. “A brilliant and determined woman, quite confidant in her own abilities, and well-aware that she’s even a little over-confidant. Loyalty means everything to her and she would rather die than betray someone she cares about. She does not expect that same loyalty from others, though, in fact she has a hard time trusting anyone outside of her immediate family. A family that she loves, but has separated herself from for some reason. The separation is only for her parents sake, though.” He added curiously, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back on the autopsy table facing his friend. “She doesn’t see her mother and father as parents, but more as friends and employers. Because of this, she seems to have taken on the responsibility of her sisters, perhaps to keep them from the life she lived. Her brothers she has less concern for, and I believe the one, Michael she called him, is merely metaphorical, a childhood friend that she shared something so personal with that she’s almost closer to him than she is to her blood relations. The other brother, she doesn’t seem to care for him much, or perhaps she just never spent much time with him. She’s a woman who has fought for everything she has, despite growing up wealthy, but she had no problem throwing it all away, which leads me to believe that she sees everything as temporary. I would guess that there was always something that took permanent things away from her, or perhaps someone. She hates herself for the work she did, probably because she enjoyed it so much and gave up everything she had for it, only to realize something that made her leave. She sees her leaving as a betrayal in itself to Michael and her remaining sister, but believes that she had no choice. And on the subject of betrayal, I believe that’s where her biggest problem lies. She feels betrayed, by her parents for forcing her into that life as a child, by someone in her old life that made her leave, and by someone else, someone who hurt her so much that she couldn’t find it in her heart to trust or to love anyone. Which brings us to you. She loves you very much and it terrifies her. She thinks of herself as damaged and a monster, and she can’t believe that anyone would love her, let alone someone who knew her when she was a spy. There are probably a thousand things she’s afraid to tell you because she thinks they’ll make you love her less, including the identities of her family. I would venture a guess that she’s afraid you would think of them as monsters and come to see her that way as well. The one thing I am quite certain about though, is that the loyalty that she values so much, she would put you before even her sister, she has put you first, and I would even guess that you are the source, direct or indirect, of the betrayal that made her leave Mossad and Israel.”
Gibbs was surprised by this thought, and he wasn’t sure he liked it much. He knew she missed her family and even her old lifestyle sometimes, and he didn’t want to be the reason she’d given everything up, even if it had brought her back to him. “Is there anything I can do to help her trust me?” he asked quietly.
Ducky considered this for a moment. “Well, the first thing I advise is be damn sure you want to marry her before you do, because another betrayal isn’t going to help her much, especially one from you, but then once you are sure.... Appeal to the more child-like side of her every now and then, before she started to become so jaded and hurt, because that will bring back the memories of that trust that children have in the world. Don’t treat her like a child, she’d hate that, but let the world be a innocent and simple for her every now and then.”
Three days later.
He would never understand how doctors could tell anything at all from an ultrasound machine, it just looked like a jumble of coloured clouds to him. He could, however, read expressions, and he did NOT like the one on the nurse’s face. “I wouldn’t recommend letting this pregnancy go through.” She said finally. “The chances of a healthy birth are....”
“Nonexistent.” Muttered Sarai, wiping at her eyes hastily.
“Actually, they’re pretty good.” Corrected the nurse. “You have a pair of very healthy twins in there, Ms. Davis. It’s your chances of surviving the birth that aren’t so good. There’s some damage, but it seems to have healed up fairly well and neither of the fetus’s will be putting direct stress on it.”
Sarai looked up at her, stunned. “I...I was told...My baby will be alright?”
The nurse nodded. “Two, Ms. Davis. They should both be fine. But you are a different story. There’s a very good chance that your body won’t be able to handle the pregnancy.”
The Israeli was quiet for a moment. “I don’t care.” She said, decidedly.
“Raz!” Gibbs grabbed her hand, immediately a part of the discussion. He glanced at the nurse. “What are the numbers, at least?”
“In her case? About sixty percent against.” Replied the woman grimly.
Gibbs leaned back in his chair slowly, rubbing his forehead. “No. Absolutely not.”
Sarai turned to him, eyes pleading with him. “Jethro, please....”
He shook his head firmly. “No. It’s not worth your life.” The nurse was both pleased and impressed with his resolve against his girlfriend, although it did cross her mind that maybe he was just relieved to have gotten out of fatherhood.
“I have held daughters in my arms that never got to breathe Jethro.” She said quietly. “And she says our babies will live. Think of what we will have.”
“I’m a little stuck on what those kids and I have sixty percent chance of not having, Raz.” He retorted, frustrated.
“I will be alright.” She promised gently. “I am always alright, remember?”
“That’s what I’m worried about.” He sighed. “What if your luck ran out when you came home, huh?”
She turned the full force of her eyes on him and he faltered at what he saw there. “Please.”
To the nurse’s surprise, he turned to her, a helpless look on his face. “Is there anything we can do to help her chances?” he asked quietly.
The nurse realized that he was completely wrapped around her finger and would do whatever it took to make her happy. She sighed, resignedly. “Do everything by the book, don’t do anything you shouldn’t, do everything you should.” She glanced at the Star of David around Sarai’s throat. “You’re religious?” Sarai nodded slowly. “Pray.” Added the nurse. “It would also be helpful to know what kind of accident you had that caused this damage, just in case.”
Sarai took a deep breath. “I tripped over my brother’s puppy when I was a girl, I was carrying a cutting board and knife to my mother.”
The nurse nodded and scribbled down the story. “Alright, well, the doctor will be in shortly.”
Gibbs leaned back against the doorframe, watching his fiancé scrub at the dishes. She could feel his eyes on her but refused to look up and kept washing. “You want to talk about this?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
“They told you that you couldn’t have children didn’t they?”
She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her palms flat on the counter. “Yes.” she replied softly. “After my last miscarriage, they said the damage was too bad and I would never carry past five months.” She started scrubbing again, more furiously this time.
“There has to be a better way to do this Raz, a way that won’t kill you.” He pleaded. “I can’t lose you.”
“I am not going to die.” She said shortly, gritting her teeth.
“You can’t know that.”
“But I do.” She folded the dishtowel around her hand carefully. “I say I will not die, and I won’t.”
“Oh, that’s logical.” He said sarcastically.
“What do you want from me Jethro?” she demanded, glaring at him.
“I want you to think about what you’re doing!” he exclaimed. “I want you to live! That’s what I want from you, is it really so much to ask?”
“I do not know!” she yelled, wiping her eyes as she turned back to the sink. She kept her eyes down and her body braced against the counter as she spoke carefully. “If there is a forty percent chance that I can have you and our children, than I am willing to take it. I have taken assignments with worse odds and this means so much more to me than any damn assignment.”
“But you could do something to change those odds, Razi.” He pointed out desperately. “When people say all you’ll be able to do is pray, that’s your sign to back up and make another choice. For once, please just listen to me!”
“Don’t you want this?” she begged.
He dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Damnit, that’s not fair!” he sighed. “You know I do, but not if it means losing you.”
She shook her head, a soft smile on her lips, and came over to him, sliding her hands over his shoulders. “I will be fine.” She assured him. “I do not know how I know it, but I do. I need you to...to just trust me on this, okay? If there is one thing I will always be able to do, it is survive, that will never change.”
For some reason, he was comforted by the quiet faith in her voice, finding the same faith in his own heart. He tipped her chin up gently. “You will do everything I say.” He clarified. “You’ll let me take care of you and...and make a lot of fuss and be all ‘better safe than sorry’ about it?” she nodded and he sighed. “Damnit, I’m whipped.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sarai and Gibbs figure out that life is full of surprises, and while you can expect the unexpected, it doesn't make it any easier to make the right choice when it happens.
Chapter End Notes:
Yes, I do mean the movie. One of my favourite quotes from the show. "You're normal people like the people from Oridinary People were normal people!" Words to live by if ever there were any.