**Dead Man Talking**
**April 25, 2004 -- Abby's Lab**
"Come on, Hotshot." Tony said, taking a bite from his apple as he headed for the door.
McGee hesitated, looking back to Abby.
"Need a place to stay?" She asked, smiling at him.
He started to nod as Tony reached the door and turned around. "McGee!" He shouted, pointing out the lab door.
The younger man rushed out the door, missing the look that Abby shot at Tony, silently warning the Italian to leave him alone.
The two men stepped onto the elevator and as soon as the doors closed, the older man flipped the emergency stop.
"You'd better keep your hands to yourself." He said, taking a step closer to McGee, chuckling when he backed up nervously. "She's got two bedrooms, and just so you know, I have a key."
"Wh...why are you telling me?"
"Just a warning. I don't wanna be forced to hurt you if I drop by to check in."
McGee flushed, his hands fidgeting nervously. "I...I didn't do anything last time. It was all Abby's idea!"
Tony glared at him, realizing how Gibbs must have felt only a few years earlier when Tony used a similar excuse in this very same elevator. "Oh re-he-he-heally?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at the sandy-haired man. "I bet Abby has a different story."
He watched as the borrowed agent visibly gulped. "Ah, don't worry about it, McGeek. She already told me all about you two." He leaned toward him and whispered in his ear. "Pretty hinky if you ask me."
"The hinky stuff was all her idea!"
"Ha!" Tony shouted, pumping his fist in the air as he turned the elevator back on.
McGee frowned. "She...she didn't tell you anything, did she?"
He smirked. "A well-trained NCIS agent is good at extracting information."
**Two Days Later -- Bullpen**
"Reminds me of the Crying Game."
McGee looked at the Goth curiously. "Don't know it."
"It was such a cool flick." Abby said, swinging her feet as she sat on the edge of Gibbs' desk.
Tony groaned, holding an ice pack to his head. "Abby, could you pick some other movie. Please."
"Oh! Um...Victor, Victoria?"
Tony looked up at her, trying to remember the premise of the film. "That was a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl?"
"Right."
"Yeah. That one's okay." He nodded, dropping his gaze back to the desk in front of him.
"I don't know...turning your plumbing inside out is kind of..."
"Hinky?" McGee offered.
"No, it's way beyond hinky..." She trailed, shuddering at the thought.
Kate grinned, looking over at the Italian. "Speaking of way beyond hinky, Tony..."
"Okay, all right, give it to me, Kate, I can take it."
"Okay." Kate took a few steps to Tony's desk and leaning her arms on it. "What was it like, tonguing a guy?"
Everyone was silent for a second, waiting for his response, when he dropped the ice pack onto his desk. "Forget it." He mumbled, standing up. "I can't take it." Grabbing his jacket, he headed for the elevator, pushing the down button.
"Tony, wait!" Abby called, excusing herself from the rest of the group and joining her friend as he stepped onto the elevator. "Hey."
"Come to make fun of me some more?" He pouted, watching the floor numbers above the door light up one by one.
The Goth reached over and flipped the emergency switch on the elevator, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked up at him. "No, actually, I didn't."
"Then what is it, Abby? I know I screwed up, okay? I don't need you to rub it in."
"You didn't know, Tony. Hell, no one did. That's how he got away with it."
The Italian attempted to reach around her and flip the switch back, anxious to go home and forget the day ever happened. "Don't you have some date with McRomance?"
"I can cancel. He'll be at my place when I get back. You need a friend tonight, what d'ya say? We'll go get a drink." She looked up at him with her puppy dog eyes, her dark lips forming a grin.
He thought about it for a second before shaking his head. "I don't think so, Abs."
She frowned, worrying the inside of her cheek as she thought of another reason for him to hang out with her. "I won't mention it again, ever ever." She promised.
Cocking his eyebrow at her, he reached for the emergency switch again, this time succeeding. She pouted, stepping back and standing shoulder to shoulder with him as the elevator moved toward the parking garage. Tony stepped out when the car reached it's destination, walking toward his Mustang.
"Tony! Wait!" Abby called, running after him. She jumped in front of him, blocking the door with her body.
He groaned, dropping his head back and staring at the ceiling of the garage. "Abby, come on. I really don't wanna deal with this tonight."
"Please please please!" She begged. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, Abs. But I just don't feel like hangin' out tonight."
"I'll buy pizza and beer. It's just one night, T."
He rolled his eyes and looked at her, his eyes showing her how tired he was. "Fine." He conceded, taking her by the shoulders and moving her away from the car. "Get in."
**Later That Night -- Tony's Apartment**
"That was awesome." Abby grinned, leaning against Tony's chest as he pulled the blankets up around them.
"You know, you'd think I'd get sick of hearing that...but it never gets old." He smirked, wincing dramatically when she punched him gently in the shoulder.
"You're too cocky for your own good." She relaxed against him, running her hand through his hair.
He moaned lightly, tilting his head into her hand. "But you still love me."
"Yeah yeah. You know, you should have been a masseuse. Your massages are killer."
"What about my illustrious public service career?"
The Goth scoffed, pulling his hair gently. "Illustrious? Big word."
He chuckled as he poked her in the side, wrapping his arms around her tightly. They rested against the pillows silently for a moment before Abby finally spoke up again.
"You know...this whole thing with McGee..."
He sighed. "Abby...really? We don't have to do this. Please, don't ruin a perfectly good night."
The younger woman crawled on top of him, straddling his chest as she placed a finger against his lips. "Please let me finish."
"You've got me kinda distracted." Tony joked, putting his hands on her hips. "Haven't seen you in this position in over 4 years."
She punched him again, narrowing her eyes at him playfully. "I know that I've been wrapped up in this McGee thing. But...while he makes me happy, I don't wanna lose you. You're my best friend."
"You're not gonna lose me, Abbygirl." He smiled, rubbing circles on her hips with his thumbs. "Especially not when you're like this. You may end up getting more of me than you bargained for if you're not careful."
"You're the one who should be more careful, Tonyboy. I almost lost you today. You shouldn't have gone over there and you know it." She leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, moving herself off his chest and relaxing against his side again. "I love you. But if you scare me like that ever again, so help me God..."
"I know I know. You'll kill me and leave no forensic evidence."
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