Lunch proved to be uneventful. It wasn’t as good as the meal they had the day before, but Gibbs figured not having to brave the cold made up the difference. It was hot and filling and that was good enough for him. Tony had gone back for seconds of the soup. Gibbs made a note to remember that chicken corn chowder was a favorite for the younger man. Although, according to Tony the best soup ever made was his grandmother’s vegetable beef.
Gibbs had kept a weather eye on the crowd. He didn’t want to run into anyone he didn’t like, and he wanted to make sure Carlson wasn’t anywhere near Tony. Gibbs couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed when he couldn’t locate Tony’s one time nemesis anywhere in the room. He elected to just be glad he didn’t have to worry about breaking his promise to Tony. He wouldn’t do anything to Carlson in Chicago, unless the man started something first. In that case all bets were off.
Gibbs filled the travel mug Tony had given him with coffee as they were heading out to their next seminar. It wouldn’t be enough to see him through the entire session, but it was definitely better than the stupid little mugs the hotel had available. And the lid meant he could take it into the conference room without anyone bitching.
“You want me to meet you out here after the seminar is done?” Tony asked, a teasing smile appearing. “You nearly gave Phillips a heart attack when you came to find me yesterday. You accidentally killing off any of the presenters definitely wouldn’t look good.”
Gibbs rolled his eyes. “Not my fault the guy was afraid of his own shadow.”
Tony chuckled. “You need to remember some mere mortals aren’t immune to your glare the way I am.”
Gibbs arched an eyebrow. “Immune, DiNozzo?”
“Okay, immune might not be completely accurate. More resistant than immune.” Tony smiled sheepishly. “I’ve been conditioned. Long term exposure reduces the effect.”
Gibbs wasn’t sure if that little justification was courtesy of the time Tony spent with Abby, or if it was more a byproduct of Ducky’s influence. It certainly sounded like something either one would say.
“You want me to meet you here?” Tony asked again, nodding to where he’d been standing when Gibbs had found him before lunch.
It would be a hell of a lot easier if Tony’s phone was working. Small minded, penny pinching prick, Gibbs thought vehemently still wanting to smack Vance because his need to control things had left Tony without adequate means to contact him or be contacted by him.
Gibbs wasn’t happy about it, but he could live with it. He sipped his coffee. “That will work.”
Tony nodded. “If I run into Tammy, you still up for dinner with her and Craig?”
“Sure.”
Gibbs would prefer they got room service and ate alone again, but he wasn’t going to be an ass and deny Tony a chance to reconnect with his former partner. He also didn’t want to leave Tony alone with her. Not that he thought she’d lure him away from NCIS--for all Tony’s job jumping he’d done before landing at NCIS, he never went back to where he’d been--but she could easily make him think the grass might be greener somewhere else.
They’d made progress toward fixing aspects of their relationship that Gibbs had unintentionally damaged, but the older man was not entirely certain he’d done enough yet. Not to mention he was still just a bit unsure of Tammy. All her physical contact seemed innocent enough, and Craig’s need to be close had been explained, but Gibbs was still possessive enough to want to be there to claim Tony as his. Even if Tony didn’t know Gibbs thought of him that way yet.
“See you in a few hours,” Tony patted Gibbs on the shoulder as he walked away.
Gibbs resisted the urge to call him back and demand more meaningful contact--like a kiss. He shook his head. Even if they were lovers, he’d never kiss Tony in such a public place. It used to make his ex-wives crazy when he’d draw back, unwilling to give or receive a kiss where others could see it. He didn’t kiss Shannon in public either. They held hands, and he might have put an arm around her shoulder or waist, but he didn’t think anything more personal should be on display. They were both very private people, and their love for one another wasn’t for public consumption. Even Abby, who he usually kissed on the cheek, got that gesture of affection typically when it was just the two of them in her lab.
Gibbs sighed. He glanced toward the room where the seminar he’d picked last night was going to be held, but against his will his eyes found their way back to the room Tony had gone in. He nodded to himself, making the decision to follow with little to no thought. He wanted to be able to keep an eye on Tony. Not that Tony couldn’t take care of himself; Gibbs knew he could. Tony wouldn’t be his senior agent if he wasn’t tough and competent, but Gibbs didn’t want Tony without back up either.
That he hadn’t thought Tony needed it before was immaterial. Gibbs knew better now. Tony had mentioned enemies the first night. But Gibbs hadn’t thought they were the sort that would pose a physical threat. Even though it was years ago, and Carlson wasn’t the one to actually attack Tony, he could still be a threat. Gibbs mentally head smacked himself. He should have been paying better attention and not been misled by Tony’s blasé attitude as they left the meet and greet.
Gibbs knew that most of his thoughts were little more than a smoke screen, a way to justify his need to be close to Tony. But he really didn’t care. He had an excuse for attending the same seminar as Tony when what Vance had all but ordered was for them to split up and attend as many individual seminars as possible. Not that he expected Vance to ever know, much less ask, or that Gibbs would even explain himself unless outright ordered to do so, but he believed in being prepared.
He slipped silently into the room, making sure he wasn’t seen with practiced ease. He spotted Tony, not entirely surprised the younger man would be sitting near the front. Tony might come across as a slacker to the casual observer, but he took his job seriously. If there were anything to be learned that would give him an edge, Tony would ferret it out and make the most of it.
When he and Ziva had been trapped in a shipping container, Tony had known the money locked in with them was counterfeit because of knowledge he’d retained from a similar seminar. Gibbs smiled. Not all Tony’s insights came from movies.
Gibbs picked a seat in the back corner, wanting to have a clear view of both the audience and keep anyone from sitting behind him. That he was closer to the door was a deliberate choice. He could slip out quickly and easily without drawing any attention to himself. He sipped his coffee and settled in.
He saw Tony stand up to greet someone and realized it was Tammy. Tony smiled, hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Gibbs clamped down hard on his jealousy. Even if he wasn’t into public displays, he still envied Tammy being able to receive one from Tony without anyone raising an eyebrow. He hated that she had something he had yet to experience.
Gibbs kept one eye on Tony and another on the rest of the audience until the lights went down and the seminar started. The speaker was very engaging. She knew how to modulate her voice to ensure she didn’t lull her audience to sleep. She knew when and how to use humor to get her point across. And she had a lot of good information that, while not entirely new to Gibbs, could be utilized in ways he hadn’t considered.
Gibbs enjoyed this seminar far more than the morning session. Not only was the speaker good, he could see Tony. He already knew the younger man was less of a distraction when he was around than when he wasn’t. Gibbs smiled. It was one of those paradoxes that was pure DiNozzo.
Tony looked like he was paying close attention. He was taking notes. Gibbs smirked, thinking about Tony’s awful handwriting. He was capable of writing legibly, even beautifully when he took his time, but when in a hurry Tony might as well be writing in code because no one else was going to be able to read it. Gibbs was glad everything Tony turn into him had to be typed. Even after years of working together he still had trouble deciphering Tony’s scrawl.
Gibbs idly wondered if the seminar he’d originally intended to attend was as good. It didn’t matter, not really, although he was going to have to make sure he had a good story in place if Tony asked about what he’d learned.
He checked his watch, slipping unseen out of the room half an hour before the session was due to wrap up. He made his way to the room he should have been in all along. Entering silently, he spotted resource material on a table in the back. He picked it up. At least he’d have an idea of what was covered. And he had ‘proof’ he’d been in attendance.
For the seminar he’d attended that morning the source material was worth more than the speaker. Judging by what he was hearing as the speaker wrapped up, this one may well have been the same way. Gibbs was glad he hadn’t wasted his time.
He didn’t take a seat, preferring to stand in the back until the seminar to ended. Gibbs waited until people started leaving before following them out. He headed for where he was supposed to meet up with Tony.
Not seeing him immediately, Gibbs glanced around. He finally saw Tony in a nearby alcove not far from the one he and Tony had used before lunch. Gibbs guessed that at one time they were mostly reserved for payphones, but now served no real purpose. It was almost hidden by decorative, plastic potted plants that some decorator likely thought would add color but in reality just collected dust.
As Gibbs approached he realized Tony was talking with Tammy. Habit kept him from making any noise, letting him eavesdrop on their conversation for a few moments.
“I still can’t believe you’re still at NCIS.” Tammy was staying to Tony. “You know I lost twenty bucks to Craig when you didn’t leave after two years.”
Tony smiled. “You were always telling me I needed to settle down. Don’t be so surprised I took your advice.”
She gave an unladylike snort, smacking him lightly in the chest. “You never listened to me when we were partners, don’t pretend like you suddenly saw the error of your ways and realized I was right.”
Tony’s smile grew to a grin. “I listened to you then, I just didn’t always agree.”
She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, what’s so damn special about NCIS? I’ve asked you before, and you always give me the run around. Tell me the truth. You owe me that much, DiNozzo.”
“I don’t owe you.” Tony protested, laughing softly.
“Yes, you do.” She countered, pointing her finger at him. “It’s been nearly four years since you came to visit.”
“Hey, it’s not like I didn’t stay in touch. I call-“
“Yeah, like once a month. And e-mail so does not count.” She glared at him. “It is not the same as seeing each other in person. Now spill. Why are you still with NCIS?”
Gibbs wouldn’t mind an honest answer to that question himself. Tony had weathered a lot, standing his ground when most would have run for the hills.
“I like it.” Tony shrugged. “It’s always a challenge. Never have the same case twice. It keeps me interested.”
That was true so far as it went, but Gibbs had the feeling that wasn’t the whole truth. Judging by the way Tammy’s eyes narrowed, she had a similar feeling.
“Is it that…or is there a special someone you haven’t told me about that’s responsible for you staying put?”
Tony looked away. She was definitely on the right track, Gibbs thought. Who was that important to Tony? Was it someone he’d just met? Someone he’d known for a while? Shit. Gibbs resisted the urge to demand answers and draw attention to himself.
Tammy poked Tony, smiling brightly. “C’mon, fess up, you got someone out there who makes staying in DC worth it.”
“Several.” Tony grinned, deflecting with his usual charm. “My team. I’ve told you about them. We’re practically family.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She frowned, poking him again. “Play it straight with me, DiNozzo.”
She reminded Gibbs of Abby. He almost expected her to threaten to kill him and leave no forensic evidence behind.
“You know I’m not going to give up until you tell me the truth.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re like a pit bull.”
“Damn right.” She laughed. The comparison clearly didn’t bother her. “Now talk to me.”
Tony sighed; he ran a hand through his hair. “There is someone, but before you get all excited, and start planning a wedding, it’s not going to get to that point. Hell, it’s not going to even go anywhere at all.”
Gibbs felt his gut tighten. Who was Tony talking about? Ziva? Abby? Another agent? He’d been very close to Paula Cassidy, but he’d never seemed that serious. That he’d cared about her, Gibbs knew. Her death had hit him hard, but if she was the reason Tony stayed at NCIS, surely he’d have left when she died.
“Why?” Tammy asked.
“Because they are a forever kind of person, and I’m…not.”
Gibbs scowled. Who was Tony talking about? Why couldn’t he just use a name damn it?
“What do you mean you’re not?” She ran a hand down his arm in a soothing gesture. “I know you can do serious and commit. I’ve seen you do it.”
Tony grimaced. “Yeah and that ended so well.”
“Sarah was a whore. That she couldn’t keep her legs crossed isn’t your fault. It says more about her than it does about you.”
Sarah was obviously someone Tony had been involved with when he was in Philly. Based on what Tammy had said, she had cheated on Tony.
Tony’s expression took on a closed off look Gibbs rarely saw. “Look, if it had been just her, I’d be inclined to believe you. But no one has ever considered Tony DiNozzo to be worth the long haul. I’m the go to guy for a good time. More of a great Mr. Right Now than anyone’s version of Mr. Right.”
Gibbs wondered if that’s what Tony meant when he’d been talking about Callum earlier. He’d referred to Callum not ruining the relationship he had by sleeping around with ‘someone like him’. Did he really think no one wanted any more from him than that? Is that why he made such a big deal out of being a playboy? Love them and leave them before they left him?
“Tony-“
“It’s okay, Tammy.” He smiled sadly. “Really, it’s okay.”
She squeezed his arm. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy.” His smile warmed, reaching his eyes. “Not all of us are looking for picket fences.”
“Have you even asked this per-“
“No.” He put a finger to her lips. “And I’m not going to. We work together. Not going to mess up the best job I’ve ever had.”
Gibbs froze. Was it Ziva? Was she the one Tony felt strongly enough to stay at NCIS for? Gibbs hadn’t thought Tony showed that much interest in her, but maybe he just hadn’t paid enough attention.
Tony hadn’t used a name or a gender specific pronoun. Maybe Tammy didn’t know Tony had at least experimented with men in the past and he likely didn’t want her to know. Could that mean the person might be a man? McGee? Gibbs couldn’t see that any more than he could envision Tony wanting Ziva. But Tony and McGee had gotten to be good friends. And McGee had joined the team not long after Tony’s two-year mark with NCIS.
“You should take a chance, Tony.” Tammy encouraged him softly when he pulled his had away, giving her room to speak.
“I don’t have to, Tammy,” Tony shook his head, “I already know how they feel.”
She frowned at him. “How could you possibly know if you never said anything?”
“It’s one of their rules. Number twelve to be exact. No dating coworkers. I can’t see an exception being made for me.”
Gibbs nearly choked, unable to believe what he’d heard. Tony had stayed at NCIS because of him? He had feelings for him? Tony had said last night that Gibbs was everything. But he’d never given any indication. He’d never said or done anything that would lead Gibbs to think he was interested in more than a working relationship. Although, it was probably a good thing he hadn’t. Gibbs wouldn’t have known what to do or say if Tony had approached him. It likely would have ended with him belting Tony. Not exactly an action anyone would consider encouraging.
Gibbs was ready and willing to make an exception for Tony now--now that he better understood his feelings for the younger man, finally understood just how much he meant to him. But he couldn’t blame Tony for thinking he wouldn’t. Hell, Tony didn’t think he trusted him on the job, why would he think Gibbs would trust him with anything else.
“I’d make an exception for you, Tony. You are more than worth that.” Tammy told him, her tone serious. “You can’t just assume they wouldn’t feel the same way. Give it a chance.”
“It’s not just the rules. I’m not their type either.”
She blinked. “You know their type?”
“Got to see it first hand.” Tony’s smile was wry. “More than once.”
Gibbs cursed silently. Just as he suspected--Shepard, Mann, his ex-wife Stephanie--he definitely looked like he had a type. And it wasn’t one that included men.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Tammy sounded positively motherly.
“Don’t be.” Tony hugged her. “It’s not perfect, but no one gets everything they want. It’s okay.”
Gibbs stepped back. He wasn’t sorry he’d eavesdropped on their conversation, but he didn’t want to get caught doing it. It was at best an invasion of their privacy, and at worst it was a betrayal of trust.
Gibbs also needed a moment to get his thoughts and emotions under control. He had to figure out what to do with this new-found knowledge. There had to be a way to act on it. He just had to figure out what to do.
Gibbs smiled. It was looking like coming to Chicago was proving more and more to be the best decision he had ever made. He just had to make sure he didn’t fuck it up.
No pressure there, Marine, Gibbs thought dryly, no pressure at all.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs learns even more about Tony.