Chapter 12
The group had to help a physically and emotionally exhausted Tony down to the cars. Ducky had declared Tony bruised and a little battered but not needing immediate ER attention. Gibbs pulled his car up to the back entrance as McGee led a pliant Tony into the backseat. Not wanting to leave him by himself, Tim shared a look with Gibbs and stayed with Tony in the back. As he sat down, Tim placed his arm around his friend. Tony, still not saying anything, leaned into him. McGee knew he was doing the right thing when he heard a small content sigh from the older man as he lay his head on McGee’s shoulder. He watched as Tony closed his eyes, likely from exhaustion. Gibbs had given Abby Tony’s keys and she and Ziva followed in Tony’s car. Ducky rounded up the rear of the small caravan. They headed to Gibbs’ place.
When they arrived, Jackson and Palmer met them at the front door. It was late, so the two men had made coffee and some snacks. They knew it was a tense day and many of the group had not eaten properly.
Gibbs and McGee led Tony in and lay him down on the couch. Abby wrapped a USMC blanket around the senior agent and she sat down and placed his head in her lap. She stroked his hair softly as she murmured kind words to him as he slept. The others sat at the kitchen table and did partake in the food.
“How did it go, Leroy?” Jack broke the silence.
Gibbs clenched his teeth. He was still so disgusted and angry with the way Tony had been treated by Senior. “We got him.” He answered. “Fornell’s interrogating him as we speak.”
Ziva looked up, but spoke quietly. “You do not think with all his money, his father will be able to get up, do you?”
McGee smiled slightly. “It’s get off, Ziva.”
“Up…off…whatever.” She waved her hand.
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t ever see the light of day again.” Gibbs said with conviction as he sipped on his coffee.
*
When morning came, Tony continued to sleep. Gibbs used the opportunity to go down to FBI headquarters. He met a fatigued Fornell in their work area.
“So?” Gibbs asked.
“He knows he’s screwed. His lawyer is in with him now.” Fornell said quietly as he downed some coffee.
“Tell me he won’t make bail, Tobias.” Gibbs said, concern in his voice.
“I’m hoping the assault upon a federal officer charge will keep him indefinitely. The judge who is going to hear the case is also notorious for being hard on child molesters. Plus, coupled with the other charges to come, even his fancy lawyer will have a hard time getting him out for now.”
“Good.” Gibbs answered, relief in his voice. He turned to walk away. “I need to get Tony away for a little bit. Is it okay for him to leave town?”
“Should be. If I need you, I’ll call.”
Gibbs nodded. “And Tobias?”
“Yeah, Jethro?”
“Thanks.”
*
Gibbs went to talk to the Director and requested a two week leave for him and Dinozzo. The rest of the team would do cold cases in their absence. After receiving approval from Vance, Jethro returned home.
Jackson was in the kitchen. “Leroy.”
“Dad. Tony still sleeping?”
Jackson nodded. “The boy needs rest.”
“Agreed. So, would you mind if we pack up and go back to Stillwater with you?” Jethro asked.
Jackson smiled. “Mind?” He said and slapped Jethro playfully on the head. “You never have to ask, Leroy. It’s your home too. Anyway, I’ve been talking about Tony to my friends for so long, they have been itching to meet him.”
“Then it’s settled.”
*
Tony woke slowly in the afternoon. At first he did not recognize where he was. His breath hitched and he sat up quickly. He still felt highly emotional from what had occurred. He suddenly felt panicked when he did not hear many sounds in the house. He stepped out into the hallway. “Dad?” He said and then rushed down the steps. He didn’t see Jackson or Jethro. “DAD?!” He looked around.
Jethro burst through back into the house from the back door when he heard the frantic tone of Tony. “Hey, bud. I’m right here.” He hugged Tony and the younger agent grabbed onto his shirt tightly. “Jack and I were just outside.”
As Tony calmed down, he stepped back, face flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry.” He mumbled as he kept his head down.
“It’s okay, Tony. Let’s sit down.” He led him over to the couch. “You hungry?” Tony shook his head. “So, I talked with Vance this morning. He gave us both a few weeks off.” Tony said nothing, so he continued. “I thought we could go with Grandpa to Stillwater.”
Tony lifted his head slightly. “Us?”
“Yeah. After some lunch, why don’t we pack up and head out. We’ll take the Charger. Should be a good ride.” He grinned when he saw a small smile upon Tony’s face.
*
Gibbs had to tone down his aggressive driving style en route to Stillwater. Not only was Tony exhausted, but his father was leading the way. Since driving out of DC, Tony seemed to relax slightly. He still did not say much, but Gibbs knew he was excited to finally see his Boss’ hometown. Under different circumstances, Tony probably would have provided a very spirited dialogue the whole way to Pennsylvania.
When they stopped for gas, Gibbs noticed Tony glancing periodically at the shop connected to the gas station. Gibbs smiled and reached in his back pocket and brought out his wallet. He pulled some bills from it. “Tony, why don’t you go grab some snacks.” His heart nearly melted as his son smiled.
“Really?” He asked. “Are you sure?”
“Yep. Whatever you want.” Gibbs smirked. “Just grab me a coffee. See if your grandpa wants anything.
“Okay.” Tony took off. Gibbs couldn’t believe how the simplest things seemed to make Tony happy.
*
When Tony returned, Gibbs laughed to himself as he surveyed Tony’s stash. He had a few candy bars, a big soda, and some popcorn. Jethro managed to finish his coffee before taking off. He did not want to spill any in his Charger.
“How much longer to Stillwater, Boss?” Tony asked, a slight twinkle in his eye.
“’Bout an hour.”
“Cool.”
Gibbs was please to see Tony more animated than before. They still had not discussed the events of the previous night, but Jethro knew it was a conversation that would need to be had.
After some time, Tony turned to Gibbs. “Never really done this before.”
“Done what, Tony?”
The senior agent shrugged. “You know. Road trip with f-family.” He ended the sentence so softly, as if saying the words would make this all disappear.
Gibbs smiled sadly, his heart breaking for all the experiences Tony’s upbringing lacked. “Well, first time for everything, kiddo.”
*
When they arrived at Jackson’s house, Tony stretched his arms as he stepped out of the car. He looked upon the small house and smiled. Although he had grown up in a mansion, Tony loved the idea that this house looked like a home. The trip had left him exhausted and after placing their things down, Jack led Tony to a bedroom. The fatigued senior agent lay down and went to sleep.
*
As excited as Tony was to be in Jethro’s hometown, the first two days in Stillwater were spent mostly resting. Tony had not wanted to leave the house; he was quiet and slightly withdrawn. Jethro did not push, he felt Tony would open up in time. He just wanted his son to feel safe.
They ate meals together. While Jackson tended to his store, Tony would read or watch TV. They all spoke of nothing in particular. Jethro wanted to give Tony space to work out his emotions in his head.
On day three, Jethro gathered some things and placed them in his father‘s truck. Tony was sitting on the back porch soaking up the late morning sun. His eyes were closed, but he was not sleeping. He heard the back door open, and turned to the noise.
“Up and at ’em, Tony.” Gibbs said lightly.
“Where are we going?” Tony asked when he saw Gibbs smile slightly.
“Not far. Let’s get going, okay?”
Tony stood up slowly. He wasn’t sure why he felt nervous leaving the house. He could not explain it to himself. He felt secure and safe in the sanctuary of Jackson’s home. It was as if he stepped outside he would have to face things that he wasn’t sure he had a handle on as of yet. He trusted Gibbs so he reluctantly followed him to Jackson’s beat up vintage Ford.
*
They drove about ten minutes on the main street and then turned onto a dirt road. Eventually, they stopped. Tony looked around and had to marvel at the simple beauty of the place. There were trees as far as the eye could see and a still lake, the late morning sun causing the water to shimmer brilliantly. He turned to watch Gibbs pull out two coolers and two lawn chairs. Tony silently helped him bring them over closer to the water. Jethro then fetched two fishing poles from the truck.
“Um…” Tony said with wide eyes as he gazed at him. “I-I don’t fish, Boss.”
“Like I said a few days ago, kiddo, first time for everything.” He smirked as he readied the first pole with tackle.
“No offence, Boss, but nature and I don’t mix. Don’t get me wrong, it’s real pretty out here…” Tony gestured to his surroundings, “but I’ve never fished before.”
Jethro smiled to himself as he listened to Tony. “My dad used to take me fishing when I was younger.” Gibbs answered as he prepared the second pole. He waited as Tony sat next to him, obviously now understanding why Jethro wanted to take him here.
Tony sighed. “I’ll probably suck at it.” He said quietly as he grabbed a pole.
“You won’t. I’ll teach ya.” Gibbs said with a smile.
*
A few hours later, Tony and Jethro sat sipping on some beers after they finished their sandwiches. Inside a cooler were four large fish, two of which Tony had caught. Gibbs couldn’t help but be proud as Tony concentrated and learned quickly. He caught his first even before Jethro did. The look of pride on his son’s face melted his heart.
As they enjoyed their beers, they stared at the water. Tony sat forward slightly, fiddling with his the label on his bottle. He spoke softly, “This is what families do.”
“What, Tony?” Gibbs answered as he turned to his son.
Tony sighed as he leaned back as he looked at the lead agent. “Not necessarily the fishing, but eating together, spending time together.” His voice shook slightly. “I knew things were bad growing up…b-but I never truly realized what I had missed out on ‘til I met you…” He shook his head and then met the older man’s gaze. “T-thank you…” He whispered.
“You don’t need to thank me, Tony. You’re easy to love.” Gibbs moved his chair closer to Tony’s and placed his arm around his son. Tony leaned over and placed his head on his dad’s shoulder and sighed. He didn’t care how pathetic he was, it made him feel better. Gibbs spoke again. “It’s okay to need people, Tony. It’s not a crime. It doesn’t make you weak.”
After some time, Tony stood. He walked over to the edge of the lake. “I thought I’d feel different.” Gibbs made his way towards him.
“How?” Jethro answered.
“H-He’s in custody. I should feel h-happy…I should have closure.” He turned towards his dad. “B-But I don‘t. I’ve been asking myself is it because I think he’ll get off? I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes roughly. “What’s wrong with me?” He had such despair in his voice. Gibbs embraced him to try to reassure him.
“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Gibbs said with conviction. “He will pay for what he has done to you.”
Tony stepped back. “Even if he does, it can’t erase what he did to me. I’ll still be scared, I’ll still have nightmares…I’ll still be pathetic!” Tony yelled as his frustration grew.
“You are not now or ever will be pathetic.” Gibbs replied as he motioned for Tony to sit back down. “You’re not broken. It will take time to process what happened to you.”
“But why do I feel nothing? We got him. He’s in jail. Hopefully for a long time.” He sniffed. “I don’t understand.” He whispered.
Jethro grabbed Tony’s hand as he took a deep breath. “When Shannon and Kelly were murdered,” he began, “Franks was the NIS agent assigned to the case. He left the folder open with information about the killer of my girls.” Gibbs stopped, needing collect himself. “I went down to Mexico and found the bastard.” Tony’s eyes were wide with surprise. “From a distance, I shot him.” Gibbs eyes teared as he felt Tony squeeze his hand. “I killed him. I killed the bastard that destroyed my family.” His voice trembled. “And when it was done, I expected all the pain to slip away, that somehow the world would make sense again. But…it didn’t. My loss was as painful as the day I found out. I sat on a beach in Mexico for hours after what I did, my sig in my hand.”
When Tony realized the implication of that, he gasped. “Dad?”
Gibbs continued. “But I couldn’t do it. I knew my girls would have been disappointed in me. I had to force myself to move forward. It was painful and took many, many years. And I didn’t always get it right. Until now.” Gibbs sadly smiled at his son as he stood, pulling Tony up as well.
“No one knows, do they?” Tony asked quietly.
“No.” He said as he began to gather their things.
“Thank you for trusting me, Dad.” Tony replied. “A-And…I don’t judge you…for what you did…” He placed a hand on Gibbs’ shoulder and the two hugged.
“Let’s get back.” Gibbs said after he cleared his throat. “Grandpa’s waiting.”
TBC…
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