“Dad, we really need to talk.”
Truer words had never been uttered by Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. He and his father were not known for their long, heartfelt conversations; honesty was something that only existed between them when it was convenient, but now it was no longer a convenience, it was matter of life and death.
Tony had always made it a practice to stay out of his father’s business, especially after he realized that Senior’s business took precedence over everything including his own son. However, Tony knew that he didn’t have a choice; he had to tread in unknown waters and he wasn’t sure he was up for the challenge.
Cradling his ribs, he took a deep breath and blew it out in an effort to focus on the task at hand. Talking to one’s father shouldn’t be so difficult; but of course, DiNozzos never did things the easy way and that included discussing their problems openly.
“So, what do we need to talk about?” his father asked.
He stared at his father in disbelief. “What do we need to talk about? Are you serious? I mentioned the name Sam Brewer and…”
“Junior, I already told you that I don’t recall ever meeting a Sam Brewer,” Senior proclaimed.
“Dad, please,” he pleaded. “Please don’t lie to me. I can’t help you if you don’t start being honest with me.”
“Junior, I…”
Tony’s patience was quickly reaching its limits; he had never intended to have this conversation with his father until after Senior’s surgery, but the opportunity had arisen and now there was no turning back. In order to protect his father, he needed truthful answers; something his father didn’t seem to want to provide him with.
“Just stop. Don’t even go there; I don’t want excuses or half-truths or complete lies. I want you to tell me the truth!”
“You need to relax, Junior; you’re getting too worked up.”
Needing a release for his anger and frustration, Tony hit the wall with his fist. The adrenaline coursing through him was compensating for the pain the he knew he should be feeling; he was more than likely going to have to end up in the ER once again as well as pay for the repair to the crack now adorning the wall.
Flexing his fingers, he bit back the cry of agony that wanted to escape his lips. Silently chastising himself for his rash action that led yet to another injury, he then pushed the pain aside and turned his attention back to his father who was staring at him with a mixture of uncertainty and surprise.
“Perhaps I could relax if you would start being honest with me,” Tony stated with a forced calmness that he certainly didn’t feel.
Senior swallowed hard. “Sam Brewer was a business associate; things didn’t work out and we went our separate ways. I uh…borrowed some money to finance a deal and it fell through and I guess he expects me to reimburse him for his losses.”
Sitting down on the edge of his father’s mattress, he felt what little energy he had left ebb away as he contemplated his father’s admission. Surely his dad knew about Sam Brewer’s reputation; one doesn’t own half of Atlantic City and remain anonymous. Brewer somehow remained above the law and now his father had gotten mixed up with a known criminal.
“You borrowed some money? How uh…how much do you owe Brewer?” he quietly inquired.
“Well, I…”
“How much do you owe Brewer?” Tony was in no mood to hear any more of his father’s lies.
“Five hundred and some change,” Senior reluctantly answered.
Tony felt the knot in his stomach tighten. “Five hundred what, Dad? Five hundred dollars? Five hundred thousand? How much exactly?”
“Five hundred forty thousand,” his father finally admitted.
“Five hundred and…?” Tony tamped down the waves of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. “Where did you plan on coming up with that kind of money? I don’t have that kind of money and I know that you don’t have that kind of money.”
“I intended to pay Brewer back; I had already made several installments and I was about to come into a nice lump sum.”
“Who do you know that would give you that kind of money?”
“That’s not important right now.”
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to ward off the headache that was trying to return with a vengeance. He had too much on his plate to add the inconvenience of another migraine. What truly troubled Tony was that after all these years, he was no closer in understanding what motivated his father.
“It’s not important?” Did his father truly believe that Tony was simply going to be satisfied with his father’s quick dismissal of his question? After everything his dad had subjected him to the past couple of days, he deserved a straight forward answer from him and he was determined to get one.
“I don’t understand you, Dad. Earlier you were furious at me because I footed your bill the last time you were here, but then you end up in the hospital and you’re worried about paying your bills because you don’t have insurance. Then I find out that you owe money to the likes of Sam Brewer but you now suddenly have a mysterious money source; do I have another stepmother waiting in the wings that you’ve neglected to tell me about? As I recall, that’s the way it usually works.”
“Watch yourself, Junior,” Senior warned. “Your tone is bordering on being disrespectful.”
He was beyond caring how his tone sounded. Tony was tired of his father’s attempts at trying to distract him from the matter at hand; he was not in the mood for Senior’s games.
“Right now, I don’t care how disrespectful I sound; Dad, you need to level with me,” he pleaded. “Please.”
“Tony, I…”
“Why is it so hard for you to tell me the truth?” he demanded to know. “I’m your son; don’t you think I deserve to know what’s going on? I want to help you but you keep blocking me at every turn; it’s got to stop, Dad. You’ve got to tell everything that’s happened so I can help you.”
“Junior, I told you that I owed Sam Brewer money and I’m going to take care of it when I get out of the hospital,” Senior attempted to assure him.
“But you expect me to pay your hospital bills? There’s no lump sum of money, is there dad? It’s just another lie.”
“Anthony, please. I have it under control.”
“No you don’t, Dad! Brewer came to my apartment; my apartment! He was looking for you and he wanted his money; you don’t have this under control.”
He could have sworn that with that revelation, he saw a glimpse of panic in his dad’s eyes; Senior’s mask had slipped and Tony briefly saw the man that he wanted his father to be. Anthony DiNozzo, Senior, con man extraordinaire had ceased to exist and for a moment, Tony caught sight of the man who had taken him fishing as a young boy; a time when he and his father actually had a father/son relationship.
When his dad finally found his voice, regret hung on the simply apology. “I’m sorry, Anthony.”
Tony studied his father’s distinguished features; fine lines of exhaustion and worry had manifested themselves around his eyes. For the first time in his life, he noticed that his father actually looked old; the spark that had always radiated from his crystal blue eyes had been snuffed out, leaving Anthony DiNozzo, Senior defeated and full of doubt.
“Let’s start from the beginning,” Tony urged.
“The beginning?”
“From the time that you met Sam Brewer; maybe we can figure something out.”
“You still want to help me?” Senior asked.
“If you’ll let me,” he replied.
“I’d like that, Jun…Tony.”
Tony shifted over to the chair beside the bed. He had a feeling that this conversation was going to take a while so he knew that he might as well be comfortable. “All right, Dad; how did you meet Sam Brewer?”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Anthony DiNozzo, Senior had always prided himself on handling his own problems with the outcome always resulting in something that personally benefitted him; it was apparent to the man that he was going to have to swallow some of that pride and attempt to be somewhat honest with his son which was easier said than done. He had never wanted to involve Tony in his dealings with Sam Brewer, but he had run out of options.
Brewer’s patience with him had reached its limits and as a result, his son had been thrust into the middle of something that he didn’t understand; truthfully, Senior wasn’t sure that he understood everything that was going on either. Tony was more than likely going to have to be prepared to make a deal with the devil if he was going to save him from Brewer’s sense of justice.
“I met Sam Brewer the last time I was in Atlantic City, which was right before I visited you that last time. I convinced him that I had just come up on a deal that was just too good to pass up and he suggested that we become partners,” Senior began to explain.
“He suggested?” Tony pressed. “Are you sure about that?”
“Well, I might have presented the idea in such a way that…”
“Never mind,” his son grunted. “So when he found out that there wasn’t a deal, he wanted his money back, but you had already spent it.”
“I…uh…” Senior didn’t miss the fine lines of exhaustion in Tony’s features; a pang of guilt swept over him at the realization that he was causing the stress that seemed to be consuming his son. “Yes,” he honestly replied, not wanting to add to the pressure that Tony was already experiencing.
He watched Tony’s deliberate movements as he cradled his head in his hands. “Dad, why didn’t you just come to me? If you needed money, why didn’t you just come to me? I could’ve helped you figure something else out; taking money from a man like Sam Brewer is just plain stupid.”
“I’ve never asked you for anything and I wasn’t about to...”
Senior regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. He saw the younger man visibly bristle, knowing that a biting retort was on the tip of his son’s tongue; the elder DiNozzo realized that he deserved every dagger that Tony could throw at him, but that was not Tony’s style. Maybe he had been right when he had said that he had never asked Tony for anything and that included his love, but for some reason, Tony had always given that freely even when they were barely speaking to each other.
“I’m sorry,” Senior apologized. “That didn’t come out right.”
“Yes it did,” Tony sighed. “But it doesn’t matter; at least not right now. What does matter is how you think that you’re going to pay Brewer back? And don’t tell me you have some money hidden somewhere; I’m not buying it.”
Sometimes Tony was too smart for his own good. It was obvious that his own son didn’t trust him and sadly, Senior couldn’t blame him. He had taught Tony from a young age that there were very few people in the world that he could trust; unfortunately, the boy had quickly learned that his father wasn’t one of them.
“I uh...,” he began to stammer. “I was going to make a deal with him.”
“Another deal? Why would you do that? Why would he make a deal with you? Do you actually think that he’s going to believe that you’re going to hold up your end of the bargain?”
“Actually, I was going to offer him something besides money.”
“And that was?”
Senior blew out a pent up breath, bracing himself for the storm that he was about to unleash. “He has some federal charges pending and I was going to offer to get them dismissed, in a manner of speaking.”
“And how were you going to do that? You don’t have any money to bribe a judge.”
“I wasn’t going to bribe a judge!” Senior barked, hurt that his own son would hold his past transactions against him.
“Then how were you going to get…”
Senior immediately noticed the sickly pallor that his son’s face had acquired as he realized what his father had intended to do; Tony’s expression of disbelief and betrayal was reflected in his eyes.
“Anthony, let me explain,” he begged.
“I don’t think you have to explain. You think that because I’m a federal agent that I can go in and fix these charges,” Tony deduced. “I work for NCIS and we don’t have anything to do with Atlantic City gangsters unless they’ve killed someone in the Navy or the Marines.”
“But I know that you have ways of gaining access to other agency files; you could…”
Tony shook his head vehemently. “No! Don’t even go there.”
“If I get the charges dropped, he’ll wipe out my debt. Evidently his freedom is worth more than the half a million that I owe him.”
“Do you realize what you’re asking me to do? If I get caught, I could lose my job and go to prison and you would still owe Brewer the money you so called invested. I can’t believe you!”
His piercing gaze followed Tony’s every movement as he rose from his seat and began to pace. “I thought you had changed, but I guess I was wrong,” Tony mumbled to himself as he continued to walk the short length of the room.
“Tony, please just listen to me.”
Tony stopped at the foot of his bed, his eyes brimming with an unbridled rage that Senior didn’t want to see released. “Listen to you? Why?” his son wanted to know.
“Because I’m your father.”
“No, no you’re not. A father wouldn’t ask his only son to compromise his standards just so he could save face in a world that he no longer has any influence over! A father wouldn’t lie to his son and a father wouldn’t put himself over his children! So don’t you lie there and tell me that I should do this for you because you’re my father!”
Tony’s venomous words were like a knife to the heart. Had he gone too far this time? Had he lost his son’s respect? Did he ever have Tony’s respect?
“I need to know one thing,” Tony insisted. “Why were you upset about me paying your bills when you were in D.C. the last time?”
Senior’s eyes narrowed. “Because I refused to be conned by my own son.”
“So, it was a matter of pride.”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“And what about your pride now? How much of it did you have to swallow to tell me the truth?”
“I think you’re being a bit over dramatic, Anthony. Maybe I did overreact when I discovered that you paid my bills but you have to understand, it made me look bad in Al’s eyes; I smoothed things over by telling him that it was a surprise birthday present from you…”
“Another lie!” Tony roared. “When does the lying stop? When do the games stop?”
Senior was saved from having to answer Tony’s thought provoking questions when the nurse entered his room. “Mr. DiNozzo, your heart rate is too fast; I’ve been watching it at the nurse’s station and it’s been steadily increasing. Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m having a little tightness in my chest,” Senior informed her.
“He’s fine,” Tony blurted out.
“I wasn’t aware your son had a medical degree.”
He laughed at the nurse’s flippant remark. “Actually, his degree’s in physical education.”
“Oh I see.”
Tony cleared his throat. “My father’s degree is in manipulation and lying; he’s actually got his doctorate in both those areas.”
Senior knew better than to try and start a verbal war with his son; Tony had an acerbic tongue when pushed and it was something that his nurse had deciphered as well. The older man hid his smile as the nurse turned to Tony. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but your father needs to rest and conserve his strength. Perhaps it would be better if you go home and get some rest,” she suggested. “Tomorrow will be a long day.”
The nurse’s attention was drawn to the hole that now adorned the once pristine wall. Her questioning gaze shifted between Senior and Tony, but neither man offered an explanation.
“That wall wasn’t like that earlier,” she stated. “Do either of you know what happened to it?”
Once again, her inquiry was met with silence. Senior breathed a sigh of relief as the nurse turned her attention back to him. “Get some rest, Mr. DiNozzo and I’ll check on you later.”
Senior locked eyes with his son. “I’m a little tired,” he confessed. “Why don’t you go on home, Junior and I’ll see you in the morning? I will I see you in the morning, won’t I?”
His heart sank as Tony turned to walk out of the room, refusing to make any promises. Of course, he knew that he more than likely deserved every harsh word and thought that was running through Tony’s mind; however, Senior also knew his son well enough to know that the younger man’s sense of duty would have him by his side in the morning as they wheeled him down to surgery.
“Tony?” he called out. “You will be here in the morning?”
“Yeah, I’ll be here,” Tony tiredly conceded.
“Thank you, son.”
“I’m not dropping this.”
“I don’t expect you to.”
“Good night, Dad.”
“Good night, Anthony.”
He watched as Tony left his room. An aura of betrayal hung over his son like a dark rain cloud. Although he knew that he had never had Tony’s complete confidence; Senior knew that he had managed to destroy what little trust that had been between him and he also recognized the fact that he would probably never be able to regain what he had lost.
Senior nodded his thanks to the nurse as she took great care to make sure he was comfortable. With instructions to call her if he needed assitance, Anthony DiNozzo, Senior was alone once again; he couldn’t shake the feeling that if he wasn’t careful, that he would be alone forever and that possibility was the one thing he feared more than anything, including death.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Gibbs was sitting in the waiting area, nursing his coffee as he watched for Tony to make his way past the small room towards the elevator. He had been waiting a while but he had to make sure that Tony was all right; Gibbs had a feeling that something was wrong and whether he needed it or not, DiNozzo was going to need someone to lean on.
He felt a familiar presence entering the room prompting him to walk over and press start on the microwave to heat the now tepid coffee that he had purchased earlier. Gibbs watched Tony almost collapse the couch; the anger and exhaustion that was radiating from DiNozzo was palpable and there wasn’t a doubt in the team leader’s mind that Tony’s father was responsible for the agent’s agitated state of mind.
“Thought I told you to go home,” Tony stated.
“Guess it didn’t take,” Gibbs replied, reciprocating one of DiNozzo’s infamous answers.
“I know the feeling.”
“You okay?” Gibbs asked, already knowing the answer to his question.
“Nope.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“Want something stronger than coffee?”
“Yep.”
Gibbs took the coffee out of the microwave and tossed it in the trash. “Let’s go then.”
As he extended his hand to pull Tony up, Gibbs noticed DiNozzo cradling his hand. “What happened to your hand?”
“The wall ran into my fist and no, I’m not going to go the ER to have it looked at,” Tony growled.
He wasn’t going to press the issue with DiNozzo; it was obvious that Tony was struggling to keep a tight rein on his emotions and Gibbs’ main purpose was to get the younger man somewhere where he felt safe enough to release those pent up feelings that he harbored. “Come on, Tony; let’s get out of here.”
“Sounds good to me, Boss.”
The two men went towards the parking lot and got in the car. The companionable silence between them seemed to calm DiNozzo’s nerves; he knew Tony well enough to know that his senior field agent wouldn’t talk until he was ready but Gibbs had made a personal vow to listen when the time came.
It only took Gibbs a few minutes of driving time before he pulled up in front of his house. Cutting the engine off, he glanced over at his passenger who was already starting to get out of the vehicle. Tony was definitely hurting, his emotional wounds running deeper than the physical ones he bore. Gibbs’ dislike for Tony’s father was quickly turning into hatred; it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay objective, especially when he knew that DiNozzo’s heart was being torn in two.
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