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Story Notes:
Sorry, I was board and needed to write something. This story will probably be viewed as a piece of crap, but please still review it. All critism is accepted and appreciated
Author's Chapter Notes:
What if Tony could never come back?
"Ziva!!" Abby shouted and jumped around as Ziva finished talking to Michelle Lee. Ziva ran over and gave her friend an extremely welcome hug. Zia hadn't realized how much she would miss the goth, until they were seperated for a season. After being released by Abby, she was immediately pulled into a tight hug from her boss. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He lightly placed a kiss on the top of her head and whispered. "Thank God you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be Gibbs?" She responds. "I already told you I survived the bomb blast."

"Yeah, I know." There was something about his eyes. They seemed happy, but they were masking something. She turned away from him and looked around. Everyone was in the bullpen, Abby, Mcgee, Gibbs. But Tony was nowhere to be found.

"Where is Tony?"

"Not back yet." Mcgee answered quietly, his exhuberent face falling to a saddened one.

"He will be back soon though right?" She looked around at everyone. They all avioded her gaze. "Right?" Paniced, she frantically searched for an answer.

"No." Gibbs said quietly. "No, Zi, he won't."

"Why, can't you get him back. You got me back, and Mcgee, why not Tony too?"

She looked at him worried, but he wouldn't say anything else. Flashes of memories flooded through her head. All the times Tony had made her laugh, made her smile, or just made her feel better after a long day. She saw them shareing their montly movie nights, which turned into weekly movie nights. She saw the one night where they went to a point beyond return, then their first date, and moving in together. Finally, she saw his proposal, her happiness, his happiness. Then, the worst moment in both of their lives, watching Jenny die, being split up. He needed to come back.

"Gibbs, please," She sounded pitiful, even to herself she sounded pitiful. "Why can't you get Tony back?"

He looked up at her, small tears had formed in her eyes. He didn't know what to do. He knew he needed to tell her what happened, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Please, whatever you are trying to hide from me, just tell me," She begged.


"No, Gibbs, tell me."

"Tony's ship went down yesterday. There were no surviors."

"What..." She trailed off backing away from him slightly.

"Ziva," She looked over at Abby whose eyes were filled with tears, "it's true."

"No, No! It is not, I know it's not. It can not be!" She shouted at them, needing to take her anger out on somebody.

"Ziva." Mcgee reached out to comfort her, but she jumped back as if Mcgee's hand was fire.

"No!" She shouted once more before she ran. SHe didn't bother to wait for the elevator; she took the stairs. She ran down them and bolted out the front door.

"Mcgee, Abby, try to trace her cell. I'm gonna go find her."

"Okay Boss." Mcgee answered as he and Abby left the room and headed twards her lab.

Gibbs took the elevator down to the lobby. Upon exiting the elevator, he went up to Reggie, the sucerity guard.

"Hey, did you see which way Ziva went?"

"Yeah, she ran out the door and to the right. She looked really upset, what happened?"

"I told her Tony was... dead." Gibbs was barely able to get the words off of his own tounge.

"Oh, God, no wonder..."

"No wonder what, Reggie?"

"You didn't know? Damn, they must've been pretty good at hidin' it then."

"Hiding what, Reggie?" Gibbs voice was strained as he tried to keep himself from yelling.

"Tony and Ziva were engaged, sir. They got engaged a week before Director Shepard died."

"Ah, damn." Gibbs breathed out.

"Yeah, I know. This could destroy here, literaly."

"Damn it. Reggie, did she have a weapon on her?"

"I didn't see one, but knowing her she probably did wh... Oh."

"Yeah, you said she went right, right?"

"Yup, I did." And with that answer, Gibbs took off running in the direction.

He conituned to run until he found a park. He entered the park and found her on a bridged that crossed over a river. He slowed down and approached her at a walk, trying not to startle her.

She began to speak, not knowing if it was directed at him or not, her listened.

"Here is where I met the first man that I might have loved, he is now dead. The first man I do... did love has now joined him. And now," She raised her sig to her head.

"No!" Gibbs shouted. This startled her enough for her to hesitate. He grabbed her gun and pryed it out of her hands. She collapsed into a fit of intense sobbing. After securing her gun on him, he sat down nest to her and took her into his lap, allowing her to cry into his neck.

"I know everything, Ziva, about you and Tony. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I... I love him Gi... Gibbs." She got out between sobs.

"I know, Zi, I know. You were gonna get married."

"We did, in Los Angles." She sobbed. "No one knew, not even Direc... Jenny. See these." She raised her shirt a little to expose whip marks on her toned stomach. "My father gave them to me when I told him. But they were nothing compared to what you were going to say about it."

"Is this why you and Tony kept it a secret, because of me?"

"Sort of." SHe answered quietly, hiding herself more in Gibbs neck. Her tears picked up again. He decided it was best not to talk to her anymore. Just then his phone rang.

"Gibbs, I found her, she's..."

"In my arms, Abby. She's okay."

"Oh thank God! Can we see her."

"Come over to my place in three hours, okay?"

"Got it." She hung up.

He put his phone away and looked down at Ziva, who had fallen asleep. He picked her up and carried her to his house, which was now only a five minutes walk away. He layed her down on the couch when they got inside and he went to make himself some coffee. She slept peacefully for three hours and woke up only when Abby knocked on Gibbs front door.

"Hey Boss." Mcgee said as Gibbs opened the door.

"Where is she, she's okay right?"

"Yes, Abby, I am fine." Ziva said as she joined Gibbs at the door.

"God, Ziva." Abby whispered as she hugged her friend, lighter then the hug from earlier. "Don't do that again."

"I won't run away again, Abby." Ziva vowed as she was released by Abby and hugged by Mcgee.

"Where did you go?" Mcgee asked out of his own curiosity.

"I went to the bridge where I met Roy. I was going to kill myself; Gibbs stopped me."


"Ziva, why the hell would you do that!?!?!?!?"

They all sat down on the couches in the living room and Ziva explained all about her and Tony's relationship. After finishing, there was a knock on the door. Needing to get up and assuming it was Ducky, Ziva went to open it.

"Hey, Zi, why the long face." Tony asked with a bright smile plastered onto his face. Ziva stood there dumbfounded. "Um, ZI, anybody home?"

As quickly as she went into shock, she came out of it. "TONY!!!" She shouted practically kocking him over as she ran into his arms.She streached up and kissed him, hard.

"Yeah, Zi, I'm right here, and so is everyone else." He hinted.

"They know, I told them because, because I thought you were dead."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because, your ship went down and there were no survivors." Mcgee said as he, Abby, and Gibbs joined the couple in the front hallway.

"Really? I was already on land at the time. No one told you that?"

"No! Tony I can't believe your alive!" Abby squealed.

"Ok then." Ziva still hadn't let go of him and he had to literally pry her off so he could breathe and greet everyone else. He walked up to Gibbs. "Hey Boss." Gibbs didn't say anything, but he slapped him upside the head. "What was..."

"That was for making me think you were dead. And this," he slapped him again, "is for not telling me that you and Ziva were dating, let alone married."

"Um, yeah, sorry 'bout that last one, Boss, but you know, rule tweleve and all..."

"Yeah I know."

"And you aren't mad?"


"Okay then, now I can do this." He pulled Ziva in and properly kissed her. "I love you, Ziva, and I'm sorry."

"I love you too, Tony."
A/N: Yeah, sorry, I was trying to write something bad but... well I kinda suck at that. Please tell me what you think of this story! Constructive critisim is most appreciated.
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry, I was board and needed to write something. This story will probably be viewed as a piece of crap, but please still review it. All critism is accepted and appreciated
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