Writers Cramp
How had it started? He didn’t know, or should that be, remember. The words, on post-its, till receipts, you know how it is. You write, word association. You write subjects. You write adverbs, adjectives, the things you see. It had started when his car had broken down and had been sent to the garage, for repair. Damn, Gibbs for borrowing. Still it was good, in the sense that, he had to take public transport. It allowed him to people watch. That was what books are made of. What writers just adore. A blank canvas..........no, pieces of paper, that come together like a jigsaw. Like the chapters of a book.
-oOo-
“Well good morning, McCarless or should that be careless, I mean fancy lending to Gibbs.”
“Tony, it really doesn’t matter. My car was old. I really need a new one, but with my new apartment,..............yes things are a bit tight.”
“More than we can say for your trousers. Eh, McSkinny?” Tony replied.
“ I for one............” Ziva started to say.
“And one for all..............” Tony replied, pointing a ruler into the air like one of Dumus’s three musketeers, and smiling the DNozzo smile.
“Definately D’Artaghan “ Gibbs shouted, as he entered the bullpen, “And yes you’re getting a bit like Oliver Reed, which McGee isn’t. So grab your gear, Athos and Porthos..............dead Petty Officer.”
-oOo-
The bus journey. The teenager with the ipod. The head, bobbing up and down like one of those dogs you see in the back of cars. The loving couple, looking so lovingly into each others eyes. Their fingers entwined like their bodies would like to be. The married couple ignoring....well they had slept together, what else did you want. Tim smiled. Love. The mother with the two children squeezed into the double seat. The blind man and the dog. Funny, how everyone stood to give him a seat.
“Doggy Mum.” one of the children cried.
The married couple turned and smiled at each other, as if they remembered the good times with a child or a pet. Oh yes, people watching, was so good for writing.
-oOo-
Another day, another body found in Rock Creek Park. Sometimes the team wondered if it had become the local refuse dump. Female Petty Officer, out of Quantico. Gibbs wondered if this was how they got new recruits, or was it how promotions took place these days. Tony thought it a bit careless all these dead bodies. Tim? He was getting into the swing for his next big book. He was people watching.
-oOo-
Back at the office, Tim sat staring at the screen. What was it Gibbs had said? “Always be observant. Helps solve crimes.” But it was also good to people watch, as you drew on the strengths of his victims. His early works, Amy, LJ Tibbs, Lisa and Agent Tommy…….the team. He had used them, and himself, Agent McGregor. Ok the book had sold, but he had been laughed at, and ridiculed. No this time it would be different. He would use people he didn’t know. But he wasn’t very good at original characters. That was until he was travelling by bus. Shops, carrier bags, he had watched and started to mix names up. Obituaries he found good as well. Trouble was he was beginning to get forgetful. Last report he had given to Gibbs, it had a had a post-it suck inside.
Gibbs had looked and read and smiled before shouting. “McGee, I love you too.” stripping the yellow paper from the file and holding it to Tim, only for it to be snatched by the deft hand of Tony.
“So what do we have here then. Note for the teacher?” he questioned.
“Don’t Tony, please.”
“Please………Would it be wrong if I kissed you? Now what sort of message is that to show the Boss?”
“Please Tony it is for my new book. I have been jotting down words. Things I’ve over heard. Things I have seen while travelling by public transport. I………I……..”
“I know you have been scribbling?” Gibbs shouted at Tim, “But could you try, try to keep your private life, well private.”
Poor Tim he really was not going to hear the last of this. But what would unfold over the next weekend was not what he wanted at all.
-oOo-
It was a dark, wet Friday night. Tim was looking forward to the weekend and the silence that it would hold. He had the gist of his new story. It was going to be a swashbuckling romantic comedy. Now that was different for him. He had his hero, and his heroine. A cross between the Pirates of the Caribbean and Captain Hook, with a little Treasure Island and Kidnapped all thrown into turmoil. His heroine, Catriona, pinched from the title of a book by Robert Louis Stevenson, a great Scottish writer. And his hero, Ruben. He wanted to write a children’s type book. As he sat in the seclusion of his apartment, he wondered if it would be obscene to maybe be slightly eccentric and write naked. He stripped off, to his boxers and lay back in the chair. Placing his hands behind his head , he closed his eyes and began to smile. Oh yes the first chapters were starting to form. That was when the phone rang.
“McGee. Tim, my friend. Got a problem.”
“Don’t we all Tony.” he thought.
“Tim. My apartment………well not mine but the one across the landing……….caught light. Fire damage………… Smoke…………. I need……….thought of you………….Could have tried Gibbs. But he’s………you know……not with it, like us youngsters ….so………”
“No, no, no.” was all Tim could say in his mind.
“Would only be the weekend or so…………” Tony had pleaded.
“Ok only for a few days, the weekend.” Tim replied as he heard the door bell ring, “Hang on a moment there is someone on the intercom.”
“I know probie……….me.” as Tony went quiet and Tim just went into a cold sweat. He gingerly opened the door and saw a leering Tony.
“Bit like…………it’s Johnny, out the Shining.” Tony sneered, looking down at the boxers, and then barging in.
“Make yourself at home, won’t you.” Tim muttered under his breath.
“Sure will, McGenerous,” throwing his hold-hall into the corner, “Would get some clothes on Timmy, might catch your death.” as Tony lay on the settee and put his feet up, and switched on the Movie Channel.
Tim turned and made his way to his bedroom. He pulled on his trackie bottoms and returned to the room.
“Top probie. Get a chill in the chest.” Tony said, not looking from the screen. Tim turned and went back to the room. He just wanted to die. He returned wearing a hoodie, pushed Tony’s feet from his couch, and sat down.
“Good, now we get a pizza and some beer for the evening,” Tony laughed dialling a number on his cell.
-oOo-
Tim sat staring at the TV screen, this was not how he envisaged spending his weekend. DiNozzo belched and farted.
“Tim, we never discussed sleeping arrangements, did we?” Tony now slurred.
“Well you can sleep on the couch, if you want, that way you can watch all the films you want. Me? It’s my bed and I’ll take the lap-top, and do what I had planned to do this weekend. So if you will excuse me,” Tim replied getting up and picking up his computer, “I am off to bed.”
“Don’t make too much noise with the shredder now.” Tony laughed.
“Lap-top Tone, back space and delete keys.” now wishing he had a delete button for his work partner.
-oOo-
The next morning was bright. Tim wondered if last night had been a dream, or a nightmare. He lay still in the warmth of his bed, all he could hear was a noise, a strange noise. He gasped, no be remembered. DiNozzo. Yes Tony was his house guest for the weekend. He, that would be Tim, needed to walk and think. He raised himself out of bed, slipped on his boxers, well it was his apartment, and went to forage for coffee.
He passed the passed out Tony. The mouth open, the bottles empty by his side the TV showing some black and white war movie, he looked closely, yes “The Man that never was” a 1956 British war film. How he wished Tony never was. Tim went to the kitchen.
“Mine’s two sugars.” he heard Tony shout.
“Know Tony, I have got you coffee before.”
“You sleep ok?” Tony enquired.
“As well as could be expected under the circumstances.” Tim answered, “Now you did say just the weekend didn’t you?”
“Well Timmy, depends on what need done doesn’t it. Not much can be done over the weekend.”
“Thought you could maybe go, and clean it.” Tim replied sarcastically, the emphasis on go.
“Will later, but first I need a shower. Don’t suppose you have a towel I could use?” as Tony stood and scratched his nether regions.
Tim just shut his eyes and wished, before walking away. He returned with a bath sheet which he threw at Tony. “Just don’t make a mess and leave water all over the place.”
“Hard not to Tim, it is a shower room.” as he ran to the door.
-oOo-
Tony returned late Saturday afternoon. He was carrying another bag.
“Hope you don’t mind, but looks like it could be a while.”
“And how long is a while Tony?” Tim questioned.
“Oh you know a week or two. I mean, might as well get it decorated as well. And new furnishings”
Tim turned and dug his nails into his hands. He didn’t think he could last the weekend let alone a fortnight. He walked into his room and slammed the door.
“Temper, temper.” he heard Tony shout, and then the sound of the TV going on and a war movie starting. Tim wondered if he should emigrate.
-oOo-
Sunday became Monday and the two agents arrived together. The one good thing, to come out of this, was the fact that Tim got a lift to work. They emerged from the elevator.
“Morning Ziva, and have you had a good weekend?” Tony enquired.
“I did thank you. You?”
“We had a delightful time, didn’t we Tim?” Tony added looking at poor Tim, who was head down switching on his computer.
“You spent the weekend together. Is this some brotherhood I do not know of?” Ziva questioned.
“No, I have a problem with my apartment…….slight smoke and fire damage. I asked Tim if I could stay with him and he replied yes.” Tony answered.
“Under duress.” Tim whispered.
“Oh yes he was very underdressed when I arrived. Were you not Timmy?”
“Don’t call me Timmy.” Tim replied, “I was just settling down for the weekend to write. And then Tony called to say he had a problem and could I help out. Now it would appear I have a house guest for a few more days, if not weeks.”
“It will be fun Tim. Trust me.” Tony answered.
“Don’t.” Gibbs now added entering the conversation, “Never trust DiNozzo. He’s his own worst enemy. But what’s up?”
Tim started to relate the weekend happenings, interrupted by Tony. Gibbs just looked at the two boys, and shook his head. This was not good. He needed to do something, but what. He couldn’t leave Tim in the hands of Tony for a fortnight. He wondered. No, he couldn’t live with that idea either. He did hatch a plan.
-oOo-
The next morning saw the boys arrive bickering. This was not good. The strain was beginning to tell on Tim.
“McGee,” Gibbs shouted, “Need to see you in the conference room. Now.” as he headed for the stairs. Tim duly followed. He was used to taking orders, or at least obeying Tony, anything for a quiet life. He followed Gibbs into the room and shut the door.
“Sit,” Gibbs ordered, “How do I put this without appearing……….I don’t know what. Come and stay with me. No Tim, not like that. I did the basement up. Self contained basement flat. Ok we share the toilet facilities, but the room is there. I mean, it must be pretty cramped with Tony about. What if you charge him rent. Not only will that make him sit up and take notice, you get a little money. You could write to your hearts content in the basement. I mean it’s not like I’m using it at the moment. What you say?”
Tim sat in amazement, he didn’t know what to say. Yes was all he could think and he so wanted to hug Gibbs.
“Will you speak to Tony please.” was all he could muster.
Gibbs looked at his junior agent, he felt a father concern, yes he would talk to Tony, the older sibling so to speak. “Get Tony to come and speak to me. Ok, off you go.” as he shooed Tim away. Tim bounced out the door, and headed down the stairs.
“Hey DiNozzo, Boss wants to see you promto, in the conference room, like now Tony.” as he laid his hands on the desk and smiled.
“Fine, you get a bollocking?” Tony asked rising and walking away.
“I haven’t learnt this word, is it new?” Ziva asked.
“Ziva what does Gibbs give you if you do something wrong.” Tim asked.
“He reprimands me he………”
“Yes Ziva…….. he what?” Tim questioned.
“Bollocks at me?” she answered looking puzzled.
“Not quite the answer I expected, but I think you get the picture.” as Tim sat at his desk, looking about.
-oOo-
“So what you say DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked.
“I’m easy.” Tony said leaning back, placing his hands behind his head.
“Well I’m not Tony. Right now I see you as an older child annoying the younger one. So you want the apartment, or my offer?”
As Tony took the smile off his face and looked into the piercing blue eyes of his Boss, he realised just how formidable Gibbs could really be.
“Yes.”
“Yes what DiNozzo?” Gibbs shouted.
“Yes Boss, I will pay Tim for the convenience of his apartment. And yes Boss I will get mine sorted ASAP. Will that be all Boss?”
“What you think DiNozzo?”
“Yes Boss.” as Tony left the room and went to find Tim. He found him talking to Ziva.
“Sorry for taking advantage. I didn’t realise I was going to be so overpowering. And I will take up Gibbs offer of your apartment.” Tony said now looking sheepish.
“Good. Boss said he would make out a contract, but I don’t think that will be needed. Do you Tony?”
“No Tim, I don’t.” Tony replied.
-oOo-
The weekend saw Tim quite settled in the basement, in his boxers. Gibbs, he had decided to go and see his dad. He couldn’t see himself in the house with Tim. Anyway he wanted to see his dad, even if they did fight like Tim and Tony. Tony he had realised that it was no fun on your own, and had made a constructive effort to get his own apartment cleaned.
Tim looked about the basement. Yes, this was where ideas came to fruitation. The whole of the basement open spaced, no writers cramp here. No cramp, no, no-one. Just Tim, the laptop and his imagination.
The End.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony goes to stay with Tim, when there ia a fire in Tony's apartment block