AN: I took great liberties here and made up the scene from Tony's childhood.
“Anthony, good to see you again, my boy.” Ducky said as Tony strolled into Autopsy at exactly 2 p.m. the time of his appointment.
Tony nodded. “It’s good to be back, Ducky.”
Ducky pointed to one of the unoccupied autopsy tables and Tony sat down. He unbuttoned his shirt and Ducky removed his bandage and checked his wound. He gently probed the area with his fingers. It was still tender and Tony winced a couple of times.
“I'll leave the bandage off, Tony. You’re healed enough. Be careful with that area, it is still a little tender to the touch.” Ducky said removing his gloves as Tony remained on the table.
Ducky stood and stared at him for a moment. He had expected Tony to get up and walk out the door.
“Ducky…” Tony said. “…I want to tell you what I was going to tell you that day.” Tony buttoned his shirt as he talked.
“Anthony,” Ducky said, looking at him. “You’re fine. You will live to be an old man as long as one of the husbands of the women you date doesn’t get to you first.” Ducky said joking with him.
Tony smiled back at him, then he got serious. “I thought I was going to die out there, Ducky. And I was ok with it. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to die. But I am not afraid of dying, never have been.” Tony paused, looking at his hands folded in his lap. “But I have never made my peace with it before, accepted it as fact.” Tony looked at Ducky. “I just wanted to thank you. I know I am not an easy person to deal with when I’m sick. I don’t like hospitals. I don’t like doctors.” Tony paused. “I have only ever told Gibbs this….”
Ducky didn’t speak, but nodded, encouraging Tony to continue.
“When I was little, about 7, I broke my arm. I fell down a flight of stairs.” Tony paused. “Well, that is not entirely true. I didn’t fall. I had broken something of my dads. I don’t remember what it was. I took off running to get away from him. He came after me, yelling, screaming at me, and calling me every name in the book. I had started down the stairs when he caught me. He grabbed me by the arm to stop me. Then he pushed me. I landed at the bottom of the stairs and he left me there. The housekeeper and my nanny took me to the hospital. They were told by my father EXACTLY what to tell the doctors. They were then instructed to drop me off. They did what they were told. They left me there, seven years old and terrified. I had no idea what was going on. Nobody tells a 7-year-old what they are going to do to him. They think he won’t understand..." Tony paused. “...I had these people in white. People I didn’t know, coming at me with all these machines. They wheeled me into a big room with this huge x-ray equipment and put me under it. They tell me to hold real still. Meanwhile my arm was hurting like hell and tears were streaming down my face.” Tony paused and sighed. “It wasn’t a good experience, Ducky.”
“Oh, Anthony, that must have been absolutely dreadful. I am so sorry you had to endure that.” Ducky said, he moved to stand beside Tony as he sat on the table. “Did you father…?”
Tony shook his head. “He was never charged with anything, He didn’t even come to the hospital to see me. I was in there a week. My mom and my nanny came; the housekeeper came, when she could sneak out of the house.” Tony sighed. “The doctors believed what the ‘help’ had told them. They had no reason not to. I don’t even think they looked for signs of child abuse in those days. I had been to that hospital before. Nobody is as clumsy as my dad made me out to be. If anybody had looked back in my record, they would have seen a pattern. But, Ducky, my dad was a respected man. He gave a lot of money to a lot of people, very public money. Nobody would believe he was an alcoholic child abuser. That’s not what people saw, not what they wanted to see.”
“‘I’m sorry, Anthony,”
“Yeah, me too.’ Tony shook his head. “Every time I go into the hospital, l feel like that 7-year-old boy all over again.”
Tony looked at Ducky. “I just wanted you to know, I appreciate how you handle me. You let me know what you are going to do to me. You listen to me. You know how far to push me to get me to do what you know is best for me. I’m glad you know me that well. I wanted to thank you, for all you’ve done for me.”
Ducky nodded and there was a few moments of silence before either one spoke.
“It was hard Tony. It was hard to see you get shot. I have never seen anyone get shot before.” Ducky said, trying to explain his emotions that day. “I have always thought of you as a very special young man. I know you and Gibbs have a special relationship. I always thought of you as something of a nephew. I didn’t have any brothers and sisters. I never really gave marriage any thought. I guess I was too busy pursing my own interests for anything like that. I don’t regret those decisions now. But there are times that I do wonder. At any rate…” Ducky said, shaking his head as if to get himself back on track. “…I feel very close to you.”
Tony nodded his head and smiled. “I’m honored, Ducky.”
Ducky put his hand on Tony’s and patted it. “You just made an old man very happy, Anthony.”
Tony put his other hand on top of Ducky’s and squeezed it. “You aren’t old, Ducky, just very wise.” Tony smiled and got up off the autopsy table.
“Thank you, Anthony.” Ducky said as Tony exited autopsy.
TBC
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