Chapter 3
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Gibbs took them down his street and onto the main street, towards the Potomac. Probie trotted faithfully alongside the two men, his head held high and tail wagging happily. He would occasionally turn his head to whatever sounds or smells that protruded into his senses, or he’d look up and back at the two men, like he was having the best time ever. It was strangely… harmonious to see Gibbs walking a dog like this, Tony thought. The pair just looked so right together.
The sun had almost set completely, and the western sky glowed a hazy amber. It was starting to get dark, the streetlights coming on one by one. Tony was grateful that Gibbs forced that hoodie on him, because just as they were walking down the main street, the wind started to pick up. The sweater gave him just enough thickness to remain warm without overheating. Gibbs’ thoughtfulness surprised him, and it made him smile.
That and the fact that it was Gibbs’. Tony could catch a whiff of Gibbs’ scent every once in a while from the hoodie, and it made him feel like he was surrounded by Gibbs’ arms in a tight embrace.
It made him feel safe.
Yes, safe. That’s what Gibbs embodied to him - safety, dependability, comfort, trust. He’d always felt more grounded with Gibbs around. Nothing - no one - ever came close to it. That, more than anything, was what drew Tony towards Gibbs. The man was like the ever burning Sun, radiating heat and warmth and reassurance, and his little blip of a planet couldn’t help being pulled into Gibbs’ orbit, circling but never getting closer.
Tony looked up, beyond the rows of houses towards the river. Across that long expanse of water would be the delta where the Navy Yard stood. He thought about all the years he’d worked for the former Marine. They’d been through a lot, the two of them. There was that case that brought Gibbs to Baltimore and into his life, then Kate - his heart ached at the thought of her - and that whole debacle with Ari and Ziva, Gibbs’ amnesia, Jeanne and Jenny’s death... He’d gone afloat, came back, and then stumbled into that other mess of Rivkin, Eli David and almost losing Ziva to some over-caffeinated terrorist. The cases they’d worked on would make most Hollywood movies pale in comparison. No wonder McGee was able to write their lives into a bestseller.
Somehow, even through all of the craziness, the two of them never once lost their faith in each other. In the ten years they’d worked together, they’d always been there for one another, always watched each other’s six. They were partners in the truest sense of the word - of this Tony had no doubt, regardless of what their paystubs said.
God. Ten years! Most people’s marriage wouldn’t even last half that long. Tony wondered if that was something of significance to the older man. He wondered if Gibbs had ever given it some thought - about the history they shared, about the bond between them that sometimes felt thicker than blood. How long would this - could this - last?
He shuddered at the very thought that all of this would one-day end. Gibbs would eventually retire, and he - God only knew where he would end up - would move on, like everyone else. Or they’d die in the line of duty. Either way, he had to consider the very realistic possibility that all this could be gone in the blink of an eye.
Like it almost was five years ago.
His gut clenched at the realization of eventuality.
He couldn’t help wondering if the older man would ever consider something… more? Something beyond the friendship they seemed to, now, share?
“Penny for your thoughts?” Gibbs’ voice penetrated through the foggy thoughts in Tony’s head, bringing him back to the present. The older man smiled faintly, but he had the look of worry in his eyes. “You feeling okay, Tony?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Tony cleared his throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You looked a bit… distant,” Gibbs was frowning. Something was clearly bothering the younger man, and he didn’t like it. He stopped, and felt Tony’s forehead with the back of his free hand. “Feels normal. You sure you’re warm enough?”
“Gibbs - Jethro, I’m fine, honest,” Tony rolled his eyes and resumed walking. “If I don’t look fine it’s because we just had one hell of a week.”
“Yeah, I know,” Gibbs sighed, tilting his head to loosen some of the kinks in his own neck.
They ended up walking to a park by the waterfront. There weren’t too many people around because of the chilly evening, just the occasional jogger and fellow dog-walkers. Gibbs steered them towards the river, where a small trail ran along the shore.
Tony walked over to the edge, leaning his frame over the railing with his forearms resting on top. He liked the view - just a wide expense of water, flowing calmly and majestically. The river must look amazing basking in the rising morning sun. To the north end of the park was a marina, and the National Mall was just beyond the river, past the small airport. Everything felt so calm, so serene, and just being there was enough to make Tony relax completely.
Probie was busy assessing their surroundings, sniffing, listening. Gibbs walked up, leaning over the rail next to Tony, right into his personal space. He waited, patiently, for the younger man to organize his thoughts.
“Back there, when I spaced,” Tony started, eyes focused at a random spot of the ever-flowing river. “I was thinking about us.”
Gibbs nodded, unsure of what Tony meant or whether he should say anything at all.
“Us, the team, NCIS, whatever. It just struck me that this would all end someday. Maybe sooner, maybe later, but it will end,” Tony looked distant again, and Gibbs couldn’t help huddling closer, hoping that his presence would be enough to ground the younger man.
“So much of what we do carries such great risks that it’s a miracle we are still standing here,” Tony’s voice hitched slightly, and Gibbs just knew Tony had thought of Kate. And Paula. And Pacci. Those whom they’d lost to the job. “If not today, then the next week, the next month, the next year… it’s just too easy to lose it all in the blink of an eye.”
Gibbs placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. Tony finally looked at him, his eyes hollow and sad. Gibbs wished he could do something - anything - to sooth the hurt he could feel emanating from the younger man. He wanted to pull him into a tight embrace, to tell him that he’d be there, that he’d never be alone - he’d try, come hell or high water.
“We almost lost you once, Jethro. I almost lost you,” Tony shook his head. “I don’t think I could go through that again.”
“Tony, what are you saying?” Gibbs grabbed hold of Tony’s arm, unaware of the concern that was seeping into his voice. “You wanna quit? Gonna give up?”
“What? No! Jethro-” Tony turned to gawk at Gibbs incredulously. “I’m not quitting. Why would you think that I’d want to quit?”
Because you said you couldn’t go through that again? Gibbs thought to himself. “Then what’re you saying?” Gibbs eased up on his hold, his thumb unconsciously rubbing against the material underneath.
“I just want you to promise me that you’d be careful. It’s not unreasonable for a friend to be concerned for your well-being, is it?” Tony sighed in exasperation, emphasizing the word ‘friend’. “Look, you’re not forty anymore. You’re not even fifty anymore.” Gibbs frowned at the mention of his age. “Every time I see you run headlong into some volatile situation I get scared that this time we’d lose you for good. I know we’d always have each other’s six, but-”
“Tony, you’re more than ready to lead this team if anything were to happen to me. You know that. You’re the best agent I’ve ever worked with, and I’m sure you’d do a great job leading the team.”
“That’s not the point, Jethro,” Tony was happy for the praises, but…
“Then what is?” Gibbs was now staring at Tony with the kind of intensity usually reserved for interrogations.
“The point is that I get worried,” Tony stared right back at Gibbs, unconsciously challenging the older man to rebut. “Because I care about you.”
“Ah hell, Tony,” Gibbs sighed, wrapping his free hand around Tony’s shoulder, hauling the younger man into a one-armed hug.
Tony cares about me. Gibbs reveled in the realization that Tony really did care. Many people had claimed to care about him, but not many actually meant what they said. Does that mean Tony might want something… more? His heart fluttered at the possibility.
“I care about you too, you know?” Gibbs said quietly as he released Tony from his arm, looking intensely into Tony’s eyes. “I worry too.”
They were standing close. Too close. Their breath mingled as they stared into each other’s eyes, seeing their own reflection looking back at them. Green meeting blue, each becoming entranced by the other.
Something - a bird or a squirrel - ran through the grass, and Probie began barking loudly, breaking the spell. The two men sobered at the commotion and looked away from one another. Tony was sure he was blushing like a virgin bride on her wedding day.
“C’mon, it’s getting dark. We should head back,” Gibbs refused to look at the younger man, and instead, tugged Probie’s leash lightly, silencing the dog effectively.
“Yeah,” Tony stretched his arm upwards, stifling a yawn at the same time. He looked at the river once more, and decided one of these days he would come for a run early in the morning just to watch the sunrise.
The trek back was a much more lighthearted affair. The conversation flowed easily between them. Tony complained to Gibbs about OSU Buckeye’s premature defeat at the hands of the UKentucky Wildcats. Gibbs talked about the kennel he was going to build for Probie. Probie was running forward, chasing some invisible thing, then running back to his humans, jumping around them in circles and looking very pleased with himself.
“I wonder how old Probie is,” Tony watched Probie’s playful spirit in amazement as they walked up Gibbs’ front steps. “He’s just so… big, but he acts like a puppy all the time.”
“We’ll find out tomorrow at the vet, I guess,” Gibbs chuckled at Tony’s comment. “Dogs don’t grow up. They get bigger but they’re always going to be puppies at heart.”
“You seemed to know an awful lot about dogs,” Tony held on to Probie’s leash as Gibbs went into the kitchen to grab a rag for wiping down Probie’s dirty paws. He watched as Gibbs released Probie, who walked over to his water bowl, lapped a couple of times then ran across to the living room. He walked towards the dog bed, sniffed it for a second with reservation then circled the thing before finally settling down.
“Used to work with them in Kuwait,” Gibbs replied from the kitchen. “Sniffer dogs working with the bomb techs clearing IEDs and mines. Got a squad of them stationed where my men were.”
“Cool,” Tony yawned again as he deposited himself into the couch, finally feeling the fatigue from the past week settle in.
“Many of us who’d been on tours owe our lives to those dogs, even now,” Gibbs came back into the living room with two tumblers and a bottle of bourbon. Pouring a finger or so into each glass, he asked. “Drink?”
“Sure,” Tony nodded, accepting a tumbler. It wasn’t too late yet; he could have a quick sip, unwind some more at Casa Gibbs before heading out. It’s Friday after all, with no work the next day so he could sleep in if he wanted to. Probie was resting his big head on top of his front paws, looking in the direction of the couch. “I still find it amazing that Probie would obey your every command just like that.”
“Been wondering about that myself. I’m good with dogs but not that good,” Gibbs plopped himself down next to Tony. “With most dogs, the trick is in the intonation. Get that right and establish yourself as an alpha in their hierarchy then the rest is easy.”
“Heh, I thought that only works on the perps and the probies?” Tony chuckled at Gibbs’ description of dog training.
“Well, he is a ‘Probie’,” Gibbs winked at Tony, a smirk played at the corner of his lips.
“Touché,” Tony tossed his head back against the couch, smiling as he sipped the drink in his hand.
They sat there in companionable silence, neither of them felt like talking, until Gibbs felt a weight against his shoulder. He looked down and found the younger man leaning against him, fast asleep. Gibbs thought about waking him, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He looked exhausted, and it’s probably not a good idea for him to drive home in this state. So Gibbs carefully removed the glass from Tony’s hands and placed it on the coffee table before gently shifting out from under Tony as to not disturb him. He then slipped upstairs quietly and grabbed a blanket from the guest room.
Gibbs couldn’t resist carding his fingers through those soft locks again as he tucked the blanket securely around the younger man. Tony gave a quiet moan at the touch, nose rubbing against the blanket near his face, and let out a satisfied sigh.
“Sleep, Tony,” Gibbs whispered as he hesitantly placed a kiss on Tony’s hair. “Sweet dreams.”
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TBC
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony does some thinking while walking Probie with Gibbs.
Chapter End Notes:
This is written in response to rose_malmaison’s ‘If a dog was the teacher’ fic challenge :)
Thanks to silvertales for the speedy beta!
Thanks to silvertales for the speedy beta!