Chapter 6
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Tony touched his face where Gibbs’ hand had been, and let out a shaky breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. He’d driven home in a daze, and only comprehending what Gibbs had done after he was inside his apartment door.
He let his eyes flutter shut, memorizing the touch. It was as if he could still feel the warm palm on his face, the digits rough from years of woodworking and gun-use, and the mere memories of the encounter was sending shivers down his spine. He was tempted to just brush it off as some kind of stress-induced hallucination, but he couldn’t.
And it wasn’t like Gibbs had never patted his face like that before, but this time it somehow felt like there was more. There was something else in Gibbs’ eyes when they stood by his car, Gibbs’ hand on his cheek; something he’d never seen before. He was at a loss, which he hadn’t felt since Jenny had offered him Rota, and before that when Gibbs left for Mexico.
Tony tried to recount the day spent with Gibbs as he went about putting his apartment into a semblance of order. He thought it went well, considering their new-found friendship outside of work. The day had been full of surprises, too. Taking Probie shopping and then to the vet had been an experience - what he told Gibbs was the truth; he’d never had a pet before. He’d surprised himself when he found himself answering Gibbs’ question about his past. He knew he’d surprised Gibbs as well.
He never thought it’d be that easy to talk about it, and he never thought he’d have this kind of easy banter with his hard-ass marine of a boss. It was like Gibbs was a complete different man off the job. Well, not completely different, just… another side of the multi-faceted enigma that was Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tony was pleasantly surprised that Gibbs willingly lay down on the grass to watch the clouds with him, and he was even more surprised by Gibbs’ openness to talk about Shannon and Kelly.
As he stripped and step into the shower to wash away the day’s grime, with hot enough to scald water beating down his back, his mind wandered back to Gibbs’ warm, rough palm on his face and he just couldn’t help wonder. What would Gibbs do if he’d leaned into his touch? Or if he’d turned and kissed his palm? Or… if he’d been brave enough to just kiss the man?
You’ve got it bad, Tony. He shook his head as he finished his bedtime routine and dragged himself back to the bedroom, ignoring the part of his anatomy that was lengthening and hardening at the thought of the many ‘what-ifs’.
Tony sighed, climbing into bed, and burrowed deep in a cocoon of blankets. His mind was swirling with the little moments between him and Gibbs as he shut his eyes, trying to sleep. His thoughts finally settled back onto the thought of Gibbs’ hand on his cheek as he drifted off to slumber.
---
Gibbs straightened his back and winced when he heard the loud cracks of his spine, complaining of him overworking himself. Again.
He glanced at the clock he had on the wall behind him, surprised to find that it was actually quite late. He’d been working for a while it seemed. Gibbs sighed as he began packing everything up and putting his tools away. He’d hoped that the wood would put him into a more relaxed mood to sleep in, but that hadn’t been the case. It merely delayed the inevitable return of the memories from the past day and a half.
If he were truthful to himself, he’d say that it had been one of the best days. Unexpected, but great nonetheless. He never would’ve guessed that his one good deed of letting Probie stay and into his life would end the day with him a lot closer to Tony on a personal level.
He looked down at the dog that was dozing at the foot of his stool. It was a good thing he wasn’t building a boat anymore. Sawdust and dog fur definitely didn’t mix.
Gibbs was sure he’d surprised both of them by opening up that afternoon. He couldn’t help it; not after he finally realized what Tony meant to him.
A second chance.
A chance to love again, with the whole of his being.
Gibbs could feel the swell in his heart from the love he had for the younger man. He could still feel the cool cheeks under his palm and the vulnerability in Tony’s demeanor when Tony bid his goodnight.
He was slightly lost. Lost in the wonder he felt as he acknowledged the fact that he was in love with Tony.
Rummaging through the drawers under the workbench, Gibbs found what he was looking for.
The wood was old. It was easy to tell that the piece had been hand crafted. The markings and carvings could only have come from an experienced hand. The layer of dust on the inset glass was carefully wiped away to reveal a picture.
Gibbs cradled the frame carefully in his hands, the smiling faces of Shannon and Kelly looking back at him. He ran his fingers over their faces, the smile on his face tinged with sadness.
“It’s been a while, I guess,” Gibbs’ voice cracked as a sudden bout of emotions welled up. “I missed you guys.”
He had to stop and tilt his head back, breathing deeply with his eyes closed, just to reign in the emotions that were running amok. Sniffling softly, he looked back down at the picture frame.
He’d crafted it just before leaving for that last tour to Kuwait. The picture was taken around that time in Stillwater, the three of them taking a trip up to visit Jack on a weekend.
“I don’t know how to say this,” Gibbs continued. “I think… I know I’m in love.”
He leaned his arms on the workbench, holding the picture frame in front of his face.
“Remember when you made me promise, if something were to happen to either one of us, that the other should live on and try to find happiness again?” Gibbs let out a lopsided smile. “Well, I think I’m finally going to fulfill that promise.
“It’s Tony, Shan,” Gibbs shook his head. “It’s Tony. I love him. I don’t know why I only realize that now, today, but I love him. Have for a long time, too, I just never realized that I do. Too stubborn, maybe.
“Guess I just didn’t think I’d be able to find someone that I could love like I loved you, after… you know…but, God, Shan, Tony is…” Gibbs sniffed as he said, smiling. “Ducky always said Tony reminded him of how I used to be, but he was wrong. Tony reminds me so much of you, Shan. So much life, so much energy - it’s infectious. He makes me laugh, Shan, like you did.
“And he gets me. He really gets me. Tony actually likes the basement - can you believe it? You used to be the only one. It’s so easy being around him. I don’t need to be what everybody else wanted me to be, don’t need to pretend.
“Can you believe that I adopted a dog because of him? Well, it’s really more because of Abby but you should’ve seen the look on his face. He was actually upset that he couldn’t take the dog, and when I told him I’ll take Probie - yeah, he only answers to that - it was like Christmas came early for him,” Gibbs smiled fondly, remembering the previous day. “We’re building a kennel together. God! He’s only been gone for a few hours but I miss him already.”
Gibbs’ breath hitched as he realized how invested in Tony he really was, and it scared him for a moment.
“What should I do, Shan?” he asked. “I don’t want to scare him away. I think he feels the same but I’m just too… I’m just not sure what he’d say. I can’t lose him. I’d rather never tell him than risk losing him.”
Go slow, he could almost hear Shannon tell him, could almost feel her hand on his shoulder. And Gibbs realized that she was right. He had to try. He had to know.
“You’re going to laugh at me. I know - you told me so,” Gibbs snorted. “All those ex-wives, trying to replace you. Should’ve listened.”
He smiled, shaking his head, and made up his mind.
“Thank you,” he said as he placed a gentle kiss to the frame, and looked at it one last time before putting the picture down on the bench. Gibbs got up, and patted himself down. Probie sobered up, his head snapping up as Gibbs moved off the chair.
“Come on, boy,” Gibbs commanded as he made his way towards the stairs. “Time for bed.”
---
“Boss?” Tony’s voice rang out as the front door opened. “Jethro?”
“In here,” Gibbs poked his head out from the kitchen, giving the younger man a bright smile.
“You know your front door’s unlocked, right?” Tony pointed behind him with his thumb as he approached the entrance to the kitchen. “Thought you’re locking that now, with Probie around?”
“I left it open so you wouldn’t have to knock. I was in the basement,” Gibbs said, looking back at Tony over his shoulder. “You want something to drink? Coffee? Beer?”
“Coffee’s fine,” Tony smiled as he took off his jacket and went to hang it up by the door. “You eaten yet?”
Gibbs shook his head. “Been doing house chores all morning. Was gonna make something before you came but I got distracted by the boat.”
Tony chuckled. “Gotta do laundry even if you’re the boss?”
“Something like that,” Gibbs smiled back, handing Tony a big mug of coffee.
“Well, I brought lunch. I was going to make some stuff to bring over but I ran out of time,” Tony pointed to the small bag he’d left on the dining table as he doctored his coffee with milk and sugar. “Went to the farmer’s market to stock up, so I got some fish sandwiches for lunch. Their curly fries are to die for.”
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “That so?”
“Betcha can’t eat just one?” Tony grinned.
“We’ll see,” Gibbs snorted. “Wanna eat outside? It’s beautiful out.”
“Sure,” Tony followed Gibbs out to the patio with the bag and his coffee. “Where’s Probie?”
“Over there,” Gibbs nodded towards the far corner of his backyard, where Probie was busy digging up a hole.
“What is he doing?” Tony looked at Probie, the concern on his face apparent.
“No idea,” Gibbs shrugged. “If he just wants a hole to hide stuff, I’m ok with it, but if he digs more than one, then we’re gonna need to have a serious talk.”
“You do realize that he’s a dog right?” Tony shook his head in amusement. Serious talk?
“Oh yeah,” Gibbs nodded, completely oblivious to Tony’s cynicism.
“Oh my God, you’re an alien. What have you done with the real Gibbs?” Tony couldn’t resist making the pod joke. Gibbs just glared at him and smacked him on the back of the head.
Lunch was consumed with coffee and chitchatting.
“So, what? He just ran?” Gibbs’ eyebrows shot up. Tony had been regaling Gibbs with a case from when he was with Baltimore PD.
“Yep,” Tony nodded, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.
“What a dumbass!” Gibbs shook his head laughing, his eyes shining with delight as he tilted his head to look at Tony. At some point Probie had gotten tired or bored or lonely and came trotting to the patio. After both men made it clear that he wasn’t getting any of their food, the pup snuggled down next to Tony and promptly fell asleep with Tony stroking his fur slowly.
“I know!” Tony joined in the laughter. “But most of the time I’m just thankful for stupid criminals. Makes our jobs easier.”
“I don’t think I have anything that could top that,” Gibbs crumbled the wrapping paper of his sandwich and tossed it into the bag it came with.
“I don’t think we’ll ever be able to,” Tony toss his own wrappers into the bag as well, letting Gibbs take the garbage into the kitchen. “That takes a special kind of stupid.”
“That was really good, by the way. Thanks,” Gibbs said, smiling, after returning from the kitchen. “You ready to get started on the rest of the kennel?”
“Yep,” Tony got up and patted the dirt off of his jeans. He had been really surprised to find that the two of them could fall right back into that comfort and ease from the day before without much effort.
It was like they’d been friends with each other for ages. But then maybe they had been friends all this time that they’ve known each other. Tony thought back to all the time that Gibbs had offered him his couch, and when they’d shared meals at the end of some cases… Maybe they’d really been friends to each other all this time, just not recognizing it until now, and acknowledging their friendship was simply the logical next step to their relationship.
Tony smiled to himself at the revelation.
“Tony! What’re ya doing standin’ there?” Gibbs’ yell woke Tony from his thoughts.
“Be right there!”
---
TBC
Author's Chapter Notes:
After a day filled with laughter and surprises, the boys do a bit of soul searching on their own.
Chapter End Notes:
This is written in response to rose_malmaison’s ‘If a dog was the teacher’ fic challenge :)
Thanks to silvertales for the speedy beta!
Sorry I haven't been updating this fic... RL kinda exploded in my face, and long story short, workload is now doubled, with no end in sight. On top of that I have been trying to finish my NCIS BigBang fic (which is coming along nicely now :), so Probie had to take a backseat. Sorry! *huggles Probie*
Thanks to silvertales for the speedy beta!
Sorry I haven't been updating this fic... RL kinda exploded in my face, and long story short, workload is now doubled, with no end in sight. On top of that I have been trying to finish my NCIS BigBang fic (which is coming along nicely now :), so Probie had to take a backseat. Sorry! *huggles Probie*