---
It was dark where he stood, at the crossroads of God knows where. He'd been here before; he knew this place. He could feel the coldness but he barely registered it. There was this ball of absolute fear and terror churning and twisting in the pit of his stomach that made him sick. He wanted to run. Just run, away from this place to anywhere. Anywhere but here. But his legs refused to cooperate. The darkness was a thick and heavy thing and it was pressing down on him. The pressure made it hard to breath, and he flashed back to when he had the plague. He tried yelling for help but there was no soundâ€"the darkness was like a vacuum, sucking away his voice.
Suddenly the ground underneath him gave away and he found himself grabbing at the collapsing debris for purchase and finding none. He screamed and screamed…
And then Tony woke gasping for air to someone shaking him hard.
Alex woke when Tony began trembling. They were plastered together and Alex could feel him twitching. At first, he released Tony, but then the other man grabbed for him, and Alex sat up, manhandling Tony into his lapâ€"barelyâ€"and shook him gently at first, then harder when Tony continued to struggle.
"Come on, Tony. It's okay! It's okay, Tony!" Alex said, repeating the words again and again. When Tony's eyes blinked open. Alex wrapped him in a tight hug, settling against the headboard. "You're okay, Tony."
Tony could feel the strong arms surrounding him securely, steadying him in the flurry of lingering confusion and panic from his nightmare. He sucked in a large gulp of air and closed his eyes, trying to slow down both his breathing and heart rate.
And then the memories from mere hours ago came flooding back. Tony's eyes snapped open and he bolted out of Alex's arms.
"Oh shit!" Tony scrambled away from Alex in a panic. "I'm so sorry. Oh god… Alex. I'm… nightmare… fuck!" Tony felt like an idiot, for both his nightmare and his inability to get his words out.
Tony moved off of the bed, and began pacing his bedroom, completely unaware of his own nakedness. He dug his fingers into his hair, gripping tight, and buried his face into the crook of his arm. "Shit!"
Alex watched for only a second before jumping up, putting himself in Tony's way. "Settle down," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. When that didn't stop Tony, his panic seeming to rise, Alex locked his arms around Tony in a bear hug. "Settle down!" he said, injecting every bit of Gibbsian authority in his voice. He could feel the tension pouring off Tony, and made his embrace even tighter, completely immobilizing the struggling man.
"It's okay, Tony."
Any man who did the job they did was bound to have nightmares. Alex understood that more than anyone. The protectiveness rose up inside him, and Alex realized he was already invested in this man.
Strong arms were back, wrapping around Tony tightly just before the full-on panic could set in. Settle down, Alex's words cut through the fog of anxiety like knife on butter, calming him. He clung on to Alex, feeling the tension bleed out of him gradually, slowing his breathing.
"I'm sorry," Tony said quietly, burying his face to Alex's neck. He hated being so damn needy. He liked Alex; they had a connection, and if Alex wanted to take things further he wouldn’t have minded. Tony wanted a relationship with Alex, and he didn't want to scare Alex away. "I… it… it's just this stupid nightmare I kept having. It's nothing. I don't know why Iâ€""
"Ah hell, Tony," Alex said, stroking his hands through the other man's hair. "Wanna tell me about it? Mine is when I crashâ€"again. I'd be trapped, there'd be fire, the cockpit…" Alex's voice shook. "It's a bad one, babe. Tell me about yours." He rubbed his stubbled cheek over Tony's. "You don't need to apologize for being human."
Tony swallowed, hard, and leaned into Alex's hand as the other man gently stroked his hair. He was now fully aware of the fact they were both naked, standing in the middle of his bedroom, but he didn't want Alex to let go of him.
"I…" Tony began, but stopped again after hearing how shaky his voice was. Seeming to sense his discomfort, Alex maneuvered Tony back to the bed, getting them both settled so Tony was sitting between his legs, leaning backwards against him, and completely wrapped up in his arms. The warmth of the other man's chest and arms felt safeâ€"safe enough for Tony to finally relax enough to speak.
"It's nothing, really. I'd be standing there in the middle of a crossroad, it'd be dark and cold, and I'd be absolutely terrified of… I don't even know what I was terrified of," Tony stared down at his own hands, still trembling slightly until Alex wrapped them in his own. "I wanted to run but I couldn’t move, and the darkness would start to press in, until I couldn't breath. I would try to scream, but there would be no sound. I usually wake up on my own then but some timesâ€"" Tony gulped down the lump in his throat. "Sometimes, it got so bad, I'd end up crying and breaking out in cold sweat until my brain decided to wake up. I hate this. I hate being so… so damn needy."
"Next time you're there," Alex started, swallowing hard, his heartbeat picking up. He knew what he had to say would be a game changer. "Next time you're there, you call out for me. If you don't have the breath, you reach out for me, with these hands. And I…" Alex broke off, his voice with tremor now. "I'll be there for you."
It was stupid, making this kind of stand so soon, but he couldn't stop it, couldn't help it. He'd looked death in the eyes more than once, and he didn't believe in hiding his emotions from people. It had driven so many lovers away before and it still could, right now, but he wasn't going to stop. "You're not alone, Tony. Not now. Not…"
No, he couldn't go there, couldn't be that vulnerable. Yet. It was just too damn soon, even if they had been growing steadily closer. They still had a new relationship, and Alex needed to keep on reminding himself of that.
I'll be there for you. Alex's words rang loud in Tony's ears, tugging at the knot in his heart, unraveling the tightness that took residence there since forever. No one had ever promised him that, not even his own parents. Tony shuffled slightly so he could turn his head to look Alex in the eyes. He looked, searching for any signs of deceit or pity but found none.
Tony wanted to trust him, wanted to believe that Alex meant what he said, but he'd been hurt far too many times and it took all his strength just to not pull away. He couldn't risk letting anyone in.
How did they get to this point in the first place, Tony had to wonder. How did Alex find a way in so deeply without raising his alarms?
And then he saw something else in Alex's eyes, flashing by all too quickly. Tony extracted a hand from Alex's and ran it down the side of Alex's face.
"Show me," Tony whispered, "I don't want to be alone."
When Tony locked eyes on his, Alex began shaking. Tony searched his eyes and Alex wondered if Tony could see the emotion, the moisture there, and the fact that he was starting to feel deeply about the other man. Tony was clearly feeling a lot as well, and Alex relaxed his hold. He wouldn't force Tony to stay here. This was too important to screw up.
When Tony stroked his face, a gesture tender and yet not girly at all, Alex felt his emotion soar. It couldn'tâ€"wouldn'tâ€"be this easy, but he wanted this.
"Not alone," Alex told Tony again, his voice fully shaking. Taking this step took a hell of a lot of courage and he was shit scared exposing this part of him to anyone. He leaned in, kissing Tony gently, releasing him only to hold him now as a lover, embrace gentle.
"You okay now?" They were anything but, yet Alex needed to ask anyway.
Tony gave a shallow nod, his eyes stayed locked with Alex's. Tony had always been well aware that Gibbs men spoke with their eyes, but he'd never had them focused completely on him like this before. He looked into the blue of Alex's, and he felt like he could drown in them; he was completely entranced.
"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" Tony asked, his voice barely audible. They're so close he could feel Alex's breath began to shake. "Show me," he urged. Show me…
"No," Alex said, very seriously, very quietly, to Tony, telling him it was special. "Show you. But shower first." He was determined to do this the right way, not with the residues of Tony's nightmare clinging to his flesh.
He found his way to the bathroom, tugging Tony along by the hand gently, and adjusted the water in the shower. He turned Tony around, motioning him to look in the mirror. "You're not alone. See? See me with you?" He hooked his chin on Tony's shoulder, taking the other man's hand and entwining theirs over Tony's chest. "You are not alone. I am here with you. I will shower with you. I will show you how much I want you. I will go to bed with you, and I will be here when you wake up. I will stay.”
Alex could identify something in Tony, something akin to loneliness and vulnerability that called to him.
"You're mine if you want me," he finished in a whisper.
Wrapped up in Alex's warm embrace, Tony's eyes grew wide hearing the words coming from Alex. He never thought he'd actually find what he'd been looking for all these years when he flirted with him earlier in the week and then at the bar. He never thought someoneâ€"anyoneâ€"would want him like Alex wanted him, warts and all.
"Promise?" Tony asked hesitantly, the edge of his vulnerability wide open for anyone to see.
"Yeah, promise," Alex replied, watching their reflections. "That what you want, Tony? I think we want the same things. Think we’ve been looking a hell of a long time for this."
They'd both been searching for this, he suspected, for a long time. A place to belong. Someone to belong to.
"I'm intense. I'm not always fun. I'm more…" What was he doing? Why was he sabotaging this? Alex forced himself to stop his negative thoughts, biting down hard on his lip.
"If you want me, I'm here."
"Yours," Tony whispered, leaning his head back against Alex's shoulder, baring his neck in the process. His eyes fluttered close. He had been searching for this, had wanted this for so long, now that he had it within his grasp he didn't know what to do with it. He began to shake.
He was baring it all for Alex to see now. All of his confidence and insecurities, his strengths and vulnerabilities, his hopes and fears, his joy and sorrow. All of it, and holding nothing back.
"Show me," Tony pleaded. "Show me."
Alex placed his lips against Tony's throat, holding Tony close and kissing his neck gently. They were both trembling, and Alex wanted to get him back to bed. Get them back to bed. He tugged Tony into the shower, letting the water and soap wash away both their vulnerabilities. He scrubbed them off quickly, rinsing Tony's hair gently, and turned the water off before toweling them both off efficiently.
"Going to take you to bed," he said, not hiding the way his voice was affected by his emotion. "This is the beginning, Tony. You and me. If you want."
His insecurity kept rising up, and he was having a hard time pushing it away and slapping it down.
Brushing that off and batting it back, Alex leaned in close, mouth roaming over Tony's damp throat. "How do you need to be shown?"
Feeling his emotions rising at Alex's tender words, Tony turned around to face him. He grabbed at Alex's hands, entwining their fingers once again, and leaned in to rub their stubbled cheeks together.
"You and me, together," Tony whispered in Alex's ear. "Make love to me."
Alex nodded. That he could do. Face to face, gently, tenderly. "Come to bed, babe," he whispered, leading Tony back to the bedroom. He eased Tony back on the bed and stretched out on top of him, weight just off Tony. Alex leaned in, kissing Tony's mouth gently, fingertips gliding over shoulder blades, then flanks and outer thighs.
Tony hungrily returned Alex's kisses, but the other man would have none of it. Alex kept the kisses light and gentle, slowly calming Tony back down. The fingers trailing over his body brought about waves of shivers and Tony slowly came undone.
"Prep me. Guide me home," Alex said, hands finding the bottle of lube they had used earlier that night and handing it to Tony.
Instinctively grabbing the lube that was shoved into his hands, Tony squeezed a generous amount onto his palm, wrapping his wet fingers around Alex's hardening cock, and began to stroke slowly. His other hand wandered over his body before traveling south to his own swelling hardness. Tony wanted to touch himself but Alex stopped him.
"Let me," Alex told him. "This is all about me taking care of you. Showing you." He gently pushed Tony's hand away, encircling the other man's erection and bringing them together and stroking them both in his hands, shaft to shaft and balls to balls.
It was something Tony had never experienced beforeâ€"this tender, almost achingly sweet tempo between lovers in a dance of desires, and the sheer carefulness of the other man made him want to weep. To be the center of someone's world, the focus of that someone’s beingâ€"all he could do was stare into Alex's eyes and let the emotions wash over him. Just surrender it all.
When they both started to pant, Alex pulled back and gently entered Tony, easing past the ring of muscle with a happy sigh. Barely inside, he leaned in, cupping Tony's face with his clean hand and stroking his jaw, his cheekbones. Tony felt something coming loose inside. He cupped his own hands on Alex's.
"There we go, babe. Joined," Alex knew there was a sense of wonder in his voice.
"Joined," Tony echoed.
Alex kissed Tony tenderly. It had never been like this, not for a long time, and never with a guy. He nipped Tony's mouth, then his chin, staring into the other man's eyes. He slowly pushed in deeper, until he'd bottomed out. "Tell me if this is good for you. You have to show me what you want, Tony."
Alex took his first cue from the way Tony arched up toward him, his hard cock between them. "Want this to be good for us both."
“’S good. So good," Tony said, arching towards Alex, and moaned loudly when the action brought them closer together. He reached out for Alex's nape, bringing his head down for a deep kiss as he hooked one leg over Alex's waist. "I want to feel you. I want you to mark me yours," Tony said with a growl. "Touch me. Take me!"
"Am," Alex insisted as he began to rock inside Tony, driving himself deep and brushing the other man's prostate on every thrust. He kissed Tony deeply, then nuzzled his throat, biting down, marking, scoring Tony's flesh with his mouth. He wanted the world to know that this man was his.
"Hmm!" Tony was humming and moaning to Alex's every move, becoming lost in the sensation of Alex taking over his world, ramming into him now at a frantic pace. He gasped as Alex began to nuzzle and bite his throat, reveling in the knowledge that he belonged to him now.
Alex grasped one of Tony's hands and brought it to the other man's cock. "Do it, Tony. Come for us."
At some point, they'd become a unit and something in Alex was screaming in happiness about that.
Tony gripped his own hardness when he was guided there, his hand wrapped in Alex's, and began to stroke himself at a pace set by the other man.
"Close, so close," Tony keened. "Alex…fuck! Oh God…"
And then he was coming, and coming, his release gushing between their joined hands. His mind went blank and all he could feel was the man, surrounding him completely.
As Tony clamped down on him, Alex groaned low, his climax right there, right within grasp. "Now…" he warned, trailing off in a harsh gasp. As Tony's wet heat poured between them, Alex exploded inside Tony, sparks shooting through his body.
He must have collapsed on the other man, Alex realized as he came to his senses with his nose buried in Tony's damp hair. He was still lodged inside Tony, their bodies shaking, sweat cooling on them.
"Want to roll over?" Alex asked. He was boneless now, though he knew he had to withdraw.
"Hmm?" Tony's awareness slowly came back to him and he had to blink a few times to focus on what Alex was saying. "What? Oh."
Finally comprehending what the other man was asking, Tony nodded slowly. His entire body was humming with pleasure and he really didn't want to move, but Alex was a big man, and he was getting heavy. Tony began to shift and wiggle despite having no desire or strength to do so, until he was on his side, with Alex behind him, wrapping him up in arms and legs. Rubbing his cheek against Alex's strong arm, Tony cracked a smile at how well they kind of just fit together.
"Get some sleep, Tony," Alex whispered, mouth resting against the soft skin at the back of Tony's neck, just below his hairline. This felt so damn right in a way Alex didn't dare explore right now. Tony rubbed his face against Alex's arm, and Alex burrowed down, snagging some of the rumpled bedding and covering them both.
"Thank you," he added quietly. He'd never thanked anyone for sex before, but this was special.
“Mmhmm,” Tony moaned sleepily, drifting off to sleep, peacefully this time.
---
Something tickled at Tony's ear, he wasn't sure what. He woke from a nice deep sleep and for the first time in a long time he felt content. His body was heavy and tired, but sated. Taking in a deep breath he tried to flex his arms to scratch the itch at his ear but found himself trapped within a pair of arms. His eyes fluttered open and everything from the night before came flurrying back.
Tony groaned. Oh God. He… and Alex…
He tried to pull away, but the arms around him tightened, refusing to let go.
Alex had never needed a lot of sleep, and was lying there watching Tony when he awoke. He'd expected that the other man was going to pull away, and tightened his arms around Tony. "Morning," he said, his voice raspy, lips running over the dark bruise he'd left on Tony’s throat.
“Don't start crap, DiNozzo. It happened, I'm happy about it and we're fine."
"I like it better when you call me Tony, you know," Tony whined, turning in Alex's arms to face the other man only to bury his head into Alex's shoulder. The spot on his neck Alex had been nipping was tingling. "And I knowâ€"I'm happy too. Actually, I'm elated. I do want this, but we… I… there are rules, and Gibbs… We can't just…"
Damn Gibbs and his rules. Tony understood where the man was coming fromâ€"
they'd both been there before. Mixing work with personal life was a disaster waiting to happen.
Tony growled in frustration. This had been his most promising relationship by far, however short it’d been. He didn't want to give it up, not when he'd finally found someone who was his equal and could love him in the way he needed to be loved.
And there it was. The L-word. How the hell did it get so fucking complicated?
Alex could feel the tension running through Tony. "Rules," Alex said quietly. "He has that damn code, but that isn't my life. I'm a team leader on another team and you're not in my chain of command." Alex brushed Tony's hair back, watching him. "You won't disappoint him. I will talk to him. It won't impact our work."
He paused, letting the words filter through his mind before grabbing the ones he needed. "This is your life, and mine, not Jethro's."
"Alex! Are you sure? I wouldn't want to come between you and Gibbs…you guys are family…" Tony raised his head to look at Alex, eyes wide. "I want this. I really do. You have no idea how long I've been searching for something this…right," Tony swallowed, gulping down his anxiety and uncertainty before continuing. "I know this is our lives, and not his, but I also know how important family is to Gibbs. You should've seen him after that case in Stillwaterâ€""
"Damn right I'm sure." It won't been the first time Alex had stood toe to toe with his brother and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last, if it even came to that. "I'm my own man, Tony. We're family, but this isn't a family issue. It's professional."
When Tony talked about the case in Stillwater, Alex watched him. He clearly saw a different side to Jeth than the team did, or at least different than Tony did. "He and Dad hadn’t talked for years. Family is complicated for him. Especially our father…"
Jack was the only other family the Gibbs boys had for many years. And Jeth and Dad had been estranged for a long, long time during those years. Alex had tried to broker peace between them more times than he could remember, but Jeth had stayed stubborn and Dad had never pushed, feeling Jeth needed to come to him rather than him going to his older son. It had been a long, frustrating, maddening time, and he was so damn glad that they’d reunited.
Alex yanked his thoughts away from family and concentrated on his lover’s words absorbing what Tony said, that this was right for him too. That he might be feeling exactly the same things. A shaft of hope lodged in his chest and he regarded Tony, watching him.
Tony began to pull away again with a pained chuckle, his chin dipped down to his chest so Alex wouldn't see the look on his face. "Heh. Just my luck, falling for my boss' brother," Tony said in a hushed tone that he thought Alex wouldn't pick up.
Alex had heard Tony's last words, barely. He couldn't respond yet, but the emotion caught him right in the chest and he brushed a gentle kiss over Tony's temple.
Tony sighed at Alex's gentle kiss, returning it but then pulled away completely, off the bed and headed towards the bathroom. He didn't want to argue with Alex about something that was essentially a moot pointâ€"the relationship he had with Gibbs, as complicated as it was, just wasn't something he could easily explain to Alex and have him understand. And if this was going to be the first and last time they… Well, Tony was determined to milk it for all it was worth.
He looked back over his shoulder at Alex, still lying in bed like he belonged there. "You gonna lie there all day or are you gonna come join me in the shower?" Tony winked and asked playfully, but it didn't do anything to mask the sad look in his eyes.
Alex could feel that the mood had changed, but he didn't know how to reach Tony. He didn't know Tony all that well yet, and it seemed that Jeth and Tony had a complicated relationship.
Instead of asking Tony if he was sure, or making a sarcastic comment, Alex just nodded and followed the other man, wondering how the hell to get back that ease. A small part of him hated his brother for inserting himself in whatever this was. But Jeth would always be between them. Tony responded to Alex through a filterâ€"everyone did. They all expected him to be Jeth, and were both relieved and felt he didn’t measure up when he didn’t. This was something Alex had dealt with all his life.
Tony got the hot water going in the shower and grabbed a couple of towels while waiting for the water to warm.
"So, what've you got planned for today?" Tony asked carefully, trying his best to be casual instead of sounding like he was hoping Alex would be free to spend the whole day together doing whatever. He hissed when his movement pulled on the muscles of his ass, still sore from the night before. "If you're not in a big hurry to go somewhere, we, uh, we could grab breakfast?"
He was about to step into the shower when a pair of hands wrapped themselves around his hips, massaging his sore back and ass. Tony tensed up in surprise but then instinctively relaxed and began to arch back, knowing it was Alex.
"Shower first, then breakfast… and then…" Alex shrugged, looking down at Tony's body as his hands worked. He wanted to relax the other man and he knew that a backrub was the best start he could offer. "Maybe we could rent some motorcycles. Take a ride?" Alex deliberately kept his tone casual, though he really wanted to spend some more time with Tony. He began to rethink his plan. Motorcycles wouldn't allow for much talking time, even though he was itching to get out on the open road.
Tony moaned as Alex's expert hands began to work the rest of his back. God, the man had talented hands. Tony ducked his head, baring his nape, and closed his eyes so he could enjoy the backrub Alex decided that he needed. Maybe he did. His heart gave a jump and began to speed up when Alex agreed on the breakfast and began to suggest doing something together.
So many things were running through his mind at a mile a minute. Does this mean he's still interested? He actually wants to spend time with me? Tony's stomach began to do the butterflies and he had to mentally head slap himself for behaving like a teenage girl who'd just been asked out on a date. Dammit, Tony! Get a hold of yourself!
"Or we could rent a sailboat and cruise along the Potomac,” Alex suggested finally.
"Sailing?" he perked up when Alex mentioned sailing. Tony put his hands on Alex's, who was now running them up and down Tony's side, and dragged him into the spray of warm water. Tony turned in Alex's arms as the water rained down on them, his eyes gleaming with interest. "You know how? I've never been! Okay, I've been on a boat before, but I was like seven, and Dad was really meeting a business partnerâ€"" Tony's babbling was stopped mid-sentence when Alex decided to shut him up with his lips.
There was something about Tony that was endearing and cute without being annoying as he spoke, making his interest clear. Alex barely had time to slick back his hair as Tony started talking with enthusiasm. Message delivered, Alex sealed his mouth on to Tony's, kissing gentle, opening that mouth up against his.
Tony's eyes fluttered close at the gentle exploration of Alex's mouth on his. The desire was still there in the kisses but there was no real heat. Tony found himself really enjoying this special kind of closeness without it being a prelude to frenzied sex. Not that he didn't like the frenzied sex, but he never really experienced something like this with another person. Tony sighed at the loss when Alex ended the kiss.
"Sailing," Alex finally said over the roar of the water. "Loan me some jeans and stuff, take me to your favorite breakfast place, then we sail."
When Tony asked if Alex knew how to sail, he hesitated for a moment, remembering how guarded Jeth was. But he knew he and Tony wouldn't work if he kept up all his brother's secrets. "Sister-in-law's father taught me when I was a teenager. He owned a couple."
The knowledge that it was Shannon's father who taught Alex how to sail was a bit of a shock to the system for Tony. Gibbs had never been big on talking about his past, especially when it came to Shannon. Tony felt like he was intruding on something sacred, something not to be disturbed.
"You know, you don't have to tell me everything if you don't feel comfortable telling me," Tony said quietly as they worked the shampoo into lather in each other's hair, unconsciously leaning into the touches from Alex's fingers. He kept his eyes half closed, looking like he was preventing the bubbles from getting into his eyes, but he knew he was really just avoiding looking at Alex in the eyes. The man could read him like an open book, and he didn't want Alex to think him weak or needy because of his deep-seated insecurity about himself.
Alex knew that damned well, but he wasn't going to live his life the way his brother had. What had that gotten Jeth since Shannon and Kelly's deaths? Three ex-wives and an unhealthy appetite for redheads. He wasn't going down that road; he wasn't going to hide an important and vital part of his life. Shannon had been a sister to him, and Kelly had been the most amazing little girl.
"I'm not him, Tony," Alex said after they rinsed their hair. "I don't wall off complete parts of history because it hurts too damn much." Make no mistake about it; it hurt like hell, missing them. And what Jeth was doing was no way to honor their memories. Alex wasn’t going to hide. That was no way to respect Tony.
"I'm not him, Tony. I don't cope like that. Always thought it was a stupid and miserable way to be alone, anyway."
Alex rubbed a hand over Tony's stubble, tilting his head up and looking him in the eyes. "I respect what you're doing, but I'm okay."
Tony nodded. He didn't know how he knew; he just knew Alex meant everything he had said. He grabbed the shower gel and squeezed a good size glob onto his hand, lathering it up, and began to stroke Alex from the neck, shoulders, down to his chest, touching each inch of skin, massaging lightly like he was blind man learning the shape of things. He tilted his head and began to nibble at the corner of Alex's mouth and his stubbled chin, feeling the other man kissing him back.
"Mmm…" It was a pure sound of relaxation and pleasure. Alex was enjoying the hell out of being washed. "Hard to imagine that a few days ago, I was in the desert, with sand everywhere. Much better. Much, much better this way."
He nuzzled Tony's throat. "Gonna shave us both?"
"Only if you do my back," Tony chuckled and began to drop light kisses onto Alex's toned and tanned skin after the water had rinsed away the bubbles. "Hmm… now you smell like me," Tony mumbled and smiled against Alex's shoulder, his fingers carding through the hair on Alex's chest. "I like it."
“We smell like each other," Alex affirmed, running the suds over Tony's back and cupping his ass. "Yeah, we both smell pretty damn good. Like this stuff." He breathed in deeply, nipping Tony's shoulder.
"I said do my back, not my ass," Tony laughed and swatted at Alex's naughty hands. He tugged at the man so their heads were out of the water's range.
"Chin up," Tony grabbed the shaving cream he kept in the shower, and squeezed out a generous lump to smother all over Alex's face. He carefully ran the razor, starting on the cheeks, down the jaw, moving lower to above the lips and the chin. Tony tipped Alex's head further back, giving him a kiss on the lips before running the razor up the underside of his jaw. Running his hands and lips down the now clean-shaven skin, Tony gave Alex's jaw a long lick before stepping back with a grin. "Smooth as a baby's bottom."
"Nice," Alex said softly. Shaving was a strangely intimate thing, and he enjoyed the feel of Tony's hand manipulating his head, the confidence in which Tony shaved him.
Alex ran a hand over his jaw slowly. "Feels good. You're good at what you do." He nodded to Tony. "Want me to or you want to do it yourself?"
"Don't you think I look sexier with the gruff?" Tony stepped up once again, plastering himself against Alex and rubbing his face against Alex's, and nibbled at the jaw as he asked. He let out a nasally chuckle, and handed the razor to Alex. "Here, you do the honors."
"I think you feel better smooth," Alex shot back. He took Tony's jaw in his hands, working from neck, up over jaw and finally cheeks, chin and mouth area. He lost himself in the sweep of blades over skin, his concentration growing as he moved. When he was done, he rinsed Tony's face off, nodding and smiling. "Looks pretty damn good. Great jaw there, DiNozzo."
Tony took the razor from Alex, putting it back on the caddy, and hauled the man close by the neck. "Thank you," was all he said before he brought their lips together into a slow, nibbling kiss, their tongues dancing between them.
"Come on, we better get going," Tony chuckled, his lips resting softly on Alex's, their foreheads touching. "Water's starting to get cold, my fingers are beginning to prune, and we're burning daylight."
"Loaning me some clothes then?" Alex asked, stepping out of the shower. He took one of the towels off the rack, dragging it over himself and drying off the worst before handing the other one to Tony. "Unless you want to go by my hotel."
One of the things on the list this weekend had been looking for a place, but he could do just fine at the hotel for now. Getting to know Tony meant much more.
Tony leered at Alex's nude form from head to toe with a smirk. "Check the right side of the closet, all of my more casual stuff is in there. Underwear is in the top drawer. We look about the same size so they should fit fine," Tony said as he dried himself off, combing through his hair in an attempt to tame down the wet spikes.
"I’m much bigger," Alex teased, nipping the back of Tony's neck. He finished getting ready in front of the mirror and then wandered, fully nude, into the bedroom. He filtered through the clothes, pulling out a pair of blue bikinis, and slipping them on. His jeans were fresh enough to be used, even if they were a little wrinkled, and he found a button-down shirt he thought would suit him. His shoes were fine and would be great on a boat. Done, he ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it down.
Since he was done first, he booted up his phone and searched for a place to rent a sailboat. While he could ask Jeth, he wanted to keep this between him and Tony.
"Get your mind out of the gutter," Tony rolled his eyes as he continued to tame his hair into some resemblance of order. He watched out of the corner of his eyes as Alex picked out the bikini and he couldn't help running his tongue over his lips as Alex put the garment on, slightly erect dick barely fitting inside.
He's doing it on purpose, Tony was sure of it. Tony bit back a groan as he felt himself harden, feeling slightly embarrassed at his horniness. Because, really, if it wasn't for their planned “date”â€"at least in Tony's mind it wasâ€"Tony'd go down on that fine specimen right now like he would a popsicle stick on a hot summer day.
As if to challenge Alex, Tony strolled out of the bathroom in his glorious nakedness and sauntered past Alex, brushing his ass “accidentally” over the other man's hip, to get to the closet for his own clothes. Picking out a pair of cargo pants, a t-shirt and a light grey windbreaker, Tony quickly dressed as Alex played with his phone. Commando trumps blue bikini any day, Tony smirked.
Alex watched, his eyes hooded as Tony got dressed, and only after he was completely dressed did Alex sneak up behind him, grinding against his ass. "Commando just makes it easier to skin your pants down and fuck you, wet or dry," he said, his voice low and raspy, needy.
Tony gasped at Alex's sudden advanceâ€"could the ninja thing be genetic?â€"and let out an uncontrollable moan at Alex's words. "I wish I could hate you," Tony whined, turning around and kissing Alex hard on the lips, his breath uneven. "’Cause that was just evil, you know that?"
"Yep," Alex added, unable to stop smiling. And yours, he added silently. If Tony wanted him, that was.
"Ever made out on a boat?"
Tony knew he had that ridiculous, excited, eyes-wide look on his face like he'd just won the lottery, because he couldn't stop grinning.
"No, but I would love to get some demonstrations," Tony began to walk backward towards the bedroom door, dragging Alex with him. "C'mon, Lover boy. Show me what you've got."
"You're gonna get a full-on demo, boy," Alex kept the teasing light. Just because Tony had wanted to have him top once didn't mean that there was anything but the sexual need to have a cock inside him just that once. Alex wasn't sure how things would shake out, but he wanted to start testing Tony, to figure out their roles.
"Tell me what you want, boy," he whispered as they left the room.
Tony sucked in a breath at Alex's words. He knew full well what Alex was asking, and though he could pull out his mask and let the clown do all the teasing and bantering, he didn't want to. He'd been waiting and looking for too long, and he wasn't about to let the one chance at happiness slip by just because he was afraid of getting hurt and having his heart torn to shreds. Tony stopped at the threshold to his room, looking down at their joined hands, and slipped his fingers in between Alex's before he looked back at the other man.
"I… want you," Tony's voice was shaking, ever so slightly, and he hoped the other man didn't notice. "I want there… to be… an us."
And when Alex didn't respond immediately, Tony instinctively looked down again, trying not to fidget, not wanting Alex to see how scared and unsure he was.
Alex could feel the unease rolling off Tony and took a second to figure out his response. He wanted to be honest and not to disappoint the other man. His fingers curled around Tony's and he dropped his head, staring at their hands.
"I'm glad," he started, his own voice a bit shaky. "If you want that, it’s yours," Alex finally finished. He was working on raw instinct now, his free hand cupping Tony's cheek.
They had a hell of a lot more to figure out, and Alex wasn’t going to delude himself that it would be easy. Two guys like them? It was a fucking miracle they ended up where they were, but at least they'd had the courage to take that next step. Together.
"Look at me," he said, keeping his voice and tone gentle.
Tony looked up when Alex's warm hand palmed his cheek, unsure what exactly the other man wanted. He was startled by the heated look in Alex's eyes. "Alex?"
"Want you," Alex said, fighting every instinct to look away or duck his head or protect himself.
Want you. Plain and simple. There was no dressing up of words, no romantic gesture, just the plain, simple truth, and yet Tony felt his heart thumping hard and fast, the words ringing loud in his ears.
"Want us?" he could feel a smile rising up, a smile that was lighting up his entire face.
"Hell, I do," Alex said. It felt awkward, but also right at the same time. "Want us," he said, a teasing growl in his voice. "Want this," he lifted their linked hands. "Us."
The curl playing at Tony's lips blossomed in to a full-on smile at Alex's words. He moved, leaning in towards Alex for a tender kiss, their still-linked hands by their side. He could feel the tension and unease flow right out of him, and he felt light, airy, like he could take flight with a simple flap of his arms. With their mouth barely touching, Tony whispered, still smiling, "then I'm yours."
Alex couldn't have explained how it happened, but it felt right. Even better, it felt perfect in this moment. He kissed Tony gently, trying to shut up the voices screaming at him that it was too soon. It was right and Alex knew it.
"Glad we agree," Alex said against Tony's mouth before pulling back and staring into the other man's eyes. They still had a lot to figure out, but Alex was sure they could do that together.
Tony stood there, green eyes locked with Alex's brilliant blues, and he wished they could stay right there forever. The moment was so right, so perfect.
That was, until his stomach began to complain loudly at being neglected. Tony groaned. Of all the things…
"Breakfast?" he asked sheepishly, his face beet red.
"Breakfast," Alex affirmed, squeezing Tony's crotch gently. "But know that you going commando is gonna do things to me all day. And I will take advantage."
"Ooh," Tony gasped at the pressure from Alex's hand, and wiggled his eyebrows when he heard Alex's words. "I'll be holding you to that promise, Commander."
Tony half dragged Alex out of the bedroom, and towards the door. "Come on, there's this greasy spoon close by. Best breakfast around here," Tony said as he looked around for a pair of suitable shoes.
Alex growled happily when Tony referred to him by military rank and stood at the door, eyebrow arched, waiting for Tony. "Get some shoes on, boy," he replied, knowing his voice was full of warmth and affection.
"Alright! Geez, talk about impatience! You Gibbs men are all the same, you know that?" Tony rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he found and put on a pair of boat shoes, and grabbed his keys before planting a big wet one on Alex's lips. "Let's go."
---
TBC
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