"I've regretted the deaths of all my fallen colleagues over the years. But the one I regret the most might surprise you"
It had taken Dr Rachel Cranston a very long time to persuade Leroy Jethro Gibbs to sit with her in a professional, rather than a personal capacity,so listening to this outpouring of emotions from him was proving to be utterly fascinating, as well as the only time it was ever likely to happen.
"Really? you think so? Try me." she said.
Gibbs looked closely at her, wondering if she was good enough a "shrink" not to be surprised.
"The one I put in the ground myself." he replied.
A slight frown creased Rachel's brow. "Seriously? The young woman who betrayed her country and murdered two men, including a friend of yours?"
"Yeah. Michelle Lee."
Gibbs mind flashed back to a time long ago, when Special Agent Michelle Lee was still a living, breathing Probie/Lawyer. Yet to be turned to the dark side.
She'd been practicing on the firing range, proving to be about as competent with a gun as she had been with a knife.
As with her knife throwing act, which had nearly cost him his life, Gibbs was just as equally unimpressed with her shooting skills.
"You can actually see the target, right?" he'd asked her, barely concealing his sarcasm.
"Yes, Sir." Lee replied, after missing with five straight shots.
"Well then maybe you ought to try hitting it."
Again with the sarcasm. It was hardly making Michelle feel any easier.
"Sir, I am trying." she said, growing all the more flustered.
"You're "trying" all right. My patience." whispered Gibbs under his breath. If Michelle had heard he didn't really care. Ziva David, who was there also, certainly did and shook her head.
"I am usually better than this." Michelle explained.
The truth was, having Gibbs there was making her nervous.
Gibbs beckoned to Michelle to come closer.
"Someday ,in the field, your life and maybe the lives of others are going to depend on how straight you can shoot and you being better with a gun than you are now. Someday you might have to kill someone."
"I hope not."
"But if ever you do, I don't want it to be the wrong guy. So it might be an idea to actually hit what you're aiming at."
Gibbs jabbed a thumb towards the targets at the far end of the range. "Try again. Once more."
Ziva at least was sympathetic and helpful. "Michelle, remember, hold your breath and gently squeeze the trigger."
Michelle nodded, took up her stance and took aim at the target. She was so focused she never even registered the photo of Bin Laden's head pasted on it. DiNozzo's handiwork,obviously.
"OK, Breathe and squeeze. Right,this time, I'll nail it."
Michelle loosed off five more shots. Two just clipped the target. The other three embedded themselves in the wall behind.
Michelle lowered her weapon, and her head, in shame.
Gibbs had had enough. he turned to Ziva. "This is what happens when you give a Lawyer a gun."
He strode off, leaving his words stinging in Michelle's ears. It would have hurt less if he'd just "Gibbs slapped" her hard.
"What do I have to do to make that guy want me around?" asked Michelle, miserably.
"Don't worry Michelle. It's not like he's going to kill you just for being a Lawyer or a bad shot now is he." Ziva replied.
"I wouldn't put it past him."
Back in the now and, perhaps, Rachel like most people, would have expected to have heard Mike Franks, Jenny Shepherd or Kate's name spoken, leaving her to only assume they were all a given. If she was affronted, she showed no outward signs of it.
"You're right. I am surprised."
"Why?" asked Gibbs.
"Because of what she did."
"Exactly." Gibbs answered. "OK, she went about it all wrong but, what she did she felt she had to do, for family. The "Unspoken" rule. That made a difference, to me anyway."
Of course Rachel knew a little of what had happened. The abduction of Lee's sister by the man, Bankston. His blackmailing her into becoming a "Mole, and her ultimate sacrifice.
"She never asked that damn Bankston to kidnap her sister. Just for the chance to be remembered for something better than what he made her."
Stimulated by this session with Rachel, the memory centres of Gibbs' mind were, once more, working it like some kind of time machine. Choosing to return him to one, long ago, conversation with Jenny in the squadroom concerning Lee.
"I understand you and Agent Lee have some issues."
Jenny had been instrumental in recruiting Lee into the Agency and had stood up for her before in the past, usually in the face of Gibb's, barely hidden, scorn.
"So what has that Legal person been saying about me behind my back?"
"She hasn't said anything." replied Jenny. "But what you just said there speaks volumes. It's that whole Lawyer thing again isn't it?"
"She belongs in some City Attorney's Office, not an agency like this."
"She's a trained field agent with real potential you obviously can't see. Just cut her some slack once in a while why don't you. If not for her sake then for mine. Smooth the waters."
Gibbs thought on what Jenny had said. "OK. Next time she's down here where we get all of the work done, I promise to smile at her."
Jenny just shook her head. "You're incorrigible."
"Yeah, I know." Gibbs replied, nonchalantly.
Gibbs returned to the present.
"So, how did you feel about killing her?" Rachel asked.
Gibbs took a long time to answer. "Feel? Like crap. Still do. The girl practically volunteered for the firing squad. Because it was the right thing to do and I'll always respect her for that..."
Sadly, he recalled, with vivid clarity, her dead eyes looking up at him from the floor of that damned bus, and wished, as he had done so before, that he'd had the presence of mind to have closed them.
"....if for nothing else."
Story Notes:
Yes, this story goes over old ground, so please forgive me for that. But, hopefully there is enough new material to still make it seem interesting.
Chapter End Notes:
Yes, this story goes over old ground, so please forgive me for that. But, hopefully there is enough new material to still make it seem interesting.