Chapter 7
AN: A lot of you asked, Why? Why not tell Gibbs, at least? Why is Tony being a doctor such a big secret? I hope to give you a better understanding of my reasoning in this chapter. ENJOY!
Tony took off his stethoscope and collapsed into onto one of the long couches in the doctor's lounge. Thankfully he was alone. He took advantage of the precious few moments, he would most likely have. That is, before another doctor came in, or he was called out to check on or consult with one of the doctors about one of his team members.
Tony leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. Seeing his team members injured had taken its toll on him. And while he had been able to help them in the field, he had started to feel helpless out there. He could only administer so much first aid, and had only limited resources. But they were all okay. They were all going to be fine. He let out a long sigh and sank deeper into the comfort of the couch.
Tony lost track of the time he had been sitting on the couch. He thought back to the day he was accepted into medical school. His grades in his pre-med courses had been soo good. He had had his choice of medical schools. He easily got in, and he even surprised himself, graduating early.
He still remembered passing his first big test in medical school. He had gotten a B. The test had been a huge anatomy final. It had confirmed to him that he was where he needed to be. A week after his very first clinical, he was amazing his professors with how fast he picked up the material. By the time he got to his residenc,y he was the head in his group. All the other students in the group came to him and asked questions. It just confirmed to him, again, that he had made the right choice. He sailed through his residency, graduating in the top 12% of his class. He had job offers waiting for him and he, again, got his pick.
Tony had worked during his school years, mostly out of necessity. Someone had to pay his rent and tuition. But he had worked, too, because he enjoyed his other job. He loved being a cop. The academy training had, thankfully, been brief and he had excelled there also. He had been number 2 in that class. He was an investigator, and a damned good one. He loved the art of investigation, and while that might be an obvious part of his job as an agent and former cop. People often did not see doctors as being investigators. Tony, however, equated the two easily. A cop and a CSI needed clues, such as blood, fibers, etc, to solve crimes. Doctors needed clues also. Those clues came in the form of signs, symptoms, and lab work. The doctor then needed to read the clues correctly to come up with the correct diagnosis to be able to treat the patient. In Tony's mind there was little difference.
"Dr. DiNozzo…" Nurse Kelly said, as she poked her head in the door. "…your friends are awake."
Tony nodded but didn't immediately open his eyes. He sighed again before he slowly stood up. He was not sure he was ready for this. He was not ashamed of being a doctor. He was a damned good one. He knew that. He enjoyed the ups and down of the profession. He loved the action of the ER. He had a great relationship with the nursing staff and the other doctors.
Tony was very unsure how his team members, the people whom he had come to think of as his extended family, would take the news. He hoped they would be accepting, like Ducky and Jimmy, and like Abby…. Tony stopped for a second and realized. Abby didn't know. Abby was likely to be pissed, at first, but she would be okay. She would think it was awesome he was a doctor. But she would be very, very upset that he had kept something that big from her.
Tony shook his head and looked around. Suddenly the small lounge seemed to be a great place to be. He wanted to stay, for just a moment, to hide from the uncertainty that awaited him outside the door. Tony then shrugged it off. He left the lounge. He knew where his first stop had to be.
Tony lingered outside for just a moment. There were no walls, just glass, and he knew Gibbs could see him outside the door. He then summonsed up his courage and walked in. Tony didn't say anything. He just pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down.
Meanwhile, Gibbs did a double-take. Tony looked very different. He was wearing a white hospital lab coat and blue scrubs. He also had a stethoscope around his neck. Gibbs then saw the name badge. It did, indeed, have a picture of Tony on it, along his name. Gibbs continued to stare.
Tony could not help but smile at his leader's bewildered expression.
"You're a doctor." Gibbs said, grinning. "I'll be damned."
Tony nodded. "Yep."
"So it was NOT my imagination when I saw you standing over me ordering the nurses around."
"Nope." Tony replied. He was really enjoying Gibbs' reaction.
"I'm going to need a little more from you than this, Tony." Gibbs replied. Tony short responses were not at all what Gibbs had expected.
"What do you want to know?" Tony asked.
Gibbs considered for just a moment. "Start at the beginning."
Tony retold his story of the police academy and medical school, and residency all rolled into one. He was finished a few moments later.
"I saw your file, Tony." Gibbs stated. "I READ your file."
Tony nodded. "The application asked for things specific to the job." Tony explained. "Being a doctor was not specific to being a federal agent."
"You just should have told me, Tony."
"Would you have believed me?" Tony countered.
Gibbs just looked at him for a second.
"If I had told you I was a doctor, Anthony DiNozzo, MD. Would you have believed me?" Tony asked again.
Gibbs shook his head. "Probably not." Gibbs admitted. "But not because I don't believe you capable…" Gibbs paused. "…we…you put in a 60 hour week, many weeks. You come in in the wee hours of the morning. You…when do you find the time?"
Tony bowed his head, confession time. "I don't date as often as I have lead some people to believe." Tony stated. "I spend my time here."
When Tony looked up, Gibbs was smiling. "They both think they were having hallucinations, Tony. You need to tell them something."
Tony knew Gibbs was right. He nodded. He then stood to leave.
"Why wouldn't you trust me with this?"
Gibbs' question caused Tony to stop and turn around. He just looked at Gibbs for a moment.
Tony went back to the chair and sat. "It's not a matter of trust, Gibbs. It never has been. Not with us. You know everything about me. You are really, really good at reading me and my moods. I don't like it, but I have to live with it. It…it was just I had something all my own. Something I didn't have to share with anyone. SomeTHING you didn't know about. And I know that sounds a little mean and nasty, maybe. But I had a part of my private life that was actually private from you. You knew everything else, Gibbs. I promise you that. You did. And now you really know everything. But… for a while I had a secret, and it was nice."
Gibbs nodded. He understood. He too had a huge secret Tony and the rest of the team didn't know about. And if it was up to him, he would take it to his grave. Some things are just too painful to reveal.
TBC
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