“JETHRO GIBBS!!!”
Gibbs grimaced and straightened up from where he had been digging a hole to plant yet another rose bush at the insistence of his dearly beloved and at times adorably vexatious husband. That tone of voice from said husband meant only one thing: trouble. Big trouble. Quickly flipping through the pages of his conscience, taking inventory of his actions and inactions of the last few hours to determine what he had done or neglected to do to arouse the ire of the light of his life, Gibbs enquired in dulcet, conciliatory tones, “Yes, sweetness?”, determined to keep up the appearance of blamelessness as Tony appeared in the back door, thrusting something that resembled a piece of underwear accusingly at his husband.
Gibbs blinked as everything suddenly became clear. “Ohhhh, crappity-crap! Your ass is grass, marine!” he muttered to himself.
Tony approached him slowly, menacingly, the cause of his indignation dangling disdainfully between two long, slender fingers, the undergarment looking decidedly unprepossessing and unappealing in the colour that it now sported, a colour that no self-respecting pair of skivvies would ever dream of assuming by its own free will.
“Don’t ‘sweetness’ me, Jethro Gibbs, and wipe that innocent expression off your face. It does not fool me in the least. Do you remember what the original colour of this was, that is before you wantonly and recklessly tossed it into the washing machine together with that infernal red sweatshirt of yours that still bleeds and oozes every time you wash the damn thing? The colour was ‘blush of dawn’. Now, Jethro, by no stretch of the imagination can this be called ‘blush of dawn’. It does not resemble anything remotely related to a blush or even to plain garden variety pale pink. It cannot in all conscience be called any colour that any person with a modicum of taste and self-respect would want to wear on his intimate parts. It is neither rose nor apricot nor peach nor salmon nor cherry blossom. No, hubby dearest, this is simply Jethro-has-fucked-up-the-washing pink!!!”
Tony was standing right before him now, the beautiful, eloquent hazel eyes flashing with righteous indignation.
“Do you know how much this costs? This is La Perla! This is pure silk! And now you’ve completely ruined it! Just look at it! It’s disgusting! I can’t possibly wear this again!” he wailed, thrusting the evidence of his partner’s thoughtlessness and lack of consideration under his nose.
Jethro rolled his eyes, trying his best not to grin at the younger man’s histrionics. “Baby love, I’m sorry but I really didn’t think it would matter all that much if I just chucked everything in as long as it came out clean on the other side! I don’t understand why you have to insist on buying that ridiculously expensive stuff in any case.”
“Ridiculous??!!” Tony squealed, aghast. “I haven’t heard you complain about them when you leer at me and ogle my ass in them when I get dressed or when you rip them off me before ravishing me!”
“Ravish? Well now, that gives me an idea….” Jethro approached his irate darling with a lascivious leer on his face that made no secret of his intentions.
“I’m sorry but I can feel a terrible headache coming on. I’m sure it will last for at least a week!” Tony snarked, slapping away his husband’s groping hands. “If you want any of the good stuff again anytime soon, you are taking me shopping at La Perla’s this very afternoon. You will flash your credit card and you will fit me out in lingerie befitting this ass!” He gave his ass a slap as he glared challengingly at Jethro.
Jethro smirked evilly. “Or we can just visit Sears tomorrow and toss a packet of tighty-whiteys in the shopping basket for you. I saw on the adverts they sent out that they have a special " buy three, get one free. Nice and cheap. Hundred percent cotton.”
Tony’s jaw dropped in horrified outrage. “You … you brute! You savage! Me in Sears underwear! Cotton! I … you….” he sputtered, rendered speechless by the callousness and deplorable lack of taste and aesthetic sensibility of his partner.
Jethro was right up against him in one long stride. He slipped both arms around his husband’s waist, drawing him tightly against his hard body with his superior marine strength, and captured those lush, sweet, soft pink lips in a deep, soul-searing kiss.
“Hmmmmphhhh!” Tony protested weakly against the mouth that was so purposefully and insistently and thoroughly devouring his.
Jethro released his darling’s lips and asked, sweetly, “What did you say, baby angel? I couldn’t hear.”
Before Tony could draw breath to utter a word Jethro took possession of his mouth again, kissing him with all the passion and desire and devotion that he felt for the man who was his partner for life.
“Mmmhhhhffff!” The protest was weaker this time as Tony began to melt into his husband’s embrace and as Jethro’s devilishly skilful ministrations began to wipe out all thoughts of ruined underwear.
Jethro drew back once more, grinning at the slightly dazed man in his arms. “Couldn’t quite catch that, rosebud. Have to speak clearly.”
Again Jethro’s mouth descended mercilessly on his partner’s, claiming him once more for himself alone.
“Hmmmm!” Tony mewled feebly in the back of his throat, his knees beginning to give way under him at the determined onslaught of his husband’s tongue and lips.
“You must really learn to articulate more, sweet pea. Can’t hear a word you’re saying.” Jethro grinned smugly at the glazed eyes of his lover and the kiss-swollen, moist red lips, slightly open in invitation, feeling decidedly satisfied with himself.
“Bastard!” Tony gasped as he caught his breath at last, leaning heavily against the older man, trusting the strong arms to keep him upright.
“Yup, that’s me. Let’s go shopping and then I’m going to ogle and leer and ravish to my heart’s content.”
“La Perla?” Tony cajoled with that irresistible, dazzling smile that lit up his whole face and that could persuade his husband to walk barefoot to the ends of the earth to please him.
“Yeah, where else? Don’t want your undies to give you a weeklong headache now, do we? But I get to choose what I want to see on your ass!” The last sentence was spoken in a threatening growl that was totally belied by the devotion and adoration and pure love that Tony could read in those mesmerising blue eyes as his husband drew him closer for a sweet, lingering kiss full of promise.
Story Notes:
Just a bit of silliness that popped into my head while I was cleaning house.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jethro mucks up the washing and Tony tosses a tantrum.
Chapter End Notes:
Just a bit of silliness that popped into my head while I was cleaning house.