“Are you sleeping with Gibbs?”
Tony’s startled out of his slump against the car door. Despite the sudden attention the question garners he can’t formulate a response.
“I suppose it isn’t any of my business. But the look on your face when that ATF guy cuffed him… It made me wonder.”
That helps him regain his wits, “No, McDelusional, I’m not sleeping with our boss.” If he can’t help mentally adding ‘however much I desperately want to be’ Probie never has to know that. Instead he turns to get in the car, “But I do have a thing about false imprisonment. Wanna help me clear the boss’ name?”
McGee doesn’t answer Tony directly, but his phone conversation with Abby about proving that Gibbs’ prints on the recovered ammunition were the most bullshit kind of circumstantial was answer enough.
It takes the better part of three days to prove Gibbs’ innocence and when they do the prick from the ATF seems to think he’s funny. He raps on the bars and addresses Gibbs before Tony even makes it into the room, “Your boyfriend’s back.”
“He gonna save my reputation?”
“You can mostly thank Abbs for that. I just caught this prick’s suspect for him.”
Gibbs chuckles at the ATF guy’s indignant expression.
~~~~~
“Are you sleeping with Gibbs?”
Even on his second coffee Tony isn’t awake enough register that he’s had this conversation before, “No.”
“You have been arriving together in his car in increasing states of exhaustion all week.”
“And that somehow equals illicit sex?”
“It is the explanation that makes the most sense.”
“We’ve been staking out Varley’s apartment,” He rolls his neck in hopes of easing the strain, “besides, don’t you think we’d both be in a better mood if we were getting it on?”
“He has been.”
Tony thinks about that a moment, really thinks about it. She’s right. Gibbs has been far less stressed than normal despite the fact that they’ve still yet to get enough to arrest Varley. “Despite spending twenty hours a day together I have no idea why the Boss is in a good mood. But given that my attitude still sucks I think we can reasonably assume it has nothing to do with getting in my pants.”
“Doesn’t everything have to do with getting in your pants DiNozzo?” Gibbs asks breezing past, leaving both Tony and Ziva to stare at his retreating back.
Tony shakes his head and goes for another cup of coffee, pushing down the hope that springs up at that mercilessly.
~~~~~
“Are you sleeping with Gibbs?”
Tony almost groans at having this conversation yet again, but who knows what Abby would make of that, “No Abbs. So far as I know he’s still pinning for you.”
Abby gives him the look, “That’s not what I’ve heard.”
It’s been six months since Gibbs inadvertently implied that he wanted Tony’s ass, and there hasn’t been so much as a whisper about it since. “You must be in on gossip I haven’t heard.”
Abby smirks, “And you’re dying to know what I’ve heard.”
“I do like a good bit of gossip,” He tries his best not to seem too interested.
Abby giggles and leans in, “And you’re helplessly, adorably in love with the Bossman.”
“If you say so.”
“You can’t fool me Tony.”
Knowing that Abbs will interpret any reaction as confirmation Tony just stares. In the end Abby growls, “Fine, go on denying it.”
Tony sighs softly, kisses her temple and whispers, “Self-preservation.”
Abby responds but Tony’s already out of earshot.
~~~~~
“Are you sleeping with Gibbs?”
“What the fuck Fornell?”
“He was humming when he won the jurisdictional pissing contest and yet he barely blinked when Vance agreed to task force it. I figure he must be getting some to be in such a good mood and you’re the most likely candidate.”
“I’m not sure if you’re sexually harassing me or just obnoxious, but I’m going to go do my job now,” Tony announces as the elevator arrives in the bullpen.
“That a no then?” Fornell asks on his way to the conference room.
“That’s a no.”
Gibbs is waiting at the entrance to the corridor and Tony swears he hears Fornell mutter, “Chicken” at him but he can’t be certain.
~~~~~
“Are you sleeping with Gibbs?”
“Hello to you too Dad,” Tony glance around hurriedly hoping no one heard that.
“Are you?”
“No. Mind telling me why you thought I was?”
“You look at him like he hung the moon. He’s very protective of you. And your neighbors say you haven’t been home in two weeks. Plus I have finally accepted that you’re never going to introduce me to a girl.” Senior leans in a little, “And I wish you’d told me you weren’t denying having a thing for that pretty little Ziva to drive her crazy. I would have been on her in a minute.”
Tony shakes his head, considers explaining that he does deny his affection to drive Ziva crazy, just not the way his father would like. In the end he just drops it, “We’ve been out of town for ten days and when we got back we immediately caught a new case. I’ve been catching naps in Abby’s lab. Did you need something?”
“Just dropped by for a visit. Let me take you to dinner.”
“I can’t Dad. I’ve got work to do.”
“Go Tony. Be back in an hour,” Gibbs’ tone is as tired as Tony feels but precludes any argument just the same.
Senior gives Tony a significant eyebrow raise but says nothing as Tony shuts down his computer.
~~~~~
“Are you sleeping?”
“No actually. I want to be, but I’m not.”
“And you’re not sleeping on my couch rather than in your bed because?”
“Because I’ve finally decided that everyone asking me if we’re sleeping together must mean they think they’re seeing something to suggest it might actually happen.”
“Ya think?”
Tony doesn’t deign to respond to that, “When Ducky and Vance both asked me today I figured out this is you being a god damned emotionally stunted bastard.”
Gibbs just stares at him.
“You’ve been telling people we’re sleeping together.”
“Why would I do that?”
“So that you didn’t actually have to say ‘hey Tony, what’s it take for a guy to get into your pants?’ maybe.”
“What if I already knew what it takes to get into your pants?”
“Then I really have no clue what this whole scheme was about. Abby knows I’m hopelessly in love with you, I really don’t see how it’s plausible that you’ve missed it.” Tony sits up and goes quiet over Gibbs’ expression.
Gibbs gives the little half-smile he hides at the Yard and leans against the doorway, “So Tony, what’s a guy gotta do if he wants a little more than into your pants?”
“He stops pulling my pigtails like a six year old for starters. Offers to make me dinner instead of waiting for me to just show up. Stops telling all my friends, and my father for that matter, that we’re sleeping together when he’s too chicken shit to ask me out. Maybe invites me upstairs to get some decent sleep for once.”
“I’ll make you dinner tomorrow at seven. And I never spoke to your father. Bed’s comfortable when you’re not alone in it.”
“You think you’re going to sleep with me?”
“It was the point of all this…”
Tony doesn’t smile until he’s on the stairs with Gibbs behind him, but he’s sure it shows just the same.
Repetition by CC
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony keeps getting asked the same question.