One Last Chance
Chapter 1
Tony sat at his desk reading the words on the screen in front of him. He surreptitiously glanced over at McGee and Bishop, both of whom were as absorbed as he appeared to be. Gibbs' desk was empty and with a disappointed sigh, Tony turned back to the monitor. He loved it when the opportunity arose and he and Gibbs were at their respective desks. Tony was also glad their desks were diagonally opposed - it made glancing over for a look at his boss and his friend easier. And in the past few months, Tony did as much Gibbs watching as he possibly could.
Tony's face reddened at this realization. He was starting to feel like a stalker. He wasn't trying to be the creepy stalker type but since having to accept that Ziva was gone for good, things changed for him. Everyone seemed to have noticed except Gibbs but then, even if Gibbs noticed, he probably wouldn't say anything. Sometimes, he could be so cold and other times, so warm. He was an enigma and even after working with the man for so many years, not much had changed on the surface but he knew Gibbs considered him a friend and Tony considered him a friend. But he was still the Boss.
He cracked his neck and sighed as the tenseness in his muscles loosened and he felt like he could focus on the case. If he let his thoughts wander any more, he would be lost.
Gibbs appeared seemingly out of nowhere. "Bishop…go."
The newest "probie" practically jumped out of her chair and started detailing what she'd learned about the latest homicide victim.
Tony waited until it was his cue and he picked up where Bishop and McGee left off, pulling up a photograph and then a map on the plasma, filling in further details he had discovered, all smoothly and he couldn't help but smile a little, knowing that no one would've guessed he was dying a little inside. After he said his piece, he got quiet and everyone waited.
Gibbs looked at him, his eyes narrowed in a frown. "That it, DiNozzo?"
"Uh…yeah, boss. For now. I was ab---"
Gibbs cut Tony off and issued orders to Bishop and McGee who grabbed their gear and headed to the elevator. Tony didn't miss a beat. He turned toward his desk anticipating what Gibbs would want him to do. "Will pull financial records and…" His sentence was cut off as Gibbs reached out and grabbed his forearm, turning him back. Tony looked at his boss with some surprise.
Gibbs met his gaze directly. "What's wrong with you, Tony?"
Tony looked surprised. So he had noticed. "Huh? Why do you think anything is wrong?"
Gibbs tightened his grip. "You said all that and I counted at least three openings for a movie reference and you missed all of them. What's going on?" Tony looked into Gibbs face for the first time in two weeks and Gibbs was startled at what he saw there. Tony automatically started searching Gibbs' eyes. Fear and…something else shone so brightly that Gibbs released Tony from his grip, something in his gaze sent an electric shock through him. It wasn't unpleasant but the discomfort of a long-suppressed emotion washed over him and at that moment, in that place, he couldn't afford to reveal his soul.
Tony swallowed hard before he answered, never taking his gaze off Gibbs but his eyes still searched. "Please don't ask me that, Boss. Not now. Not here. Maybe not ever."
Gibbs kept his face a mask but he only stared at him for a moment before going back to his desk to get his gun and badge. Something is wrong and it's bad, he thought. Real bad. Ziva maybe? Tony not making jokes, no movie references, the frantic searching for…something in his face. Whatever was eating him, he was scared, terrified even. Gibbs didn't usually push his team to tell him anything they didn't want to but his gut told him it was important, almost urgent.
"Grab your gear, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, his gaze never leaving his. "We have work to do."
Tony was relieved that Gibbs dropped it so readily. Gibbs drove to the workplace of the petty officer whose death they were investigating and were able to talk to his coworkers, most of them were very quiet, many seemed sad, not just women but men too. There were a couple of women who cried openly. Tony noticed a pretty secretary who looked sad but she wasn't crying hysterically. He did what he did best, was kind, charming and inside of 15 minutes, he knew who the deceased's closest co-workers were and even that his best friend worked there and who he had little or nothing to do with. Unfortunately, no enemies that she knew of that would want to hurt him. He returned to Gibbs with information and her phone number. Gibbs couldn't help but grin a little as the information Tony gained saved them a huge amount of time talking to people. They were able to get the people who could help them most.
"Good work, DiNozzo." Gibbs said as they made found the petty officer's best friend.
Tony smiled. It was a bright spot in his day. The smile soon died as they spoke with the petty officer's best friend. He had no motive, no reason to want him dead and by the looks of him, it was taking him every ounce of willpower not to just sit down and sob.
It was almost six o'clock by the time Gibbs and DiNozzo left. Once back in the car, Gibbs called McGee with details, gave him orders and dismissed him and Bishop to go home after they finished carrying out the orders he issued.
"You need anything from the office?"
"My car."
"Will you come over to my house afterward? I want you to tell me what's going on." It was said in a soft tone but Tony knew better. This was an order.
"Gibbs, I'm fine. I…"
"Tony!" Gibbs didn't yell but his tone effectively shut the younger man up. "Whatever is bugging you is affecting your work. A distracted agent is a dead agent. Either you talk to me or I will pull you off active duty until the shrink clears you. What'll it be?"
Tony didn't answer and Gibbs drove back to the yard and stopped near Tony's car.
"I'll be over. I'm going to go home and change first."
Gibbs gave a slight nod in acknowledgement and drove off.
***
Tony drove home, would be glad to get out of the hot work clothes he wore. It was nearing the end of summer but it was still very warm. God, how much do I tell him? Do I dare tell him everything? He's never going to…
Tell him, another voice in his head sounded different. Just tell him. At least then you won't make the mistake you did with Ziva.
Tony drove to Gibb's and as he shut the door behind him he locked it. This was not a night he wanted anyone else barging into Gibbs' house. The basement door was ajar and the light was on.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony has accepted reality but the pain is unbearable. What if he takes one last chance on love? Contains echoes of Tiva.