Kate stared back at Tony in mute disbelief. He had kissed her, right here in his apartment, on his couch, with his arms around her, he had kissed her. And it wasn't just any kiss, it was a question. He was asking her if she understood, if she believed him, if she felt the same way. She was almost afraid of the answer.
On the one hand, she understood him. He was opening his heart and soul to her, letting her see him fully. They had worked together for almost two years now and she had never known he could be so honest with anyone about his feelings. Yet here he was, doing just that with her. She briefly wondered how many other women he had tried this with, how many of them had failed to get past his calloused exterior to see the inner part of his being and find the softness that he hid there.
Back to the other matter, on the other hand she didn't know if she could believe him. Sure he talked a good game, and he knew from previous experience just what to say to a woman to make her feel like a princess around him. But was this time true, or was he just playing the game with her like he did with countless others before her. Her head began to swim slightly at the thought that Tony wasn't doing this to be true, but was simply trying to get her into his bed.
Her thoughts must have conveyed themselves to her facial expressions because Tony suddenly shifted back a bit, giving her a little more space. He peered intently into her eyes, and what he saw there gave him reason to pause.
"Are you tired?" he asked quietly. "Would you like to get some sleep and maybe we can tackle all of this tomorrow?"
She hesitated for a moment. "Sleep sounds good. Where should I go?"
"You'll take my bed," he began without hesitation. "I'll sleep on the couch."
She didn't say anything for a moment, nor did she move, and Tony wondered what she was waiting for. Slowly, it dawned on him that she was waiting for what she felt was the inevitable. He quickly swallowed his sigh of disgust; if he wasn't such a pain in the ass sometimes she would know she could trust him more. He stood up and pulled her with him, standing her on her feet and removing the blanket from her shoulders. Turning her around, he directed her towards his bedroom where the large king-sized bed awaited her.
She looked around his bedroom as he turned down the sheets, and then climbed in when he nudged her towards the bed. Then he tucked her in and reached up to brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear softly. Without another word, he went out the way he had come, closing the door behind him so as not to disturb her rest. Closing her eyes, she was soon drifting off into a fitful sleep.
Tony, meanwhile, settled himself on the couch with the blanket that he had wrapped Kate in, drawing up the edge to just under his nose and inhaling her scent before he too drifted off to sleep. In the morning, they would sort everything out, but for now, he was content to know that Kate was just in the other room, and that he was close by to answer her call, should she do so.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Tony was startled out of a vivid dream by a cry in the dark. He shifted to a sitting position quickly and listened again. There it was again, coming from the bedroom. He stood up to investigate and noticed that the bedroom door was open and Kate was sitting in the middle of the bed, crying. He came in quietly and sat on the bed beside her, gathering her in his arms and stroking her back through the cloth of the robe she was still wearing.
"Kate, what's wrong babe?" His eyes sought out her own in the near dark, pinning her with his gaze once she had focused on him.
"I really thought… thought he was…" she drifted, leaving the rest unsaid as a sob clutched her chest and she moaned again, this time clutching Tony's chest for dear life. He said nothing, but simply held her, knowing that there was nothing else to say that would make her feel any better. Eventually, her sobbing subsided and she gulped in great deep breathes to bring herself under control again. Tony went to tuck her back into bed, but she resisted, clutching to his arms instead and imploring him with her dark chocolate eyes. He nodded silently and shifted the covers back, allowing him just enough room to slip in and join her, gathering her into his arms and stroking her back, comforting her until she began to breath more evenly. After a moment more, they both slept.
Kate felt the heat of sunlight upon her face and scrunched her eyes to keep from being blinded as she turned away from the window. Opening her eyes she came face to face with a still sleeping Tony DiNozzo. For a moment she panicked, trying to remember what had happened the night before. Slowly her memories sorted themselves out and she stifled a groan.
She slipped quietly out of the bed, so as not to disturb him, and was pleased to see the robe still firmly in place. She walked out of the room in search of her clothes. Eventually, she found the laundry room where she located her under wear in the dryer, as well as a pair of sweats and one of Tony's T-shirts. Taking these items with her she ventured back to the bedroom and cautiously entered the bathroom, closing the door behind her but not locking it.
Tony rolled over when he heard the bathroom door close, opened his eyes and experienced his own moment of panic. But hearing the shower turn on relaxed him quickly as he sat up and looked around. He sighed with relief as he realized that she hadn't left yet. Turning his head, he heard his cell phone ringing and went in search of it. Picking it up from the coffee table where he had left it, he flipped it open and answered it smartly.
"DiNozzo here!"
"Where is she? She didn't answer her home phone or her cell phone. Is she alright?"
Gibbs would have been worried about her, Tony should have known that. He thought about the best way to answer the demands of his boss and friend. Then deciding that the best approach was always the direct one he replied, "She's here, with me."
There was silence on the other end of the phone as Gibbs began to process this information. Tony remembered what Gibbs had told him last night, and he was taking it to heart. He wouldn't do anything to hurt Kate; that much the other man knew for a certainty.
"Come in when you can. We don't have a case, but there is paperwork to finish." Gibbs didn't raise his voice, which would have frightened Tony on any other day. This wasn't any other day.
"Will do, Boss." Tony paused for a second. "Have you heard anything from Danny?"
"Not if he wants to stay alive," was the reply before the phone was cut off. Tony just chuckled.
When Kate finished her shower, she dressed in the soft clothes that smelled decidedly like Tony and looked at herself in the mirror. She found herself criticizing her face, body, even her hands as she berated herself yet again for trusting someone like Danny. Tony had been right, there was a flaw in Danny and it was something that she couldn't overcome. She glared at her reflection. Again she gave herself over to the thought that she deserved all of this, but Tony's words rang back in her ears…
"He was a bastard, Kate, and didn't know what he had in front of him."
She grimaced at the thought. Just what was it that she had that made men want to be with her, but felt they couldn't? All she wanted was to be loved and for some reason that was something always out of her reach.
"They want to try and control it, or run from it."
That's what Danny wanted to do. He wanted to control her, make her into what he felt was the ideal woman. Kate made a face in the mirror as she pulled a comb she found on the counter through her wet hair. Kate hated to lose control, it wasn't in her nature. But that was exactly what was happening here, Kate was losing control of herself and she didn't know how to get it back. She decided that there was only one right way to look at this. She had to figure out what she wanted and where she could get it.
Fact 1: She wanted someone who understood her. Like Tony does…
Fact 2: She wanted someone who would let her be herself when she needed it. Like Tony will do at times…
Fact 3: She wanted someone who could read her and know when she needed to laugh or just someone to hold her while she cried. Tony knows that too… He proved it to you last night…
Damnit, she couldn't think straight. She kept putting Tony in everything, and she didn't want him to be there. This is Tony, for crying out loud, the guy was an expert in making women fall for him! She wondered vaguely just how many women he had loved since he was younger and fresh out of college. But then she stopped herself, she didn't really want to know. The struggle within her served to return her thoughts to last nights events and she stood in front of the mirror asking herself another question. If Tony was so good at charming women into going to bed with him each and every night, would he use the same charms on her and try to bed his partner? She shook her head and figured that it was time to leave the bathroom and decide what to do that day.
As she turned and opened the door, she nearly walked into Tony, who was preparing to knock. She stopped suddenly and he noticed the deer in the headlights look she gave him. He stepped back quickly to give her space. "Oh, hey!"
"Umm… I was just using your shower." She grew quiet.
"That's fine," he replied. "Gibbs called just a minute ago."
"Oh? What did he say?" She moved slightly as he began to ease around her, fishing under the sink for something and finally coming up with a brand new toothbrush still in the wrapper. Handing it to her, he grabbed his own and began his morning rituals.
"He said… to come in… when we could…" he spit in the sink before continuing, "we have paperwork that needs to be done."
Kate nodded as she finished brushing her teeth and held the clean brush in her hand. She watched Tony move around the bathroom while wondering what she should do next. Suddenly he turned and stared at her.
"Kate, as much as I enjoy your company, I have to get ready for work." He smiled as he took the brush from her hand, rinsed it with strong mouthwash and stuck it in the holder next to his. Turning back to her, he grinned and pushed her back by the shoulders. "Let me take a shower now and then I will take you home so you can get dressed, okay?"
She nodded in a distracted manner as he shut the door. Her thoughts rolled as she tried to process what had just happened. Tony let her use a new toothbrush… that was nice. But what he did with it, putting it away next to his, seemed so… comforting. She wasn't sure what her feelings were on this. She wanted so badly to talk to Tony about last night, but he seemed in a slight hurry to get to the office, so she let it go for the moment.
When Tony came out of the bedroom, he was dressed in what was, to Kate at least, his most heart stopping outfit. Black slacks with a white button up shirt, expensive Italian leather shoes gracing his feet. He was just strapping on his shoulder holster as he walked into the living room and paused to check his weapon before slipping it into its holster.
"Kate, are you ready to go?" He grinned as she stood up from the couch wearing his shirt and sweats and shuffling in the slippers he had given her the night before. God, but she looked beautiful. She looked down sheepishly and he recognized how skittish she still was.
"I guess so… I'll get these washed and back to you as soon as I can."
"Sure, take your time. But here," he picked up his overcoat and draped it over her shoulders. While she slipped her arms in, Tony began to button up the coat and she was struck with how much it was like the previous night with the robe. Here he was, taking care of her again. When he had finished with the buttons, he reached around her and pulled her into a strong embrace. She didn't fight it, choosing instead to melt completely into his arms. It didn't last long enough for her as she was suddenly standing alone as he reached out to unhook his jacket and head for the door.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony has waited long enough for the woman he desires
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks in large part to Gibbsgirl, MiddleAgedCrazy (MAC) and Rinne for encouraging and Beta work of this story.
I started this at LiveJournal, took it to ff.net and fosff.net, and am now leaving it here for archive purposes.
I started this at LiveJournal, took it to ff.net and fosff.net, and am now leaving it here for archive purposes.