Chapter 12.
Forgiveness.
He managed to walk to the door and was surprised to see no one there. He was sure he had heard the bell. He looked inside and was about to ask Tony if he had heard anything but something made him look back outside. He could see a kid there now. He was not sure he could trust his eyes…it must be his mind playing tricks…
His hands began to shake, his vision blurred. He was not sure he was in his house anymore…
-Danny?...
The boy didn't move and didn' t answer. It couldn't be him…Danny was dead years ago but he this young boy had the same hair, the same eyes…
-Danny?...What are you doing here?
He wanted to call Tony but he could not take his eyes from the apparition in front of him; he didn't want him to disappear and he was sure that if he closed his eyes, the child would vanish. An illusion created by his tired mind… that's what it was but he didn't want this dream to end.
-Danny. I'm so sorry. I should have found a way to help you…I should have been the one killed that day…
The young boy didn't move, didn't answer but Gibbs could now see a smile on his face. He had seen this smile before. Danny had an irrestible smile. The kind of smile which could make the hardest hearts melt.
Gibbs could feel the tears running down his cheeks but for the first time in years he didn't cry because he was sad or hurt. His little brother had given him the most precious gift he could have been given.
By this smile he had said he forgave him. He had told him everything in one smile. Gibbs could feel the weight he had carried for years lighten at the thought Danny was not mad at him.
Gibbs didn't know how much time he remained there looking at nothing. Danny was gone now but Gibbs had not moved.
He saw Ducky park his car at the curb. The ME walked to Gibbs and placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.
-Are you ok, Jethro?
-Yes, Ducky. I'm fine for the first time in years.
-I'm happy to hear that, Jethro even if you don't look so fine to me.
-I'm fine, Ducky…What are you doing here?
-I received a call from the police. They wanted to know if you could go and make your deposition today. I told them I would ask you but I think it would be wise to wait until you feel better.
-I want to do it, Ducky. No need to wait. Let's get rid of it.
They walked inside where they found Tony.
-Hi Ducky.
-Hello, Anthony.
-Tony, I have to go to the police station to make a deposition on what happened at the office with my father.
-You're sure it's a good idea? They can probably wait for one or two days.
-It's ok, Tony. I want to do it. The sooner the better.
Tony walked to Gibbs, wrapping his arms around his waist. He looked him straight in the eyes trying to read the truth.
-I'm sure of it Tony.
Gibbs closed the gap between them and kiss Tony's lips softly. Tony closed his eyes savoring the soft contact.
-You know I can't say no when you talk to me like that…But promise me you will tell me if you're not feeling fine.Ok?
-I promise Tony. But I just need to tell them what happened…
-I know, Jethro but you've been through a lot lately and I'm not sure this new ordeal is really needed…
-I need to do it Tony and I won't be alone…
Tony smiled at him still holding him closely.
-And who are you planning to drag there?
-I think that Ducky would be happy to help an old friend…
Tony kissed him once more and ran to the stairs.
-Give me a minute to get my jacket.
Gibbs turned to face Ducky who was smiling at the sight of his two friends playing like teenagers.
-It's good to see the two of you happy, Jethro.
Gibbs didn't have time to reply because Tony was already running down the stairs his jacket in one hand and his keys in the other hand.
They drove to the police station in silence and Tony could feel the tension raising in Gibbs as they approached the station. He knew his lover needed to do that to be sure the man was sent to jail for a long time. But he could not help feeling they should have waited for that.
As they arrived they were received by the cop in charge of the "Anderson's case". Gibbs told them what he remembered from that day and Tony added what he had seen. Ducky who had thought wiser to follow them talked about Gibbs' injuries. It took them only fifteen minutes and they were about to leave when Gibbs' father was brought into the bullpen.
Gibbs stood up at the sight of his father and Tony placed a gentle hand on is arm trying to reassure him. Anderson was smiling at them…Tony couldn't help shivering when he saw the hate in the man's eyes. He was about to tell Gibbs they'd better get out of here when the older man walked to his father. Tony looked at Ducky a silent question on his lips. He couldn't understand why Gibbs was doing that. He didn't need to talk to the man responsible for his worst nightmare.
Gibbs didn't really know what he was about to do but he wanted to talk to his father. He wanted to face him, to show him he was not afraid anymore. He knew that Tony would be here and the old man wouldn't do anything in the middle of the police station.
-Jethro… what a pleasure to see you here! I heard you've been assaulted and badly hurt.
-I'm touched by your interest for my welfare.
-You can't help being worried for your son…how are you?
Gibbs couldn't help smiling at his father's question. He had closed his eyes trying to find the strength to go on and tell his father what he had to say. Tony had witnessed the exchange and he walked to Gibbs knowing the older would need his help.
Gibbs felt Tony's hand on his back.
-Tony, my father wants to know if I'm fine. Isn't it funny. He was unable to see me without punching me down and today he wants to play the worried father.
-You can't forget the fact that I am your father and even if we had hard times, I loved you.
-You loved me like you loved Danny when you cracked his head on the table and let him die on the kitchen floor? You loved me when you beat me? You loved me when you raped me?
Gibbs had not realised that he had closed the gap between them. He wanted to face him, to look him in the eyes. For the first time in years he had the opportunity to tell him what he felt.
Tony caught the old man by the arm and pushed him away from his lover.
He was afraid of the reaction that this man could have in front of Gibbs' accusations. Gibbs couldn't afford being hurt once more and Tony would do everything needed to prevent him from any pain.
-You've already hurt him enough. I won't let you touch him once more.
-So you need a bodyguard to protect you, Jethro? I thought you were a grown man. Perhaps it's the way it goes in fag's couples.
-You don't know who I am and I don't care. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I'm not ashamed to say that I need him. Not to protect me but to feel loved. He gives me what I never had a chance to have because of you, someone to trust. Now, I want you to leave my life because I would never give you what you are searching for. You won't be able to destroy me, now, I'm done with you and your threats.
-I could destroy your career with what I know about you. I think that your superiors would appreciate knowing what you are doing with one of your team members.
-You can do that but I would only loose a job. Sure I love that job but you know what? You can do anything you want I would always be happy with him.
They were surprised to see the old man sat down on the chair without saying anything. Ducky turned to look at his friends and saw that the exchange had made some damage. Gibbs was swaying dangerously and Tony seemed to be lost in another world.
He thought that something important had been discovered here. He didn't understand how the revelation had affected his friends, but for now he needed to make Gibbs sit down and called Tony back to Earth.
-Anthony, I think that you should help Jethro walk to the car. He needs to sit down.
The young man helped his lover walking slowly to the car but he seemed to still need time to recover. Ducky took the keys from Tony's hands and drove back to Gibbs' house.
Ten minutes later they were all sitting in the living room waiting for someone to say something.
-I think you convinced him, Jethro.
-Maybe, Ducky but to be honest I don't really care what he thinks.
-Do you think he would tell director Morrow about you two?
-I don't know. But I'm not sure Morrow would listen to a man who is about to be judged for assault on one of his agent but I meant it when I said I didn't care.
-You can't mean that.
Tony had been quiet for a long time. Now he directed an angry look at his lover.
-You love your job and you are the best agent they have. They can't afford loosing you. I would ask for a new assignment.
Gibbs turned to face Tony. He realized it was high time that the young man knew how he really felt about him. He cupped Tony's cheek with his right hand forcing the young man to face him.
Ducky couldn't look away even if he knew he was witnessing an intimate moment. He should have left the room but he didn't want to disturb them as they seemed to have forgotten about him.
-Tony, look at me and listen carefully. I don't know what would happen but there is one thing I'm sure about. I want you by my side, to share my life, my bed whatever it might cost. I've already waited too long to be myself with you, to be allowed to show you how much I cared.
Tony could feel the tears that threatened to fall. He could see the love in Gibbs' eyes. For the first time the older man had let the mask down. For the first time in years he could say that he was facing the real Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
The one who had been hurt and betrayed with his fears, his failures and his anger. The man he had fallen in love with, the man who had allowed him to become a part of his life. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him but Gibbs put a finger on his lips.
-I'm not done yet, Tony. if I had to choose between you and my job, I would choose you without any regrets because I can't imagine my life without you. It's never been easy for me to trust people but I trusted you enough to let you see me as I really was. I revealed my fears and my worst nightmares to you...
Gibbs swallowed as if he was about to make a difficult confession.
-You don't need to say it, Jethro.
-I know, Tony but I need you to understand how much I care about you. It won't be real until I say it out loud.
Tony could see how hard it was for him. Gibbs' head was bent as if he was trying to forget about the audience and concentrate on himself. Tony cupped his face with his hands and forced him to look up to him. He was surprised to see tears in Gibbs' eyes. He couldn't let him cry and pulled him in a hug.
-There is no problem, Love. I know what you feel as I feel the same. We will face whatever might happen together. No matter what, I will stay here with you. You don't have to make any promise, I love you.
Gibbs was now crying freely on his lover's shoulder. Ducky decided it was time for him to leave. The two men needed time alone. He waved his hand at Tony and the young man nodded.
It took Gibbs long minutes to calm down but he finally relaxed in Tony's arms. He looked up at Tony trying to catch his breath.
-Sorry Tony. I once more made a fool of myself.
-I can't let you say that the man I love is a fool. In fact, he is the bravest man I ever met. And don't wince, it's true. You've faced your worst nightmare in the last week and today you sent your father to hell.
-I was able to say to him my deepest thoughts and I can't even tell you...
-Danny was the last one to hear those words from you and they are too precious for you. I understand that you would say them when you would be ready.
-Sure, Tony.
-You should go to bed and rest. I will join you soon. I'll eat something before.
Tony helped him up and to his bed.
-Don't worry I can cook without burning the house so lie down and sleep.
Tony heard a whisper coming from Gibbs who was almost asleep.
-Thanks, Tony.
The younger man smiled back at his lover and exited the room. He knew it will take time for Gibbs to be truly himself but he was on the mend.
Tony sat at the kitchen table taking his time to eat. He knew that Gibbs was already asleep. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard a yell coming from upstairs. He abandoned everything on the table and ran to Gibbs' bedroom. As he entered the dark room he saw Gibbs sitting up in bed trying to catch his breath.
-Jethro, What happened?
He walked to the bed as he heard no reply from the man in front of him. He could see sweat running down Gibbs' face. The older man didn't seem to be really aware of his surroundings and Tony understood that he had again had a bad dream. There had been more frequent since his attack but Tony had always been there for him.
-It was only a nightmare Jethro. You are safe in your bedroom with me.
Tony didn't want to touch him. He had tried sometimes but the older man had reacted badly at the touch so he had decided to try another approach.
-Jethro, look at me.
Gibbs didn't move. It must have been a bad one. The conversation they had had earlier must have induced it. Tony decided to try something else.
-Danny is safe with your mother now. You helped him, Jethro. Now he is free.
Gibbs seemed to relax a bite and was able to breath more easily. Tony knew it was now safe for him to come closer. He put his arms around his lover's waist.
-Tony?
-Yes I'm here, Love. Go back to sleep I will stay here with you.
They both fall asleep soon and spent the rest of the night sleeping in each other's arms.
The next morning they woke up as the sun began to lighten the little room. Tony bent and took his lover's hand in his and kissed his palm softly.
-What a nice way to wake up! You know I could get used to it!
As an answer Tony kissed him again, deepening the kiss. As Gibbs opened his mouth, Tony's tongue forced the way. They broke apart to catch their breath. They were both breathing hard, their cheeks flushed.
-I think we should stop now if you want your coffee before noon.
-You are right besides I'm hungry.
-Good ! let's go!
They headed to the kitchen and Tony was surprised when Gibbs took his hand trying to make the contact last as long as he could. Gibbs sat heavily on the nearest chair while Tony prepared coffee and toast.
-What do you want to do today, Boss?
-I don't know. Maybe read a book or go for a little walk. But don't you have a job to do?
-I asked for the week of vacation Morrow had granted us. And he agreed that I deserved it as promised.
-Good so you are free for the next week?
-I'm all yours Boss.
Gibbs couldn't hide the smile that appeared on his face as he heard his lover say those words.
-What are you planning, Boss?
-I am just glad that you would be here for the next few days.
They ate in silence for a moment until Gibbs saw the same sad look in Tony's eyes than he had witnessed the day before.
-Sad memories again?
-I remembered when my father and me ate our breakfast together. Every Sunday morning I would wait for him and bring his coffee while he was reading his newspaper.
-You seem to get along well together.
-It was before he began to see me as his successor. He wanted me to be the next executive president of DiNozzo's corporation. He tried to teach me how to make profits while the only thing I wanted was to play baseball with him.
-Your father must have been disappointed when you decided not to follow his wishes.
-He was even more upset when I told him that I wanted to go to Boston to be a cop and I wouldn't come back.
-What was his reaction?
-He yelled at me, screamed like a good Italian father but he accepted my decision. I thought it would be the good time to be honest with him. If he had accepted me as a cop, he could also accept me being gay. But I was wrong.
-He didn't deserve a son like you. I wish I had known you at that time.
-I was the same pain in the ass as today except I was younger. I grew up living alone. It was the first time far from the family. It wasn't easy at the begining. I had some money left but not enough to live in a city like Boston so I began to work in a club at night and attended the Academy during the day.
-It must have been hard for you.
-I managed. It was hard but I couldn't go back home not after what my father had told me.
-Did you see your mother again?
-No, I tried to call once or twice but my father was always checking on her. It was forbidden for her to talk to me. I knew he could be violent so I stopped calling. I didn't want her to pay for me.
-It was years ago, Tony, she must worry. Maybe you could see if...
-Jethro, it would only hurt not to be able to see her again. I don't want to hope he has changed. I prefer considering I had lost them for good.
-It's not fair for you and for her.
-Don't insist, Jethro. I don't want to see them, to hear about them...
Tony could feel the anger rise but he was unable to control it. Each time he talked about his father he couldn't help feeling guilty. He had abandoned his mother. He knew she had cried a lot after he left.
-Ok, Tony. but she has the right to know that you are fine...
It was enough to make him explode. He didn't want to throw his anger at Gibbs but the tension accumulated in the last days was about to overwhelm him.
-You can't talk about what I should do or not do with my family. Did I ever tell you what to do regarding your father? You decided to face him alone and you didn't hear me say it was stupid. So please, leave me alone with my family.
Gibbs was surprised by Tony's sudden anger but he could understand that the links between a son and his father could be difficult to explain.
-I didn't want to upset you. I just thought if I had the opportunity to see my mother once more I would take it.
-If she was as crazy as your father it wouldn't be a good idea.
Those words had escaped his mouth before he could really think about them. He saw Gibbs' face grew paler. He wanted to take the words back but all he could do was look at him, expecting his lover to say something. When he spoke his face was tense but there was no anger in his voice.
-I don't remember her very well but she used to come to my bedroom at night. She read me stories before I fell asleep. Even after Brian's birth she continued to come. She always had time for me. No, Tony she was not like him. Sometimes, after her death, when I was lying on my bed I imagined she would come to sing my favourite song. I could almost hear her voice but it faded with time.
-I'm sorry, Love. I didn't mean it. Everytime I talk about my family I can't control my anger. I missed her so much. It was hard to learn to live without them.
-Don't you think that you are now strong enough to go there and see if your mother is fine? He had no right to tell her not to see you.
-You may be right but I'm not sure I want to do it now. We had our share of emotions and for now the only thing I want to do is to share time with you.
Gibbs knew that the conversation was over, the younger man didn't want to talk about his family and Gibbs didn't want to push him more even if he thought it was important.
-So, what about a little walk?
-Sure, Boss if you feel up to it. Then a little nap before lunch. Ducky told that he would come to change your bandages and see that everything heals well.
They washed the dishes and enjoyed sharing the simple act. They exited the house a moment later. Gibbs felt well enough to walk alone. It felt good to breath fresh air for the first time in five days. The walk didn't last for long as Tony realised that his lover was still weak, his breathing labored.
-We should go back. The doctors told you to take it easy.
-Yes, besides I'm longing for that nap you promised me.
They headed to the house smiling at each other, walking shoulder to shoulder as they approached the house. Tony was amazed when he felt Gibbs taking his hand, entwining their fingers. The simple gesture told the younger man much more than all the words Gibbs might have said. He wouldn't have thought that Gibbs was confident enough to make such a move in public.
-You are sure you want all your neighboorhood to know we are together?
-I already told you that I didn't care what people may think.
-I don't believe you. Where is my Boss, the one that slapped me behind the head.
Gibbs knew that Tony was teasing but he wanted to see how far he would go.
Tony didn't need proof of the older man's feelings but he liked playing with him, flirting. Gibbs had always been amazed by Tony's ability of acting childishly. He was able to turn every situation into a game.
This time he was not prepared for Gibbs' reaction. The older man wanted to show him that he meant every single word he had said and that he was still the Boss.
Taking Tony at his own game, he stopped walking, turned to face him. Placing his hand behind Tony's neck. The kiss that followed was the most erotic moment they had ever shared. Being kissed by the man he loved in the middle of the street, in front of everyone made Tony shiver.
When Gibbs broke the kiss, he realised that Tony's eyes were still closed. He had obviously scored whatever the game Tony had begun.
-Still doubtful, Agent DiNozzo?
Tony seemed to have lost the ability to speak. He couldn't believe that Gibbs had dared to kiss him here.
-You have lost your mind? No more coffee for you!
He was trying to stay serious but his eyes were shining.
-I love when you play crazy, Boss. I didn't think you were able to do something like that. But it's... well... it's cool.
-I have some abilities that you don't know about!
-I can't wait to discover what you are made of!
The two men were still close and they both felt that the temperature had risen a few more degrees. Tony noticed that Gibbs had not let his hand go and that he was squeezing it as in an invitation.
-I think it's time to go home because I don't know how long I would be able to keep my hands off you. You don't know how hot you are!
-I didn't know you found me hot, Boss.
Tony smiled at the older man. He was aware of the fire burning in Gibbs' eyes and was flattered to be the object of so much desire.
-We should head home, Boss.
Approaching the older man's ear he whispered softly.
-I need privacy to show you how hot I believe you are...
Gibbs shivered at the soft kiss Tony placed on his cheek before breaking the contact. There was no need for more words now, they were definitely on the same page. All they had to do was to allow themselves to feel and let their desire talk for them.
As they closed the door, Tony led Gibbs to the bedroom holding his hand tightly. Arriving in front of Gibbs' king size bed the younger man faced him, trying to see if his soon-to-be lover was ready to take the next step. He knew that it would be hard for him to be confident enough to face such intimacy. As always he was unable to read him. The older man was used to hiding his feelings for so long that it appeared to be natural.
-Promise me that you will tell me if you are not comfortable with anything. I don't want to rush things between us. We will take all the time we need to adjust to our new relationship.
A bright smile appeared on Gibbs' face and Tony realised that he had just said what the older man needed to hear from him.
-Thanks, Tony. I just want to feel that someone could indeed love me.
He approached Tony, looking at him. For the first time Tony was able to see that sincerity and that faith that he had missed with every men or women he had once believed to be in love with.
-Make love to me, Tony.
It was only a whisper but it Tony heard him loud and clear. The younger man felt his heart melt. He had had many experiences with both men and women. But it had always been sex first and talk another day... maybe. But today it was different. Gibbs was too important to him to risk loosing him.
He knew that the man in front of him was the one he had been searching for all those years. He didn't want to push him too far, too fast. But he couldn't have misunderstood Gibbs' words. He could see the desire in his eyes reflecting his own feelings, he could feel his warmth so close to him. He decided to let his hands talk fo him and began to softly caress Gibbs' arms, shoulders never breaking eye contact.
Gibbs was focused on Tony, the feeling of his hands on him, the scent of his skin close to him… so close. He seemed to be unable to control his mind anymore, thinking of how soft his skin must be, wondering how his skin would taste.
As Tony unbuttoned his shirt, Gibbs could not prevent a moan. He had the feeling that he wouldn't be able to stay up if Tony continued. He was about to fall overwhelmed by the sensations that the younger was awaking in him. He had dreamt of this moment for so long that he couldn't believe it was real this time.
He closed his eyes allowing his shirt to fall on the floor of his bedroom. His chest was still heavily bandaged and Tony was very careful in his exploration, his hands traveling lightly on Gibbs' upper chest. Gibbs tried to stay up when Tony's mouth began to play with his right nipple but it was a lost cause.
His knees gave up under him and he landed on his mattress. His fall was softened by Tony's arms. The younger man followed him down still busy exploring his lover's chest. Tony was the Boss and even it was pretty new for him to be in charge with Gibbs he was really enjoying the sensation.
Gibbs was unable to move not only he had a very possessive man who was pinning him down but it seemed that he had lost his willpower the second Tony had put his mouth on him. He wanted to touch, to feel, to give back what Tony was making him feel but he was lost in the sensation of being so close to the one he loved so fondly.
Gibbs opened his eyes when Tony broke the contact.
-What's wrong, Tony?
-Nothing, I just wanted to see you. I want to really see you...
Tony smiled at the puzzled expression written on Gibbs' face. He moved his hand down to Gibbs' waistband, making his intentions pretty clear.
-Only if you are comfortable with it...
The older man could see the insecurity in Tony's eyes and he couldn't blame him because he was not so sure himself to be ready for what Tony had planned but he nodded quietly. He wanted to be with him more than anything else.
-But I want to see you too, Tony.
-I was planning something like that. To be honest with you what I had in mind implied us being naked.
Tony knelt on the bed, pulling off his shirt. Gibbs couldn't help staring at the man before him.
-I want to touch you.
Tony kissed him and whispered words in his ear that Gibbs' brain was trying to translate as Tony's hand unfastened his belt and undid the zipper of his jeans.
"Touching is good"... As soon as he understood what Tony had said, he allowed his hands to discover Tony's body. They took their time feeling, exploring but it wasn't enough.
Tony broke the contact once more breathing heavily. He looked down at Gibbs. There was no need for words when he saw how confident the older man seemed to be. Tony slowly pulled down Gibbs' pants still looking for any sign of discomfort in Gibbs' eyes. But his move only result was a soft moan which escaped Gibbs' throat. Even if he could see that Gibbs wanted it as much as himself, he didn't know if he would be at ease with him being so close. Gibbs seemed to understand his hesitation.
-I want it Tony. I trust you.
Tony didn't need anything else and he pulled off the last item covering Gibbs' body. Tony stood and looked down at the man he loved so much. He was flattered by the trust Gibbs had had in him to allow him to go so far. He knew it had been a big step to take for the older man. Tony got rid of his pants and boxers.
They were both naked now and Tony couldn't help thinking about the time they had wasted.
Gibbs shivered as Tony's body pressed against his side. The heat was spreading gently through him as the younger man went for more exploration. It was amazing to see how easy it was to trust this man.
Their bodies seemed to already know each other. Tony knew where to touch, to caress. There were no obstacles, no barriers. Tony was kissing him, mapping his body with both his hands and mouth. It felt so damm good. Nobody had ever been able to make him feel so wanted, so loved.
Tony was showing him what it was like to be loved. He was giving him what he had missed for so long. Gibbs suddenly felt his eyes burning as tears spilled over. Tony heard the soft sob that his lover had tried to supress.
-Are you ok, Love?
Tony was worried by Gibbs' reaction. He knew that they should have waited to go further but Gibbs had seemed to be ready. He looked down at Gibbs and saw no fear in his eyes. He gently patted his right cheek, wiping away the tears.
-What happened, love?
-I'm fine, Tony.
-You don't look so fine to me.
-I was just thinking...
-I see. I understand we should have waited until you are ready...
-No, you don't understand Tony. I want to be with you, to share every thing I have with you... And I really mean it... It's just...
-Hey, we don't need to do anything tonight. I fine with just sharing your bed...
-Thanks, Tony. What you are giving me is so unexpected and so wonderful. I don't want to loose it.
-You won't loose it. I am not going anywhere for the next fifty, or so, years.
Gibbs stayed still for a moment and Tony wished he hadn't said too much. He didn't know what Gibbs wanted to do with their new relationship. They hadn't had time to talk about what they would do. Gibbs sighed heavily and looked at Tony, his blue eyes wet with tears.
-Tell me it is really happening. Tell me that you will still be here tomorrow and the day after...
-You are stuck with me for a very long time, Leroy Jethro Gibbs because I have fallen deeply in love with you and nothing will make me change my mind.
-Can you just hold me Tony?
Tony took him in his arm and Gibbs found his place, his head on Tony's chest. They stayed quiet for a moment. Tony could hear Gibbs' sobs and feel his tears on his chest. He didn't care if they didn't make love soon, there were more important things than his physical needs. He knew that it would take time for Gibbs to be able to face such intimacy but for the first time in his life he was willing to wait.
-You know I love you , Jethro. What we have is really important for me. You don't have to be ashamed in front of me and I want you to tell me what you want, what you need me to do or not do. I will always be there for you, to hold you whenever you need. You don't even have to ask.
Gibbs kissed Tony's chest, still crying. Tony felt suddenly helpless. He wanted to comfort him but didn't really know how to do so.
-Talk to me, Love.
When Gibbs finally decided to talk, his voice was barely audible.
-I... Do you know how long I have waited for you? How alone I felt before I met you?
-I think I can. But we are together now and nothing will separate us...
-Sure, Tony...
Tony didn't like the insecurity he could hear in Gibbs'voice. He put a hand on his lover's cheek, making him look at him.
-Now, listen carefully to me. I will never allow anyone to come between us. Do you hear me? You are mine now.
Gibbs didn't miss the possessive tone in Tony's voice but he didn't feel threatened as he might have been. Tony was right, he belonged to him even more than the younger man could imagine. Tony had always been his equilibrium, the only that had been able to ground him and now he had become a part of his soul.
-I have never needed anyone as much as I need you, Tony. If I ever loose you I don't know ...
A finger on his lips quieted him.
-Don't think of what might happen. Nobody can tell what the future will be made of. But we have a lot to discover, a lot to share.
-Yeah, Tony. I know but I ....
Tony knew what Gibbs was trying to tell him. The older man had been unable to express his feelings for Tony. Even if he had tried to tell him how much he cared, the words were too hard to say for him. Tony wanted to reassure him, tell him that he didn't need him to say the words. But he also knew Gibbs needed to say them to feel that what they had was real.
-Brian once told me that I had the right to be loved and I remember answering him that it would be true when I would allow myself to love someone again. I was wrong, Tony. I needed to feel that someone loved me to open my heart again. You gave me so much more, Tony. you offered me your trust, your friendship, your love even when you realised the mess I was.
-Hey, don't talk like that of the man I love...
Gibbs laughed kissing Tony's chest.
-You allowed me to open my eyes, my soul. You are right Tony. I belong to you , heart and soul.
As Gibbs stopped talking, Tony's eyes were wet, nobody had ever made such a heartful declaration to him. He knew that he was now where he belong too. He had finally found his home, there in his Boss' arms. He didn't need anything else. He had anything he needed to feel happy, complete.
He knew that Gibbs would soon be asleep as he heard his breath slow down. He put his hand in his lover's hair gently patting his head.
-I love you, Boss. You can sleep now. I will be right there when you wake up.
Gibbs muttered something with a sleepy voice and reached for Tony's ear, softly kissing him.
-Love you, Tony.
The older man was now asleep but Tony was unable to close his eyes for an hour. He looked at the man asleep in his arms. He didn't know what they would do with their relationship. There was so many questions they had not already solved but he was sure of one thing. He was in love with this man and he would fight for this love, for him whatever it may cost.
Author's Chapter Notes:
A new step for Tony and Gibbs!
Chapter End Notes:
This is the last part for now.