Chapter 4.
True love…?
Blair had called Jim and he had told him he would do his best to convince his captain to let him take days off. But Blair knew Simon would never say no to his best investigator. Jim had so many days off to take that he could stay a whole month without working. The other reason that made Blair think Jim would be here soon was what he had heard in his voice. His Sentinel was missing him as much as himself missed him. It had always been hard to be far from him and he could well imagine what Tony was feeling right now.
His friend had fallen asleep but Blair knew he would not find any rest in sleep. Tony had thought it would be a good way to be closer to Gibbs. Blair had agreed. He had himself many times experienced it; he had been able to almost see Jim in his dreams. And for now it was the only thing they could do to find where Gibbs had gone.
Blair knew that it would be almost impossible to find him if he didn't want to be found. With his Sentinel's abilities and his training as a Marine he would find a way to hide for everyone. The only one who could still reach him was his Guide. Even if they had not had the time to build that link, Blair had seen that they were already really close and he could only hope it would be enough.
He didn't want to imagine what could happen if they didn't bring Gibbs back to Tony. He had never seen his friend cried before tonight but Tony seemed to be lost without Gibbs. The bound between a Sentinel and his Guide was strong and neither of them could break it without almost killing himself but Blair had recognized something else in Tony's eyes when he was looking at Gibbs.
Love was not so usual between Sentinels and Guide. Some "couples" became real ones but the relationship they had to build didn't not automatically include intimacy. But Blair had definitely seen something in Tony's eyes. He didn't know Gibbs well enough to tell and Sentinels were most of the time good at hiding their feelings. It was obvious for him that there had to be more between them than friendship and respect.
Tony was sleeping on the couch and Blair could see his eyes move being his eyelids. A dream…maybe it would be the one that would lead them to Gibbs and allow them to save him before it's too late. Tony was murmuring in his sleep and even if Blair couldn't understand what he was saying he knew he was talking to Gibbs.
Suddenly, Tony sat on the couch.
-Inti…!
Blair walked to him and sat on the couch, placing a hand on his shoulder. Obviously the dream had not been a good one. Sweat was running down Tony's temples and Blair could still read fear in his eyes.
-What have you seen, Tony?
-He needs me, Blair. He is alone… I can feel it…
-I know but if you want to find him you have to tell me exactly what you've seen in your dream. You think you can do that?
-I can try but it was not so clear, Blair. It was more feelings, sensations than images or sounds.
-Anything you can say could help us. I think Jethro is aware that he needs you even if he is trying to ignore it. And the only way he can talk with you is in your dreams.
Tony looked at his friend. He knew that Blair was hiding something from him. Blair knew why Gibbs had gone and he didn't want to tell him.
-Blair, you know why he's gone.
-You must concentrate on your dream, Tony.
-Not before you told me what you are trying to hide.
Blair sighed but he knew it was useless to try to convince Tony he was not telling him the whole truth because he thought it as better for him.
-I think Jethro is gone because he had to protect you.
-Why? He never felt that need before…
-You are sure of that, Tony?
Tony was about to reply but the most he thought of it, the less convinced he was about it. He had never thought Gibbs was acting differently with him but to be honest the older man was always behind him, looking at him. He had never paid really attention to that because it had felt so natural for him to have Gibbs close.
-It's a part of his mission as a Sentinel. His Guide is his only link to the world in case of a zone out and a part of himself, of his identity. If he had felt you in danger, he would have done anything to save you…
-With no consideration for his own life…?
-I think it had something to do with the dream he had. He had been unable to interpret it and he reacted the only way he could to it.
-Risking his own life to save me from what …?
-You don't understand Tony. It is not a rational thought. He is acting on emotions, feelings. He has to protect you no matter what… and that's what he thinks he is doing by going away from you.
Tony had another question to ask but he was not sure Blair would be able to answer considering the relationship he had with Jim. But he couldn't help wondering if it was only the reaction of the Sentinel trying to protect his Guide or more Gibbs trying to protect Tony.
Blair looked at his friend. He knew Tony had more questions than he could answer. He also knew Tony's question were not all about Sentinels. He was more and more convinced his friend had strong feelings for his boss.
-Has Jim ever done that?
-No. The day he threw me out of the loft it was because he was feeling threatened by the other Sentinel, Alex. He was trying to protect his territory in a way and he thought I had helped her.
-I see. So Gibbs going away from me is not a sign that…
-That…what… Tony?
-I don't know. I was just thinking that there could be more than a Sentinel thing behind it…Forget about it.
-No, you are probably right Tony. I think that even if his reaction is linked to the Guide-Sentinel bound, he would not have gone away like that if there was not something more…
Blair could see the light he had created in his friend's eyes saying those words. But Tony sobered immediately.
-I mean it, Tony. I've seen him look at you. I've seen the way he trusted you without resistance. Believe me it was not so easy and natural with Jim at the beginning. Most of the time, we were fighting for everything. I think there is something really special between the two of you.
Tony smiled at his friend.
-As if being a Guide and a Sentinel was not already special…
-Let me remind you of some of the researches we made. A Sentinel has to find a Guide but most of the time it's not the one they are destined to. Burton thought each Sentinel had one Guide and only one. In isolated tribes in the middle of the jungle it was easy for them to find their real Guide. But nowadays and here it's almost impossible so Sentinels had to adapt.
Blair let some time for to Tony to think about what he was implying. He knew his friend was filling the blank and he smiled when Tony talked before he could go on.
-So you are saying that few Sentinels find their real Guide and that they have to do with second choice…
-Thanks for the "second choice" comment…
Tony didn't understand at first but he soon realized what Blair was meaning.
-You are not Jim's true Guide…? But the two of you seem so close…?
-We are but it's mostly because we are working at it for years. I told you at first it was not easy for us. We had to learn how to live together, how to work together. The fact that we are in love with each other is helping but, no, I'm not Jim's true Guide.
Tony stood up and began to walk around the room. Blair could almost hear his brain working.
-And you think Gibbs and me…
-Yes, Tony. I think you are a pair…a real one. When we found him in his house last night I feared you would be unable to bring him back. I would not have done that with Jim when he didn't know I was his Guide. It took us time to build what seems to be natural for you and Jethro. And it's a chance…
-How…?
-Because I think the link between you two is strong enough for you to find him even if he didn't want to.
-Don't under estimate him, Blair.
-I'm not, Tony. But even if he is strong, he wouldn't be able to fight the need…He can't ignore who he is and I don't think he would be able to break the link without …
Blair stopped, not sure Tony needed to hear that part now.
-Without what…?
-Without putting his own life into the line.
Tony had stopped his pacing and was looking at Blair. He had felt that. It was what his dream had been about. He had sensed Gibbs had no other choice if he wanted to really get rid of what was between them. And what scared him the most was that he had felt the older man was ready to do it. He would do what he had to do to protect him no matter what it would mean for him.
-Is he strong enough to do that, Tony? Do you think he would go that far if he thinks it's the only solution?
Tony wished he could have said him no. He wished he could have told him Gibbs would never do that, that he would fight and come back to him so that they could find a solution together. But he knew deep inside the older man would never do that. Gibbs had always dealt with his problems alone. Most of all, Tony could feel that he was about to loose him. This sensation was there since he had left him only hours ago.
He couldn't explain how he knew that but the sensation was eating him from the inside.
-I saw him in my dream…in a way. It was as if he was trying to tell me something…but it was not clear.
-Come here and sit down. We are going to try something.
Tony didn't ask what he had to do. He trusted Blair enough to let him guide him.
-Close your eyes and try to relax. Concentrate on the sensation you felt in that dream.
Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was not difficult to go back into his dream. The sensations were still here.
Sadness, loneliness…but there was something else behind it…He couldn't put a name on it but it was a reassuring feeling…belonging…No, definitely something more. He could almost hear Gibbs' voice now; he could picture his face…
Blair was about to bring Tony back to the reality when he saw tears running down his cheeks but his friend opened his eyes before he could make a move.
-What's wrong, Tony?
Tony didn't answer and Blair was scared that they had been too late. He knew that a Guide could feel when his Sentinel was hurt but he could only imagine what it could be for a Guide to really loose this link.
-Tony, talk to me…You're scaring me.
Tony looked at him and Blair could not identify the emotions that were drawn on his friend's face.
-What have you felt, Tony?
Tony sighed heavily trying to regain the control of his mind.
-I felt… his love, Blair…So much love…
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony finds out the real reason behind Gibbs' flight.