She did it. My girl. Abby, she said her name was. Amazing that I could fall in love with her without knowing her name. But I did. And she turned me in. I showed up at her place. Needed to explain to her why I wasn't at lunch. She opened the door in an oversized t-shirt. She had suitcases under her eyes and she had been crying. I thought it was because she thought I had stood her up. I moved forward and pulled her close, apologising over and over. It took me a while to realise she was doing the same thing.
She pulled me inside and made me sit down. I tried to speak, to tell her. I was going to tell her everything. She already knew. She's a fed. Or at least, she works for them. She called her boss, told him about me, and then made love to me in the shower. She set me up and kissed me goodbye. So why do I still love her?
I couldn't stay there. After she told me, she tried to kiss me. I pulled away. I couldn't kiss her. Couldn't touch her. Couldn't look at her. I love her so much, and she betrayed me. So I ran. I ran back to the attic I had spent the day hiding in, and I curled up there and cried. I couldn't understand how she could do it. And how I could still love her anyway.
I understand now. It's simple really. She is too good for me. I'm damaged. I always will be. I have blood on my hands that can never wash off. No matter how she felt for me, she had no choice but to turn me in. She is too good not to. Just like no matter what she did to me, I have no choice but to keep loving her. She is too good not to.
I can never be good enough for her. Even so, I can't live with myself knowing I didn't try. Which is why I'm here. At the NCIS Headquarters. I have never heard of them, but that's who Abby says is after me. Who she works for. I walk in and am stopped by a security guard. I tell him that my name is Lehaine, and that a Special Agent Gibbs will want to see me. Then I wait.
The old guy who held the gun to my head comes down to get me. The entire team come with him. Italian guy, his girlfriend, baby-face, and my girl. My Abby. She stares at me in shock as I turn around and put my hands behind my back for cuffing. As Italian guy leads me off to Interrogation Room One, I see her mouth move. No sound comes out, but I can see her ask why. As we pass her I stop. Just for a second. Just long enough to tell her.
"I love you Abby."
We keep walking, and she watches with tears streaming down her face. But it's how it should be. She's too good for me. And I'm where I belong.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Final chapter.