"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
by your resonating mind
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you´re gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have... all of me"
It was about 3:30 in the morning and I was on my balcony singing it. I mean, that song just fit my mood at that time.
It was like a week after he'd left and nobody really talked about it, and Agent Michelle Lee was filling in for Tony. But earlier that day I just broke down crying because a suspects name was Tony. (He ended up being the murderer.)
When I was still on my balcony, my dad came up and stood beside me, leaning on the railing. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, really." I said, "How long have you been here?"
"Long enough to notice that you really aren't OK." he said with a hint of a smile on his face.
"Yeah, whatever. It's just that, I can't believe that he would leave just because I told him I liked him, I mean, it's not that weird or crazy... Is it?"
"No, not really. Whenever your mom told me she liked me, I just kinda shrugged and said OK. Well, of course then 2 days later I asked her to prom..." he said trailing off and reminiscing. (My parents were high school sweethearts, by the way.) "But I also think it had to do with something else, but I just can't put my finger on it."
"I know, but what do you think it's about?"
"Jeanne Benoit might be the reason. I mean, he loved her and he was pretty messed up after she said that she never wanted to see him again."
"Yeah, but he was the one who said that none of it was real."
"Good point, but we can ponder over this in the morning, well at least in a couple of hours anyway, but lets just get back to bed." he said, turning to walk back into my room.
I layed down in bed, and he covered me up and kissed me on the forehead. (Yeah that's right! I still get tucked into bed at night!) "Good night daddy." I said looking up at him with big blue eyes.
"Good night, princess." he said, then he turned and walked out of my room and turned off my light.
The only problem was is that I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to write a song. I didn't get very far until I got too tired to write anymore. So little far in fact, that I only got the name of the song figured out. It's called 'Cold As You'.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Taylor and her dad have a late night talk on her balcony, which makes Taylor write the NAME of a song, not the lyrics... YET
Chapter End Notes:
By the way, all of the songs I use in this story belong to the writers and artists that created them.